Got called in to my bosses office to ask why I didn't fill out the anonymous survey. I looked at him blankly and said uh... This is why. He didn't understand for a sec and then it dawned on him. If you knew I didn't take it, It's not anonymous.
While i agree that that's PROBABLY the case, because corpos suck dirty arse and gargle dirty balls, it's possible each employee got a unique link that only registers as having been completed, but doesn't identify which survey was submitted by which employee. This would teeccccchnically still be anonymous as long as 2 or more people complete it. Still, tho. Yup.
I had a funny thought, not that I am going to do it cause I lack the resources, but a t-shirt that says “I’m a Boeing whistleblower, you sure you want to be on this flight with me?” Would be a great shirt to wear to the airport.
In a lot of places, you have to have a union first. A lot of these surveys are also corporate dick sucking--they hire a company to give their employees a survey and if they do "well", they get to say some stupid thing. And because the companies make sure the employees know it's not in fact anonymous, they basically set up a situation where they'll reach a threshold, at which point they can add to their banner that they're a great place to work or some shit.
Funny thing is, my work had one of these for a while that was actually anonymous. I hate my job so much, but act pleasant, so our managers couldn't figure out why the results were so consistently low. Turns out most people didn't do them, so I was accounting for 10-20% of the morale, because I would do it each month and put nothing but negatives.
I know it was actually anonymous, because the managers were genuinely confused what was going wrong and why.
Yeah, managers always act confused when the results of these surveys come out. But in your case, they probably were (or should be) more concerned with the low participation than with the low score. The fact that you bothered to reply means that at least you give a damn.
It's hilarious my company thinks anyone will be honest when we all have to sign in to their anonymous surveys with either our work emails or our badge numbers
It is possible to set up a system to track who has submitted, and the forms seperately. It is the easiest way to stop spam bots or similar submitting 100s of forms. If a company does keep the two seperate is another matter.
If anytone is able to audit the process, and show that it is not anonymous when the company says it is, it can cause issues publically and socially if not also legally. Also gaining trust and getting useful feedback is great for a company who actually values it's employees... so yeah not likely in the biggest companies
1. Roots out "troublemakers" so management can get rid of them.
2. The inevitably bland and generally positive responses are used to justify not making improvements. After all, everybody's happy with the status quo, so why mess with success?
Additionally, if your job is unionized, the management-run survey *will* be used against the union in contract negotiations.
No. 2 is the big one, if you talk to anyone in my department they are miserable, they'll say they're underpaid, treated like children, management are rude/ineffective in their role etc, but then the survey comes back and it's "60% positive!" somehow so they do nothing about the very real negatives and pat themselves on the back for being at an "almost average" approval rate. Our results can show by department but they won't show us ours I guess because it's way below company average
I remember when I finished grad school being made to take an "anonymous" survey about my experience which led off by confirming my degree and class. I was the only person in my class with my degree.
They did that at my master's degree, for both professors and assistant PhD students. There was a blank space for "additional comments". A colleague of mine got a pic of Dickbutt in one of the reviews.
My co.pany says they're anonymous, I don't believe them. I also don't care if they know which one I wrote. I have a particular writing style and anyone who remotely knows me could easily pick up on it. Also, I used words like "asinine" on the last one, just as I have been saying for the last couple months.
The mods deleted my comment and sent me a warning when I wrote that on another post…still no explanation why this violated the conditions….I’ve asked three times…they’re a finicky bunch…🤷🏻♂️
Yeah, I don't think he was innocent. He admitted that in an interview, but he wasn't the dine and dasher the police thought he was, it just turned out he had other felonies.
Because it's being filmed... QLD cops were renowned for their brutality. "We used to be Gestapo, but this is much more fun! Kickin Ass and crackn skull and bustin our own Mums!"
Queensland, Australia. Most were moonlighting as muscle for crime bosses and the lines were blurred. Much corruption and violence. All the Eastern States at the time actually.
These things are *never* anonymous and will never be used to help the workers. You want an effective way to give HR your opinion? Unionize and present your grievances as a unified whole.
If my last couple of surveys weren't anonymous, there's no way in hell I'd still have a job, because I use them as a sounding board to vent all of the crap management can't be bothered to listen to any other day. But my job is unionized, so.....
