LawyerM0RTY
217960
5088
121
Jul 15, 2017 11:50 AM
LawyerM0RTY
217960
5088
121
DunderMifflinSabre
Better call Saul
internetexplorertho
Cucumbers are 80% water, thus u would be 80% Jesus AND not go to jail.
WHOLEMILK
Stupid
IDrawALot
geckohilarant
Sadly, I have seen worse reasoning lately.
DailyBullshit
That's fair
FunkyMonkey7503
In jail, your cellmate, Jesus, is also in you, making you more like 75% Jesus
SupposeThiswillhavetodo
jhonnyxponny
EroticZombiePants
Water is 100% water, and I can walk on Jesus. Therefore Jesus is not 100% water as I can't walk on water.
Rijtjeshuis
Sure... but it's probably easier to find a frozen lake and be 100% Jesus.
rwnick
not in this heat
ImTooOldToBeHere
Requiesninja
Synt3xf
Watermelon is 92% water, so move out of the way for an almost Jesus melonwalker
randomguy0327
thelaaaaaw
Well the math checks out
Maturepostsandcommentsmayincludesexuallysuggestive
So everyone wants to see what this looks like right. Here's the high resolution one http://imgur.com/rT0yIvO
TehGuard
mount and blade pic@
Treblaine
I can walk on 100% water... I just have to wait till the ice is thick enough.
OmikronWeapon
100% Jesus in the winter then?
Lesurous
Jesus was also arrested for spreading the word he could walk on water so your Jesus percentage increases further.
PandaModeler
You do not have to be Jesus to walk on water. According to the Bible, Peter also walked on water.
AlexIsAStupidSnicker
chucknasty
mrefintechnical
Never before has this gif been properly used
chucknasty
It's my favorite reaction gif
eiyuu99
I can walk on ice and ice is water. However, I am neither in jail nor Jesus.
hansolongdingdongtralala
ItsAGameOfSchlongs
so who's the 28%?
ProfDrDrSpiderpig
Jail Jesus?
Mayyybe
Asking the real questions
PandaModeler
It is obviously Satan.
rwnick
they voted for trump
MightBeHitler
Can we stop bringing politics into every single comment thread. It's all you see on here
Zethol
Jesus can walk on water. Cucumbers are 90% water. I can walk on cucumbers. Therefore I am 90% Jesus. I'm also 0% in jail, however my floor I
Zethol
Is a mess.
OmikronWeapon
How much of your floor though?
NotAHugeSpider
Are cats 100% frightened of you too?
Zethol
Only if they notice the cucumber
Catcomet
Jesus can walk on water. ice is 100% water. I am 100% jesus and not in jail
sniffo
I can deny Jesus three times before any rooster crows, so I could be 100% Peter if I wanted to.
JacksBrokenWind
AnotherVote
404 upvotes, meme not found
iisn00b97
NRXNext
DoctorTurkTurkleton
Hey Ted
JacksBrokenWind
DoctorTurkTurkleton
JacksBrokenWind
DoctorTurkTurkleton
ProfDrDrSpiderpig
So how much in jail does that make Jesus?
TorSverre
Well, according to the story, he got crucified. So you do the math!
itrymybesttooffendsomeone
28%
PokoOnoandtheJamJams
30 speed jail
LadiesInboxMeYourInsecurities
Well he had to make the babies 100% water so... he got the death penalty.
Usipeepee
Yes
blakedrum
About tree fiddy
attofreak
OP will get 100% nailed. That's pretty Jesus.
RichardManeuver
0% They just hung his ass up on a cross. Can't go around stepping on babies.
ProfDrDrSpiderpig
Didn't you get the memo? They took him down and put him in a cave and he became a zombie.
LadyofLifting
3 days
Gaehhn
Because his dad pulled some strings.
PutItInNeutral
Jesus is 100% inside me. But I'm in a Tijuana jail right now.
ProfDrDrSpiderpig
Thinking lubed thoughts your way right now, bruh.
SexualViolence
If depends how deep in the jail Jesus goes...wait
ProfDrDrSpiderpig
Why are you so chuffed?
SexualViolence
Its just a British saying if your happy about something :)
ProfDrDrSpiderpig
I noes, m8. What is it that you are chuffed about, specifically? I applaud your chuffedness. (Am also a Brit.)
SexualViolence
'eyyy fellow Brit :D Im just happy in general, I kinda chose it in the moment so dont remember the specifics , been 4 yrs or so lel
Nocan
Well Jesus inside all of us. There's 7.347 billion people in the world, of which 10.35 million are incarcerated. So 0.14% Jesus is in jail
BengalCat
Jesus is in me?
SmoothSaline
But this doesn't account for the portion of Latino inmates whose names happen to be Jesus. I'd hypothesise the number might be closer to 0.4
OmikronWeapon
God is everywhere though. And Jesus is a third of the Holy Trinity, God. So add that too. He's at least 33,47% in jail.
TheHummusAmongUs
Math checks out (ps...I checked zero percent of the aforementioned math)
ProfDrDrSpiderpig
I'm pretty sure we could be friends.
ProfDrDrSpiderpig
Ok, sure, but the guy in the thing is 72% Jesus and 100% in jail. So is Jesus 72%in jail? Help! Maths!
helicotrema
Jesus came back from the dead only once, but cats have 9 lives (so can come back 8 times), so that makes Jesus 12.5% cat.
byteme8bit
yes, because reasons
Nocan
Well Jesus is in everyone, so in him is 1/7347000000 Jesus. So that part of Jesus is in jail because of him, plus all the other parts
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED
You're not factoring in the number of bad hombres named Jesus that are 172% jesus
RedactedUsername
There are people who are more Jesus than Jesus?
evilgriff
The guy in the thing did his deduction wrong. Dogs can walk on babies, but Jesus isn't in them. His logic is flawed. Discuss.
Fishticuffs
Jesus went to heaven, and all dogs go to heaven, therefore dogs are becoming Jesus.
ProfDrDrSpiderpig
Han on, hang on, hang on. Jesus is definitely in dogs, and both Jesus and dogs can walk on babies. What if the dogs are eating the babies?
WeylandYutaniCorp
What about communion crackers? If you feed a communion cracker to a baby, then a dog eats the baby, then a man eats the dog... Jesuception.
evilgriff
They would be, especially after they were walked on enough. The real question then, if Jesus in the dogs, is Jesus eating babies?
Showmeyourotters
Wait wait wait. If Jesus is in all of us, what about the babies? Are the dogs eating sweet baby Jesus?