When you tell your players to learn their spells

Sep 22, 2017 8:02 PM

ZZhillTopper

Views

217633

Likes

5507

Dislikes

118

In the interest of fairness: magic is just an immense pain in the fucking ass if you're not a spontaneous caster.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have a player who regularly does this and it drives me insane

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

been playing RPGs since 1984. This has always been so true... There is always that one player..

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Just gonna save this for my players.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Soll use this for my friends for "look what the fuck 97% of the climate scientists are saying"

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This shit had me rolling when I first saw it.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Floyd Mayweather, 1983, colorized.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

folder[D&D]

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"There's some powerful niggatry at work here."

8 years ago | Likes 315 Dislikes 3

v

8 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

WHAT'S GOOD NYIGGUH!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Got some of those DnD 5e spell cards... I can never go back to anything else.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have everything ready for DnD, I understand some of it, but not all. I have nobody that plays it in my small town, and really want to play

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Roll20. Find a group of strangers online

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I wouldn't exactly call them people, but I have deep distaste for the negro.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The mage, wizard, druid, or Bard take 10 minutes and gets no complaint. The rogue takes 30 seconds and gets told to hurry up.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

That's because we all know he's gonna sneak attack, he just needs to hurry up and pick the damn target.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

^exactly. And by doing that the rogue gets in the way of all the wizard/Druid/sorc's spells and they have to rethink their turn....again.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is this 50 cent and Floyd Mayweather?

8 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 1

Is the photoshopped book a pen/paper rpg game like D&D?

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

It's the D&D 5th Edition Players Handbook

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Praise White Jesus!

8 years ago | Likes 185 Dislikes 3

PRAAAISE WHITE GAWD!

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I mean at least bring some spell cards for Pelor's sake...

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I hate when the DM makes a Ruckus.

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Best Comment

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

In one group I'm in we have a rogue who doesn't use ANY of her shit, just attacks with a bow (no sneak attack, no cunning action). MRW...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh geezes, Campaign I'm dming is about to start in 2 days. I'm really scared some in my group are like that...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It wouldn't be so bad but she yells at me and gets really defensive if I try to help her. Whelp. I don't heal her anymore.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh damn that's the worst. not only are they unclear of what to do they are also willfully ignorant and takes all help as an attack on them

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm

8 years ago | Likes 87 Dislikes 3

My favorite spell!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is this boondocks?

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Looks like it, but I don't remember this part

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I feel like Marisha needs to be tagged, here.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I got this reference! Sometimes is a little frustrating but I love keylith

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Have DM'd and played multiple campaigns, can ABSOLUTELY confirm.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not enough Boondocks on here +1

8 years ago | Likes 197 Dislikes 6

I was so sad when they got rid of Boondocks last year :(

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

It's on Hulu

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank White Jesus for Hulu

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I know...I know...https://media.giphy.com/media/13U0IpjVSMKZDa/giphy.gif

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

This gif was especially fitting

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I know :)

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 383 Dislikes 5

50 shades of grey

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What is this from?

8 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 1

Boondocks. First three seasons are gold, season four is largely viewed as a flop

8 years ago | Likes 79 Dislikes 3

Wasn't it that the main writer/director wasn't in charge that season?

8 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

Yup. Aaron McGruder, the creator and head writer, left to work on new projects like Black Jesus.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Often the case. Writers are always undervalued by producers in this kinda thing.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

The Boondocks.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Netflix? HBO?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Not anymore and no. Not sure about other streaming services, but I know the website cartooncrazy has it

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hulu

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlKL_EpnSp8

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I would give you so many up votes...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

there it is

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was hoping this would be here thank you

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Quite possibly the most underrated show ever

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 4

Eh, it won a Peabody once, among several other more obscure awards. Hardly "cult" status and solidly mainstream.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

not really. it's slightly niche but is pretty damn famous, internationally even. Not gonna argue the most, but Venture Bros is a contender.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

'Nah it's fine I'll just look up all my spells in the middle of combat'

8 years ago | Likes 1127 Dislikes 3

Hethen

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As a fighter who multi-classed into cleric, I am guilty of this. However, people only except me to tank hits.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Keep this at 666 upvote

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I'll skim the description and just assume the spell works as I want it to*

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Im gonna be a chaotic neutral and be completely unhelpful to the team"

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

cannot stress how annoying that experience is, as a player or as a dm.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ive never played dnd but i hear this complaint all the time

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Roll20 man, keeps track of everything. Click on a spell, it asks you what level to cast it at (if applicable), and boom, it's done

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

that's IF you do your reading and fill it all out first. not all of the spells are in the compendium for some inane reason.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As my GM said. "You have 30 seconds to do your entire turn. You're not done reading your spells? Your character does nothing this round."