Previous employer left one on everybody's desk one night. Guaranteed anonymous. Sent out a reminder a week later to those who hadn't responded. Carry the three, grab a UV light...yeah.
sounds like you work for a shitty company. Our survey results get town hall meetings with the executives with specific plans on how to address concerns.
All companies are shitty companies, some just haven't been faced with a situation where they need to throw you under the bus in the name of making the line go up. When they do face that situation, they'll do it in a fuckin' heartbeat.
My work dies these surveys but then schedules like 10 people at a time, has you sign a sheet with the time, and there's never more than like 2 people from the same department in the same time slot. Yeah, fuck saying anything controversial in those surveys.
I have a very bad and toxic employee, people are afraid to report because of consequences from the employee, you mean to say that they are wrong and should risk their life?
That's not what these surveys are for. "Oh, this other employee just threatened me. I'll wait for the next quarterly survey and write a small note about it in the 'Other comments/suggestions' section."
Sounds like you already know which group of employees you should be prioritizing. Or you can get used to hearing lawyers say the words "hostile work environment" a lot, very quickly.
Why should they complain, you obviously know already that you should remove him/her from the company if that's what's up. If there is something to be changed and it benefits 9/10 and you don't do it that's not a surveys fault, I'd call that management failure 🤷♂️
As a manager... Yeah, they ARE anonymous. That's why we contract with 3rd parties to do the surveys and such. That said, if your complaint is "oddly specific" it doesn't take a genius to know who said it.
First, not all of them are 3rd party. Any which aren't, are immediately suspicious to me. Second, like you say, it doesn't take a forensic analysis to figure out most complaints. Doubly so if it's from one of the companies that doesn't scrub demographic info.
Not always true. I had a manager warn me that they couldn't see names, but they could see the emails that the response came from which meant the "anonymous survey" wasn't fucking anonymous at all.
Ours were done through email; "anonymous," but the HR lady can just... read the sender field. They demanded a 100% completion rate and got zero; union said 'yeah maybe don't actually do that.'
Our company strictly says "this is not anonymous but confidential". Someone, somewhere knows who filled what out. But I agree it's not our direct management.
Exactly, the third party knows exactly who said what and there's nothing stopping your company from asking who wrote something specific... they never promised anonymity, management can keep something confidential and know who said it.
Close, I work for the Postal Service. The annual management-run "Postal Pulse" survey is done as individually numbered forms mailed to every employee with another copy handed to you by your supervisor. The only proper response to the survey is to drop the form in the trash and get on with your work day.
The last time I did a worm surgery, everyone got a generated code to log in to the 3rd party survey system...no one trusted it, 20% compliance vs 90% the year before. Managemrnt claimed it was only used for department tracking, but so few departments were 3 people or less.
My department of 12 had 1 white guy (me), one black guy, one woman, and 9 Hispanic employees. For 3 of us, the demographic information destroyed any semblance of anonymity. That being said, I would have signed the thing and explained every last answer if they asked.
I am always a 60+ year old pacific islander (thats not what i really am) when I fill out surveys for work. Kept me anonymous until a job where my boss told me that they're divided by departments. There were TWO people in my department. One of us didn't have a sense of humor. It wasn't hard to figure out. I had bitched to much... Boss didn't care, happy to get real feedback...boss's boss did NOT feel the same.
I was hired to build a team and one had one employee at the time. The system would not let me see their ratings or the aggregate of us both. Met with my boss who is an exec and could see the whole department aggregate. He couldn't see individual scores ratings either. Probably depends on the system.
Was middle management in security. That question was just for the 3rd party company from what I got. All we saw was a question and then a typed list of all the answers. But it's easy to recognize writing styles and common errors to know exactly who wrote what though, especially if you regularly read emails or reports from them
Sweet summer child, do you really think those 3rd party companies are so principled that they wouldn’t happily turn over any identifying info to the client that’s paying them large sums of money?
One of my coworkers “anonymously” accused himself of sexual harassment in one of these 3rd party surveys (glint) and you better believe he had a follow up meeting about that with mgmt.
