Steph3n
96246
1669
73
May 11, 2017 10:33 PM
Steph3n
96246
1669
73
DapperWaffles
Switching between no and no(t) fucks my head
buffalo693
It's similar to the English language, but makes it better in this case
butIdontownasuitJudith
Necessary to hear Billy Connolly's voice when reading these.
BuckeyeRandy
If it's not Scottish IT'S CRAP!
seltzerandjin
waiter minute, I've got something for this
Astrangeimageeveryday
I only speak english can someone translate
snoffler
What I don't get is how England/Scotland/Ireland have so many vastly different accents yet the much bigger Australia barely varies at all
1NO1
These are the best
IPretendToBeDifferentNationalities
Makes me proud
thatonesingingblonde
These are so hard for me to read! Like what even are some of these words??
Anthonlee
What
tanner42069
I like how much of the accent is reflected in the incorrect spelling of words
TheUbermover
Automatically read in a Scottish accent.
Sordiy
Lol same A wee bit chilly tonight lads
WantDownvotes
Its the only way i can understand them
SirWaddleTheSpaceDuck
The spelling is manageable and hilarious but holy lack of punctuation.
difficultdifficultlemondifficult
Arsikere
it's a different language for sure
ThatIrishLass
Fer soor*
ThatIrishLass
Jfc I'm Irish and this is borderline unintelligible. I love the Scots.
OfficialBenderRodriguez
I wish there were new ones every once in a while
DuggieDug
Scottish insults are so abstract and creative. Nowhere else can the words "victim", "lizard" or "weapon" be used as insults.
GodEmperor0fMankind
I'll admit that I understood very few of those words. Still, I found this very amusing. +1
choloeseguay
#13 I can see that
SirCheckmatesalot
Where's your patter ya fucking lizard
GrandmaSlappy
I always read even the women in a burly male accent, I canny help it.
bomboy23
Can I get a translator?
acidraindance
Context clues ya fokin weapon
GrandmaSlappy
Which one(s)?
Ivegotathingforflowers
The toilet one??
ImguriansFillMySaltReservoir
B&Q is a home improvement store, the "boy" employee sent them to the aisle that has toilets for sale instead of the bathroom.
Ivegotathingforflowers
Thank you!!!
jmeyers1983
Where's your patter?
sarabear
Am no a grass ?
Ryannihilation
I'm not a snitch
cornedbeefhash
"I'm not a snitch."
VeteranKamikaze
Scottish Twitter is the weirdest Twitter because logically I know they're all speaking English but...
illegalacorn
Steph3n
Not be performing fellatio on one and one should remember that 2/2
Steph3n
Will not *
GrandmaSlappy
Your username seems relevant to this one
Steph3n
"Why do male friends that you may be fornicating with act up against you around their friends? One should remember that ones friends 1/2
Steph3n
Also anyone that doesn't get #17 then just watch this: https://youtu.be/miwuZGdJKtI
tanner42069
OP delivers
Steph3n
I have plenty more references and unfortunate life experiences with junkies if required
tanner42069
Link
Steph3n
Source: Police officer in Glasgow
doombuggy
These should be tourism posters. Every Scottish Twitter dump increases my desire to visit Scotland ten fold. I want to hear the fuckers talk
vonKaiser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi-JlvBCl3A
MephitmpH
Ye want ya hear dem fookers talk ya?
Buck39
Well go to Glasgow as that's where you're most likely to hear accents like these. The accent changes roughly every 20-30 miles in Scotland
MarisaR
This is exactly how my mother and grandmother speak. And it's amazing. I was born in Canada , so no accent. :/
Steph3n
Obviously potato quality but hilarious all the same!
CardioVascular
Check out "still game" on Netflix, it's brilliant.
zma123456
I met few Scottish people about a month ago. The are such nice people, and they totally talk like this. I kept thinking of all the memes.
ProphetofEntropy
i thought boomhauer from king of the hill was speaking some made up language, until i saw a guy on a fishing show speaking the same way.
choloeseguay
Are they memes though?
mitochondria
my boyfriend has family in Scotland. We message back and forth with voice clips and say "how would you guys say this?!" it's always a laugh
Cheomesh
I was going to visit for a swordsmanship event but travel is expensive :(
Steph3n
Where is this swordsmanship event? I'm sure someone would be able to help you out with accommodation!
Cheomesh
Edinburgh. For me, it's flight tickets and passport for my wife and I more than anything. I'll attend one eventually!
SaItamontes
Better find you some Scottish YouTube and get some practice with the accent. I've a sense they don't all sound like Amy Pond.
SovietSabre
The majority of the Scottish Twitter posts are from people in Glasgow as this is how a lot of us speak. Fyi!
hajonaa
Love to the people who make Glasgow.
SovietSabre
Haha thanks. That's the motto btw, 'People Make Glasgow'.
definitelynotthebostonstrangler
Is it pronounced "Glass-Go" or "Glass-Gow"?
SovietSabre
If you said 'Glazz-go' that would the the most accurate way of saying it. Few people say Glass go & exclusively Americans call it Glass-gow
peteloto
Just once I'd like to hear "ya fuckin lizard" from a real Scot
Majordissapointment
I can help with that
hajonaa
It's freaking glorious. I've been there on my year abroad and Glaswegians are literally the nicest people in the world.
hajonaa
Very hearty and rough around the edges, they'll strike up a conversation with you and are genuinely the nicest people.
hajonaa
My friends (mind you lads and hens) and I went to a pub and some strangers bought us all whiskey. It's the bloody best if not for the rain.
Steph3n
It's easier to decipher in written form! Once you can understand this I'll personally stamp your passport! https://youtu.be/1RyFD4C7A5I
herecomestheeyeholeman
I'm getting the gist of it but the audio quality is absolute trash
ShinksAvoHazaar
"Hop on over hop on over. Aye will fucking see. Aye." Bout all got background noise mucked up the first bit.
LokiTDD
gie us a bag o chips. naw. how no?.
SirSchmoopyOfAwesometon
Are... Are they actually forming words? I just hear a big long mush of vowels
Steph3n
140 characters aren't enough to explain half of it! Some phrases include "al knock fuck out eh you" and "al put holes aww er you"!
MaximumSausage
Worked IT support for an oil company that had workers in Scotland. Would get calls from them often. I legit couldn't understand some of them
Steph3n
That'll be Aberdeen. That's a different type of Scottish. Even Scottish people don't understand them.
Majordissapointment
You've clearly never been to cumnock.... Makes Aberdeen sound normal
Steph3n
Ma pal stays in Cumnock ken eh?
MaximumSausage
Did love those calls, though! They'd usually say "Cheers, love" before hanging up, though it was more like, "Chehz loov" and made me giggle
DriedFishFromMars
My Maintank back in my WoW days was from there. holy fuck when he got angry, couldn't understand shite :D