ThisTimeLastYear
98027
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(originally posted by @benzcl55 on 2022-11-09 06:18:35)
Nov 8, 2023 11:00 AM
ThisTimeLastYear
98027
1825
28
(originally posted by @benzcl55 on 2022-11-09 06:18:35)
Slugsie
You're forgetting that Cats and Toilet Paper manufacturers have VERY powerful lobbying groups and can control many Senators and Congress critters.
thatwoodguy
We're getting the same sort of thing happening here in Canada with the new conservative leader who wants to be PM over Justin trudeau. The guy is an absolute weasel, a career politician who has never held a job in the private sector, versus a former school teacher who complains about the elites. If he's calling School teachers Elites what do you think he says in private?
mannabananarama
My Canadian business partner’s description: “It’s like we’re Neighbor’s and our kids play with each other; and we BBQ together; and then one time I go in your basement and there’s Swastikas all over the walls.
BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear
All the media about virginia is like "Stupid porn bitch LOSES LIKE A LOSER LOSERFACE LOL! GO BACK TO PORN WHERE YOU BELONG!" Like have you even looked at her opponents platform? Or his private business interests? Because I'm certain a little porn is about to be the least of your problems.
OMFGWhatHaveWeDONE
daranthered
Dysentery is an American tradition. To leave it behind would be a betrayal of all those who died of it before us.
BubblesTheFish
As long as the liberals also get diarrhea forever then it will be well worth it!
Khyburn
I mean, England is no rose garden either but America is my idea of hell.
diggerwoods
"I dont wanna pay for your damn puppy. soon you'll want drag queen story hour."
StormofWyverns
“Won’t someone please think of the toilet paper manufacturers? I might be one someday, so I won’t stand for them loosing business ever!1!1!” (Obvious /s)
WalksWithNoFear
demagreg365
Except diarrhea forever wins because of an archaic system which was built to preserve slavery
thedarkcanuck
Let's not pretend like the Canadian political landscape isn't on track to be the exact same way
Seanspeed
Much like the UK, they're not trending well, but they're still well away from the dregs of American right wing nonsense.
IOftenDeleteCommentsCauseISuckAtTyping
Well, if the Diarrhea Forever Party pinky-promised that YOU wouldn't get diarrhea forever, then intelligence is the only thing keeping you from believing them.
KAPTKipper
I swear half the US votes just to shit on the other half
Toqom
It's actually very easy to understand when you realize religion was made to control the poor with, "if you deal with your shit life on earth, you'll be kings in heaven." It was just the ultimate, if you just suffer with the conditions I'm giving you, you'll be rewarded when you die, then they die and nothing happens because religion is fake like every imaginary friend, this one just convinces them to collectively suffer. If you really believe in God and being all powerful, why guns?
Toqom
If you own guns, you don't believe in your god at all, or at least that he doesn't have a plan for everyone. Prayer also proves it's bullshit. Some all knowing, all powerful God, with a plan for everything, but will change it all if you ask him through prayer? It's like email scams with deliberate typos we make fun of, but the scam is looking for massive idiots who don't see typos, guess which people frequently can't see typos on scams? Religious people who have been taught to burn books.
FalafelWithAngeldust
Seanspeed
Something I've said for a long time is that I wouldn't be surprised if at some point right wingers rally against offering up seats on buses for old people and make it a 'divisive issue'.
roughingupthesuspect
Republicans are fully under the control of their media echo chamber masters to the point that they gladly vote against their own interests. Fortunately for them they benefit from democrats still winning..
Seanspeed
It's a mistake to think that Republican voters are slaves to right wing media. In fact, right wing media is more just tailored to say what Republicans voters *want to hear*. They are pandering to already horrible people. Sure, it reinforces this horribleness, but the horribleness needed to exist in the first place to pander to.
obarey
"Sure diarrhea sucks but it pisses off those puppy-loving libs"
fartharder
And yet we still get a constant stream of people saying both sides are the same.
