ISolemlySwearImUpToNoGood
131244
2246
57
Apr 10, 2018 4:05 PM
ISolemlySwearImUpToNoGood
131244
2246
57
dinosaurzoologist
Was a cashier and once someone came in and bought a lot of bleach, nylon rope and a shovel. No I'm not kidding
notacobra
Snail bait, the largest table salt shaker they have, knives. Ask if the snail bait only works on "regular" snails.
tytrim89
Hamster, Vaseline, lettuce
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
Slingshot, peanuts, epipen.
ireallyliketoads
Twizzlers, super glue, a picture of the eiffel tower
Arenta
ski mask, box of 300 rounds of ammo. map of local area.
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
Watermelon, Bear trap, shotgun shells.
FriendlyNeighbourhoodSatan
Diapers, alcohol, rope.
JustARandomKorean
The classic one I've heard of was a pregnancy test a coat hanger and a trash bag
notacobra
A bit silly: why test for pregnancy if you have the late term abortion kit.
notacobra
A rotisserie chicken, eggs, rubber gloves.
natebitatibetan
Cucumber, lube, a hammer
Hungrypiemonger
extra points if the cashiers name is Peg
RunsWith2Beers
String, cheese and DIY magazine
TygrF
String cheese?
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
Tube of toothpaste, Tube of mustard, Syringe.
TRYoungn
Toaster, bath plug, and an Adele cd
getmo
This shouldn't be funny but it is.
TRYoungn
I know I’m twisted :-/
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
Laxatives, mini-easter eggs, Marshmallow bazooka
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
Magnifying glass, tweezers, gummy bears.
Mediumtim2
You might enjoy: https://youtu.be/u9oCG_SRj1k
fortunamajor6991
I thought his was going to be that jelly belly pet rat video which hurts my soul
ChicoMcFarley
Giant teddy bear, the biggest jar of mayonnaise they have, and a thong
Racealistic
Trevor?
ChicoMcFarley
Lol no
Freakingdoomguy
Mr raspberry jam, he made one man very happy in a time of great darkness
JHord1985
Pants down, dick out, amigo.
IWantToUseTheNameGavinButICantBecauseImgurWontAllowIt
what a time to be alive
notacobra
Three grapes.
bwp815
Not that shocking. People like Grapes
bealtimint
Feralphobia
Pregnancy test, coat hanger and a mop
Blyde
I was going to comment the same thing!
Feralphobia
Been there huh?
Blyde
Used to work in a supermarket in a small conservative town...
Feralphobia
I hear banjos!!!
DoktorLurker
Pick a cashier, buy the same clothes they're wearing and see if they notice.
GBWI
Especially if they are of different gender...
Moogin
This would work at one of those clothes stores in a mall. Lol
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
Fake knife, Real knife, roulette wheel.
FleebCollector
Laxatives, Mason jars, label stickers
ASpicyMacrophage
Oh no hahahahahaha
Hungrypiemonger
you laugh, people fucking do this.
ASpicyMacrophage
Sounds like a great way to make cheap Xmas gifts for people you don't like
TRYoungn
Actually, there are some freaks that get off with the smell of someone else’s poop. They would actually pay for it
Hungrypiemonger
hell yeah
calledwylch
....Doughnut holes? Aren't they just small doughnuts? I bet the marketing department for that one laughed all the way to the bank.
pettinashell
We call them timbits in canada
Studoku
I thought they were something your jokingly sent interns to get. Like stripy paint.
phobosorbust
Blinker fluid. A case of round tuits. A left-handed wrench/spanner. Snipe traps.
ItsNotASchoonerItsASailboat
No, they're balls. Munchkins. Small donuts are just small donuts
calledwylch
I'm just going to assume you've never seen any Doughnut other than a Ring Doughnut, because most Doughnuts are as you just described.
calledwylch
Outside America, most Doughnuts are ball shaped. Imagine a filled Doughnut, but without the filling. Doughnut holes are small Doughnuts.
