Dragon4th
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Been seeing a lot of posts about how girls wish they get comfortable enough to wear certain clothes or go to the gym or wear certain swimming suits. Have seen multiple people say that they wish they were a guy so they wouldn't have to worry about stuff like that.
Well I'm a guy who goes to the gym at 3AM so others won't see me working out, and who goes running and biking everyday after the gym at 430 just so people won't see him on the trails. And now I'm sitting in a hotel room waiting for the people at the pool to leave so I can go down there with my family and enjoy the pool. I've been loosing weight and have lost over 40 lbs already, but I'm still constantly afraid people are silently judging me by my weight. I love swimming and we were all about to head down, but we can see the pool from our hotel room and there are people there, so now I'm too scared to go down and my wife and kids and I are all waiting for them to leave. I wish I felt more comfortable, but it is hard for me to relax when I'm worried people are making fun of me. . . Update: ended up going to the pool after waiting 30 minutes and the people not leaving. Left shortly after getting there because they were using a lot of profanity (didn't want my kids hearing that) and they yelled 'you got a problem with our F***ing language gorilla man?' When I told my kids we were leaving. (I am also very hairy and self conscious about that also). Glad I went down and I know I should of gone sooner. I realize most people aren't like that, one jerk just happened to be there. . . Edit: front page! Is this what it feels like to be famous?! Seriously people, don't be mean, not everyone is comfortable with who they are. If you cant go out in public without being a jerk you should just stay inside all day. And send whatever you send people that get in front page! I don't know proper IMGUR edict yet.
frostybox
@OP as a fat chick who is extremely self conscious, sometimes you just have to have fun, maybe not forget why you're there
lonelyforsakentorturedheart
At least you'd still have your wife and family, I'm too self conscious to even socialize with people.
LimbMechanic
Hold your head high OP. Many refuse the make the effort to improve their health. The intrinsic and extrinsic rewards are well worth it.
Nofuture123
For me it was simple. This is my one shot at life. There's no second chance. Do I want to waste my limited time constantly doing for others?
ZachCoates
Once you can simply say fuck it and live your life it's becomes so much better
sparklefartsprinkles
Assholes will always be assholes, even if you looked like Prince Charming they would find something to pick on. They're the flawed ones.
Primotimewaster
Please talk to the hotel mgt about the pool asshole. No one should be subjected to boorish behavior! You & your fam should enjoy swimming!
FoxKeegan
This. They follow the damn rules, or you get compensated by the hotel for failing to provide an atmosphere they likely agreed to in contract
FoxKeegan
The only thing that has ever helped me was "People are so self-absorbed these days they probably don't even see me."
Chereazi
As someone who had that feeling for a while, try to power trough it. You get used to it surprisingly fast, even if you have huge lows in
Chereazi
between. Fuck them, you do you, you do whatever the hell you want!
GnarredGnarly
Don't forget that guys will also be insecure if they are too skinny as well.
canibFrank
I'm a guy, @ 25 lbs overweight. I rarely go shirtless, wear a t-shirt on the beach but when my kids are swimming, I go in with them w/o (1)
Dragon4th
Made me smile! Thanks
canibFrank
a shirt because screw it, they're my kids and if I'm swimming, I'm not wearing a shirt. Let your freak flag fly.
ThatGuyWhoThinksEveryoneIsAPineapple
Oh, give me a break. Half the posts on this website are about guys doing exactly that.
maststick
You know what. We're not judging you because we're too busy judging ourselves. And anyone excising instead of the sofa we salute you!
byllman
Sorry to hear that, OP. I've been overweight for a long time. Here's an emergency tacticle hug:
v
Dragon4th
Haven't seen that one before! Thanks
byllman
You're welcome! And I can't believe nobody called me out on misspelling tactical... dreams really do come true! :-)
Zixtank
Tell the staff if people are acting like this. Pools are public, whch means it's mandatory to act civil.
WilwoWaggins
Yup, even when you see others in worse shape not seeming to be bothered by it. Sucks being sensitive sometimes.
LuckiestGirlAlive
Agree.
Dragon4th
Exactly
dwilson0725
I'm a fat hairy dude. Swim with in laws. Her brothers wife likes to crack the no sweater in the pool joke. She's a bitch.
MrBassoonBro
I would just like you to know that people who makes fun of weight, probably is very insecure about their own weight.
mfrostenson53000
I respect you hairy Dragon man
josethemailman
Confidence allows the wearer any body type.