Rubblebubble
the people that say both sides are the same are wrong, but people saying both are bad are not. GOP is 100x worse, but Dems by and large are too beholden to corporations to truly do good. Biden has said he'd veto a medicare for all bill, his admin has enabled tons of new oil and gas drilling, Congress couldn't even pass a ban on lawmakers trading stock despite rampant insider trading.
swedeonamoose
Also you got the massive amount of people who cant decide if a puppy or lifelong diarrhea is better so they just dont vote.
Tellenue
More like "Excuse YOU I am a cat person and because you are only giving away puppies I will not only not vote for you, I will actively tell others you hate cats and ignore the part where that means diarrhea wins every time"
6313326
"I don't like diarrhea, but puppies are so much work..."
KR1570F
the willingness of some to endure diarrhea just so that the people they think deserve diarrhea have to have it too is sad
candar
Nail on the head
Buddha7
A living, breathing, voting example of the phrase, "cut off your nose to spite your face"
MioTaalas
They don't think the diarrhea they suffer is even fault of the ones they voted themselves... media war has been super effective over decades.
TheJuiceLoosener
Perfect example: /gallery/S2CcRrD; We'd rather falsely arrest a black guy than identify who among us is killing white children.
ShowMeBunnies
They'd eat shit so other people have to smell their breath.
yourmomatwoodstock
Magical comment
sturm24
Well the Dems aren't exactly giving away puppies. They might give you a roll of to before though.
ThankYouForYourTime
Dems: We wrote this bill for free puppies. Let’s vote and pass it! Reps: NO! Puppies are GODLESS COMMUNISTS!
smitmp02
Afterwards, Republicans are like THE DEMOCRATS ARE TAKING AWAY OUR FREE PUPPIES
ThankYouForYourTime
Fox: Democrats want to REPLACE your WHITE puppies with GAY BROWN MARXIST puppies who want OPEN BORDERS and SUPPORT UNIONS!
kerms
It's more like Dem voters are asking for puppies, but everyone has diarrhea and Dems have no choice but to give out Pepto Bismol, but only a half dose because it has to be a compromise in order to pass because the House Republicans want the diarrhea.
pfunk81
That is an astonishingly accurate metaphor that is on point with this post. +1
Seanspeed
This deserves more upvotes than other post in this topic.
Rubblebubble
100% but i'd add that only some of the Dems want to give out puppies. some are essentially "Diarreah is fine since we hand out pepto"
Seanspeed
Only a very small percent of Dems feel that way. Too many people do not grasp that there's not actually a very big line between 'progressives' and 'moderates' among Democrats. Most moderates want most of what progressives want as well. Dems just rarely have the power to achieve any of this given how the US government is built and how Republicans nearly always have enough power to obstruct things.
CommentsThisTimeLastYear
The worst part is how gleefully the poopers are about the poop! Like they are ecstatic about shitting themselves stupid. Stupider.
crossingdynasty
When you wallow in shit you want everything to be shit
chowyungfatso
No. The joke is that they are willing to drink the poop so that libs will be forced smell the poop on their breath.
therandombagofmeat
The shit is a gift from god
TheFashionGuy1
And they brag about how much the shitting is damaging them. "I lost a kidney!", "oh yeah? I lost my liver."
TeamSpicyTacos
And, to top it off, I'm in a state that's just gonna ensure everyone gets puppies, while the people who will get the worst diarrhea are the ones likely to vote for diarrhea. Example: Arkansas passed law to allow children to work; I'm in Massachusetts, we just passed a millionaire tax and used it to provide free breakfast and lunch for all school children, independent of need. Just so proud here.
RandAIFlagg
"I hate not being able to take a solid shit but look at all the libz who are shitting themselves cauise of us hahahaha"
Jojowmojo
That's a "bigly" statment!