SuperKingTheBest1ofthe3
Donuts are rings. The balls are munchkins.
calledwylch
Did you not read anything I wrote? SOME Doughnuts are rings, but others are not; depending on where you live. They come in many shapes.
stickyunderpantscheese
A cart full of canned chili, a plunger, and one roll of toilet paper.
Justjeans
That just seems practical to me
ratfinkfuck
does walmart sell individual rolls, or are you hoping for an employee hawking loosies on the side?
stickyunderpantscheese
They sell individual ones. Do not recommend.
stupidstray
When I worked at Walmart a guy once bought around fifty bottles of rubbing alcohol and a single box of Band-Aids. That one scared me a bit.
Cyzyk
Supplies for vaccines or maybe a tattoo parlor owner. Saw a guy buy 50 dollar store razors once for that reason.
Mediumtim2
He's probably drinking the alcohol or using it as fuel, the band aids were a diversion to put you at ease.
Kopachris
Hell, for that matter, it's such a great solvent they might even be using it to make hash oil
Kopachris
Or for cleaning and sterilization. I keep a couple bottles of 99% isopropyl around for cleaning my bong
YoungPecuiler
Rat poison, cake, and a 'Sorry for your loss," card.
AutomationLayer
Haha nice
tiberiuswhythecrapcantweuseunderscoresxxvii
You deserve more points for this!
hootimcowlface
I laughed +1, I like
ThePickliestRick
A knife, a book on anatomy, and a mop.
whosagoodboy92
Extra thin condoms, lube, goldfish(the actual fish), funnel, 5 foot rubber tube 4.5 inch width, and a bike pump
1nn0cent1974
rubber gloves, Vaseline, and an enema kit.
AwkwardBouncer
You don't use a mop. A few extra-large sponges a bucket and a bottle of bleach is better. And never forget a change of clothes.
SammichBro
Ropes, Vaseline, and kidz bop
AutomaticBzooty
Excision was a great film, yo
83athom
Replace the mop with an "I'm sorry for your loss" greeting card.
Thatguyovertherewiththehat
a subwoofer, a cucumber, and rope.
RandalDoggie
cucumber, vaseline, no need for a third item.
imreallyjusthereforthecats
Bottle of Benadryl
TheLittleDetailsOfImgur
Bottle of wine
Arkvoodle
Bandaids.
barnwolf
hemorrhoid cream
panamjck
Stapler
CISMaleScumLord
A shoehorn
TheGreatLemonWheel
Nah, gotta get that Dora the Explorer dvd.
RandalDoggie
Well, shit. You win.
RelartOfGivia
Bicycle pump
TheCeilingIsLava
Hannah Montana - the Movie
Sanosky
You can't just not buy a third that's not how this works!
rhombusrightangle
an industrial garbage bag
Strongharbour432
Habanero pepper sauce
LurkerOfDarkness
When I worked retail all purchases were percieved in their most dirty fashion possible.
Shewy92
2 cucumbers and vaseline
LajesticVantrashellOfLob
wait and hear me out.....3 cucumbers
NicoVII
Now that's just a cucumber salad in the making...
Unfapthomable
Cigarettes
Imadeupausername
And a juicer!
JustSomeGuyNamedScott
Toaster, extension cord, rubber duck
WashOutPfaffenbach
she is too tired to do the link...
besieged
Drain plug.
getmo
Improvement, I like it.
derbious
I laughed harder than I should have.
RulesOfImgur
No, bet a bath bomb. It will increase the conductivity of the water.
JustSomeGuyNamedScott
But I wanted a rubber duck.
RulesOfImgur
Yeah, I can see where a rubber duck would be nice, it allows you to be happy right before you drop the toaster in.
JustSomeGuyNamedScott
Rubber ducky, you're so fun. You make bath time lots of fun. Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you. ZZZZTTTTTTZTZTZTZTZT
itsanadventureoutthere
The rubber duck will increase the conDUCKivity of the water though.
RulesOfImgur
I have spent the last 2 hours trying to be mad at you for that. I can't, it was too good.
