I didn't know I needed to read this. And so do you.

Feb 19, 2016 6:30 AM

nathanielac

Views

47815

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4695

Dislikes

111

TLDR; guy discovers prostate masturbation, loves it.

This should have been a green text.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

So this is probably the best thing I'm going to read today.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

What a ride!

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

This makes me so sad. My drumstick ran away and left me.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

If you like distressing stories about masturbstion check out Guts by Chuck Palahniuk.Three stories about masturbation,each more horrifying.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Um I'm disturbingly aroused.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Happy international women's day!

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

+1 for Deadpool

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Where's IPegOnTheFirstDate when you need her? lol

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

@IPegOnTheFirstDate

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Wait wait wait, can we acknowledge the purple tip part? Is this normal?

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Just has to do with the blood pressure. More pressure means harder.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Waaay up your butthole morty

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

These things are pointy!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

/r/pegging

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I'll admit, I've had a crap or two that left me in such afterglow I kinda wondered if that's what gay men felt like.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Can't blame you. I'm female and it's awesome being ducked in the ass. Sorry she's not willing to try your kink. Strap ons are a load of fun.

10 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 4

What are you doing tomorrow night? Wanna get a drink?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

One word. FEELDOE. Google it. Guy I know is the same as @OP, wife is loving but closed-minded, tilhe showed her this and she's at 'maybe'

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Commenting for no reason in particular.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Someone's using mobile.

10 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

Haha yea

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Girl here, I enjoy anal too, but no guy's ever let me get behind them.. I'd quite like to fuck a fuck-ee.. aggressively riding is okay tho

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Challenge Accepted

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My ass is closed country. :/ no joy there.

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Same here. Mine is a well of pain and sadness.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Then you haven't tried, or you tried and they did it wrong :p

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 16

Everyone loves eating spinach and brussels sprouts. If you don't, then you just haven't given it chance. NO! Everyone's different.

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Thank fod we're different! ! It would be awful boring if everyone liked the same. :)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I may or may not have dimmed the lights and closed the door while reading this

10 years ago | Likes 232 Dislikes 0

did you get a drumstick too?

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Budum bum tsssssshloop

10 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

wow that sounds deep o.o

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Is it just that late, or is this hilarious to everyone else also

10 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

I'm trying to stifle my laughs so I don't wake my roommates

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It sounds like he pulled this whole story out of his ass.

10 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 2

nah he just pulled a kylecorn and found out something new about himself :P

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

He did. http://bash.org/?5775

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That was a better read than I expected. I hope the OP finds a gal willing to give him some drumstick.

10 years ago | Likes 125 Dislikes 0

Aye, or just tell the current GF the truth and see if that changes her mind any.

10 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

If she batshit freaks out at the way he is, would he really want to stay with her?

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I'm not saying he should if she acts that way, but sometimes people respond differently to hypothetical situations than to reality.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Very much true, and sometimes you just make it worse in your head and then in reality it turns out different.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We men can get selflessly attached to other beings at times.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Well it's really easy for me to say "Leave the bitch" when I find lots of women are utter bitches to men. I'm no dude, no attachment.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have gay friends who aren't at all interested in butt stuff. Being gay means being attracted to men, liking stuff in your bum doesn't 1/?

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

automatically correlate. The reason a lot of gay men do butt stuff is because it's the closest thing to "intercourse" they can do. Source:

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

I'm a very sheltered straight guy with some very chatty gay mates

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I hope this doesnt happen to me on my first prostate exam

10 years ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 0

Just give yourself one ahead of time. Most of his reaction was from the surprise.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Had my first exam a few years ago,was painful and embarrassing and I didnt discover any new fetish.If anything,I figured out what I dislike.

10 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

My first exam the doc pushed down so hard I almost crumpled to the floor, follow up exams weren't bad at all.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

My only question is, why a drumstick?

10 years ago | Likes 248 Dislikes 2

well, the probe for a prostate exam is like a drumstick, so he opted for the cheaper probe.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Cos they be finger licking good?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Because the whole chicken didn't fit.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Probably because it's shaped like a dick but is much slimmer

10 years ago | Likes 79 Dislikes 0

It's what most "experts" recommend you start with. It's shaped like a dick but it's smoother, slimmer, and longer.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

But... why male models?

10 years ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 1

I'm a drummer and I've used drumsticks before. They're alright, but I only used them because I have them.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Logistically, it's small enough to not be uncomfortable, long enough to be hard to lose up there, and cheaper/more accessible than dildos.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

No, the drum tree would have been too much at the start

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

first experience with a finger, and a drum stick is about the same width, and guessing he didn't want to stick his own finger in? idk though

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

As a drummer who's splintered/broken drumsticks, I would be terrified of splinters. Much rather a King Sharpie or CS Pocket Shark.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Well he's not slamming it repeatedly against the rim of a snare. And I'm hoping there was lube involved...

