Aug 27, 2022 7:03 PM
Devi8tor
158603
1771
21
whistlebuzz
NoIWillNotFixYourComputerWhenIComeOverForDinner
*boop*
verbeckpaul1960
You couldn’t get me within 50ft of a tiger shark in open water! That shark can turn on a dime and attack in a split second ???
CyborgScribe
Hence why it's important to be polite but firm when declining a taste test.
arednecksquirel
ExaDeuce
Its a lot easier to deflect a shark than I would have thought
myballshurt
A fucking tiger shark
dustpirate
wow...this is pretty amazing <3
FTRek
Notice how he blinks the moment he gets touched.
effingrayofsunshine
I knooow! So cute!!
CommanderandMaster
He's probably going to have to clean that brick of shit out of his suit
Rayplays
v
NotaCPA
Judging by the hips and front lumps...that's a woman. Probably freaked out the shark when it touched it too cuz seals don't try that shit
Rman12
That's a fare sized tiger.
InvalidUserCredentials
I'm pretty sure that's a shark, the fact that it's in the ocean is a bit of a giveaway.
Jest3r123
Hahahaha.
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
That’s the face of “I ain’t fucking with nothing that willing to fuck with me”
Groose
The person handled that with experience, she guided the shark woth her hand on its nose
snaggletoof
I would have filled my wetsuit...
fourooohfour
?1
ImAD0g
G081
that shark was curious not hungry this encounter
JustBoone
He was just curious, even blinked when the diver booped his nose lol.
Bludabeagle
"ITS a TIGER, Man, a TIGER....Fuckin TIGER!!!" - Apocalypse Now
LaffertyDanie1
Get rotated idiot
MrMilkTime
Love how someone found a cheat code to perfect killing machines
ThatAttitude
I love this comment. Exist since the dinosaurs. Perfect predator. Get rotated like an idiot.
I'll be honest, I'm shocked I was the first to make it.
SirSage
There's the only applicable comment!
sublime053
YoureWaifuAShit
the earthbound music makes it even more perfect
forgotiwasfine
Turn me right round baby
Toby9
Anyone know what kind of shark that is?
Tiger
LegendaryGarf
Tiger by the markings but I’m no expert
quagma
A curious selechian encounters a mysterious mammal, both meeting near the edges of their respective realms. Wetlist go tag aqua
Successfully tagged 125 users.
cfsingers
Noooooooooo
caldella
This might be Mermaid.Kayleigh from Tik-Tok, who actually gives tips on avoiding getting bitten/marked as prey by sharks. She's got guts.
CarlottaVonSprockett
I figured it was Ocean Ramsey, who does ocean conservation. She dives with sharks a LOT.
In case anyone wants another "shit my pants" video: https://www.tiktok.com/@andriana_marine/video/7134362770379902254 because holy shit.
StarMan9090
It's not like you can outrun the shark. Good thing shark was not hungry atm
Out swim*
killertomato842
Sharks attacking humans is actually pretty rare, and when you touch the snoot it signals that you are not it's food of choice
Canadoug
You could definitely out run a shark.
What about a land shark?
imasneakypineapplehead
It’s a decent beer in my opinion, light not too strong. Good for the pool or lake
redtails2649
If he wanted a bite? He’d hit at about 30 mph. Here? He’s just curious
AngryKoboldWithSomeGlasses
Irc Sharks take test bites out of things often, but pushong their nose awaybis enough to deter that as thr nose is full of receptors
FelixATR
She*. No claspers
Fluffnblood
hesbeginningtobelieve
That’s great whites that go full speed straight up. This is a tiger sharks. But with both great whites and tiger sharks, attacks on humans/
Will normally be an exploratory bite. So just cruisin’ and curious.
sirfanciesadrought
And how damaging would this exploratory bite be?
Shorty5560
A nibble for the shark, chunk out of your leg... the exploratory nature means you can do the above though. If they're hungry though...
16bitStarbuck
Exactly, when humans are vertical they really confuse sharks, and when they don’t flee or attack shark just wonders about potential equal
darxide
As long as you don't act like prey or a threat, sharks will mostly just be curious about you.
Mumbly73
Mostly
tzahtman
"you got any games on that phone?"
SkittlesPower
How does one not act like prey when there’s an alpha predator approaching with home field advantage?
FlyingButtPliers
Don't run. Almost every predator is hard wired to chase what runs from it. If you don't run you must not be food.
