mynameisbucky
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Dad split when I was three or so, gave up rights to me and I never saw him or heard from him again. That's fine, whatever. Got curious and looked him up on Facebook, and it became very clear very fast that he had another kid. My half sister. She has a kid too, so I guess I have a niece. I'm a 30 year old girl and for whatever reason I didn't think about the fact that I might have half-siblings out there. I don't really want to reach out to my dad, but part of me wants to know my sister. I don't know what the hell to do.
Have a drink with me, imgur. Your choice.
Cat tax, my best buddy:
Elfindale
I learned of my half sister's existence when she was 16 & I was 19. I reached out. We're a lot alike. We bonded quickly.
mynameisbucky
I'm glad it worked out for you! :)
ImAGayRobot
I'd say reach out if you want to, but be prepared that it COULD mean your dad will reach out to you if/when he heard you reached out her.
SirMeowPurrington
Nice kitty.
mynameisbucky
Thank you! I'll pass along the kind words.
Warbunny5000
Do it. Driver chooses tunes, navigator shuts his cake hole. Have some pie with her. Go find dad on one of his “hunting trips”.....
mynameisbucky
Now there's an idea. Hey sis, let's trade hunting stories!
hardcorefanfictionreader
To be honest, @OP, I don't think getting in contact with her is the right thing.
mynameisbucky
Thank you. I need all the opinions. Can I ask why?
hardcorefanfictionreader
Well, your father doesn't sound like the greatest guy and his other daughter ain't your family. I think you are better off as you are now.
TheIncrediblePirate
Awesome! I too have siblings that I have never met. A sister in her thirties and a brother in his teens.
mynameisbucky
Whoa. Any plans to meet?
kissmyash
Cat is very photogenic
mynameisbucky
He really is! How did you know his name? (It's Cat.)
mournfulbliss
deadbeat dad, found out at 23 i had 3 half sisters.
mynameisbucky
I feel you. Have you met any of them?
mournfulbliss
yup, we are thinking we have a half brother we don't know about...
lucymax
If you choose to contact her, be prepared for her to not want to talk to you. Don't push.
mynameisbucky
I'm preparing for that. I figure just giving her the option will be enough, not getting all up in her business or anything.
ClonePH
That is why I dont want to look at my Dad's FB, I'm just not ready to see his other family when it still hurts that he left us. Cheers, OP!
mynameisbucky
Yeah, mine peaced the fuck out. Then on his Facebook he seems to be really involved as far as my sister and her baby go. Stings a bit.
ClonePH
It really hurts. That must have really hurt too. I am sorry, OP.
alssst
I vote for you keep away. All this situation smells like "more family problems".
mynameisbucky
That's probably the strongest argument for keeping away, honestly.
IndyAndyJones
The cat looks like it wants you to reach out to her.
mynameisbucky
You think so? If it's for him, I might have to do it.
IndyAndyJones
Something in his eyes says it. And think of the worse case scenario, she says something mean to you on facebook, then it's done.
IndyAndyJones
Best case scenario, awesome sister and new "World's Best Aunt" coffee mug
mynameisbucky
His eyes usually just say "feed me." I'll have to talk to him about it. And I really hope that's the worst case scenario, haha.
gr8snd
Sip that drink and mull it over. Your father seems a likely bastard but I bet your half sister would love to know you exist.
Melanorosaurus
Side note: she doesn't HAVE to meet her dad again, if she doesn't want to. She and her sis are adults. Don't need dad's permission.
mynameisbucky
Thanks for the advice. Still mulling.
gr8snd
Take your time.
sweetfeetpete
Wouldn't OP and /or OP's sis be the bastards here?
mynameisbucky
I don't know about my sister but I was born in wedlock, so no bastard status for me, yay! Dad definitely sucks though.
gr8snd
Only if your a cynical piece of shit.
PraiseDickbuttLordAndSaviorOfUsersub
Do you know what bastard means?
sweetfeetpete
gr8snd
OK Satan
StabbyMcMurder
Talk to your sister. Tell her your story. Connect with her. Screw your dad. Figuratively, not literally.
mynameisbucky
Thanks for the push. I think I'm gonna do it.