No, but I do know that the company wont even ask for me to be identified, because they don't care which employees are discontent. they care which buildings are doing their job of keeping us from getting discontent enough for it to be a problem. The managers in my building might want us outed, but they don't get a say in that.
We also use glint, and usually have over 90% response rate. As far as i know, they actually are anonymous.
At a previous company i worked for the surveys were not, the first time they got good response rate, but a lot of people said they were unhappy. Everyone who rated the company below 7/10 had a follow up meeting with their manager... After that they had basically no responses, and the people who responded lied.
In my company they were anonymous or they pretended they were anonymous, but when a manager got a low score on his group he basically gave "homework" to his group employees on how to improve things. Basically an undercover retaliation for giving him low scores.
datphone777365
ItHurtsToSquirt
This rendition stills gets me. https://x.com/JasonKPargin/status/1723748918222033310
AtsaMattaForMe
leadpipecinch22
Got called in to my bosses office to ask why I didn't fill out the anonymous survey. I looked at him blankly and said uh... This is why. He didn't understand for a sec and then it dawned on him. If you knew I didn't take it, It's not anonymous.
billstranger
While i agree that that's PROBABLY the case, because corpos suck dirty arse and gargle dirty balls, it's possible each employee got a unique link that only registers as having been completed, but doesn't identify which survey was submitted by which employee. This would teeccccchnically still be anonymous as long as 2 or more people complete it. Still, tho. Yup.
djl74
What is the origin of this? I’ve seen it. But who is he? Whats going on here?
SubtleOrc
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democracy_Manifest
djl74
Thanks
CanIGetSomeExtraSalt
At least you didn't file a safety report against Boeing
Enterwittyandfunnyandexpletivedeletednamehere
Must've been a bad yelp review then...
thezoolityre
The B in Boeing is for "Barnette didn't kill himself"
DontTazeMeBrah
cracklinoatbran
iquestionthepinappleeveryday
I had a funny thought, not that I am going to do it cause I lack the resources, but a t-shirt that says “I’m a Boeing whistleblower, you sure you want to be on this flight with me?” Would be a great shirt to wear to the airport.
CommunCreator
You’d never make it to the plane. You’d be ‘indefinitely detained’ by TSA and given 2 in the hat, just to be safe.
NZSheeps
Get some made for the astronauts
YippeeKayakOB
a follow-up is available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FVSuHIjN4Y
Ecksray
Perhaps he complained about his succulent Chinese meal...?
hotrodny
That might be, but atleast the HR dept. know their Judo.
hadtochangemyusernamecauseIgotdivorced
A meal!? A succulent Chinese meal!?
PineappleLoopsBroether
Kajit is innocent of these crimes.
SLCtechie
At least they don’t have their hands on his penis.
Lostarchitorture
And they know their Judo well!
sirlokirichards
Ah, you know your judo well!
reyn1a
Ah, yes. I see that you know your judo well.
jimfalconer611
Get a (better) union. I’ve ripped up my administration before on reviews and nobody has ever said anything
INeverWaitForIt
In a lot of places, you have to have a union first. A lot of these surveys are also corporate dick sucking--they hire a company to give their employees a survey and if they do "well", they get to say some stupid thing. And because the companies make sure the employees know it's not in fact anonymous, they basically set up a situation where they'll reach a threshold, at which point they can add to their banner that they're a great place to work or some shit.
DickFlanagan
For the love of god someone please post the full clip… I see you know your judo well
thatunpleasantfeeling
Funny thing is, my work had one of these for a while that was actually anonymous. I hate my job so much, but act pleasant, so our managers couldn't figure out why the results were so consistently low. Turns out most people didn't do them, so I was accounting for 10-20% of the morale, because I would do it each month and put nothing but negatives.
I know it was actually anonymous, because the managers were genuinely confused what was going wrong and why.
yoyo42
They could still make it anonymous but count the responses. I wouldn't expect them to understand the subtleties though!
thatunpleasantfeeling
They eventually just stopped tracking it since nothing they tried made me hate them or the job any less.
cousteau
Yeah, managers always act confused when the results of these surveys come out. But in your case, they probably were (or should be) more concerned with the low participation than with the low score. The fact that you bothered to reply means that at least you give a damn.