If you see the shark coming, it's either 1) too late or 2) you weren't acting like prey. So you don't act like prey before you ever see it.
Change from horizontal to vertical position, reach towards it slowly, you show you aren’t fleeing but you also aren’t a threat, but ->
to the shark it wonders if you could be a predator since you aren’t fleeing, but no need for it to flee, it goes into “inspect equal mode”
hjonpaprique
Sharks are cute as heck
mintakka
Half billion year old killing machines
Jexman41
That shark looks amazing for their age.
Jijinumerounodriver2
Are we really sure that's its final form?
Thats what I mean - mammals (land animals period!) didn’t even exist when sharks evolved. And they’ve barely changed bc they already perfect
BernieMittens
burntcustard
Sharks are more chill than lions tho
CasualBoulder
Are they? Both predators seem pretty chill when they're not hungry.
Hypothesist
sweetandsmokey
The things you do to impress the ladies.
DestinyPrevails
Okay, so that screams zoo safety violation, but how dumb do you have to be to deliberately annoy a lion, then offer your fingers as a snack?
Deggies
That's a lot of tendon!
Jimbo64
Thanks. I hate it.
ZebraCockSandwich
yup, I knew he was gonna lose that finger, but the tendon flinging out made me cringe extra hard.
rmsrmsrms38
This is still safer than when your wife says nothing wrong. Fact.
can i go shark diving? wfie: fine, do what ever you want
DonL9
Beware, "no nothing's wrong, it's fine. Go ahead and do whatever you want."
datphone777365
Or what? Gona force me to not sleep in a bed i helped pay for? Nah.
My ex wife was like that. Awful communicator. Found somebody who actually can communicate why they are upset and it's sooo nice.
Its great when ya get with someone who grew out of middle school.
Mnaaah if she cant articulate her issue it stays her issue, if i ask and thats what ya answer then thats how ya are.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
The main reason women do this is because they've already said what's wrong, and nothing's changed. So why bother.
What if whats wrong is you having time with your friends/hobby and she want to monopolize your time instead? A complaint isnt always fair.
That's true, and that's why I said it's the main reason and not the only reason. If your partner is unreasonable then that's a separate /1
issue you have to work out. /2
Communication and fair expectations need work in relationships. Its wild how peeps are afraid of either in em.
the reaction of two married men reading this comment and the one divorced guy in the back...
FreshWater13
ok boomer
louster
Oh hey one of those "lol women am i rite" jokes.
If it aint that its incel jokes. Almost like every side gets shat on aye?
I've never once in my fucking life felt like an incel joke was referring to me. You sure it's every side and not you?
Lol see there it is lmao.
Updoot for the back up there.
levelfivedetentionblockaa23
fl3d3rk4tz3
Are her legs not worth as much as her hands?
Menace2Propriety
Can't boop the snoot with leggies
PTNLemay
So do they have no instinct to flinch upwards and bite? Like a cat or dog can do. They just... Flop and move away if you boop them?
byronape
What's wrong with me that I'm more flipped out about the size of her flippers than I am the shark?
BTanner13000
Funny, that was my thought too. And I thought my Cressi fins were long
theyear1500
If you look closely you can see a shark in this clip.
KittensForDays
I mean holy fucking shit
InnocentIntentionsTurnedBad
The shark is just trying to get a view we all have
sixseasonsandamov1e
I don't get this shit. I'm sure she's trained. It's still stupid. It would take a ridiculous amount of money to get me in that water.
ProfessorDumbass
She knows its not hungry after eating those other three guys
To the shark she doesn’t make sense. The verticality and tracking the shark, no flight response, extends towards the shark as it->
NCPBullet
Not to mention their snouts are extremely sensitive to touch and EMC. Having a hand put there even gently is a confusing experience at best
approaches. None of these are things that would make sense to the shark, so it is being cautious as the human could be a predator
Icecreaman
They do seem more curious than anything on approach
Deoxyribonucleicacidwashedgenes
The shark is still a predator though: you can't confuse a grizzly to leave you alone. I'm sure I'm missing something but that's nuts.
Imagine you’re the toughest guy in the street and everyone cowers, but then someone just quiet innocent happy wanders through ->
OldSchoolNewRules
Yeah, grizzly bears aren't sharks.
Freemage69
Don't think you deserve downvotes--you're not being offensive, just stating a personal view and even a willingness to consider more data.
ElectricUncleD
I’m equally scared and aroused by this
Kakhtus
Same. Sharks are hot af.