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The doctor probably wanted to molest the guy... as he pointed out, he's only 23

10 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 7

Stupid

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Yeah that Dr had to have known what he was doing.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's usually the case with prostate exams. At least, that's what my pastor told me.

10 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 2

Oh honey...

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Well, "There are only 2 contraindications to a PR exam", as we're taught: "You don't have a finger, or they don't have an anus".

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I have an anus but no prostate. Your move.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

PR = per rectum, not prostate; there are many more reasons for doing a PR exam than just a prostate check, I'm afraid

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

PR exams would still be needed to check anorectal pathology eg haemorrhoids, so... Sorry, but you're no exception

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Are they a regular thing for women though, or is that only if there is reason to assume a complication?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Usually only if there's a reason (eg rectal bleeding), but if you're getting a colonoscopy, you're likely going to get a pr too at the start

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"No homo" god said, as he put mans G-spot up his ass.

10 years ago | Likes 433 Dislikes 10

Always the quest to find and push The Button

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Lmao this fucking made my day. +1

10 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

This should be the top comment

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

Orgasmo is awesomo

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty fly?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Clearly he can, so all is well in the world.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"I like stuff up the butt, I must be gay." Thats... thats not how that works. This guy needs a GF who's into pegging thats all.

10 years ago | Likes 97 Dislikes 1

It gets the silliness across better to imagine it's a woman saying that. :)

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

huh?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think Flyndaran meant imagine a woman saying "I like it up the ass so I must be gay"

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That is what I said. Few characters and typing tired don't make for clear writing.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I wish this was my boyfriend. I'd fuck him silly.

10 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

The world needs more gals like you

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Just now seeing this comment, soooo... did he ever open up to such activities?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nope, he doesn't want to and I respect that. I don't want anything in my butt either.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

but if he changed his changed mind...boom! you'd happily hop on the opportunity! :)~ Him a few nights later:

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You just became a part of my fantasy ty.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Wow. So vividly written and now I wonder if my bf is happy with me.. Hahaha

10 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 1

Well i feel the same. ?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bring It up? :D

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Me too !

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My bf has a porn addiction. I've been very concerned recently that I don't match up to his orgasms during porn. He's been very reassuring.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Is it addiction level or just his most reliable tool for gratification. Addict level= disrupts daily life/can't do sex w/out etc.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He was at the point of it being his main goal of the day. Thankfully we caught it before it affected his sex drive. It's been a long road.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Roosterteeth podcast

10 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 2

I didn't care about any comment but this one. Thanks friend.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Which one?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

RT Podcast #362 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pluMxZYeR8

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

How did it go from pancakes to that?

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Yes! That's actually where I heard about this. I believe it was podcast #362.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I am so glad my wife figured out herself how to treat me, so I dont have to ask for the kinky stuff :D

10 years ago | Likes 219 Dislikes 3

All the people I hang out with have similar kinks. I tend to hang out with Poly folk tho.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good for you, I got "lucky" found my husband on a kinky website hehehehehe.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Well, that's a modern story for your theoretical children.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Oh yes, but if we have them, will be adopted anyway, too many LGBT kids are thrown away by parents for being different.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Our dogs don't care either way.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good for you. However, I am absolutely not into but stuff and if my girl decided to "figure out" for herself, I would be 50 shades of WTF.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

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[deleted]

10 years ago (deleted Mar 2, 2016 3:35 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Thank you for the mental image of your vagina flapping it's wings as it elegantly drifts off into the sky. That was beautiful.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Thank you for your beautiful imagery.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

So you're attracted to men but have no desire for penetrative sex?

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

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[deleted]

10 years ago (deleted Mar 2, 2016 3:35 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

what's a yus?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Well that's not so bad I guess. There'd be a few ladies out there that would be into that.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

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[deleted]

10 years ago (deleted Mar 2, 2016 3:35 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Penetration alone is usually not enough to make a woman orgasm anyway. You have to find her good spot and that varies per woman.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah, I understand that but my point was more that being with a hetero guy and not being into penetrative sex would suck.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh I was looking at the wrong POV there we go. Thanks.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Scares the shit out of me if i decide to start dating that they will get wierded out by my kinks.

10 years ago | Likes 60 Dislikes 0

I'm like, numb. I won't be turned off anymore. Damn Internet.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Some will. But keep truckin' and you'll find someone who's crazy matches yours. There are a lot of us freaks out there.