ForeheadAirport
Democracy manifest.
WeeemRCB
They wanted honest feedback, they got it. If they don't like it then don't ask me again
BBQ93
What was the crime... Enjoying a succulent Chinese meal
HalifaxEast
I like choose answers differently everytime just for fun.
SedatedSl0th
Yeah I didn’t do the “company required”, “anonymous” survey.
KaijuMcCitysmash
It's hilarious my company thinks anyone will be honest when we all have to sign in to their anonymous surveys with either our work emails or our badge numbers
Gorgrim
It is possible to set up a system to track who has submitted, and the forms seperately. It is the easiest way to stop spam bots or similar submitting 100s of forms. If a company does keep the two seperate is another matter.
cousteau
Yes, but why would they bother doing that if it goes against their interests?
Gorgrim
If anytone is able to audit the process, and show that it is not anonymous when the company says it is, it can cause issues publically and socially if not also legally. Also gaining trust and getting useful feedback is great for a company who actually values it's employees... so yeah not likely in the biggest companies
PostalHeathen
The survey does two things.
1. Roots out "troublemakers" so management can get rid of them.
2. The inevitably bland and generally positive responses are used to justify not making improvements. After all, everybody's happy with the status quo, so why mess with success?
Additionally, if your job is unionized, the management-run survey *will* be used against the union in contract negotiations.
Chriswagon1
No. 2 is the big one, if you talk to anyone in my department they are miserable, they'll say they're underpaid, treated like children, management are rude/ineffective in their role etc, but then the survey comes back and it's "60% positive!" somehow so they do nothing about the very real negatives and pat themselves on the back for being at an "almost average" approval rate. Our results can show by department but they won't show us ours I guess because it's way below company average
STGxDante
Cut out the best part
ImperfectDad
The 100% anonymous survey that I have to put my employee number and date of birth in as the first questions?
TheLastGreatAudit
I remember when I finished grad school being made to take an "anonymous" survey about my experience which led off by confirming my degree and class. I was the only person in my class with my degree.
cousteau
They did that at my master's degree, for both professors and assistant PhD students. There was a blank space for "additional comments". A colleague of mine got a pic of Dickbutt in one of the reviews.
MickTaylorVRussellCoight
https://crowbarsyd.com/product/mr-democracy-manifest-pinot-noir/
EveryGOPAccusationIsActuallyAnAdmission
My co.pany says they're anonymous, I don't believe them. I also don't care if they know which one I wrote. I have a particular writing style and anyone who remotely knows me could easily pick up on it. Also, I used words like "asinine" on the last one, just as I have been saying for the last couple months.
SpaceMarineWithAnUrgeToPurge
GET YOUR HAND OFF MY PENIS!!!
cookieduster
28dayslaterwasawarning
But why does he keep asking? And having a good feel? The guy told him already
tzahtman
SubtleOrc
I see you know your Judo well
thedarkcanuck
And you sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?
necrojoe
Relax, I'm just looking for a succulent Chinese meal.
MrSnuffleupagus172
The mods deleted my comment and sent me a warning when I wrote that on another post…still no explanation why this violated the conditions….I’ve asked three times…they’re a finicky bunch…🤷🏻♂️
brettTvBaron
You had me at succ
ISometimesCommentWithDogGifs
Qazxswec
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcwC0oF3ROU
MantisTabogonMD
A succulent Chinese meal! You know judo
Exyr
This dude on principle I despise but fuck the memes are good.
EekumBokumEekumBokum
Why he bad?
Exyr
Hes a dine and dasher. Thats what hes being attested for.
vindik8or
No he is not a dine and dasher. That's all myth and misinformation. He was wrongfully arrested in a case of mistaken identity for credit card fraud.
SubtleOrc
yep.. he was a low life crim but FK if he's not a legendary cunt for this scene
Pestilenceisone
He actually was wrongfully arrested, the cops had the wrong guy.
davebeastly
Wasn't it proven that it was mistaken identity?
Exyr
Pretty sure he was using a stolen credit card.
davebeastly
Yeah, I don't think he was innocent. He admitted that in an interview, but he wasn't the dine and dasher the police thought he was, it just turned out he had other felonies.
