iSellTeenyTinyFireEngineRedBabyCoffins
119253
1765
74
I don't have any pets so here are the chocolates my brother sent me for my birthday about a week ago from US.
Dec 26, 2017 1:58 PM
iSellTeenyTinyFireEngineRedBabyCoffins
119253
1765
74
I don't have any pets so here are the chocolates my brother sent me for my birthday about a week ago from US.
timemac
Your brother is a swell guy. Chocolate tax will do. +1
venomlash
"House of Fun" by Madness is literally about this kind of thing. https://youtu.be/GJ2X9SANsME
andytheape
Who ships American chocolate? Don't think any country makes worse chocolate, he should have just ordered online from whatever country you in
edtwozeronine
You can throw those hershey's products right in the bin.
cacuin
Jack Daniels has a chocolate bar???!?!
LastThoughtsOnWoodyGuthrie
You don't need pets to pay your dog tax or cat tax.
GirdleTurtle
I’m probably dyslexic...I read “my chocolate brother sent me” in the description
AmArschdieRaeuber
That's really close to my first time buying them, too. Amazon all the way now.
iamakagami
Just graduated college, back at home for a few months. My parents now live in a super rural town. I go to the store to buy condoms and /2
iamakagami
I can't find them. Am told I have to go to a special register like for tobacco. I go there and ask the cashier for condoms. She tells me to/
iamakagami
wait, then wants to know my name and family. Apparently thought I was a high schooler (1) I was almost 23 (2) GIVE KIDS THEIR PROTECTION FFS
CaptSchmidtGaming
women like seeing men buying condoms. just gonna throw that out there
HavocWraith
Could I have your brother, please? That whole box looks amazing.
ChuckWeiss
I read this, and had somehow already forgotten that was a chocolate tax after the gift.
HavocWraith
LOL! Excellent, it makes the post all that much better
TheMusicSnob
Personally id say, congrats on the sex
jagenigma
It's retarded that buying condoms is "embarrassing". They're for your STD prevention when having sex. That's all. Why's that embarrassing?
JamesProton
Same reason why some guys get embarrassed buying tampons. They think it's embarrassing but really no one cares.
WolfPrincess69
Because young people having sex is considered taboo, even if they’re trying to be safe about it
Cheomesh
I will eat this Toblerone and I will not pay!
istisnai
Where does your bro find Damak chocolates in the US?
SeriouslyAwkward
At that point it's appropriate to cut your losses and walk out.
ChuckWeiss
Pro tip: don't. Not spreading disease or getting pregnant is worth all the embarrassment in the world.
SeriouslyAwkward
I was trying to imply just get it later at a different location....
ChuckWeiss
Oh, yeah. That's good then.
TheRiffTheRaff
Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.
LastoftheMcKettrickSupplicants
Temba's wife, legs open wide
rusrsdude
I miss those suckers. They're so good.
fullofwastedpotential
I feel like you used them incorrectly
GrossIncandescence
They still make condoms.
WallpaperProblems
It’s the year 2141 the last condom has been used.
ChuckWeiss
Just flip it inside out and use it again. Boom, double your condoms.
MightyShoePrint
And after that just slap it against a corner or post like a pain brush.
WallpaperProblems
It's the year 2141 the last side of the last condom has been used.
Ullala
one time i bought condoms before a date and the cashier (also real cute) said in the most sultry voice "enjoy the the rest if your night"
DickPicEnthusiast
Posh wank FTW.
Blrp0
Did you?
Ullala
oh yeah, we smashed. The data, not the charier. I did consider going back for her though
LunarApocalypse
Gauntlet2013
iAmNature
one time i bought comdoms, and a bunch of college freshmen walked up behind me. They were magnums, they were eye raping me.
julgran
Did you tip your fedora at them?
iAmNature
haha. can tip my beanie.
jarfy
Gold
imadethisaccounttotellyouthis
They asked me if I wanted a bag? I said she wasn't that ugly...
NatsukiIsMyWaifu
Then the whole bus clapped.
OPsFatMom
imadethisaccounttotellyouthis
I think I did you once while playing Call of Duty.
Munnin41
Ill take things that never happened for $100
highfiveskittens
“What’s a joke?” ~ You, 2017
imadethisaccounttotellyouthis
InbredMountain
Did she say it with the typos and grammar mistakes too?
Ullala
Lolno im just shit at typing
linkerson
"Ma'am are you having a stroke?"
TortillaThaHun
Yes, she was a prototype. We're still sorting out some kinks.
ScarletMegaGay
Heh. Kinks.
TortillaThaHun
shallowfool
The first time I bought condoms I was suppose see this girl I knew. So I stop by the pharmacy store before heeding over. So I'm in the (1/?)
ToastDNA
.
shallowfool
Condom aisle, just staring at this wall of condoms. So many kinds to choose from. I'm in this aisle for 5 - 10 minutes looking at all (2/?)
shallowfool
Of them. All of a sudden I hear some laughing. And these two gangsta looking dudes walk up. Theyre like, what's up? You got a date? (3/?)
shallowfool
I'm like, yeah there's this girl I'm going to see. I don't know what to choose. One of them says I got you, and pulls out a roll(4/?)
shallowfool
Of condoms, and breaks me of 4 of them. I'm like hell yeah. I take off. They were magnums. I go see the girl. We're doing our thing(5/?)