ProphetOfPhil
304673
7370
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me irl
Enter the hub?: http://imgur.com/gallery/5eKbx
carmentary
TUBA TAXX
smilesmakeeverythingbetter
Brass tax. Subtle.
MoccaFixer
Bronnichiwa
Brass tax!
antooki
Brass tax? I love it
AnalChain
#TeamTuba
xheyther
#teamtuba since I play the tuba I cannot not upvote any post with tuba tax.
kleptothermiac
I really want to know what book that dedication is from.
ionlylooklikeapotato
"A buttt tuba" backwards
chary
Today I was walking from work and I saw a man carrying a pizza box. Well first I thought... well... pizza. Then I said to myself. No. 1/2
chary
2/2 because I had some three bottles of good craft beer and some good sausage (the hard one, cut slices, eat as snack) in my backpack.
Thebossboggs
Oh shit! I'm here before it makes it to the FP! +1 you glorious bastard
Gdf4r
I am also here before it gets to the FP.
BurgerBuns
You are. That's tubad..
TheUtahn
Thank you for all your hard work.
DukeOfChutney608
the beast was a man turned into a beast he could read in the first place
allthenamesaregone
Yellow text on white background, on my shitty work monitor? Thanks satan.
zxms
Regarding #2 you could also become a school lunch lady but, yeah, you don't want to.
OhDavidMyNacho
or a sales agent, or work in the vacation industry, work in hospitality. Go seasonal, work for the forest service.. Not just teachers.
WilliamHuskerAdama
Or move to, like, almost any European country. In Norway we get 5-6+ weeks paid vacation
diphenhydraminehcl50mg
I don't think teachers really get all that time off in the summer either...
OhDavidMyNacho
They really do. Source, family of teachers.
ArtemisCrock
#3 Someone needs to watch the movie, the beast had learnt how to read a little, a long time ago, and tarzan didn't even speak english so....
Greeneyeddevil
RIGHT? He was a human boy!
ErrantTerrain
I'm Liberian *whispers*
beadyeyedsquirrel
Wait becky I don't get it
ohboyboy
Liberian sounds like 'librarian'
swefur
#2: Yes we do. Sweden.
MannyBananas
It's been a journey reading all 13 parts. You are doing the Lord's work
MexImgurian
ohh 12 more parts.. getting ready to waste the next two hours
JaylynAlize
I've totally seen them all lol
benmbusch
What's up with the random tuba at the end?
sms001
Brass Tax (Tacks)
OldSchoolNewRules
Tuba tax.
jhuck
Rob Delaney is pretty fun to follow on Twitter, if you're into pretending celebrities will respond to your fan-girling
NoiceSmart
I had Devon Sawa respond to me a couple times. That was cool, 13 year old me was incredibly excited.
jhuck
Aubrey Plaza's sister followed me very briefly. Also Jim O'Heir replied to me about peanut butter once.
NoiceSmart
It's the little things in life, really.
Vickahhhh
What was the Netflix disaster?
LiamNeesonOfficial
Years ago, I think. SNL did a skit on it back then.
zebrasintheskywithdiamonds
I believe it was when they raised their prices after they basically singlehandedly shut down Blockbuster and other video rental stores.
milisis
#1 in Sweden you're entitled (by law) to four consecutive weeks paid leave during summer...
HypnoChanger
If everyone gets 4 consecutive weeks off during the summer, how would places like stores, and restaurants not end up understaffed in summer?
milisis
I'm not sure... Summer interns? Some places have bonuses for people that work during summer, some factories (like volvo) closes completely.
lordwynn
Summer interns, yes. Also, vacations in shifts. Not everyone takes the same month off. Students make a significant number of summer interns.
idownvoteplottwist
That's nice, dear. Tell us more about how Europe is superior to the US.
milisis
I'm sorry I hit a sensitive spot. Europe is not a country and in many ways US is superior. Just not in this way compared to Sweden.
idownvoteplottwist
I never said Europe was a country.
UltraVioletFlamingo
If everyone was off for summer, people would die. Healthcare doesn't get a day off for everyone. Stuff still needs to get done besides that.
aadapipsa
Almost everyone has paid vacation for 4-5 weeks in Europe, including the doctors and nurses. Weird if the US can't make it work.
CongratulateMeCongratulateMe
All the teachers I know work over the summer because they need the money.
Kiaragrawien1
And because they are passionate about what they do. Those teachers are the ones who inspire me.
