OriginalWadjet
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Some people think it's excessive to have two eagles? DAMN COMMIES!
ohfortheloveofGod
I laughed too hard and too long at 'france is bacon"
bringusashrubbery
as a girl I always worried people would think I had a boner when my pants bunched wrong while sitting... .
FastandBiCurious
So... are these just go on forever, like Kidz Bop?
PresidentObamaOfficial
France is bacon? 'Murica is bacon motherfuckers
baronridiculous
My eagle ceremony was terrible. I waved the flag for hours, and finally a duck landed on my head and my mom had to tell me I'm half French.
Sadiex
Lost it at Mr Brightside
InactiveBanana
Seriously, America. This needs to become a thing. Then whenever people travel here they'd be like wtf where are the eagles?
baronridiculous
I guess he learnt you.
trinibieni
I just went and put googly eyes on my coffee maker. Thank you. So much.
jayfeather314
Lost it at Joe Biden
tselly
Almost made it through the whole post...then I reached the last one.
Zurdaness
Totally worth the read.
chazzykins
The stories about the eagle ceremonies gave me the most patriotic boner I've ever seen.
JimRazes
Lichen on the antlers of Satan
ratammer
There's something in the wi-fi!
TheJuggernaut
First reference to the episode I've seen yet on Imgur. What's happening to the place?!
mufunyo
If you're going to be talking British English, it's italicised, not italicized.
danielsdesk
TIL
UggMcBugg
I used to work in a restaurant doing to-go orders and had the misfortune to say "Bye baby" to no less than FOUR customers.
ImVeronicaCorningstone
If I had a dollar for every time I almost ended a phone call to my boss with "I love you" I'd be so rich I wouldn't need a job anymore
whyarealltheusernamesarealreadytaken
The one about the tea is the truest knowledge of mankind.
KalamazooCircus
I AGREE SO MUCH IM USING CAPS LOCK.
KariTenzer50
at my eagle ceremony, the glorious bird didn't show up, instead, a beer truck did. I'm Irish.
SirQuaffler
Dammit, why is the Eagle Ceremony not a real thing!? I mean we Eagle Scouts have one, but c'mon, it's just not the same...
The0perative
If Eaglce Scouts actually got to have an eagle at their ceremony, I would have become an Eagle Scout as soon as I could.
Myharoth
I love you
OriginalWadjet
I know.
danielsdesk
Han Solo'd
coffeeholicsanonymous
Are we just going to ignore that the one poster's URL is "queefnation"?
jaymtee
These are quickly becoming the Now CDs of Imgur
ukulelecaitlin
At least it's not Kidz Bop.
Jamblesquack
At least they're good. And not Kidz Bop indeed.
bleh
OPEN UP MY EAGER EYES
meisa1291
'CUZ I'M MR. BRIGHTSIDE!
revolvermouthwash
I am jealous of American Eagle ceremonies. In Canada, we just get a Beaver ceremony on our 16th birthday, and it's co-ed so you share.
Zodi
I thought you'd get moose ceremonies.
revolvermouthwash
21st birthday. A moose is the advanced ceremony; you can't handle moose without experience.
Zodi
Oh. Sounds fun. Can you ride it into glorious battle?
spuddly92
Ahhhh you're taking over imgur and I think I like it.
rvleshrac
If I wanted to read tumblr posts, I WOULDN'T FUCKING BE ON IMGUR.
captainunderpantsisstillmyhero
preach
OriginalWadjet
I think someone should photoshop me onto the giraffe yes.
ipostSINSnotTRAGEDIES
I got my eagle Charizard on 9/11, which made me lose all enthusiasm for him, but I still loved him. He ended up doing a tour in Iraq, (1/3)
ipostSINSnotTRAGEDIES
to be used as a motivational tool for our troops who lost their eagles back in 04, and it changed him. He didn't like loud noises after (2/3
ipostSINSnotTRAGEDIES
that, and began to steal my mom's liquor. He wasn't violent or anything, but it was hard on him. He left me in '10 to find himself. bye Zard
wellarentyouspecial
I almost want to join tumblr, but then I remembered the good posts usually end up on imgur anyway.
fauxsquirrelcoats
good point.
