Who'd win?

Oct 8, 2016 12:33 PM

ImortalCow

Views

98621

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3841

Dislikes

247

Yes

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I just read Adam Sandler as "A damn Sandler"

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

my favorite

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

oh my I'm trans and still laughing my fucking head off.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

What constitutes victory for any of these?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

ISIS can never beat legos. You bomb legos, now you have more legos. They never ever lose.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Had my upvote until the trans one.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

You forgot The entire British Army in America at the peak of the Revolution vs. Jackie Chan in a ladder chair and table factory.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Jackie Chan in a ladder, chair and table factory would single handedly beat any army at their prime.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Who would win, Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump? Ahahaha, we're so fucked.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not if he *ahem* grabs her by the pussy.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is probably the most idiotic post I'll see all day.

9 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 11

Yeah, this was stupid even for user sub standards

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 9

You're new here aren't you? Or in a timezone where it was nearly midnight when you posted this.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Neither.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

where the fuck are you gonna get 1 trillion ants?

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

All those ridiculous scenarios and you question the ant one lol

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Aggressively unfun fact: the mass (weight) of all ants on Earth and the mass of all humans on Earth are roughly the same.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Earth.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#3 Assuming the average Lego has a mass of 1g, a short scale octillion of them would be .2 Earth mass (~16x the Moon). Long scale they 1/

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

would be ~= the Virgo Supercluster. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgo_Supercluster Lego wins. 2/2

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Google says the average brick weighs 2.5 grams, so a total of about .5 earth masses not long scale.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

All of them using absurdly large numbers clearly don't realize just how large they are. The legos would probably have their own gravity.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They'd be roughly 1/2 earth's mass. Probably a lot more than earth's volume too, since they're hollow plastic not rock.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Poop

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I dont think Japan could withstand 300,000 neckbeards

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Hair driers you say? https://what-if.xkcd.com/imgs/a/13/laser_poi">ower.png">https://what-if.xkcd.com/imgs/a/13/laser_pointer_more_power.png https://what-if.xkcd.com/imgs/a/35/hair_dryer_1e16.png

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Source: https://what-if.xkcd.com/35

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

btw: My favorite what-if post: https://what-if.xkcd.com/4

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#5 is annoying bc gender (social construct) and sex (biologically determined) are completely separate. (Waits for SJW & triggered comments)

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 10

And you could call anything that humans research a social construct, because humans have researched it.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 6

And research has proven legitimacy for transgender and textbooks are always at least slightly outdated and changed in places

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

Exceeept for the "minor" fact that gender is based on sex and sex and gender are one in the same....

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 9

So you believe that all girls are genetically predisposed to love pink? Gender roles are SOCIALLY constructed & have no genetic basis.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

1 trillion lions vs the sun: the lions could attack at night when the sun is asleep to get the element of surprise

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 1

The sun is the sun but I mean... That's a lot of lions

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

exactly 1 trillion of them

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

or just stack on top of each other and unplug it

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

That's the kind of thinking we value here. You're hired

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

100 billion paper towel rolls can hold approximately 8.16 billion cubic meters of water. Mishra falls drops approximately 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 1

Niagara Falls* drops approximately 168,000 cubic meters of water every minute. The paper towels would last 33.7 days before soaking through.

9 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

neat

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Rotated duck would feel some disorientation after being rotated. The 1st duck would use this advantage to attack rotated duck.

9 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 1

False. The rotated duck would have all the advantages of the regular duck BUT he could run up trees at the same speed as he could run.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Transgender animals exist in nature. Fence lizards have 2 sexes, but three genders. Thus, the transgender people would win

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 13

Lizards are not mammals, mammals are not lizards.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 6

Down votes for the truth eh?

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 4

And those are L I Z A R D S

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 5

Some would say 1 million transgenders is evidence a high school biology book might be incomplete

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 5

Yes, because a large amount of an idea makes the idea true.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 8

I think a million people offering heartfelt testimonial & a long history of it across countries & cultures makes it worth considering, yes

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

It is when you're trying to decide if a population of people exists or not.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

It's not trying to disprove that the people who believe it exist, it's trying to disprove that transexualism is truly supported in biology.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

The thing is that gender dysphoria is officially recognized in the DSM5 as a legitimate condition.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Stick always win

9 years ago | Likes 135 Dislikes 1

Stick gud

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Maybe one of the soldiers tries to burn the stick

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Smoke gets in soldier eyes, Ash give lung cancer,the rest of the stick is turned into gas and they can never catch it Stick win every time!