Esdog
My wife calls me the great white ape, also the unincredible hulk
ThatsJustNasty
Most of life will be spent either working or doing things you have to live. It's too short to deprive yourself of joy and fun.
Fenderzilla
When I see a heavy person working out, I admire them. I don't look down on them. That shit's hard.
TrapsAreIllegal
Just go look at /r/amiugly /r/amisexy /r/rateme etc - more guys than women post and they are often more insecure about nothing.
Clearcount
Even though your not alone in this it suck as still feeling like you are and also that maybe you might not be living your life because of it
Peppar
You're passing that insecurity on to your kids. Be a better husband and father and make this about their enjoyment.
CyanideSynn1221
Yeah, I like wearing 2 pieces because I like having my tattoos visible, but this year I just didn't have the courage. Losing the weight >
CyanideSynn1221
Hard but great job op! Good on ya for not letting that jerk get to you.
Berrycuda
You will find people aren't judging you at the gym, they might even give you some tips.
Likeasambodii
Yes, @OP, I know lots of athletes and they all love to see overweight people at the gym, many of the people you think are judging you are 1/
Likeasambodii
2/ actually proud.
Dragon4th
I have had a lot of positive feed back from the gym. Still hard because I see myself as fat and feel that's how others see me
SelfawareFetus
Jesus. Everyone is self conscious. Its called being a human being and is not related to whether you have a snaaab or a fnifenheimer.
drswift
'Get over it' is the best advice for men and women. I'm "beta" and women seem to only see "alphas" and extrapolate that all men are that way
drswift
In other words, men put up with the same alpha behavior that you see from men and also do not like
drswift
But in the end, the best thing you can do for yourself is let go of your insecurities. Nobody is judging as harshly as you think
Likeasambodii
I thought you were about to quote Linkin Park for a sec lol. But beta and alpha is mental, you are what you believe you are. 1/
Likeasambodii
2/ But you have to truly believe it.
Pacifistic
As a person who judges others, if it's not weight there's definitely something else to pick out. Sweating that shit is pointless, yo.
GuardsmanMiku
Nah man weight does matter if you're proper fat (like enough that it visibly bulges out over a loose shirt)
Flyndaran
People that judge you poorly just because of weight would be dicks in so many other ways that you shouldn't want them in your lives anyway.
drswift
I think his point is not that people don't judge weight, but rather, if weight is not a problem something else is. "Fuck'em," works.
GuardsmanMiku
i guess my comment is a bit misplaced, since they're trying to make OP less self conscious. 1/2
GuardsmanMiku
What I meant was weight is the main thing people get at, and even then only if you really overweight 2/2
GuardsmanMiku
In general guys have less clothing/makeup to worry about, but the self consciousness is still just as bad.
Flyndaran
"You're sweating buckets running. Why not take off your shirt? You're a guy." (I would put a shirt on before fleeing a burning building.)
Dragon4th
I feel the same way as the other two. I feel like I have to be skinny and have defined mussels and I have to be naturally handsome no makeup
storebrandproductmascot
As a guy, I feel like society cares maybe 10% as much about my appearance as it does about women's appearances. At best.
Madsvg
Last time I went to buy a shirt I had to pass through most of the store to find something that's not Slim fit. Slim fit is expected now.
poughdrew
As a 6'2" skinny male with hollow lower back and low self esteem, are you telling me slim fit is finally mainstream????
minkuschild
If I, as a male, could paint on a second more attractive face, and be socially accepted.... tables would turn as well as heads.
confuzzledtuna
You can. Look at Korean boy bands.. so pretty
Kooks
You say that, but imagine having to do that everyday else someone says "you look tired." I agree that it's nice makeup makes you look better
GuardsmanMiku
yeh that's true, an anti-makeup stance has its ups and downs
BigAZNMan
I mean you can, but certain guys might start getting creepy around you.
Kooks
However, keep in mind that women are held to a higher beauty standard than men. (In terms of upholding appearance)
usersubbordercontrol
Really though? As a guy, I'm really self conscious thinking of how I look. There's no makeup allowed or concealer. Pimples sucked. Scars too
Macewindow54
but men have to maintain a greater all around image
ThatNoPicklePeeThatNoPumpARum
What.
Macewindow54
If a girl is pretty its good enough but a guy has be maintain more than physical appearance under traditional standards.
jjm152
1/ 2 He's saying that women are attracted to men who have money, some form of power and confidence.