Chandler, is that you?
FriendlyNeighborhoodGrammarPerson
What kind of shark is that?
awesomeoldguy
Looks like a tiger from the spots on it
MrScud
This is under appreciated
IWasGoingToMakeEspresso
You can also tell from the tail fin.
Are you a seal? I like seals...can I just try a taste test? No..oh ok..seals don't say no.
moboden
Do not eat if seal is broken.
OMFGWhatHaveWeDONE
wadatahmydamie
When actual wild animals respect consent better than Republicans
VaultGirl69
Consent is a very important part of shark culture.
BenderBenderBender
“I just wanted my snoot booped.”
Guy0185
wisher1977
Yeah there’s a whole lot of FUCK THAT going on there!
KillerTofu69
Speaking of, what to Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
They both appreciate a tight seal.
Aforaseem
TheIceHorse
Settle down there, Deep
I feel like “appreciate” makes the joke feel forced
BarbedWireCatheter
That keeps with the original joke’s theme, when you phrase it as you did
The original joke sucks too, for the same reason
insongwhang
If I did this, the water wouldn't be that clear.
lazytitan88
You need to drink more water then!
Unrelated to this, but you're not wrong.
BatsArentBugs
Homie, you can poop in a wet suit and it stays with you 100%. Trust me.
Marokh
Not if the shark bites your ass off
Eleshar24
The shark: is it blood I smell in the water? or am I having a stronk?
taurondir
If you piss in the water first that just adds extra flavor to your carcass
WhyDoesItSmellLikeThat
Would be a shade of brown then shades of dark red.
Brown
ThatOneGuyWhoDidThatOneThingAtThatOnePlaceThatOneTime
Yellow?
LordOfAllImgur
Red probably
Flowerlady0
Don't bite the shark
Totallyscrewedinaustin
Erik9001
Red
diarrhea
TheNamesAshHousewares
Chachacha
whistlebuzz
NoIWillNotFixYourComputerWhenIComeOverForDinner
*boop*
verbeckpaul1960
You couldn’t get me within 50ft of a tiger shark in open water! That shark can turn on a dime and attack in a split second ???
CyborgScribe
Hence why it's important to be polite but firm when declining a taste test.
arednecksquirel
ExaDeuce
Its a lot easier to deflect a shark than I would have thought
myballshurt
A fucking tiger shark
dustpirate
wow...this is pretty amazing <3
FTRek
Notice how he blinks the moment he gets touched.
effingrayofsunshine
I knooow! So cute!!
CommanderandMaster
He's probably going to have to clean that brick of shit out of his suit
Rayplays
NotaCPA
Judging by the hips and front lumps...that's a woman. Probably freaked out the shark when it touched it too cuz seals don't try that shit
Rman12
That's a fare sized tiger.
InvalidUserCredentials
I'm pretty sure that's a shark, the fact that it's in the ocean is a bit of a giveaway.
Jest3r123
Hahahaha.
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
That’s the face of “I ain’t fucking with nothing that willing to fuck with me”
Groose
The person handled that with experience, she guided the shark woth her hand on its nose
snaggletoof
I would have filled my wetsuit...
fourooohfour
ImAD0g
G081
that shark was curious not hungry this encounter
JustBoone
He was just curious, even blinked when the diver booped his nose lol.
Bludabeagle
"ITS a TIGER, Man, a TIGER....Fuckin TIGER!!!" - Apocalypse Now
LaffertyDanie1
Get rotated idiot
MrMilkTime
Love how someone found a cheat code to perfect killing machines
ThatAttitude
I love this comment. Exist since the dinosaurs. Perfect predator. Get rotated like an idiot.
LaffertyDanie1
I'll be honest, I'm shocked I was the first to make it.
SirSage
There's the only applicable comment!
sublime053
YoureWaifuAShit
the earthbound music makes it even more perfect
LaffertyDanie1
forgotiwasfine
Turn me right round baby
Toby9
Anyone know what kind of shark that is?
Rman12
Tiger
LegendaryGarf
Tiger by the markings but I’m no expert
quagma
A curious selechian encounters a mysterious mammal, both meeting near the edges of their respective realms. Wetlist go tag aqua
quagma
Successfully tagged 125 users.
cfsingers
Noooooooooo
caldella
This might be Mermaid.Kayleigh from Tik-Tok, who actually gives tips on avoiding getting bitten/marked as prey by sharks. She's got guts.