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I get that reference.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's not 2 trillion ants.

9 years ago | Likes 120 Dislikes 5

Did you count?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Some of them can't be seen.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's at least 12

9 years ago | Likes 68 Dislikes 2

I think it's like 43. I tried to count them but it made my eyeballs hurt.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

See, that right there, I can believe.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

That wasent a 100 giant frost lions either...

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

They could be standing behind that big one. It's impossible to know.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

I always upvote flawless logic, +1

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Can we please go just one day without some transphobic shit on the front page?

9 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 27

Are we not allowed to hate freely?

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 5

Yeah I feel you, it's actually really annoying.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 8

....no

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 12

Could say that about everything. Front page is the same handful of things over and over. Just ignore what you don't like, like everyone else

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 10

Ha down voting? Ok well then post a comment crying about it. Thatll fix the problem

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But...that's the only one that is realistic / true. How can reality / the truth be "transphobic"?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 13

Why does other people's gender matter to you? If they were born one and are now another who are we to stop them? They're not hurting anyone.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

They're hurting my feelings.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Gender is a psychosocial phenomenon. Sex is biological. Welcome to the 21st century.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 5

C U R R E N T Y E A R

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

I'm sorry to see you suffer from a mental disorder. I hope you get the help that you need.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 9

I'm a molecular biologist and geneticist who actually reads the primary literature on such topics. I will trust my expertise over yours

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

Fucking savage

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

This isn't your average everyday shitposting. This is...advanced shitposting.

9 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 2

Did you just quote spongebob

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

No, No He didn't.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Yes, yes they did

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Maybe. Maybe I did.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In my opinion, this sort of advanced shitposting brings the whole shitpost full circle, and therefore makes it goodposting.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Uh, thanks?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And there's theoretical shitposting in which while shitposting the content folds in onto itself based on it's own shit thus creating a shit

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The infinite nature of the shitpost.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

singularity of massive shit within only one shitpost post

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How much magma is 1 magma?

9 years ago | Likes 348 Dislikes 4

In integers or real numbers?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

More than point nine but less than two.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Lava is magma that has reached Earth's surface... 1 Lava

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yes

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

About 7 fire

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yes

9 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 1

Depends on what magpa says.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The same as 1 crack cocaine

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

1 whole magma. Half of 2 whole magmas.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

one liquid rock

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

about tree fiddy

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

30 speed

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

In imgur measurements (fuck you freedom units) it's about 3.7 bananas

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 5

One more than zero magmas.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Dunno but 1 volcano vs. 100 Megalitres of water assuming 1CM^3 icecubes.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Also is this a reference to shark boy and lava girl when lava girl has to dive into the icy water to save shark boy from electric eels?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just a bit less than 2 magma

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

3 megabytes

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just a but less than 2 magma

9 years ago | Likes 89 Dislikes 2

Awwww god damn it I was gonna say that

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Exactly half 2 magma

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

More or less.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just a bit? I'd argue it's half as much!

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

its a bit like money, if i doubled your wallet contents, youd still be fucked

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Who would win, one of every existing Pokémon or one million lions?

9 years ago | Likes 97 Dislikes 2

Since Pokémon don't exist, the lions win.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 7

Boooo

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yes

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

If we're sticking with the assumption that lions are normal type and have normal moves, could we pull off a level 1 Aron sweep?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

One ditto could turn the lions into a billion pokemon hybrid lions

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ditto is such a slut

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Considering an arcanine can run several hundred miles per hour, those Pokemon would destroy the world easily.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

As a Detroit Lions fan, most of the Pokémon could take the day off and still win.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Pokémon because the literal god of the universe would be fighting them

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I mean... There's a Pokemon that's basically Death and another that's God so Pokemon

9 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

Well since lions are boring old normal types a gengar could make easy work of them all on its own.

9 years ago | Likes 74 Dislikes 1

Have you ever heard of Pyroar? :D

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wrong. Ghost types dont affect normal types and vice-versa

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Ghost ATTACKS. But he can know, for example, Dark Pulse, a Dark move, which DOES affect normal. But also vice versa. Bite is Dark.Lions bite

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

It would run out of PP and struggle itself to death long before it kills them all.

