From scratch.

Apr 6, 2024 4:34 PM

dickwitfo

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40666

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962

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49

Coffee for the pretentious asshole in your life...

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They omitted the twenty minutes they spent looking for the cap they casually flicked off.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I want to have this kind of video, but at the end, they reveal that the coffee powder was cheap as shit instant coffee. Just to see the coffee afficionados lose their minds.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Coffee porn

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

or the money….

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 328 Dislikes 1

Cascabel and The Data Dome

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It’s beautiful and I’m sure it tasted heavenly
But my coffee is pretty damn good
Only takes a few minutes to perk, brew & clean up & I’m such a happy camper

2 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

There's definitely a reward:effort drop-off once you get to a certain level. I've decided that (without evidence) grinding my own beans is worth my time, but I can recognize that others don't find it worthwhile, and that's okay. Pre-ground coffee is probably superior to the stuff my ex used to make with the spice grinder.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you want to make a cup of coffee from scratch, you must first create the universe.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I had a guy who worked for me that always wanted the most expensive coffee beans for the station. He would then add a 1/2 cup of flavored bullshit

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Over engineered yet the least processed form of coffee.

2 years ago | Likes 214 Dislikes 0

Buddy of mine doesn't roast, but does the rest. I asked why, he said that he needs to take breaks (WFH) and this forces him to do it.

2 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 1

This one isn't very adjustable or user friendly. There's cheaper ones out there that control the heat much better. 1/

2 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

This one is good for places where you don't have power, I guess.

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I roast mine outside. the smoke smell that gets in the house doesn't go away easily

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Have to have a suppression system-- a hood vent helps, but you have to have it up pretty high. Smaller batches shouldn't have too much coming off them, unless you take it pretty dark.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

German sex is weird.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Depends on the German at the end of the day. I imagine they find the US's prudishness weird as well.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is all that really necessary to make chocolate milk?

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Well, times are hard and you can grow cocoa beans in the backyard. Makes sense to me.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

And after all that it still tastes like hot, bitter, ditch water.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Only if you did it wrong! High quality beans, a good roast, and attention to detail can produce a fruit forward cup that is pleasantly nuanced. That said, coffee isn't for everyone. If you're buying from a supermarket, you're set up for a bitter cup.

Buy local, get a scale and use a good ratio (1part coffee to 15-18 parts Water), right temp (195-205F) and right grind size (impacts time and what is extracted) and you can produce a reasonable cup from most beans!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Believe me, people I know have had me try a lot of coffee. From local roasters, kopi luwak, Ethiopian habesha ceremony and more. My old boss was a coffee enthusiast and had me try multiple times. I can taste differences, sure, but the problem is that the base coffee taste is just awful.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ah, Folgers

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

Good for the first drop

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fuck yeah, squeeze that bean juice

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Put green coffee beans in your popcorn air popper, but do so outside as the aroma can be intense indoors. Great way to roast coffee beans.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Can I put strawberry flavoured vanilla syrup in it now?

2 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 2

Only if you cultivate your own strawberry and vanilla and do everything yourself

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

That’s a lot of work. My Keurig is a lot quicker AND it’s helping ruin the planet.

2 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 4

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Shittier coffee and single-use plastic. What’s not to like?

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Those reusable keurig pods aren't hard to come by. I use them every day and fill them with a coffee of my choice.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I love it. What is this gorgeous kit?

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The espresso press at least looks like a Flair, not sure about the others

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Gimme tea. I grow mint in my yard and make tea from that. Delicious.

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Seems like s lot of work when there’s a 7-11 that sells coffee right down the street

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

bro probably collects and plays warhammer 40k as well

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

From scratch? From scratch?! If you ain't growing your coffee trees, gathering the beans, putting them to dry and then removing the outer layers, are you really doing it from scratch Mr. Expensive-fancy- pants-manual-espresso-machine!

2 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

"If you want to make a [coffee] from scratch you must invent the universe" - Carl Sagan

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I do have a Kona coffee tree though, lol. We've gotten like... 12 beans off of it in the three years we've had it.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If you want to make coffee from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Those are actually on par with Delonghi in terms of price. They're just manual. The Delonghi's I've used are kinda garbo though.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's a flair Espresso maker which costs around $330

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm well aware.

Flair Pro 2 ($325): https://flairespresso.com/product/pro-2/

Mid range Delonghi ($399): https://www.pansgear.com/product/delonghi
-magnifica-evo-espresso-machine-with-lattecrema-system/

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm pretty bad with formatting. $500 is a mid tier home espresso machine. Expect to pay over a grand for something that produces anything close to a cafe unit. Cafe units retail (for a cheap plasticy one) at $6000, up to $35000+ for truly premium builds.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Look at this poser with his pre-dried beans. It's not real coffee unless you dry them yourself, from the tree you grew from a seed yourself, from the strain of coffee tree that you selectively bred yourself, from the ....