WilliamHuskerAdama
People who think teachers have a long summer vacation are idiots. They have work to do even if the kids aren't around
BlueBassist
Found the LCCN from that book with the unapologetic author's note. It's The House of Hades by Rick Riordan. In other news, when did he 1/2
SteveCraft
If you look carefully you can see the "HAZEL" chapter heading glowing(?) through the page.
RogueMachinae
.
BlueBassist
start writing more books for that series???
anunladeneuropeanswallow
Oh, that's been over for a year or two now. PERCABETH NOOOO
MarquessofPembroke
He actually just finished out this series. He's got a new one coming out starting this year based on Norse myths.
Jwjfftw
That's awesome to hear.
Kiaragrawien1
If one more person says teachers get summer breaks, I'M GOING TO FLIP OUT. FLIP. OUT.
IHateBeingBipolarItsAwesome
My mom was an English teacher and she got summer breaks. Why would you flip out?
EnjiFTW
but...I have quite a few teacher friends who get summers off. Most of it anyway.
littlelum
Teachers get summer breaks.
umuziki
Teacher here, I have a summer!
alink2thepast
Wait, why??
OhDavidMyNacho
Because of their distorted view on work. Coming from a family of teachers, summers were a blast, and there was no "working all summer".
mariapapaia
as the daughter of a teacher, same.
Kiaragrawien1
Wait..so are you agreeing or disagreeing with me? I'm curious as to how your parents spend their summer.
mariapapaia
totally agreeing with you! it's august 6 and my mother is finally on vacation after 11 months of work.
Kiaragrawien1
Especially considering teachers don't get nights or weekends off either. Constantly grading and prepping. It must be exhausting.
mariapapaia
exactly that. she doesn't stop for a second. actual convo on her first day of vacay "let me check my email in case someone needs me" errr...
Kiaragrawien1
Your mom sounds like an amazing teacher. :)
mariapapaia
she is. i don't envy her job for a second tho. you will be too :)
OhDavidMyNacho
as a son of a teacher, and sibling to a teacher, worked in a school for a few years, and the nephew of various teachers.... I disagree.
Kiaragrawien1
Any good teacher spends their summers working. Whether it be summer school, or working on their syllabi for the next year, they are working.
Kiaragrawien1
No offense meant towards anyone's parents. I'm going to be a teacher and every good teacher I have ever had has worked all summer long
OhDavidMyNacho
Family of teachers, successful ones. Summer off is spent like it's meant to. No sense in burning out before the year even begins.
Kiaragrawien1
Personally, I wouldn't see it as burning out. I would imagine it would be less stressful to spread the work out over the summer.
Kiaragrawien1
When do you find time for to prepare for the next school year? Do you ever teach summer classes?
heresthesource
The answer to the Jimmy Neutron riddle is 'stars', if you were wondering.
thesplashingblumpkins
I got it myself :). Does this mean I'm smarter than a 5th grader?
razetherunner
no, i'm pretty sure it's the vashta nerada. count the shadows.
tinygnomeman
i guessed fears.
FoxySocks
creamed corn and republicans are also true answers though
DPCerberusBlaze
I thought it was dreams, but that makes more sense
srscour
Always thought it was socks.
AgentTempest
"my greatest fears" was the first thing that sprung to mind, but "stars" is good too
drbabaloo
Jimmy neutrons voice annoys me
ilikefoodmorethanpeople
Thank you, I was. I thought it was shadows tho
JustRewIt
I thought I was so dang clever for thinking of that. Now thatit's been explained, I no longer feel clever.
duoinc
That would be the answer to: "In the light, they arrive without being fetched. In the dark, they are lost without being stolen."
SirReginaldXII
Same
Bveebs
I, too, thought it was shadows.
BatsuitsNipples
Seconding shadow. The "riddle" kinda neglects the fact that the sun is a star, and is making that light in question.
EpicTurnOver
Right? Shadows seems like a better answer
rebeccaisafish
No if you actually think about it shadows doesnt work.
Kegobo
You see it in the dark but not in the light? :/
dragondaemon
How did I have to scroll this far to find this comment? Bless you, child.
BrokeMyFunnyBone
How far did you have to scroll? Because it's the 2nd comment from the top for me...
dragondaemon
When I saw it, it was at 1 point. I dunno if it was a glitch, though.
Rabidchiuaua
It is now, probably not when he made the comment.
FlareonTheFalseProphet
#3 Tarzan was raised as a baby by gorillas, Beast was a grown man and prince before being made a monster, little bit different in education
diaaaaaa
Ok
LPD42
Yes, that is his library, those are his books!
expertsandwichmaker
Thank god someone said it. I read it and went straight to the comments to straighten some people out
ineedadultsupervision
I scrolled all the way down just to make sure someone clarified this. Thank you!