CarlottaVonSprockett
I figured it was Ocean Ramsey, who does ocean conservation. She dives with sharks a LOT.
caldella
In case anyone wants another "shit my pants" video: https://www.tiktok.com/@andriana_marine/video/7134362770379902254 because holy shit.
StarMan9090
It's not like you can outrun the shark. Good thing shark was not hungry atm
Toby9
Out swim*
killertomato842
Sharks attacking humans is actually pretty rare, and when you touch the snoot it signals that you are not it's food of choice
Canadoug
You could definitely out run a shark.
ThatAttitude
What about a land shark?
imasneakypineapplehead
It’s a decent beer in my opinion, light not too strong. Good for the pool or lake
redtails2649
If he wanted a bite? He’d hit at about 30 mph. Here? He’s just curious
AngryKoboldWithSomeGlasses
Irc Sharks take test bites out of things often, but pushong their nose awaybis enough to deter that as thr nose is full of receptors
FelixATR
She*. No claspers
Fluffnblood
hesbeginningtobelieve
That’s great whites that go full speed straight up. This is a tiger sharks. But with both great whites and tiger sharks, attacks on humans/
hesbeginningtobelieve
Will normally be an exploratory bite. So just cruisin’ and curious.
sirfanciesadrought
And how damaging would this exploratory bite be?
Shorty5560
A nibble for the shark, chunk out of your leg... the exploratory nature means you can do the above though. If they're hungry though...
16bitStarbuck
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
Exactly, when humans are vertical they really confuse sharks, and when they don’t flee or attack shark just wonders about potential equal
darxide
As long as you don't act like prey or a threat, sharks will mostly just be curious about you.
Mumbly73
Mostly
tzahtman
"you got any games on that phone?"
SkittlesPower
How does one not act like prey when there’s an alpha predator approaching with home field advantage?
FlyingButtPliers
Don't run. Almost every predator is hard wired to chase what runs from it. If you don't run you must not be food.
darxide
If you see the shark coming, it's either 1) too late or 2) you weren't acting like prey. So you don't act like prey before you ever see it.
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
Change from horizontal to vertical position, reach towards it slowly, you show you aren’t fleeing but you also aren’t a threat, but ->
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
to the shark it wonders if you could be a predator since you aren’t fleeing, but no need for it to flee, it goes into “inspect equal mode”
hjonpaprique
Sharks are cute as heck
mintakka
Half billion year old killing machines
Jexman41
That shark looks amazing for their age.
Jijinumerounodriver2
Are we really sure that's its final form?
mintakka
Thats what I mean - mammals (land animals period!) didn’t even exist when sharks evolved. And they’ve barely changed bc they already perfect
BernieMittens
burntcustard
Sharks are more chill than lions tho
CasualBoulder
Are they? Both predators seem pretty chill when they're not hungry.
Hypothesist
sweetandsmokey
The things you do to impress the ladies.
DestinyPrevails
Okay, so that screams zoo safety violation, but how dumb do you have to be to deliberately annoy a lion, then offer your fingers as a snack?
Deggies
That's a lot of tendon!
Hypothesist
Hypothesist
Jimbo64
Thanks. I hate it.
ZebraCockSandwich
yup, I knew he was gonna lose that finger, but the tendon flinging out made me cringe extra hard.
rmsrmsrms38
This is still safer than when your wife says nothing wrong. Fact.
Hypothesist
can i go shark diving? wfie: fine, do what ever you want
DonL9
Beware, "no nothing's wrong, it's fine. Go ahead and do whatever you want."
datphone777365
Or what? Gona force me to not sleep in a bed i helped pay for? Nah.
FlyingButtPliers
My ex wife was like that. Awful communicator. Found somebody who actually can communicate why they are upset and it's sooo nice.
datphone777365
Its great when ya get with someone who grew out of middle school.
datphone777365
Mnaaah if she cant articulate her issue it stays her issue, if i ask and thats what ya answer then thats how ya are.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
The main reason women do this is because they've already said what's wrong, and nothing's changed. So why bother.
datphone777365
What if whats wrong is you having time with your friends/hobby and she want to monopolize your time instead? A complaint isnt always fair.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
That's true, and that's why I said it's the main reason and not the only reason. If your partner is unreasonable then that's a separate /1
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
issue you have to work out. /2
datphone777365
Communication and fair expectations need work in relationships. Its wild how peeps are afraid of either in em.