2 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 1

Fermenting plays a big role

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Naw..real amazing coffee comes from the butts of weasels. It's pretty tasty and a bit musky.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Cultivar, not strain. C'mon man. Look at this poser pretending he knows.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I'm not a coffee snob, but growing and roasting coffee sounds like a lot of fun. I'm currently waiting for our apple tree to start producing. It's been about 3 years and they usually start around 5.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I've always wondered what the coffee fruit tastes like. That would be another fun bonus of growing yourself.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Same. Knowing people chewed it before we all started brewing it, I assume it wasn't horrible.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This pro version of the bean roaster can speed that step up immensely

2 years ago | Likes 282 Dislikes 2

But would this be a "oopsie daisy" or a "bruh" moment?

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just make sure the screwdriver doesn't slip

2 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

"At 1.7 million Sieverts per shot, you'll never need another espresso ever again!"

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

3.6 grams of caffeine per cup.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Right at dick level.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Roasts both your beans in two shakes of a lamb's tail.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

When you see blue, it's ready

2 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 0

Cherenkov's blend: Positively radiant flavor.®

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Look, I know those who've seen the blue usually end up dying. But there are just some curiosities in life that draw us into danger.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You don't need demon core to see T H E B L U E.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I mean it's not just seeing it that has me curious, but like does the air smell/taste different? I don't think I've seen anyone mention anything about it because usually when the air itself turns blue you're too panicked to focus on anything else.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is this a fake photo? Are they not already getting irradiated by it while doing this? I thought they were supposed to be behind a wall when it collapsed.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's "safe" as long as the 2 halves of the outer sphere weren't closed together, the gap between them in the photo is enough to keep the nuclear reaction at a safe level. The incident was from them not following the procedures and just holding it open with a screwdriver, which eventually ended up slipping and letting it shut, which quickly caused the nuclear reaction to kick into a dangerous state.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ugh I hate coffee culture sometimes. It's so pretentious.

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

I like my La Colombe, flavorful with just a hint of pretentiousness.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I can appreciate this post. I can also enjoy a cup of instant coffee though, when I don't haz the time.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Coffee culture, weed culture....all the same shit.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I think weed culture is worse, to be honest. I can actually taste the difference in grinds and roasts. Weed just smells like weed, no matter how much my buddy claims “you can really taste the duct tape!”

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Aren't you supposed to wait a day after roasting before grinding the beans?

2 years ago | Likes 68 Dislikes 1

Woulda been a long gif

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

48-72 hours, though this depends on the roast and desired output. Coffee contains a lot of CO2 when fresh. Allowing that gas to dissapate results in a cleaner cup without off flavors. If you wait too long, the coffee will lose VOC's (volatile organic compounds) and lose complexity, eventually just tasting flat. If the roast is dark enough to express oil, those can also go rancid.

2 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

The video is only 30sec long but you can come back in a day if you prefer to pretend it's filmed in one single shot.

2 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 1

If you look closely you can see cuts for time in the video

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why?

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

off-gassing

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

because roasted beans develop a lot of carbondioxyde, which counters a good extraction. waiting for the most part to vaporize greatly benefits the intended taste.

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

That's also why coffee bags have that little port on them. It allows the carbon dioxide to vent out without allowing oxygen or moisture in.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hit the nail right on the head! 48 hours is great for drip, 72 for espresso. Depending on processing and roast degree it could take up to 5 weeks. General rule of thumb is a week off roast.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Depends if its Arabica or Robusta beans, Americans drink the cheap Robusta, European prefer Arabica

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 56

American here, Arabica all the way. Robusta is gross.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

American coffee drinker here and I've never even heard of "robusta"

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Wholly untrue, I have no idea where you got that information. Americans drink a lot of commodity grade arabica, but robusta is not prevalent here. Further, there are classic european blends that contain robusta. It just depends on what kind of customer they are going after.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The only coffee company in America that I know of that uses Robusta is Death Wish, because their whole marketing shtick is the high caffeine content. Maybe they used it in the '50s or something but Arabica is the default here.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Folgers classic contains robusta, Nguyen coffee supply, and a few others. It's not common. In 2015 (I think?) maxwell house made the switch to pure arabica.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

All the beans I've ever come across in the US are Arabica

2 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 1

If you've come across them I think you've misunderstood what type of "grinding" you were meant to do

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

He will pay for this. We will grind him like coffee beans.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Even the cheapass ones at Aldi are listed as Arabica, not sure I've ever seen the other.

2 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0