Noob3rts
Women worry about things like beauty, weight and shit like that but if you think guys don't, you are insane. Most women can get laid very
Noob3rts
(4) very inconsequential at times. I'm glad that things are changing and more things like depression or autism are getting awareness but
Noob3rts
(3) at times because we cannot show our true feelings because if we do we get laughed at, ridiculed or told to grow up. It makes us feel
Noob3rts
(2) easily, even if they are not "the best looking" but guys looking the same wouldn't stand a chance in hell. It's really tough to be a guy
Noob3rts
(5) still it blows ass when you fall into a category like that and have nobody to talk to.
TobySomething
Sorry you don't have someone to talk to. World can be tough for everyone and we all should. I don't think women have it easy though 1/2
TobySomething
in that their perceived worth is based more on their appearance from a young age. And being able to get laid at a bar etc isn't that great
Noob3rts
Oh no, I never meant that women have it easy. I just meant that men have it tough as well but for different reasons that go overlooked.
SilverwingPrime
Gender/sex is a shit sandwich no matter which end you end up taking a bite from.
TobySomething
Fair enough. Good luck out there
FoxKeegan
I love how people are like "Don't sweat it!" as if that magically fixes ANY mental issues someone has ever had.
otiumCatulli
They're not trying to fix it, they're trying to cheer you up/show that it doesn't alter their friendship for you. They're trying.
mookiedoi360
Well yeah but the words alone are not magical words. I guess its more about training the thought process behind the words
heatmaster28
I kinda just take it as "I don't know how to deal with this, so here is something that I find comforting"
CosgroveShumway
Smile! Cheer up! If only it was that simple.
ATypicalImgurName
Its slightly missing the point tho. When they say: smile, and cheer up, its really about the mentality of thinking your problemfree.
carrionstorm
I understand this point completely. But stopping myself form giving a fuck has let me muddle through a lot of hard issues.
carrionstorm
Not saying it's healthy or will work for anybody else. I'm not a scienceer of brains
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FoxKeegan
There are a great many things in life that are easy others make sound difficult. Your own mind fighting against you is not one of these
FoxKeegan
"Do what makes you happy" These words alone clearly indicate you do not understand depression. Go do some research, or remain ignorant.
Flyndaran
Don't be a fucking pussy and man up. Seriously. Stop having cancer. Just walk on that broken leg.
Iliekbirbs
I've been trying to deal with my depression for almost 2 months now. And was told by my friend "You'll get over it". When he asked what
NoCreativity3
A friend of mine told me that a few years ago. Until I showed him the shotgun i just bought for myself.
FoxKeegan
To each their own. I don't wanna be another gun death statistic. Exit bag sounds better anyway.
Iliekbirbs
was wrong with me.
ryanjoseph666
Yeah people don't understand it at all. I hope things improve for you.
unitedstateoftexas
Hey buddy get 25 OH vitamin D levels tested. Supplement D3 if you're under 40ng/ml. Be sure to supp vita B complex ~regularly~. Mag as well.
unitedstateoftexas
I know it sounds out of left field but vitamin D is a hormone which has systemic impact on your functions. It is the hibernation signal.
FoxKeegan
This. Also, diet. We're all very complex, and diff stuff can cause diff things. S'why there's no magic bulle--er...pill.
FoxKeegan
I've also heard super low-carb diets help some. Exercise others. It's just hard to gauge 'mood' quantitatively and track over long periods
TheDevilsJester
Same situation here. Think small steps, go for a walk for 5-10 minutes, clean a room of the house, anything to feel proud of.
TheDevilsJester
It takes a while but you will find that you can do more, try and figure out your escape, and try and lessen your reliance upon it.
shibbytothelibby
Breaking down tasks in to smaller parts is great advice.
Dragon4th
Depression sucks I play the 'thank you game' when you start feeling down name 10 things your thankful for and why your thankful for them
Iliekbirbs
I will have to try that. Thank you @OP :)
Feanor19
15 years myself. Still haven't. Semi on topic I got multiple torn tendons in my foot and went to the pool today. Asked why I wasn't swimming
Feanor19
I explained. Was told to suck it up for a day. Do people not understand basic shit? Been limping for 2 months. Sure let's fuck that up more
Feanor19
Back to topic in a similar vein. When people get pissed at you for your depression or call you selfish because of it it's just making it
Feanor19
Worse. Especially when you don't want to talk about it to someone who acts that way. Personal prefer someone to just hang out for a night
FoxKeegan
There are a LOT of stupid people out there. 'Basic', one might say. They neither understand nor care and I'm at least thankful I have no 1/
FoxKeegan
issues dismissing those kinds of comments. At least I have to take off some clothes to be judged. They just open their mouths.