EekumBokumEekumBokum
Why do all those cops look like weak nerds?
littlecoatfatguy
Because the man they’re arresting is freshly fuelled by a meal, a succulent Chinese meal.
SubtleOrc
this is the fabulous early 90s in Queensland when the "culture" was still stuck in the 70s
DdCno1
Explains why the clip looks like it's from the '70s.
SubtleOrc
exactly
BipedalHumanoidWithSlightlyDifferentNoseRidge
Because it's being filmed... QLD cops were renowned for their brutality. "We used to be Gestapo, but this is much more fun! Kickin Ass and crackn skull and bustin our own Mums!"
Duckgooser
Were?
BipedalHumanoidWithSlightlyDifferentNoseRidge
Queensland, Australia. Most were moonlighting as muscle for crime bosses and the lines were blurred. Much corruption and violence. All the Eastern States at the time actually.
Duckgooser
Not where, were. Qld cops are still heavy handed fuckwits
BipedalHumanoidWithSlightlyDifferentNoseRidge
Roger, roger. Sunday brain/eyes.
PostalHeathen
These things are *never* anonymous and will never be used to help the workers. You want an effective way to give HR your opinion? Unionize and present your grievances as a unified whole.
TheMightyMollusk
If my last couple of surveys weren't anonymous, there's no way in hell I'd still have a job, because I use them as a sounding board to vent all of the crap management can't be bothered to listen to any other day. But my job is unionized, so.....
Aliubi
Previous employer left one on everybody's desk one night. Guaranteed anonymous. Sent out a reminder a week later to those who hadn't responded. Carry the three, grab a UV light...yeah.
Avrgjoe80
Me putting my name on every asshole answer I give them..
HistoricalContext
United, we bargain. Divided, we beg.
comacomacomacomachameleon
sounds like you work for a shitty company. Our survey results get town hall meetings with the executives with specific plans on how to address concerns.
PostalHeathen
All companies are shitty companies, some just haven't been faced with a situation where they need to throw you under the bus in the name of making the line go up. When they do face that situation, they'll do it in a fuckin' heartbeat.
Ventorath
My work dies these surveys but then schedules like 10 people at a time, has you sign a sheet with the time, and there's never more than like 2 people from the same department in the same time slot. Yeah, fuck saying anything controversial in those surveys.
0xBADA55
I have a very bad and toxic employee, people are afraid to report because of consequences from the employee, you mean to say that they are wrong and should risk their life?
cousteau
That's not what these surveys are for. "Oh, this other employee just threatened me. I'll wait for the next quarterly survey and write a small note about it in the 'Other comments/suggestions' section."
UraniumNight
Sounds like you already know which group of employees you should be prioritizing. Or you can get used to hearing lawyers say the words "hostile work environment" a lot, very quickly.
ralphmelish
Why should they complain, you obviously know already that you should remove him/her from the company if that's what's up. If there is something to be changed and it benefits 9/10 and you don't do it that's not a surveys fault, I'd call that management failure 🤷♂️
ralphmelish
If you *need* reports, just report the employee yourself anonymously...if you got a working HR department they will look into it anyway...
Sooner70
As a manager... Yeah, they ARE anonymous. That's why we contract with 3rd parties to do the surveys and such. That said, if your complaint is "oddly specific" it doesn't take a genius to know who said it.
WizardofAnus
First, not all of them are 3rd party. Any which aren't, are immediately suspicious to me. Second, like you say, it doesn't take a forensic analysis to figure out most complaints. Doubly so if it's from one of the companies that doesn't scrub demographic info.
quadraspaz1
The first question is always what is your job role often followed by what department. It may as well say what is your name
TriumphOfMan
Not always true. I had a manager warn me that they couldn't see names, but they could see the emails that the response came from which meant the "anonymous survey" wasn't fucking anonymous at all.
Ullur
Ours were done through email; "anonymous," but the HR lady can just... read the sender field. They demanded a 100% completion rate and got zero; union said 'yeah maybe don't actually do that.'