Pizzathehutman
I wouldn't. But that's just me.
lulitamae
As someone who just found out I have 5+ half siblings who may or may not know about me, reach out. It’s important to know each other.
mynameisbucky
Is that what you did? How did it go, if I can ask?
lulitamae
I’m adopted and found both sides on Ancestry/23+Me. No sibs on mom side, 5+ on dad. Met cousins and aunts, working to sibs. Grateful for 1/2
lulitamae
Reception from cousins- they all knew about me and were happy to meet me. Your sis may know about you! Good luck and please report!!
mynameisbucky
Thank you! Good luck to you too on meeting your siblings. I hadn't even thought about potential cousins.
lulitamae
It’s overwhelming, that’s for sure! Good luck
Melanorosaurus
I found one of my 2 half brothers this way. Introduced myself to both, not a single regret. Both were happy to meet me. My life feels more
Melanorosaurus
Full with them in it, and I know that I would always regret not reaching out. It's possible she already knows about you, too, but hasn't.
Melanorosaurus
Also note that she's an adult too and your father doesn't have to be involved. You don't have to meet him again.
mynameisbucky
I think I needed this reminder most of all. Thank you.
ArianaGandhi
Dude maybe you guys are like identical and become best friends. You never know maybe this is life doing you a solid.
MrCannibal
'Half-sister'
wheresthebaby
Nice.jamiegif
mynameisbucky
We don't look anything like, haha. But the baby she has looks a lot like I did when I was born. Very eerie to see my features on some kid.
NapAllDayPartyNever
they made a movie about thar, called it "Parent Trap" hilarity and a remake ensued.
asquiiiiiiisha
The Parent Trap is about identical twins and the most fucked-up custody arrangement ever.
NapAllDayPartyNever
well they're identical, it's ok to break up the set
usernamechangeswillnotbedaved
Don't wait I did and my sister died from a DUI driver before I could meet her. Huge regret not trying earlier. I found out when I was 30 too
mynameisbucky
I'm so sorry to hear that. That's awful. Drunk drivers are scum.
Hornethappy
I'd want to know your fathers side of the story. I suspect you do too, since you looked him up. Contact your sister & see where it leads.
mynameisbucky
I'm curious, I have to admit. Thank you for the encouragement.
Cheomesh
My wife can relate @OP;we just recently met her half siblings from her dad's earlier marriage.We are late 20s, they're in their 50s...
mynameisbucky
Shit, that's a big difference. I hope things went well.
Cheomesh
Fairly.They were all long-time adults.Her dad basically lived what sounded like two whole lives back to back.
FlysaMinelly
You could contact her but be sensitive as he may not have told her, and it's not her fault y'know?
mynameisbucky
Absolutely not her fault, I agree completely. This is a really weird situation.
FlysaMinelly
I maintain that trying is better than regretting
thathippienudistsmokerdudeyouignore
Don't fuck your sister. Solid advice from a guy I knew.
mynameisbucky
Very solid advice, I have to agree.
GroovyNerdM
My Mother gave her firstborn up for adoption, I've always wondered about him. Give her a call.
RyilSyer
My mother did the same thing with her second born. I've always wanted to meet him and all I know is his first name. :(
mynameisbucky
Good luck! I hope you do get to meet him.
RyilSyer
I hope you figure out what to do. Maybe reaching out to your dad will be a good thing.
leftypride
I gave my daughter up, open though. I frequently wonder what my future kids will think and ask when I have them and they grow up.
LinearAlgebro
They'll probably understand whatever the circumstances were and think it's cool that you wanted to let your baby live instead of killing it
NotYourLady
I'm not adopted not are my siblings, but my mom had an abortion that I didn't know about til I was in my mid 20s. She explained her reasons,
NotYourLady
And once we knew, we completely understood and accepted. An honest conversation means the world to any children you may have in the future.
leftypride
That's very true. I assume my children growing up knowing they have another half sibling out there they won't really think much of it.
NotYourLady
As young children it could be confusing but as teens or older they should be mature enough to handle the news and then decide if they want
RavenDay
My mom had my brother and sister with her first husband while she was a teenager. (1/?)
RavenDay
After a divorce she had an abortion, eventually remarried, and had me in her 30s. I never think anything about the abortion. (2/?)
