imjustreposting
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10 or 15
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songluv
As my father always said, "if you're drowning in the pussy, just swim to the butt"
thatsnotaknife
Needs citations, preferably in APA
MadDucks
#10 "Eat your brocolli." "I don't want to!" "Then ALL you get is broccolli until you eat it. Then you can have the rest of your dinner."
Notcatperson
These same "tricks" "lifehacks" and "crazy psychology" get reposted time and time again with different backgrounds.
soyamon
I'm sure these can work but I get the feeling there's a bit of psuedo-science involved.
Surely
#5 What my non-idiot friends would say to each other after the 1 cent bid: "I'll give you 50 cents if you don't bid any higher."
Cocacoladinosaur
Your friends may be stupid. But then again, you're just reposting.
mattsawizard
#2 Also works when you try to go the same way round someone walking the other way. Just pick a side with your eyes early, rarely fails
phsnyc
3 is accurate. It's how I get from my NYC apartment in the west 40s to my office in the mid 30s without killing 400 tourists a day.
lunarlynx8
Can concur. I transferred in 51St St. And this has made my morning commute so much better.
Koldfront
"Hey guys, wanna auction me for this dollar?" "No" - Literally everyone.
alexthepatient
#6, 7, 9 & 13 are creepy, transparent, used on me alot & make me actively seek escape from the convo. #8 is based in a flawed premise
BusFarts
How to get punched. This episodes theme is social awkwardness!
Ponderpoo
http://25.media.tumblr.com/e3c93222ae475b24c9e6d06e3852fccb/tumblr_mn2xfxTQaD1qcqa3io3_250.gif
imgonnahitthebreaksandhellflyrightby
I’m sorry but the person that wrote these has dumb friends
Gotbread
#1 Well i do the same thing as bart. always rock
amysteriousbrownie
Good old rock. Nothing beats that!
DIINKELBERG
IAmMonkeyGirl
Got annoyed at the post, stayed for the comments...was not disappointed.
ModernCookie
Well they haven't met my niece haha... "Do you want 2 or 5 pieces of broccoli?"...None... "2 or 5?"..... NONE
TimeAwaits
Try this method
TimLippe
If your significant other is yelling at you, begin using sign language. They quickly realize that yelling at a deaf person is pointless.
djsdkdjsk
Yeah, if someones your significant other, im pretty sure they'll know you are not deaf
jhawker27
I try to talk to her and she just mumbles and throws gang signs at me.
LeadCommentFarmer
sitting next to them doesnt work. believe me
Classifiedskipper
You are 100% right,
UrMomDoubleGay
Seems legit... I mean not like my girlfriend would know if she's dating a deaf guy.....
NoPownIntended
gookboii
SamanthaWhitlock
As the mother of a nearly 6 year old. I can say the broccoli trick does not work. My kids always gives me his own options.
milofrank2
I used that trick when I tended bar. Didn't ask if they wanted another, I asked if they were ready for it.
CorneliusCornwall
I too instinctively throw scissors. Someone startled me; BAM! Scissors.
IdHaveSexualIntercourseWithHerIfSheLegallyConsentedToDoSoWithMe
I usually go with the stapler. Open, of course.
cfcannon
I prefer to throw a Kpinga.
SevenLeagueBoots
You carry them with you? I have to go find mine.
CorneliusCornwall
Dammit my phone buzzed and now there are scissors in my wall
DarkOverlordJuice
When turning text into images, don't separate words to fit any sort of pattern, no matter how awful, for exam-
DarkOverlordJuice
ple, this.
DownvoteMeToInfinityAndBeyond
You forgot to nod
TimeAwaits
Stop it, stop it, stop it, STOP IT! Ohh man, I'm the same. Words hyphenated to the next line make me so mad!
Surely
I mean, it's alright in some cases. But not like this ^^
Ivain
Hyphenating words is only acceptable if youre writing on paper with permanent ink and dont have the time or space to start over the sentence
AliBarber
This.. This doesn't work that often.
Marmitetoast1
It's better to look up at the sky, even people on their phones notice that you are not paying attention. Staring ahead doesn't work.
Surely
It works fine if you're also holding a gun
blahblahbushes
That's because people are staring at their phones.
GingerParade
It works if it’s just two people headed towards each other. Avoid the awkward dance by looking over one of their shoulders
lunarlynx8
I live in NYC. I navigate crowded stations everyday & this works about 90% of the time (the 10% is people not paying attention). Key is 1/2
lunarlynx8
To commit to the stare. It's tempting to look at the incoming person, but don't! Keep looking past their shoulders! 2/2
Howmanyusernamesarealreadytakenthisisinsane
I think this only works for tall people, since theire faces can be seen early enough to move away
theirarefourlights
I live in a big city. People are fucking oblivious. It’s a perennial irritation. I call shenanigans on this one.
TripUpStairs
I use the broccoli trick with dementia patients. People like choices. Some of these seem like unethical life pro tips. Still upvoted.
TZO2k15
I keep them in mind so wretched assholes who would abuse them won't use them against me...
Equinox13
Pretty sure that broccoli trick works better with dementia patients than kids. Kids just say "zero."
djknetic
My kid likes broccoli. It might be because I taught her to pretend she is a giant eating full sized trees (which is how I eat broccoli)
dogestyle
That's a common salesman trick
CriticlThinker
Doesn’t work at all with my 2-year-old. He just says no.
