cerberus63
159262
3177
129
NWA
TellMeImAGoodGirl
Stoned like a cheating muslim woman got me. +1
anonymoose6
Fake and gay, +1
Voltair
#9 Fake as fuuuuck.
KIAZENslayer
I have never understood the “did something super embarrassing person asked if I was ok never talk to person again” like that would be great
JARKB
Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
IBuiltAFreakingArk
#19 it ends with "discuss", this is a typo, the correct translation is "disgust"
One8updude
Gonna have an M&M tournament tonight!!
FourWindBadger
The founding fathers one was epic we should all keep a musket,pistol and Canon for that
Juddernaught
The Julius Caesar one...
DickDynasty
unpunnyfuns
Can confirm, bayonet training includes making a triangle to ensure fatal wounds. Not stitches, just ALL the organs.
cowpaca
That shreck one... whoa
AlphaTwin1
The shark one had me in a good ol’ wrinkle
gosanostra
literally none of that is true
TheGreyKnightsBANNED
#2 skyrim isn't that realistic Is it....
AmericanButProbablyAmerishouldnt
not realistic but the NPCs have tasks to run on certain days, I used to do stuff like this with my Vampire assassin khajiit.
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Chattafaukup
Fallout 3 was. Id assume skyrim was too.
HotToTheDogs
#12 I heard someone on a tower block balcony shout "Woop woop" to which I replied "It's the sound of da police" we engaged in lyrics 1/2
HotToTheDogs
Tennis for about half the song, that shit was fun 2/2
J0onA
Three fiddy made me lol
NineByNine
4chan greentext post rule number 1: If it's greentext, it didn't fucking happen.
Brhino
The M&M one doesn't work. Both M&Ms get damaged, there is no "winner". Yes, I've tried.
cerberus63
Then they have diluted the gene pool. Our work must begin again. We will breed the perfect one.
CursingAtTheCompiler
Can sombody explain wtf for a game #10 is
cerberus63
What is it referencing, you mean? South park. The loch ness monster.
SometimesIsitAndThinkSometimesIjustSit
“Stoned like a cheating muslim woman” +1
TobiOfTheAkatsuki
Not even the Greentext Adventure of the Psychopath Plague Doctor's search for Medieval Bitcoins?
cerberus63
That will be coming. That is the next dump.
SuperSaiyanBlueGoku
"Tally hoe lads"
Yaysh
Reminds me of 'Colonel' Jimmy from Hardcore Henry- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFqVJ9-AbwQ (he comes in at about 1:48)
cerberus63
That is my all time favorite greentext. It gets me everytime.
AmericanSatan
Idc if these are real of fake but my all time favorite green text is the Domino's Morgan Freeman story. Look it up if you haven't read it.
ZOMGNO
On 4chan: "Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact"
Cyanide555
Mine rarely gets posted but its an amazingly well written story about pooping in a mall toilet
Zanthy
That DnD one had me in tears
MericanFunkYeah
Same, hadn't seen that one before.
Gevoloholobodoyo
Greentexts always make me chuckle, but that one had me struggling to read bc my eyes were basically shut from laughing so hard. Fuckin A+
borgmaster
Are you sure it just wasnt in anticipation of that weird noise in the corner?
cerberus63
My mind immediately made it into a stereotypical horror movie trailer. Some young person: "he's always there, always watching but (1)
cerberus63
Whatever you do... Don't look. " cue horror scenes and fapping noises. COMING THIS FALL: THE FAPBARIAN.
TheGrinchStoleYourShit
You forgot one.
Falkrana
Wtf why
SwolMongrel
Yeah...
benignuser
cerberus63
Yaysh
MedicinestickMan
Rossovich
... WHY?!
BigAZNMan
can't jippa the dippa!
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ZOMGNO
So awful, every time. +1 again
xmac1x
I am Karl!!!
awildcharmander
*keks softly*
Zaranthan
King of Ducks!
PouLiang
That one gets me everytime!
djsdkdjsk
that pigeon one where OP was nice to some, but a ass to others, and they had a war
PouLiang
Sauce?
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PouLiang
I didnt know I needes this in my life until now. Thank you lol
plasmabomb551
It was crows I remember, it's my favourite green text.