NotaCPA
the reaction of two married men reading this comment and the one divorced guy in the back...
FreshWater13
ok boomer
louster
Oh hey one of those "lol women am i rite" jokes.
datphone777365
If it aint that its incel jokes. Almost like every side gets shat on aye?
Deggies
I've never once in my fucking life felt like an incel joke was referring to me. You sure it's every side and not you?
datphone777365
Lol see there it is lmao.
datphone777365
Updoot for the back up there.
levelfivedetentionblockaa23
fl3d3rk4tz3
Are her legs not worth as much as her hands?
Menace2Propriety
Can't boop the snoot with leggies
PTNLemay
So do they have no instinct to flinch upwards and bite? Like a cat or dog can do. They just... Flop and move away if you boop them?
byronape
What's wrong with me that I'm more flipped out about the size of her flippers than I am the shark?
BTanner13000
Funny, that was my thought too. And I thought my Cressi fins were long
theyear1500
If you look closely you can see a shark in this clip.
KittensForDays
I mean holy fucking shit
InnocentIntentionsTurnedBad
The shark is just trying to get a view we all have
sixseasonsandamov1e
I don't get this shit. I'm sure she's trained. It's still stupid. It would take a ridiculous amount of money to get me in that water.
ProfessorDumbass
She knows its not hungry after eating those other three guys
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
To the shark she doesn’t make sense. The verticality and tracking the shark, no flight response, extends towards the shark as it->
NCPBullet
Not to mention their snouts are extremely sensitive to touch and EMC. Having a hand put there even gently is a confusing experience at best
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
approaches. None of these are things that would make sense to the shark, so it is being cautious as the human could be a predator
Icecreaman
They do seem more curious than anything on approach
Deoxyribonucleicacidwashedgenes
The shark is still a predator though: you can't confuse a grizzly to leave you alone. I'm sure I'm missing something but that's nuts.
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
Imagine you’re the toughest guy in the street and everyone cowers, but then someone just quiet innocent happy wanders through ->
OldSchoolNewRules
Yeah, grizzly bears aren't sharks.
Freemage69
Don't think you deserve downvotes--you're not being offensive, just stating a personal view and even a willingness to consider more data.
ElectricUncleD
I’m equally scared and aroused by this
Kakhtus
Same. Sharks are hot af.
sirfanciesadrought
Chandler, is that you?
FriendlyNeighborhoodGrammarPerson
What kind of shark is that?
awesomeoldguy
Looks like a tiger from the spots on it
levelfivedetentionblockaa23
MrScud
This is under appreciated
levelfivedetentionblockaa23
IWasGoingToMakeEspresso
You can also tell from the tail fin.
ProfessorDumbass
Are you a seal? I like seals...can I just try a taste test? No..oh ok..seals don't say no.
moboden
Do not eat if seal is broken.
OMFGWhatHaveWeDONE
wadatahmydamie
When actual wild animals respect consent better than Republicans
VaultGirl69
Consent is a very important part of shark culture.
BenderBenderBender
“I just wanted my snoot booped.”
Guy0185
wisher1977
Yeah there’s a whole lot of FUCK THAT going on there!
KillerTofu69
Speaking of, what to Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
KillerTofu69
They both appreciate a tight seal.
Aforaseem
TheIceHorse
Settle down there, Deep
wadatahmydamie
I feel like “appreciate” makes the joke feel forced
BarbedWireCatheter
That keeps with the original joke’s theme, when you phrase it as you did
wadatahmydamie
The original joke sucks too, for the same reason
insongwhang
If I did this, the water wouldn't be that clear.
lazytitan88
You need to drink more water then!
insongwhang
Unrelated to this, but you're not wrong.
BatsArentBugs
Homie, you can poop in a wet suit and it stays with you 100%. Trust me.
Marokh
Not if the shark bites your ass off
Eleshar24
The shark: is it blood I smell in the water? or am I having a stronk?
Hypothesist
taurondir
If you piss in the water first that just adds extra flavor to your carcass
WhyDoesItSmellLikeThat
Would be a shade of brown then shades of dark red.
insongwhang
Brown
ThatOneGuyWhoDidThatOneThingAtThatOnePlaceThatOneTime
Yellow?
LordOfAllImgur
Red probably
Flowerlady0
Don't bite the shark
Totallyscrewedinaustin
Brown
Erik9001
Red
insongwhang
Brown
Hypothesist
diarrhea
TheNamesAshHousewares
Chachacha