ImAnEnabler
We tell them they shouldn't want to poop this way. They, in turn, poop harder and looser to show us their freedom to poop however they want.
Katateochi
You know how drug addicts really like to get someone else onto their particular drug? Now replace "drug addicts", with "political extremists", or "religious zealots".
echoawoo
Dopamine is the chemical messenger responsible for most neurological addictions, and this is definitely a neurological addiction. Nothing else would cause someone to cut off their head to spite their face.
Yotarian
It's all that ivermectin.
CommentsThisTimeLastYear
(originally by @ImmortalChild on 2022-11-09 06:23:44)
CommentsThisTimeLastYear
Original post: /gallery/4eMTTo6
CommentsThisTimeLastYear
Original top comment: /gallery/4eMTTo6/comment/2281030741
doctorId
They want to shit themselves so that maybe they can catch some in their hands and throw it at a puppy lover.
MioTaalas
Because they've been made, by right wing media, to think that everything they voted for is the fault of the ones they didn't
It's been amazingly effective because people in USA are unarmed against it because the government, that they're torpedoing with their ignorance, is incapable (and unwilling) of changing laws and regulations to fix media AND education so people would be able to vote with knowledge, not ignorance.
Vicious cycle.
thedarkcanuck
iamgurd
Maybe the worst part would be all the diarrhea deniers 😆
hydrocarbon82
The only problem it they do an about-face when they have to face the shits themselves. THEN they're all about the puppers life.
xRevenx
In my experience, the diarrhea forever party has a few "news" outlets that constantly report record solid poops, that their poops are the best and most efficient. Despite the overwhelming evidence of runny poops and stained underwear, their viewers believe their lies. Eventually, the viewers internalize it become proud of the fact that they all have runny & messy poops together.
ArthurPhillipDent
Our political rivals wil also get diarrhea forever, and WE can handle it, but they cant, stupid libs /s
Okebel
Once you're lying in a steaming pile of shit, it stinks, but it's also nice and warm. Some people prefer the warmth over getting out of shit.
ephankrised
Come poop with us, poop with us! Don't you wanna join us in the pooping?!
scapegoatandthebandit
No, the worst part is hearing "But I'm not a dog person!" From someone who says they hate diarrhea but doesn't want to vote.
TomBrokaw
"You have to house train puppies so you'll still get shit everywhere. Bofe sides!"
QuigleyDownUnder
You have to put yourself in their mindset, sure I'm shitting myself constantly and it hurts and I desperately want it to stop but at least the side I don't like is being forced to shit themselves too and that makes me happy.
DrJackBright
Plus that side doesnt get a puppy! Clearly worth it
andrewgrr1
Some people may die of dehydration, but that's just the cost of being pro life!
zanaria
Actually the worst part is that they literally smear the shit over the walls...
RandAIFlagg
And then tell each other that it's art
MildlyConfusedDino
While blaming the people with puppies for the smell
proracing53
echoawoo
And on our puppies
IGotHeartLikeJohnStarks
Looks the same from Australia.
AnonKneeMoose
Color is different.
nclu
Let's be honest, this is also what the UK looks like. Hell, we've been going on a decade of reactionary populists coming to power around the world. It's just more consequential for everyone when it happens to the global hegemon
notacobra
Unfortunately, it's also the same IN Australia.... Except diarrhoea forever usually wins.
geotard
Well a shitlord owns the media so it's a continuous fart played on every outlet
MrNobodyWTB
I'm sure there's about 180 degrees of difference from there.
Frankasti
I'd say about 120. Roughly.
Lordhartley
UK is the same also, but ours include punches to the face every Tuesday
geotard
Yeah but you're really good at queuing for things. I can just see the orderly line for face punches from here
cozmicflea
Id be way more interested in watching the House in the USA if they were throwing punches. Quite a few of them deserve a whack
Rijtjeshuis
True, but Alberta makes it so much harder to maintain a sense of smug superiority.
