wenturi
292077
9211
238
Sweet mother of god....
Nov 6, 2017 10:33 AM
wenturi
292077
9211
238
ICallOPFaggotOutaRespect
"Wreak havoc and let loose the hogs of war"
kentleigh
Even the Jack of all trades one was misquoted it's actually "though oftentimes better than master of one", no absolute statement there.
CuriosityDidNotKillTheCatItWasMe
My username is relevant!
TresusIbor
Last time this was posted, I'm pretty sure it was shown to be bullshit.
scottEkarate
"Whoa, not even close"- Roman subcontractor after one day on the job
TheJudgeHasItBackwards
*slave. Well I guess it's sort of a subcontract, with super shitty terms.
teawithputin
they don't think it be like it is, but it do
papachabre
donkeydickinyomouth
The early bird gets the worm but the early worm gets dead
kazulstrut
The early bird may get the worm, but the SECOND mouse gets the cheese.
notimporant
I feel like these were made up on the spot and weren't at all the official full version, and instead are projections of their beliefs
notimporant
For example, the blood is thicker than water one, just because it's in fancy words doesn't mean it's right, yet for most that's how it is
notimporant
They believe it because it's all "fancy" and "wise" yet it's literally just someone with one belief and the power to string fancy sentences
Kcinlive
"Fortune favors the Bold, but so does Death." - Completely made up the 2nd half.
OGsatan
You're on your way to making a great tumblr post
GodEmperor0fMankind
The early bird one actually kind of discourages living excitedly. "Hey wait for somebody else to try something bold, then when they fail,
plumheart2
I think it's more of a reminder to use your judgement -- in some situations, it's better to be the go-get-em early bird, but in others
plumheart2
it's better to be the cautious second mouse.
GodEmperor0fMankind
swoop in and steal their success without exerting any real effort."
Toqom
Bill Gates!
guardianofthegalaxy
Most of these are fake as shit
izzmonster
Source?
Snooj
His shit, apparently.
guardianofthegalaxy
Don't really have the time to find it but this has been posted multiple times here and usually every one gets disproven
PotassiumRegulatoryCommittee
Suckinf at something is the first step to being pretty good at something
IGoInCanadaDry
"Ya gotta be shitty to get better" - Goon (2011)
flail
You're on your way to type-free commenting!
flail
Also, Muphry's law always applies. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muphry%27s_law
IndigoCatalyst
"Good things come to those who wait, but only those things left by those who hustle." -No definitive source. Some variations exist.
guardianofthegalaxy
"you got my sloppy seconds bitch "
BarretXIII
Good things come to those who wait, but quicker yet to those who take
countbassy
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, can’t get fooled again. G. Bush
TachyonCode
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I'll punch you in the dick.
SirCasemIII
I heard the reason for that quote was that midway through Bush didn't want the media to have a clip of him saying "Shame on me"
SmokinBirdie425
Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me chicken soup with rice
TheJudgeHasItBackwards
Oh W. I miss the decider. Even though he started a never ending war and was generally not a great leader, he meant well.
countbassy
Just a pot-smokin’, coke- snortin’, beer drinkin’ frat boy
magichal
Never thought I'd miss W. But now . . .
TarotCardJesus
"Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."
TachyonCode
"The love of money is the root of all evil."
etcnotect
"The love of money is the root of many evils"
WellThatsOriginal
Ask not what imgur can do for you. Ask why imgur takes away bikini pics.
dafuqsthat
I hate when people say "money is the root of all evil", It's actually , the love of money , not money itself.
[deleted]
[deleted]
AFelineMassofEyes
It makes a loophole they can use to split hairs over the definition of "love of money."
SavageTacoSupremeOverlord
I don't know, man....one time a five dollar bill tried to stab me and use me as a sacrifice in some illuminati cult.
Iloveanonymityandilovebeingnoticed
And it's all *kinds* of evil, not ALL evil.
vorodar
Nah, man, you are trying to read too much into this - it's literally true: if you bury some money, you will get a crop of evil.