Mathemusical
u r a gem
demolitionlover09
I get the first two, but what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
JustSomeGuyNamedScott
It serves two purposes. First, to show I wanted a bath toy. And second, I wanted a rubber duck.
starscape678
I guess you're just going to have to live among muggles for a while Mr. Weasley
demolitionlover09
Ayyy, someone got it.
ChibiKia
As a cashier, the items that freak me out most are the ones that don't ring up when I've got a line a mile long.
panamjck
Well now you are just making this too easy!
Acefowl
Or just confusingly wrong. My Walmart is ringing up parfait and cheese and asking to scan the serial number.
MicrowaveSafe
Nothing worse than waiting for a price check awkwardly standing there with the customer and 6 more people in line.
kanihaznaiph
On a side note, anyone else wish there was a lane for when an item doesnt have a tag or is on clearance (meaning itll need a price override)
Phatplat
I worked a a pharmacy and sometimes the med barcode would come up ketchup or some shit. I legitimately had no idea what to do.
PhailRaptor
I've had a bag of spinach come up as a queen size bed, so there you go
thisisharderthaniknew
Hahaha
entropyk
Happened to me once, then cashier entered the number in by hand, still nothing, so I couldn't buy it. Hail to our robot overlords..!
letsdotheimgurthing
Dude I work at wal mart and sometimes I seriously make up prices.
VenomousRequiem
I'm also a cashier, and I agree. I barely even pay attention to what the customer has; scan, bag, scan, bag, scan, bag, total.
ElviraQueenOfDarkness
Do ypu still have to bags people's groceries in America?
MornieAlantie
depends on the store. Mostly yes, but around me, aldi doesnt, jewel does.
Lemonsandwichs
Yea I just think about how I could not be there and could be at home the entire time I'm working.
TechnicallyRight
But you have to be there, so you shouldn't think about how you could not be there, you need money, you'd be there... unless you dont need $$
nahtan00
The pay as a cashier here at walmart isnt that great, usually we are here just for the experience or are trying to find a better job.
FBIhere
I mean, you should have just got a raise to $11/hr, so that's something (unless my SM lied and only certain stores got it)
baconandplagues
I've gotten craft brews rung up for a dollar because a cashier couldn't find the price on the item and they wouldn't ring up.
baconandplagues
Never had a happier beer run in my life.
iTakeQuotesOutOfContext
We could make adjustments up to five bucks with no override. If you’re nice and the change was less than 5 it happened without investigation
SilverWingsofMorning
I got a $5 loaf of bread for $1.99.
baconandplagues
This was a sixer so probably saved like 8-10 bucks on it
OverzealousDude
Must mean it's free then hur hur hur!!!
uchytjes
In my experience, the best way to take that is to feign idiocy and play it completely straight.
Lemonsandwichs
That was so accurate I though I was working at my job at the moment.
DerangedApe
I went to expand comments & almost reported you. I stopped for a second to think about it. I didn't but I want you to I thought about it.
ChibiKia
If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I could've retired 3 years ago.
MadCatIV
So you've been a cashier, for, what, 3.5 years?
Fawksy1618
Two weeks...
TheS4ndm4n
My local supermarket actually has that as a policy. Have gotten a ton of free stuff that didn't scan.
ViciousZen
The retail equivalent of hearing someone yell "Opa!" When someone breaks a glass in a restaurant. The worst.
StillNotYouTube
Opa? Never heard that. Clapping, sometimes.
Darkspire
https://imgur.com/Ofq3epJ
FanOfFanboys
Not a cashier but damn I hate hearing that. Feel bad for those who have to hear it and fake a smile
ChibiKia
No smile, no fake laugh, do not encourage that. It'll eventually die out or be relegated to the occasional moron who's slow to catch on.
NiceGreenArrows
You wish.
Strongharbour432
It damages my soul, you never want to strangle someone more than then
Halinspark
"No, it means we dont carry it, and therefore you can't have it." worked for me.