TheGreyGryphon
Yeah... Looks at our Premier inviting Tucker Carlson...
RyanH42
Your healthcare is also about to be privatized. But hey, you're getting a new arena out of the whole deal.
Cranbananarama
Mmm, ketchup...
LuLuPennyAndOdium44
Ketchup flavored lays, wtf Canada
Tellenue
Two things I miss about Canadian food- tourtierre and ketchup chips.
I'm also very sorry about what happened to Tim's. I will never know a good Timbits box with a double double again, but neither will Canadians, and that is the real crime here.
masterpainimeanbetty1
what is tourtierre?
Rijtjeshuis
It's a pastry pie crust with a minced meat filling.
masterpainimeanbetty1
that sounds really yummy
iRegretThisUsernameAlready
It’s a common flavor -- I mean flavour -- for all brands here.
softspokensatan
i think its called all spice its like a canadian spice for chips and that shit slaps its so good
iosej
That's "all dressed" and they're different from ketchup and they're both really good
softspokensatan
yes!!! that one
Whitebeardthepirate
it's unfortunately simple. the election boils down to this: side 1 is, we want a free equal society that everyone can live and enjoy life safely without fear of oppression, bigotry, hatred, and greed vs side 2 which is: HATE EVERYTHING THAT'S NOT US! GUNS TO INFLATE MY EGO! LET THE WEAK GET CULLED AND ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE! AND WE'LL MURDER ANYONE THAT DOESN'T THINK THE WAY WE DO!
Seanspeed
Except they dont even really believe in the whole 'only the strong survive' thing. Poor Republicans fucking love the social welfare state. Their main objection is that people with darker skin colors get to take advantage of it as well. And they're MAD AS HELL about that.
MrSilverDragon
To make it overly simplistic, it's "let's make the world a better place" vs "F**K YOU I GOT MINE".
Seanspeed
Except lots of them haven't 'got theirs'. They're still on the bottom rung of society, they're just racist and want to be above dark skinned people.
MrSilverDragon
Their racism is their thing, it's what they got, and the likelihood they'll give that up is slim at best.
Whitebeardthepirate
quite so. Thank you. that's a good summarization. upvote to you.
Saker82
Or, in simpler terms. A.) Everyone is free to live how they wish. Versus B.) Everyone is free to live exactly how I say.
Seanspeed
I cant quite go along with this. Liberals/progressives still do want to 'dictate' how people are supposed to live to some degree as well. But this just means like, 'dont be a shitbag or racist or whatever'. This upsets Republicans.
gnomeling
There's a guy I talk to at work that talks about how both sides are crazy. And I'm always like one side is crazy for basic human rights and the other a totalitarian hellscape. I'm pretty fine with one of those "crazies".
ValidGirthCertificate
Is it the hellscape?
Mustakraken
One side wants the system to work for the people, the other side wants it to work for themselves individually. When you consider the GOP as a bunch of myopic exclusively self interested parties convinced that they each will get what they want, even if those visions don't align, and most of them want to hurt some minority group more than they want a better life, the sum of their actions make sense. A grotesque, sad, angry, poisoned sense, but it does all fit.
RefurbishedArcReactor
"Okay, if both sides are the same, can you just vote D next time? Won't matter to you, but it will to me."
OMFGWhatHaveWeDONE
drochleprechaun
One side wants to give us basic human rights as it enables corporations to slowly kill us. The other side wants to take away rights for everyone but them and enable corporations to quickly kill us. Neither is a good option, but one option is a hell of a lot better.
Mehtoes
Scaramucci
bunnyrut
I used to think that both sides were equally bad. But then I got older and realized one side spends all their time trying to strip people of their basic human rights, thus trying to undo everything the other side is trying to do. Instead of working FOR the people they are working AGAINST the other party. That's their whole MO. That's not a party I want in charge of anything.