9 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

Just get it a leftovers and you're good to go.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Story of my life

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

but normal types usually have dark type moves like knock off

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The Gengar would run out of PP. Does it have access to a Pokemon Center during the fight?

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

presumably they regain PP naturally, after all, high level wild pokemon still have moves. I'd just assume he takes a nap and is good.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

1000 septillion 1kw hairdryers? That's 2600 times the output of the sun. Jupiter loses, rest of solar system is collateral damage :p

9 years ago | Likes 1071 Dislikes 2

No good sir, he said hairdryers, he never said they had power to them. Literally paperweightd.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

But where do you plug them in?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Oct 9, 2016 2:39 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

1000 septillion dryers (1x10^27 dryers), each at (an apparently underestimated) 1000 watts. 1x10^30 watts o' power on the dryers ;)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh yeah. For some reason I thought the Sun was 3.9x10^26kw, but it's just w. My bad.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Even better: According to this relevant XKCD what if? The typical output is almost twice that. https://what-if.xkcd.com/35/

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Why would you even say 1000 septillion, that's just 1 octillion. Unless you're using the long scale, then that's 1 septilliard. But still.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

1kw? what hairdryers do you use?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

*Assuming they have a source of power that's ~2600 times the output of the sun. Probably should mention that.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

What goes in the intake, and what is the effect created by that? Wouldn't it create a vacuum that would cause them to self-destruct?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why didn't they just call it an Octillion though.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What about the power source?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

We drain the sun and sun's around us to defeat our adversaries.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yeah! Fuck you, Jupiter!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Although we'll need an earth blanket...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Only if they are plugged in :)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where do you plug them in? What do they blow?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If each hair drier weighed 1 kg, they would also have a total mass about 2/3 of Jupiter itself, too.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Depends on which septillion you use. If you take the european one, it is nearer the mass of the entire universe than that of Jupiter

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Yeah but let's keep it realistic here.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Let's not forget that the blow driers would be within that universe, so either most of the matter within the universe would comprise the

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

driers, but if they were dropped into our universe, it would add to everything, not take it away, so it would be closer to 45% of the total.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah a few of these are good questions. What WOULD happen if you threw 100 billion ice cubes in an erupting volcano?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Quick Google shows typical mountain mass at 10^16 kg, a billion ice cubes would be billions of times less, so it won't just crush it. 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The cold would be important, and would either freeze the magma or cause a steam explosion. Or both.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also 1000 septillion is just 1 octillion. Pretty simple

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Unless these are long scale septillions, which would change everything!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

1000 long scale septillions is still 1 long scale octillion

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No, 1000000 long scale septillions are 1 long scale octillion

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

well howbow dah

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

All is fair in love and war

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thank you, I really wanted someone to find some weird way of answering some of these. Exactly like this.

9 years ago | Likes 219 Dislikes 0

100 billion paper rolls would absorb the volume of water that flows through Niagara Falls during an entire week.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where do they get their power? Checkmate. Jupiter wins.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

XKCD's "What If?" is basically nothing but questions like these. "Can moonlight start a fire?" "What would happen if you dug straight down?"

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Volcano vs ice cubes (for 2cm cubes) is a draw, for thermal energy matching that of Mt St Helens 1980. All thermal energy used boiling ice.

9 years ago | Likes 65 Dislikes 1

EEp, out by a factor of 1000. Volcano wins easily lol. Drunken physics best physics :p

9 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

Read "what if", it's an awesome book filled with scientific answers to questions like this

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Will do!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That and the origin of that book, what-if.xkcd.com

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

2600 times the output of the sun in how much time?

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

At a time

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Watts is a measurement of energy per second

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Yeah, what he said. Time is already taken into account.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

ahahaha

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also worth noting that that many paper towels would dry up the entire Niagara River.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For how long though?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And, I think, it wouldn't dry it up so much as cause it to change into a glacier of soggy paper towels for a while.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How does it blow without air?

9 years ago | Likes 89 Dislikes 0

checkmate atheists

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 6

What does that even mean?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm Christian and I still dunno. *shrugs*

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not just air fam, any gaseous element.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

where do you plug it in?

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Uranus

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

It doesn't need to blow. It would just heat up into a giant fireball. It

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

It would still generate heat.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Jupiter is made of air.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Same way OP's mom does.

9 years ago | Likes 81 Dislikes 0

Rekt

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

v

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

daaaaaaaaaaamson

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Rekt

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0