10 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 1

That's why I could never break up with my gf (also I don't want to), because then you'd have a whole new person to "train"

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssss

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm pretty up front about my kinks and the fact that I NEED them when first meeting a guy. There's no point in wasting each others time.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fetlife.com

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Is this worth trying?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Absolutely. The forums are great, and for the most part it's a good atmosphere.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Found my girlfriend over there :) Its worth it.. just be polite and honest. Don't be one of the majority and you'll do fine

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

What do you mean by "majority"?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

[deleted]

[deleted]

10 years ago (deleted Mar 2, 2016 3:35 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

From anal?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

From life

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Well, hello.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It's just the way guys are built! If my G-spot was up my ass I'd wanna explore that too. No shame in the game.

10 years ago | Likes 122 Dislikes 6

Not this guy. I don't judge those that enjoy what they do, but dammit. Stop making statements about MY preferences and biology.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 12

You got the same biology as the rest of humanity, so even if you don't want it, your G-spot is in your ass.

10 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

One: g-spots are nonsense. Males can be forced to ejaculate through massage or electric stimulation. That DOES NOT make it pleasurable.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The fact that men's g-spots are up the arse-hole is proof that either there's no God, or that God's a cunt.

10 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 6

Or God is extremly pro gay

10 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 1

Can confirm, have stuck things in my ass, am a dude

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Is there like a special way?Just asking b/c my SO &I experimented but I'm totally clueless.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Fuck loads of lube and go slow

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Lube liberally. Large loads. Like, LOTS.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lots of lube and communication

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

weirdly, I'm a chick, and once I was gently introduced to anal, I.. came from it harder than P in V O.o Those were the scream worthy orgasms

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

Yep.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Makes sense. Structurally speaking everything's pretty connected down there for us gals, and there's also tons of nerve endings in the area.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Mai ghad when you buzz the front with a vibrator, and he puts his D in one and finger in the other... Call an exorcist!!!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Holy Fuck!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

EEEEEEEEEXACTLY!!!!!!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We just have the luxury of picking which exit they get to stick it in or what?

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

And how luxurious it is

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

That story made me want to fuck myself, that's how much I enjoyed it and I'm not even gay.

10 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 1

So claims the guy in the story, but he was thinking about picking up guys and isn't interested in sex with his GF, but in talking to her. ok

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's really well written, this guy could write for a living

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

No homo

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

I think everyone is going to need an update on this.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Same fam.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

How many people will shove something up there ass tonight. Statistics tell us at least one

10 years ago | Likes 716 Dislikes 5

Every night bb <3

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Does it count if it happened prior to reading this?

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

5/7

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

I discovered this year's ago. OP is doomed to a life of getting girls who like to do this kind of stuff.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

It's a hard knock life, for him

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Filled with immensely hard orgasms, tho ;)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I will, i mean i would even before reading this but STILL

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Tried it before. Ain't much for me, sensationwise. Your physiology may vary.

10 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Same here, my ex gf put a finger in and it hurt

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was so disappointed with how much i didn't like it. The shit I read made it sound like it would be the promised land.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

It didn't do much for me until I figured out I wasn't going far forward (yes, forward, not up) enough. Massive, massive difference.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

If a person can stimulate their prostate by just an in out motion without a curved massager, I'd guess an enlarged prostate is part of it

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Maybe, I wouldn't know.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh, huh. May give it another go.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I only got it last week after looking at a diagram, heh. You'll know when you hit it but you have to go further forward, and tilt (1/2)

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I thought he meant chicken drumstick at first.

10 years ago | Likes 948 Dislikes 2

Me too!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

jesus christ i did too i almost stopped right there

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This is why sometimes you have to read and not skim, i did the same thing

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

IMO, you want that extra crispy from colonel himself. It hurts until it doesn't.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hahahah! Ironic seeing as he likes cock up his ass

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I stopped for a moment there, wondering whether he'd end up using a chicken or turkey drumstick, before continuing to read

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

My actual thoughts: "...what like chicken? Or he's gonna eat ice cream and contemplate things? OH THOSE DRUMSTICKS"

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Haha.. so did I!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You've got to be American...

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

I also thought of chicken. Not because I'm fat, but because I've always seen the instrument spelled "drum stick" and the food "drumstick."

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Never occurred to me, but honestly this comment makes it 210% better.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Would it be any less weird? I'm not knocking prostate stimulation but a drumstick!?!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

oh good I wasn't the only one.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

wont a condom work ?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Or ice cream Drumstick.

10 years ago | Likes 77 Dislikes 2

Want something from the shop?

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

We were just at the shop...

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

No I mean a different shop!

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

You cannot do personal errands on duty!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1