MajorasTerribleFate
(Not disagreeing with you) If my choices were obstructionists who couldn't make any positive change vs. rights-stripping authoritarians hell bent on reducing this country to a christofascist land locked into unchangeable rule by one sex and skin tone, I would choose the obstructionists. But, of course, that isn't what we have; the christofascists *are* the obstructionists, and the other side would pretty much win me by default even if they weren't (mostly) trying to actively make things better.
FlippedOut
Fucking need that ranked choice voting.
ravnicrasol
That's the goal. The way they pull it off is by picking out crazies on the left and putting them front and center in right-wing news.
varesya
Or people who aren't even crazy, but Fox/etc distorts everything they say and tells you that they're secretly Maoist Atheist Muslim Communists that want to sacrifice your dog to the ghost of Joseph Stalin. You know, the kind of shit they did with Obama, where everything he did was suddenly a scandal on Fox - tan suits, dijon mustard, etc.
idownvoteplottwist
but have you seen how some of them dye their hair unnatural colors and defy gender norms
jamesx
Making no@choice means the side you least want may win.
Rubblebubble
The problem is enthusiasm. I live in MI in a city with a huge Arab American population. With the way Biden has handled the shit in Gaza I certainly can't blame any of my neighbors for not wanting to vote for him. Everyone knows Trump will be worse, but Biden/Dems don't offer a reason to vote for them besides that Trump would be worse. So lots of people will just not vote, because they feel like they get screwed either way.
Scaramucci
I like to use the analogy that one of them is like plain toast and the other one is actual shit. If you have this choice for dinner you'll go for the toast even if you're tired of having it.
CrusherOfCities
Like any bell curve, there's no shortage of crazies on the left side, either, if you actually go looking for them. But an important distinction is that the left's extremists have virtually no power among the Democrats, who have essentially become the "Everyone Not MAGA" party covering everything from center-right to extreme left. Meanwhile the Right's most egregious nutjobs have a stranglehold on primaries and have very real influence on national policy and the party platform.
bdesign7
Honest question, who are the crazies on the left?
TheGek0h
Center-Right Billionaires who own both parties say everything is working just fine.
Telleryn
even if they're both crazy, one side is like the weird guy you see on a bus kinda crazy, while the other is the has 50 guns and collects women's internal organs in jars kinda crazy
SithElephant
You just hate jars.
Beezlebubble
That's literally the gun guys counter argument.
ThatShiftyMonkey
Now we cant even own jars?!1 We just have to walk around with handfuls of jam? That's the future you want, groomer! Pry my jars form my cold dead hands!
alpacasaurusrex
Have you seen the guy with the jar? Everyone hates jars. I bet he sure does. Or did. Idk if he died or not.
autodidacticcortex
The less crazy side is still sending billions to blow up Palestinians. You BAU apologists are gross.
IrrelevantHandle
One crazy is lightly scolding the genocide of Palestinian civilians and the other is calling for an ethnic cleansing. Neither is the good guy but you have to choose one or the other.
RaithiosDarksun
Business as usual means the crushing machine can at least be debated on weather it kills us or makes us really uncomfortable,AND I REALLY WISH THIS WAS STILL HYPERBOLE BUT MAGAGOP SEEMS INTENT IN MAKING IT REAL.
Bau equals currently::
Womans right to choose
Betterish steps in civil rights vs goin bavk to the "good ol days"
Better wageslave living and assistance programs.
Bau was at least slow progress to catching up to other 1st world countries.
elusivekarma
There is a real schism in the democratic party on this issue, but even those who support Israel are WAY better than the GOP. The Israel supporting Dems are like, "can we kill a few less civilians?" And the GOP is like, "blow em all to hell".
I wish more Dems were fighting to protect the Palestinians, but the GOP would be FAR worse.
alpacasaurusrex
If a GQP was in power they’d just blanket bomb the country tbh. They’d cook up some shitty 9/11 scenario again & find a reason to do it.
koboldesq
You have no fundamental understanding of how first past the post voting works.