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I've had people with their noses in their phones, waiting for their turn to come, and then sit there like "so what are we hitting?"

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Then they are either not invested in playing and that means they shouldn't play. Or they are uninterested in the story that's on the GM.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

PDF version of the book is awesome.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I do that all the time

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I got banned from /r/blackpeopletwitter for quoting the boondocks

8 years ago | Likes 344 Dislikes 10

Wasn't the Boondocks created by a black person?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hmm I'm suspicious because black people love boondock and are fairly ok with racist jokes. What did you really do?

8 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 2

No I literally quoted the boondocks. I can go dig up the message saying you're banned if you really don't believe me

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Maybe because he only likes to quote Uncle Ruckus.

8 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

Maybe he told them he was white before telling the joke. BAM, suddenly less ok with racist jokes...

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 4

Maybe since white ppl have a long history of abusing black ppl, they get suspicious of a white kid's intentions when he says racist shit

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Punching up vs punching down

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 7

more like punching sideways vs punching down but yeah

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But who starts a conversation with I'm white

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Who said this was at the beginning?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

ummm...

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

guilty.....

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Me too

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Shouldn't that count against you in a fight? I think if I were a DM I'd punish players for doing that.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

I've started to have a 30 second decision window. If you don't at least declare what you're going to do within 30 secs, you lose your turn.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Flash cards.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

If I get bored waiting for a player, I move on to the next person's turn. If reader isn't ready before their next initiative, lose turn.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

This is why I stick to non-magic characters

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

much simpler choices, do i hit it with the stabby thing or the smashy thing?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Exactly, my main character is a rogue pirate. Main choices consist of what guy to stab or how to mount the monster

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I play a monk and never even have to deal with armor or weapons.

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I played a monk not too long ago and had a “fury of blows” move, man does that move do some work

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Monks are BAMFs. Right up there with Barbarians in terms of meelee damage.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Funny. One player recently played barb and was disappointed with the DPS. Granted, he was bear totem built as a tank not a heavy hitter

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They're weaker at tanking melee hits, although between evasion, deflect missiles and various immunities that's all they have to worry about.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I go for notes myself "It does this and it's on this page". Cuz let me tell you, I am NOT memorizing every goddamn feature of all 27 spells.

8 years ago | Likes 96 Dislikes 3

Do you just yell and scream as a Barbarian? I imagine that's what they usually do as they go on a killing spree.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Nah, positioning is key for melee.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Play enough wizards and you will whether you notice or not.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Eh, I'm fairly good but even then ranges and spell components are things I've got to dig out of the books.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Got them all in an excel sheet. Can instantly sort by name, casting time, level, school, etc.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

That's fine, I just don't like an extra half hour wasted per combat round while wizards look up what they can do..

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Make them write up a list that looks like this: Firebreath (1/2 level) d6 30' cone. Core Rulebook pg 256.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

1 spell level per sheet (if it all fits on one page), with page number and mechanical effects. Paperclips to represent memorized spells

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Spell cards are the way to go bro.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I just have it all hyperlinked to PRD versions which are also helpfully kept up to date with errata. Not offline workable, but quick.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

One of my players let me look over his sheet once...he doesn't copy the mechanical effect of anything. He just remembers the idea and 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Looks up what they do mechanically every single time. I printed spell cards for him just to speed it up

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

...all 27 spells? hahahahahahahaha

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I'm only level 2 atm. I've done the "shit, what can I cast in silence" with 50+ spell spontaneous casters before. You CAN'T memorize 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

many spells down to that level of detail. Only keep helpful notes and dig for the actual spell when it comes up. 2/2

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

That example is really easy, since there are only 24 spells in all published material as of XGtE that don't have verbal components.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's fine to clarify a range or effect but looking up the whole. DAMN. THING!

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

One time as a DM I listed all the spells for our group's Necromancer with links to d20PFSRD.com for every possible spell and clarified the..

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

amount of spells he could have for each spell level as he leveled up to 2nd level between sessions (they got enough XP in the last fight...

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

of the previous session). I sent him the info, links and how to do it properly for the next session so we can start immediately the game.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Surprise, surprise! He shows up with nothing done, and then starts to ask what he should do, and not like even straight asking but in a...

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0