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
Beast also says he knew how to read, he just hadn't done it in so long that he sorta forgot. So he had prior education, just needed renewal.
abcdefghijkELEMENOHPEE
Thissss. That tumblr line bothers me every time it gets reposted here.
iSoulend
Also last time it was posted someone pointed out that the kind of book Jane use didn't exist during at the time of The Beauty and the Beast
Pirkale
In the books, Tarzan learned how to read on his own. How he managed that feat was left a tad unclear :P
franceisbacon
In be our guest lumiere says '10 years we've been rusting'. Last rose petal will fall on 21st bday.. Wouldn't that make him 11 at the time?
FlareonTheFalseProphet
oh right, forgot about that xD but still he knows proper english just fine, Tarzan had no knowledge at all real modern language
franceisbacon
This is true. Always struck me as harsh to curse an 11 year old tho
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
I've seen some 11-year-olds act like assholes. I believe it.
BoopingTheBooper
Thank you! The injustice of that post bothered me more than I care to admit. Talking shit about Jane...
DinoQueenJoules
Beast was turned back to human at the age of 21 but was a beast for 10 years. He was only taught up till 11.
motorwaffle
11 is still a bit past the "See Jane run" level of reading.
FlareonTheFalseProphet
@franceisbacon beat you too it by a couple minutes lol, and like i said to him that's still miles ahead of Tarzan xD
flamingflamingo
I was just gonna say that. She wasn't teaching Beast how to read, she was teaching him to appreciate the art of classic literature.
GodLikeButHumble
I was just wondering how a goddamn prince of the age he was transformed at had not learned to read yet.
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
He had learned some, but he implies he forgot when he says "it's been so long" and needs help w/ pronouncing "two".
flamingflamingo
I imagine if he was an awful person before he was transformed, he might have rejected the ideas of class, etiquette, and fine arts.
franceisbacon
So narration at start says the castle was enchanted for 10 yrs. it also says the last petal will fall on his 21st bday, so wasn't he 11?
banannabelle18
Last time that was posted it said that it reflected the teacher styles of their respective time periods
aurthurallan
French literature is also super wordy and dense.
charlieruns
I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure she has him read King Arthur not Romeo and Juliet
Razvanz
I feel like it should be mosquitos....
TallDude
Beast also spoke clean, proper English.
RomeoSniper
Though culturally they should have been french....
TallDude
True. He speaks the language of his land clearly and fluently. There we go.
tunacupcake
Well... French, technically...
YodasLeftEar
http://eatseedoblog.com/wp-content/uploads/joeyspeaksfrench.jpg
TallDude
Bah! Bah I say!
harmlesspotato
Have you any wool?
HelloMyNameIsEmily
...That toilet seat idea is actually really good.
Schmedes
Wouldn't work for pooping as well and would require a foot to be in the middle which would make you pee left or right. Not the best.
Poobydooby
I hate those lids that open with a pedal because i can never open them with the right amount of force so it either doesn't open at all or
Poobydooby
it opens with the force and sound of a thousand hurricanes
AWolfWithShades
At least it's the sound of hurricanes and not something worrying like a thousand explosive diarreas
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
And it won't work the same way the trash cans don't work. =P Kidding, kidding! Those trash cans always seem to fall over for me, though!
HolyDrinker
I usually use my shoe, works fine.
atleastIwasnt36
http://www.amazon.com/FLIPPER-Reliable-Inexpensive-Toilet-Lifter/dp/B0052SVSQ0
Exowe
*have to pee so badly, open to fast, smash toilet into pieces*
ostiniatoze
Dibs
cjwelch
i'd pay for one or ten of those
hiphopbookshop
I think toilets in the men's room should be spring loaded so they pop up whenever you're done having a shit. Sick of piss on all the seats
parentingandvice
Finally! Have you been to south america too?! Why hasn't North America caught up?! Every friggin megabus there has one of these... GENIUS
SexBender
Are you Tesla?
patelp7
Either one to lift the seat, or one that flushes with a foot pedal
Batuffolo
They already have some that flush with a pedal, not sure about the other idea though
jrblast
Lifts seat when you press it down, flushes when you release it.
koreanegg
Why not both?
o11c
That'd be confusing and you'd mix them up. The "foot pedal to flush" is a thing though.
koreanegg
Either way you'd be standing up. So less of a shock