Logan9Fingers
"You can never have too many knives"...
wenturi
"Unless they're pointed at you, and by people who don't like you much. ”
BurtTurglar
wenturi
Loved the series, just re-read them. (All 6 books). Shame there isnt a standalone book on Glokta.
Atlasraven
unless you get into a gun fight.
Logan9Fingers
Thats fine. But what if i come to the gunfight in a tank? WHAT THEN HUH?!!
FIDLAR
Get two birds stoned at once
IIIHalezIII
better late than never..
TheNamiKage
"Heaven has no rage like a love to hatred turned, nor hell the fury of a woman scorned." William congreve, not sure of where and when thoug
TachyonCode
So, heaven does have rage, huh? Then I guess it must also have ragequits.
Fishworshipper
I mean, have you read anything in the Old Testament? I think rage might have been all there was.
CorvusBelli
It's from the "The Mourning Bride", Act III, Scene II (1697).
JesClown
Satisfaction is necromancery?
Phobetor42
The darker and edgier My Little Pony spin-off
SnugglyBurrick
Snooj
No, that's Friendship is Witchcraft.
MetroidJunkie
You know the penalty for Witchcraft. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIY41LrvMFQ
lordofthedice
DrSpatula
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana."
FaustianRevelation
Things Smite taught me #1. Thank you, God of Time.
Winterous
I've seen your death it was painful!
FIDLAR
That’s fantastic
RichardEnormous
Times arrow marches on.
HanktheHeliotropeShank
10/10
whogivesadarn
Thank you Chronos.
vorodar
So...like a scale? I see, this is to remind us of weight, and thus gravity. So, basically the second part is "What goes up must go down".
MikeofLA
This is a language exercise. It can be read to mean many different things.
AltEff4
I think the joke is that they're fruit flies, the insect. Thus, they like bananas.
vorodar
I know. My joke was misinterpreting it into a different saying.
AltEff4
Oh, sorry
javer80
Is that Groucho? It feels like Groucho.
tallquasi
I've always seen it attributed to him.
Katalliaan
Terry Pratchett.
Mortuos
I wouldn't be even slightly surprised.
Technohawk
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Absinthe makes the fart grow stronger.
PraiseChthulu33
Absence makes the body wonder
ArchSchnitz
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but familiarity breeds contempt.
Sm00th615
Better to burp it and taste it than fart it and waste it - my uncle
TheDudeanator
No, it's "better to Fart and taste than to burp and waste it" you know it's a good fart when you can taste it.
Sm00th615
Oh that's rank
Stevefromaccounting
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger
postbluex
this made me laugh so hard it helped my shit come out +1
ItsaLoonie
Grandma when she burped - "excuse me excuse me, from the bottom.of my heart, if it came out the other end, it'd of been a dart."
Brionyrae
Absolut Vodka fucks you up absolutely
WhatTheDormouseSaid
Omg soo true
Snarkoleptic
There is no correlation between the green fairy and unexpectedly raucous tooting. I have plenty of experience with both
mrorange1750
Outstanding
HelpImInABox
"Abstinence makes the dick grow harder" - my gf
mand1nga
is this the full version?
12345545545
. . . but familiarity breeds contempt.
potatopotatotomatotomat0
definitely
Mediumtim
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, abstinence makes the arm grow stronger"
mand1nga
rofl
apercent
Tbh most of these were made up after the original phrase was
norill
this is how memes work, they evolve
thehammerismypenis
Yeah, I know Blood is Thicker than Water is the full original saying. The other b.s. was added later
Trvekvltarsehole
Especially the "Birds of a feather flock together". It's about the company people keep being a reflection on their true character.
izzmonster
Source?
HumbleAnon
Jack of all trades was first used in "Essays and Characters of a Prison" by English writer Geffray Mynshul, published 1612. And 1/2
HumbleAnon
"Master of none" wasn't even added until roughly one hundred years later. I'm sure misty of the other phrases follow the same pattern. 2/2
HumbleAnon
For example, "but fools rarely differ" was more often than not a retort than a part of the original saying.
apercent
My man
darkdragonempress
Not sure got truer, but the blood of the covenant was around Roman era.
torsen8
A lot of these sound like typical tumblr BS. Call me cynical, but I'm gonna need to see some sources before believing...