CloudberryMoose
Doublecheck the humanity
hiltothedance
I use it for discipline in class: "ok you can sit and work or we can have a conversation about this after school" stuff like that.
CatsIsTheAnswer
I don't know, my mother tried the broccoly thing with little kid me: neighbours still talk about the tantrum I threw that night
ConcreteNerdling
CatsIsTheAnswer
What fool doesn't believe on things strangers tell on the internet???
Nobodycaresaboutashittyusername
What retard would bid on a dollar what the fuck.
milofrank2
There was actually a tv show that did it, but with like a 20. Guy who one paid 62 to get 20. So it's a thing
LocustStar
Well, if you bid 1 cent and agree to split the profits with everyone else (if they don't bid), then you've won.
InigoMontoyas1stsword
Do it when drinking with friends, and they kinda getta nice buzz goin!?!
TheSwedishCryptid
I would be the third person to bid and just be like "I bid 1 dollar for that one dollar" just to see the two of them go crazy.
ih8economics
until they outbid you by 1 penny and you owe a dollar and get nothing in return.
TheSwedishCryptid
And then they'll start to outbid each other. And now they can't ever win. I'm fine with losing 1 dollar to see 2 greedy people go nuts
TheSwedishCryptid
Point is. I just escalated it to the point when they'll always lose money even if they "win"
jadespider
bullshit sudo-psychology. Everyone who read this is now dumber for the experience. That's what my father told me. *Nodding*
Surely
sudo learn-how-to-spell-pseudo
IAmAnAdu1t
Please enter the password for the account 'Surely':
DadJokesaretheBest
Shirley, you know that pseudo is used to make a low quality, impure, methamphetamine.
JHawke
Why would you learn that as administrator. That seems a rather bad security practise.
Surely
Just let me have my little joke, you party-pooper! ;)
JHawke
sudo pacman -Rs partypooper
Surely
Much appreciated! ^^
nouseforaheart
sudo-psych only works in unix environments...for real world, you use pseudo-psych...
djknetic
*captain_america_i_understood_that_reference.gif*
myotherusernameismyotherusername
Maybe it's an advanced form of sudoku.
nouseforaheart
No, that's a number game played on a grid. You're thinking of the city in Uzbekistan.
woodbone
TheAcolyte
Earworm, the term is earworm.
AbsolutelyNotADragon
Jim will be ecstatic.
Fluffycorn
SometimesIUseAllOfMyCharactersAtOnceAndDontCareAboutTheConsequ
youDontKnowMeByNow
earthworm jim ?
IdHaveSexualIntercourseWithHerIfSheLegallyConsentedToDoSoWithMe
But it also works to destroy earthworms.
lixa1090
...thinking about their ends destroys them?
djsdkdjsk
it does if you wanna put your little thing in them
OneArmedDuckFucker
Also it definitely doesn't work if you don't know the song that is stuck in your head. I had this and much later i had to find out that 1/2
OneArmedDuckFucker
the music which stuck in my head was the russian national anthem. I mean what the fuck?! 2/2
HarDcAsTLe
rhubarb
parryblockandrepost
In your defense that song is a banger
mildimplosion
это дом бога
TheVapeCrusader
It's because that's the music that you play in the background while you fuck a duck.
OneArmedDuckFucker
How well you know me.
Maraak
Oooh, getting soviet militaristic songs stuck in your head. Been there.
Maraak
"Polyushka polye" and "Katyusha" just NEVER fuckin' leave.
OneArmedDuckFucker
Lol, Katyusha is also a song that was stuck in my head. Interesting way to find out about a possible communist alter ego... o_o
Unravelled
O shit winter soldier is that you?
ItCanOnlyBeANipple
Krosoverwagon
TimLippe
At a vending machine, ask the person behind you for $5,000. When they say no, ask for 50 cents. Also pretend to be crippled.
ladis540
That's actually a sales trick, whatever they're selling they say some really high price and then the real one.
ShinksAvoHazaar
Hahaha
Housemaster
Housemaster
sahdad
Also persuade them with a knife.
ieverneon
medsal15
How about 2 knives?
TheVapeCrusader
How about a penis?
booperWrecker
Three knives for each hand
ReggieTheDogMan
Don’t forget about the mouth and feet, they need knives too
Alvi123
Revealing my true form usually works
v
punnypanther
Interesting, not sure where the morals end and the psychology begins..
JHawke
That is a question I ask myself quite often.. Usually about 5 minutes before convcing someone to drive me to town.
BaconOctopus
They are a construct made up by our minds. What is "immoral" can change in a decade or a year. Morals never were there to begin with.
Surely
Genital warts on the other hand are quite persistent.
rezpawner
Morals usually end way before psychology begins.
s0bere
Then what's in the middle?
JHawke
Malcolm.
OGTubix
Malcolm.
IdHaveSexualIntercourseWithHerIfSheLegallyConsentedToDoSoWithMe
*nodding* My father taught me morals are subjective *hands you books* and when it comes right down to it, there's no inherent right or wrong
Gzorax
I'm so done thanks to you
Davey76
“ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS”
punnypanther
LIZARD, SPOCK!!
IdHaveSexualIntercourseWithHerIfSheLegallyConsentedToDoSoWithMe
*instinctively throws
*
Myowngrampa
I just do it my goon on my hostel mates thanks