FermentTheRich3000
Then why do I have to use my network login to fill it out?
panchita86
Our company strictly says "this is not anonymous but confidential". Someone, somewhere knows who filled what out. But I agree it's not our direct management.
ageek3000
Exactly, the third party knows exactly who said what and there's nothing stopping your company from asking who wrote something specific... they never promised anonymity, management can keep something confidential and know who said it.
PostalHeathen
If they were anonymous, the forms wouldn't be numbered. Somewhere, that number is linked to your name.
SomeDetroitGuy
They aren't forms and they aren't numbered. Where do you live? 1987?
PostalHeathen
Close, I work for the Postal Service. The annual management-run "Postal Pulse" survey is done as individually numbered forms mailed to every employee with another copy handed to you by your supervisor. The only proper response to the survey is to drop the form in the trash and get on with your work day.
CythrawlArawn
The last time I did a worm surgery, everyone got a generated code to log in to the 3rd party survey system...no one trusted it, 20% compliance vs 90% the year before. Managemrnt claimed it was only used for department tracking, but so few departments were 3 people or less.
CythrawlArawn
Work, not worm. Worms get A++
TheDudeanator
Ours were anonymous, but they asked our age and department, which narrowed the field down to 2 people who could have filled out the survey.
SanchoBlackout69
They usually collect that but only give data in minimum groups. So if you're the only male in an office your hr won't get the stats for males
sjs9702
My department of 12 had 1 white guy (me), one black guy, one woman, and 9 Hispanic employees. For 3 of us, the demographic information destroyed any semblance of anonymity. That being said, I would have signed the thing and explained every last answer if they asked.
CythrawlArawn
I am always a 60+ year old pacific islander (thats not what i really am) when I fill out surveys for work. Kept me anonymous until a job where my boss told me that they're divided by departments. There were TWO people in my department. One of us didn't have a sense of humor. It wasn't hard to figure out. I had bitched to much... Boss didn't care, happy to get real feedback...boss's boss did NOT feel the same.
BourbonandLust
I was hired to build a team and one had one employee at the time. The system would not let me see their ratings or the aggregate of us both. Met with my boss who is an exec and could see the whole department aggregate. He couldn't see individual scores ratings either. Probably depends on the system.
CoinedWatcher
Was middle management in security. That question was just for the 3rd party company from what I got. All we saw was a question and then a typed list of all the answers. But it's easy to recognize writing styles and common errors to know exactly who wrote what though, especially if you regularly read emails or reports from them
qui9
Sweet summer child, do you really think those 3rd party companies are so principled that they wouldn’t happily turn over any identifying info to the client that’s paying them large sums of money?
One of my coworkers “anonymously” accused himself of sexual harassment in one of these 3rd party surveys (glint) and you better believe he had a follow up meeting about that with mgmt.
SarcasticComment
you think corporate cares to pay large sums of money to find out which desk monkey isn't happy but not enough to quit?
pleaseconsiderthatImightbejoking
No, but I do know that the company wont even ask for me to be identified, because they don't care which employees are discontent. they care which buildings are doing their job of keeping us from getting discontent enough for it to be a problem. The managers in my building might want us outed, but they don't get a say in that.
dashers
Depends on the country. Our anonymous survey is done by a third party, and to sell on that data with PII would be a GDPR breach.
cousteau
That is only illegal if they get caught somehow.
Robtheshaman
This. Remember something only becomes illegal when caught. Look at wage theft as an example.
dashers
Again, easy in my country, you go to the relevant regulatory body. Corporate compliance law is not something to ignore here.
Mrjamesbanana
We also use glint, and usually have over 90% response rate. As far as i know, they actually are anonymous.
At a previous company i worked for the surveys were not, the first time they got good response rate, but a lot of people said they were unhappy. Everyone who rated the company below 7/10 had a follow up meeting with their manager... After that they had basically no responses, and the people who responded lied.
cousteau
In my company they were anonymous or they pretended they were anonymous, but when a manager got a low score on his group he basically gave "homework" to his group employees on how to improve things. Basically an undercover retaliation for giving him low scores.
Foxsayy
How can you ever really know?
Mrjamesbanana
You never really can, but i trust my current workplace way more. The union would drag them straight into hell if they lied about something like that.