Rexli78
Phrases and proverbs change all the time. Sometimes things are added sometimes they're dropped. Sometimes they're flat out wrong, like the
Rexli78
space pen. Everybody knows that story but few know that the reason we don't use pencils in space craft is because they kept starting fires.
torsen8
I agree that phrases change. Language changes all the time. While I may not always like the minutia ofnthose changes (i still cringe at 1/?
torsen8
Selfie being word of the year), I don't have an issue with the phenomenon of change. It's necessary as the world around us changes. What 2/?
torsen8
I really dislike is the whole tumblr holier-than-thou, "you're all such morons" smugness. It's OK if you make stuff up. That's how these 3/?
Stevefromaccounting
Ive checked, theyre pretty much all wrong
36roentgen
Thanks Steve, nothing gets by you accountants.
FireRoastedFire
Then you didn't check very well. Found sources for quite a few of these. Not the birds, but the rest are accurate.
DearestOverlord
.
GearDeath
Maybe don't base your life off un-sourced quotes.
TheGriffin
Where's the fun in that
GearDeath
*buro78?
JayRedish
"Curiosity killed the cat", "Great minds think alike," and "Jack of all trades" are correct. The rest are new inventions.
Emracruel
I haven't found the cat one but I can definitely agree on the other two based on perusal of internet things.
JayRedish
I just checked and it originally was a line in Shakespeare but when it was added to the English lexicon in 1905 it had the satisfaction bit.
Resurrectionist
It all is. At best some of them are lines that were added decades or centuries after the original phrase.
CaptainHedgeHog
I got downvoted to oblivion when I said that about the blood one. I even have sources.
Randomgamerdude
For example, the German phrase places importance on family, while the (or a similar) Arabic phrase places importance on friends/allies.
Randomgamerdude
However, the blood one is the only one that's ever called out as untrue, whenever this is reposted.
Randomgamerdude
Some sources suggest that while it never EXPLICITLY states "blood of the covenant...", that's what it can be taken to mean.
CaptainHedgeHog
Yeh i know that its implied, but its never actually said like most people claim.
SonicBoomYourFamily
Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.
ArgonSpark
TachyonCode
The *love* of money is the root of all evil :P
Iloveanonymityandilovebeingnoticed
All *kinds of evil.
b00mtown
igotthatreference.gif
NuriInuki
Michelangelo! Turtle power!
batalanah
I wish I could upvote this more than once.
misterjedi
turtle power bro!
gonzar09
https://m.imgur.com/ci9mK1o
dontforgetyourtowel42
Any time i say to my husband "Nice night." He replies ,"Yup Pizza dude's got 30 seconds."
meatshake001
I always loved this exchange. A guy that hates expressing emotion talking with his friend he knows loves to.
DukeDarkwood
And I thought I worked everywhere...
meatshake001
“And I thought I delivered everywhere!”
carnivalcocker
“I gotta get a new route.”
CrowAndTomServoAreMyCats
I said this at work the other day and my younger colleagues just about shit i knew this. Are you kidding? This was my era! 37yo here... :)
SonicBoomYourFamily
Hell yes, the first TMNT movie was aimed DIRECTLY at you.
CrowAndTomServoAreMyCats
I remember begging my Mom to let my brother and i stay up so we could watch Barbara Walters interview the Turtles. Highlight of my youth!
WorkerLurker
Larry Lam (Leonardo) had a martial arts studio next to my favorite pizza place
TheHorseShesElbowDeepIn
Knowledge is power. France is bacon.
