Down vote away Im done

I don't care I need to say this no one I know is on here so this is just something to get me through.

I feel iv done really well in lockdown. Stayed home, stayed away, followed the rules to most part. it's been almost a month since I left the house before that it was two and before that well you get it.
But I'm cracking I found out my boyfriend cheated on me over Christmas and we are trying to work through it which holy hell it's hard. Any negative idea that can come to mind iv thought it, walked throw it, sat and watched the movie of it and I find myself hating myself cause I hate the idea of "that girl" who I have lost so many good male friends to.
I live at home with my mum and her partner and everytime I enter the room, sit down, move my stuff he tuts and huffs.
His newest issue with me is my eatting I don't know why but I'm a loud chewer even with mouth closed. Any time I eat he's huffing and puffing and tutting making me feel really uncomfortable and not wanting to eat in company.
My family are difficult to talk to cause they tend to jump to the defensive it's not thier fault thats just how they are and I'm the least intelligent of them trying to explain myself or fight my corner has always been difficult near impossible so I tend to bow out and just sit tight when I try to explain I'm sad they instantly feel I'm attacking them even when I try to calmly explain this is just how I feel. Talking never works and I normally end up in tears
I get everyone is at the point of breaking I get that everyone is tense I hate to saying this cause I'm lucky my country pays a okish social welfare and I pay little in rent as I live at home I'm set golden and I should be thankful but I'm currently sat in my bedroom itching and crying dieing to talk to anyone who isn't on my circle I know this won't last forever and honestly that idea brings me little comfort. There are so many brave people out there and I admire u all so please just ignore pass over Down vote what ever u want I'm just a simple stupid little whiny girl who just wants to hug someone and know I be able to go outside again soon I'm so tierd stay strong everyone I'm sorry

---front page edit----
Thank you everyone for the support this was just meant to be a scream into a pillow with out actually screaming and letting the family know. I never thought I'd see anything like this thank you all.
Also please note I do love my mother, she is a brilliant women and has done and keeps doing alot for me. Just we are very different people and both have gone through alot these past years even more then iv mentioned today. Just sometimes we don't speak the same language but she really is a lovely women my hole family are lovely just alittle nuts and that's is what I hate and love about them just makes me feel alittle Lonly sometimes, and I'm quiet a social creature. Thank you all

If anyone is interested in gaming with a noob hit me up yo I play pc mostly

PS sorry for the spelling dyslexia is hard Google voice spell check for da win

Edit part 2: alot of people are asking what I play and I just want to say I'm open to playing anything as long as I can run it I normally play left for dead 2, skyrim, I use to play diablo and wow but havnt play those in years. So drop me a message if you think you have a game good and u got passiantance for a new player :)