HomosexualTurtle
Exactly!
BeautifulSnooter
I'm going to be honest, I've tried but I have no idea how the fuck to do things.
KimmyGibbler
Same here! I can't get into it. I guess i'll just stick to imgur.
BeautifulSnooter
I can't find any blogs to follow that I can relate to. And I refuse to follow 'justgirlythings'
CaiBurley
My nipples are light red for the joy of having another one of these to read. Yay!
AlmightyBracket
I read "read" as read beause I wanted it to rhyme with red.
CaiBurley
Hm... good idea...
Brunebjarne
I tend to pronounce "read" as "read" as well.
ItsVodkaOnTheRocksDontJudgeMe
That physically hurt me to read... Read. Oh god what have you done?!
Azai
help
CaiBurley
EDIT "My nipples are light red for the joy of having another one read. Yay!" Better?
AlmightyBracket
I approve!
RussianRoulette
Ah, I remember when I got my eagle, Liberty. I was a very tall girl for my age and I worried that the eagle (1)
ordohereticusinquisitor
My Eagle, Ulysses S. Grant, is starting to get a bit old. Which is sad, because she's the best god damn eagle around, and my first.
CinemaSloths
My first eagle I got when I was 12. Named him Uncle Sam. Sweet fella, usually only pecks terrorists.
ukulelecaitlin
I reckon we should have a mighty fine eagle-owner picnic day. Winchester and I will host the festivities and there'll be sweet tea for all.
GingerTheBeard
that sounds like a grand plan, ill make sure Abraham and i make our famous apple pie.
ixana
Can we come too? Capitalism LOVES picnics!
JeepFreak1941
As an Eagle Scout. I am really jelly that I did not think of having a real eagle at my ceremony.
thehammerismybananaforscale
Oh, is your family one of those new progressive AI-eagle only ones? Good on you.
JeepFreak1941
Yeah I got this Eagle program but all it did was make a mechanized cawcaw sound and make very robotic wing movements.
LurkersGottaLurk
Seems like a shame really. I understand why, but nothing beats Teddy. He better then a brother.
RussianRoulette
Would think that I was a post and dig her talons into me. Luckily, Liberty flew in. She was small and had stubby claws (2)
Konoton
This guy is a communist liar. You can see clearly that everyone's first Eagle is de-clawed. Everyone knows this, so this claim of stubby (1)
ordohereticusinquisitor
Frickin commies, trying to steal out thunder, go get yourself a bear and some vodka! That should make you feel better.
Konoton
claws on her eagle is just propaganda. (2)
livebackwards
Filing down the talons of the first eagle instead of removing them is gaining popularity, as it is more humane / doesn't ruin the metaphor.
RussianRoulette
So when she landed upon my head it didn't hurt a bit. She was my best friend, and we would browse pictures on the internet together (3)
RussianRoulette
And laugh at how dumb she was. She lived unusually long for an eagle. I miss her.
ipostSINSnotTRAGEDIES
I call bullshit. You're Russian
theSPECIALhell
How would American Roulette even work?
Zodi
France is Bacon.
thepuppet
Literally laughed so hard.
LovableGoat
Why was that one the funniest thing I have ever read on the internet?
RPJesus
It's like their childhood was an Abbot and Costello routine.
Dareeude
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND IT! :( - please explain
Annithefreak
francis bacon is the one who said that quote but he understood instead france is bacon
Dareeude
Oh.. fuck :)
Zodi
Francis Bacon.
pessla
Yes.
bitshalls
"Knowledge is Power" - Francis Bacon
Dareeude
Oh.. fuck :)