SiriusWolf
Let's get this frog in the bird.
stillfiguringout
TheHaloFollower
umyuartuli
Bacon is the way, Bacon is the truth. - Oberon
dagg3r
Yes
claydhd14
WowItsNotTaken
Ah, I reference I understand :)
MelodiousDissonance
Gorzine
En effet http://www.stargate-fusion.com/images/alaune/sg-1-s4-tealc-sv.jpg
RandAIFlagg
Indeed.
grootybooty
i love that story!
spectheintro
This is the best kind of reference.
professionallazyperson
*nods knowingly*
TreeBarked
ImGurren
okay, you got me.
MaxweIIhaus
Correct.
lynkyra
- Benjamin Franklin
QueefMalone
Never for get this.
ImKimJongUnAndEverythingIsFine
cravenmoorhead
Went to France once... Can confirm. Is bacon.
OtroBarry
I was just in France I didn't get any fukn bacon
KillaWhaleWithTail
That bacon girl
36roentgen
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
ChuckSexylust
Knowledge is power, guard it well.
ComTruice
Had to scroll down just to see if someone finished it correctly. +1
MasterBryan
Kev In Bacon.
VitusApollo
*Kiev in bacon.
TwoDogsInABathtub
Since people are asking: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/france-is-bacon
LlornDeIcamole
U R da da mvp!!
lordofthedice
Francis Bacon?
TwoDogsInABathtub
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/france-is-bacon
OneFroToRuleThemAll
That is indeed the joke, yes
chewSWAcca
Now that’s a reference I️ haven’t heard in a long time.....long time
dargaribdus
Obi-wan?
Killrapture
Jesus that’s a reference I just saw today
TheAmazingPencil
I knew it since the day my neighbor broke both his arms.
Skarred666
That's a reference I've seen a lot
Devante
EnterTheMongoose
I watched this gif repeat a few times just for Ron's face.
TheCausticCynic
I've always wondered what show this is. Seen so many different hilarious gifs from it. I think it's time I watch it
oddoregano
You will not be disappointed
Devante
Imgur is the exact reason I watched it finally. It's now my second favorite show behind Friends.
Devante
(Parks and Rec, by the way)
TheCausticCynic
Okay, thanks. Guess I'll finally check it out then
NuriInuki
IAintCheatin
Explain pls
VaticanCameozz
The maker of the quote is Francis bacon and a child who was told the quote thought the last part was ‘France is bacon’ and was confused 1/2
VaticanCameozz
His whole life until someone wrote it down
ronkooby
Vyole
.
LegoGunsandGames
I don’t
TossSomeBillsToYourStripper
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/632/233/315.jpg
Munnin41
Theres probably some people that don't know it
FIDLAR
The point is that pointing out you understand something is fucking stupid. Unless you have something worthwhile to contribute
KezzaLFC17
I followed this thread hoping someone would explain the reference.
lordofthedice
It does let others know that there is a context they might be missing.
WellAckchually
Something worthwhile to contribute? Where the hell do you think you are?
Grudgebearingmidget
Except 'I got that reference' points out theres a double meaning some of us may be missing.
tankboy
Except in wartime when France is toast.
dzzah
Such an underrated post. Have an upvote
csneon2000
Mmmmm toast
TheBlackVan
gsmdo
I wonder what irks Americans more - that France refused to go to war with them, or that history has proved their decision to be correct...
Elconquesodor
The references to France often refer to their surrender to the Germans in WW2, hence the old adage 'cheese-eating, surrender monkeys'
Gonz000
I dunno...youve done the Google search for "French victories" right? Always gives me a chuckle
formerprosecutor
http://l7.alamy.com/zooms/63e690b237fd4733b1cf9538073bf5b1/uncle-sam-bjh53e.jpg
formerprosecutor
As the official spokesperson for all Americans, I need you to clarify and I will respond
Tzanax
France initially refused to invade Iraq with the United States. The US threatened to rename French fries to freedom fries. The French folded
formerprosecutor
Official response: Neither, really. We give bonus points to the people who joined us for Iraq, but we don't resent holdouts after we 1/2
formerprosecutor
about WWII 3/2
formerprosecutor
didn't find any WMD's. The fact that the French were right is a non-starter to Americans; they will instantly reply w/ something vague 2/2