RavenDay
I don’t think your kids will think anything is odd about your firstborn. It will have been that way their whole life and all they know. 3/3
leftypride
That's really true. And I just thought of that. I am obviously very open about it so I hope if they have questions they just ask.
floorguy
Yeah I'm going to need an update on this.
mynameisbucky
I don't know when I'm going to make a decision, I'll probably sit on it for a bit. But imgur will be the first to know what happens!
VelvetWarhol
I vote for making contact.
Xsiah
I vote against. She's just a stranger who happens to have some genes in common.
IOnlyUseHashtagsSarcastically
Some? Try half.
Xsiah
Okay, half. As far as I'm concerned it could be a full clone. It's still a stranger.
mynameisbucky
Would you want to know if you had a sibling? Genuinely curious.
Kuvajainen
I would love to get to know my long lost sibling if I had one. There can never be enough loved ones in your life.
Kuvajainen
That said, I love my siblings unconditionally. We don't always get along or agree on things but they are my special people.
sadquesadilla
I would. But be careful with the introduction, you don't want to ruin her relationship with your dad
Ancillary
Yes, but I've grown up with siblings. Knowing what it's like to have someone so similar makes me feel like I would try to meet them.
Xsiah
Even if I found out I was adopted and had a whole biological family out there, I would not care. Blood isn't family. Love is family.
BlackLabsAreBest
I've got a half sister I've never met. Genuinely not bothered
wheretostart
Avoid high hopes. For now she's just another person, despite DNA. Be cautious. Blood doesn't necessarily automatically mean family.
macuillen
But it could mean viable organs.
mynameisbucky
Good advice, thank you.
mwdt73
I agree, be careful. don't get your hopes up. I found out dad had 4 more kids. I can't stand any of them. making contact was a waste of time
CrazyMrowLady
I know about 4 half siblings who don't know I exist. My dad won't give me any information as they'll be in their mid 40s and doesn't 1/
mynameisbucky
Damn. That's really cold. You can come be my half sibling if you want.
CrazyMrowLady
Want me to ruin their lives. I think about them sometimes. 2/2
Furtaus
You cant contact the socialoffice to get their names?I dont know if youre a nice person or not though, you think you would ruin their lives?
CrazyMrowLady
Two of them (twins) were brought up thinking another man was their dad, and he thinks so too. His name is on the birth certificate, 1/2
CrazyMrowLady
So there's nothing I can trace them down with. As for the other two? No idea anything about them. 2/2
godlessheathen702
My biological father(who lived out of state)stopped all contact with my mother when she became pregnant with me. She finally tracked him (1)
mynameisbucky
That was quite the ride. I have a lot to think about, it seems. Thanks for sharing your story with me.
godlessheathen702
Just weigh out the pros and cons and you'll make the correct decision for yourself and sibling(s). And you're more than welcome.
godlessheathen702
down at his job (as a bus driver) and wanted to know what his deal was. He broke it to her that he was married with four kids with one (2)
godlessheathen702
on the way (at the same time as I was). As a strong independent woman she told him to be with his family, but not to worry or contact us (3)
Corrodias
That's funny, in a way. I've spent years tracking you down to tell you never to talk to me or my son again.
godlessheathen702
again. My mother never lied to me about him, but I got curious and tracked him down. He died in 2001 so I never got the chance to talk (4)
godlessheathen702
to him. Also found the names of his children, two of which live in the city I live in. I've wanted to contact them but have stopped (5)
godlessheathen702
myself. What if he never told his children about me? Not only could they lose their shit on me, other than him being unfaithful to his (6)
ultrafoo
My dad called one day and told me a when I was younger he slept with a married woman and she had a kid. I have a half brother somewhere.
mynameisbucky
Is it weird to think about? Have you ever tried to find him?
ultrafoo
Yeah, it is weird. I have always been an only child as well and I was almost 30 when he told me. I tried to look him up on FB, but 1/?
ultrafoo
couldn't find him. Even if I did I wouldn't contact him. From what I gather, the husband thought it was his kid and was really pissed 2/?
ultrafoo
when he found out and tried to track my dad down. My parents are divorced but I am not 100% sure if it happened when they were together. 3/?
ultrafoo
I don't know if my mom knows or not, and I will tell her over my dead body. Ultimately, I wish he had never told me. 4/4