Madalchemist2018
Big brain centrist: Then change that. Ha!!
Functioning Brain: Only 1 party is remotely in support of that I guess I should vote for them.
Big brian: No not like that!!!
JodyBird
What's a bau?
fruitbatstv
Not much, what's a bau with you?
100KushUps
Not the commenter, but Business As Usual.
DoomSquirter
at some point 10+ years ago, I can almost see why ppl would think that. ppl just aren't aware anymore how great the divide is now.
Rubblebubble
I think they are, I certainly am. I'd say both are bad but in largely different ways. The GOP is objectively terrible and must be stopped. The (mainstream) Dems are too friendly with corps and unwilling to take the steps that are necessary at this point. Just look at Biden, he said he'd Veto any Medicare for all bill that came to his desk. His admin has done some good for climate change, but also have enabled additional fossil fuels drilling even in sensitive environments like the arctic.
DoomSquirter
oh yeah, that divide is still there but I guess my point is that you're choosing between a douche and a turd but the turd has a fascist army behind it and it's going to kill the entire poop knife coalition. I'll choose a douche every time hands down in that case cause I wouldn't be able to live w/o a poop knife in california where everything's low flow.
Rubblebubble
Total agreement. One side is actively working to make things terrible, the other is trying to keep things the same-ish (things are currently bad). I don't like either but the one isn't nearly as bad as the other. That said, we need politicians/parties that are actually working to make things good instead.
DoomSquirter
first season of designated survivor is really good and hopeful. the other seasons devolved into trying too hard to make you feel all warm and fuzzy, but they do give a glimpse of what a independant in charge would be like. Beholden to no party and just trying to do what's right but the part they gloss over is that there are still the other parties actively going to block everything you do which is what would probably happen if bernie ever gets elected or someone like him. makes me sad.
Violaquin
-frothing at the mouth- YOU’RE GONNA TAKE THIS SINGLE-PAYER HEALTHCARE AND YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT!!!!
Blimjoe
It puts the corporate kickbacks in the basket or else it gets the socialism again
sfrinlan
Noooo what will I do without crippling medical debt. Auuuggghjjj
Kimona007
Probably this
OctopusGrift
Which party is for single payer?
ProbablyWrong524
Like two or three members of the Democratic party, and Bernie. So really neither.
Rubblebubble
Biden has straight up said he'd Veto a Medicare for all bill if it came to his desk "because of the costs"
ProbablyWrong524
I dislike the overuse of the "Medicare for all" terminology because it conflates the idea of "some form of single-payer healthcare system" with "the expansion of Medicare as it exists today," and that's just not an accurate representation of the options. It's too easy to make a straw man out of "Medicare for all."
bathtubdronestrike
Stupid libs will never have a clean colon like I do. -republicans
AnyRandomBob
Idk man. Those guys seem full of shit
YoMammaTheLlama
This argument makes too much sense for a republican to actually use it.
sfrinlan
"Doctors say I've got the cleanest colon. You could, they've literally said this to me, you could eat out of my colon. In fact, a woman offered me once, you may have heard of her, from Georgia, nice woman, a little crazy, some people like her, she's on my side, she offered once to eat out of my colon just to test it"
JaimePearson
This sounds 100% like something the orange guy would say, verbatim.
sfrinlan
Thanks, it hurt me to type it. I've found the trick is to use an unnecessary number of asides.
MrBassoonBro
Yeah, only thing that put me off was getting to the point at the end.
truthader
sfrinlan
Sounds about right then
3lda002
I read this in his voice 🤢 +1 well done
ThatTransformersDude
One day, I'm gonna own this toilet, but I'm happy to pay a premium to take a shit each time, even though I need help from online donations because I can't afford it and my colon is ripping itself apart. And no, I'm not calling it socialism and it's certainly the type of help and compassion I deny others.
Gayforbae
(It will never be clean