AngryAngryHitler
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Context: A man is accused of stealing a woman's purse. Man shoots himself in the foot, verbally, by saying something wasn't in her purse, which he wouldn't know unless he stole it.
CrashMcCloud
We can all learn from this case.
ItsOnlyIllegalIfYouGetCaught
You don't fuck with Judge Judy.
GaryFreakinOak
TIL the urge to correct others is stronger than the urge to not get in trouble.
Bobbysilk
Same idea for when someone gives you their number, say a number wrong and see if they correct
benedictinmycumberbatch
Thanks for explaining it in the context. I didn't get it but now I do now that you have explained it.
Begotten
i'm not understanding why that kind of theft would be in phony civil court
emilyrunnes
Wasn't there an imgurian who got a letter from Judge Judy saying his ex was taking him to court recently?
ihadtochangemyusernamebecauseIdrawpornasaliving
Yes! I remember! Thanks, now it will bother me that I haven't seen an update.
SunflowerKid
This would have made a lot more sense if you added the context that she was listing the contents of her stolen wallet.
txGrizzly
https://media4.giphy.com/media/ITGz83BkUecuY/200.gif
grayjedi
I, too, saw this on Facebook's most viral news items two days ago.
Erwin58
His name is actually "Bird". I, too, thought it was Burt
txGrizzly
https://media0.giphy.com/media/OvrMMjROnZvHi/200.gif
ChubbyStyles
Sauce
smallforward
You guys know Judge Judy's salary is 47 million? No joke. That's almost as much as LeBron James and Kobe combined
torsionspace
Yup. I remember being amazed when I found out.
TheFilesAreINSIDETheComputer
And apparently she only has 52 tapings a year--which means that she's making nearly $1 million per episode.
PhunPhact
That's so awesome. Law school, retire from judging, earn 1 million per ep to arbitrate cases. That's a kick ass career!
DrDoobie
She fosters an insane amount of kids, and donates to an insane amount of charities. So she is using her salary a little better!
DDPB9k5G
source?
annibe11e
I did this to my abusive husband in court. I was telling the judge about him following me but named the wrong park. He corrected me. BUSTED.
VastSpartan
Nice.jpeg
JabbaTheSwampBandit
But.. Isn't that.. Lying under oath?
strawberrycocoa
Depends on if this was sworn testimony or pre-trial hearings.
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officerjt
Or she could have made a mistake on the park name. My husband knows names better than I, I usually just say "the one by__________".
SourSkittlez
Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get away from people like that. I'm sure most judges would understand.
annibe11e
It was to uphold a protection order he was contesting. I feel OK with what I did.
pencilv3ster
This is hardly a reason to mention the notion of perjury.
HitlersHornyNippleRing
Oh shut up...you probably cheated on him and abused him too....
ThatCookieGuy
Um. What?
Blewmeister
Are u ok?
k2viking
That's great. Judge Judy is the best.
Assbandit
2. like a cholo latino and be more dramatic -__-. I could probably find the episode if you want.
Assbandit
1.A lot of it is scripted or directed. I dated someone who was on there, and they pay both parties to come on and they told him to act
k2viking
Of course a lot of it is scripted and directed, duh! It's still the best! I heart judge judy! She's the reason I get "guilty pleasure"
myr14d
Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSUXTFceilo
FindaBalance
Staged??? No way man... That's Judy, she is super legit.
joeinfro
damn shes sharp. like 3 seconds after her reaction the gallery starts murmuring
pmaguire13
I just had to hear her reaction thank you so much
Wibblywobblytime
what a fucking moron
GavinCulver
but I mean what if before going out to a party, she removed the earpiece from her purse in front of him and said "won't be needing this"
fatmanscoop
I never understand this stuff because ppl have to agree to go on judge Judy. Why would they do that?
LokiKingOfJotunheim
Because he's dumb? He's still getting paid regardless for showing up and he likely won't face criminal charges for theft.
Billazilla
Bailiff is thinking: "Boy, you ain't got the sense God gave a rock."
gonzar09
Growing up I used to hate this woman. Then I grew up, and I love her more and more with every episode.
maltbrew
Thanks for the explanation. I would have been TOTALLY lost without it.
longlivecats
NOTE TO SELF: when accusing someone of stealing my bag, always throw in an extra item that wasn't included.
khora
Oh, people do. My mother worked at an insurance company.
koboshi
Make it expensive like Mona Lisa
DodgeDuckDipDiveDodge
Like A MILLION DOLLARS
TheRicM
prncsswzrd
I guess they get so caught up in trying to prove their innocence, they lose all common sense.. or they're truly that stupid!!
Mediumtim
Typical police interrogation technique: "sir, any shoplifting over $50, we need to call in" - "I only took a six pack"
AngelilloPio
Tampons and pads
sangatster
I had a leprechaun in there. There's no way to tell how much I lost!
dagg3r
For people saying it's illegal, just say I believe or to the best of my knowledge. You are not lying, plus it can't be questioned.
Mrrick13
God's work, right there..
vowofloudness
Saying you believe something that you don't believe is, in fact, a lie.
dagg3r
It's a lot different then saying "I think" since for some reason you can question/trivialize that sort of response
godofboredum
Yep, but how the fuck can you prove that such is a lie?
Dammmmmmmmmmm
That to is a good way to get your self fucked over
1941NaihonGaiganYamatoClassBattleShip
How?
R0da
Yeaah, I think there's something about whole truth that you're supposed to agree to or something~
Xenarion
Say it was there and 30 seconds later say "Oh wait no it wasn't there I left it at home"
SkillerPenguin
*too
MermaidLeggings
The hero we deserve
1941NaihonGaiganYamatoClassBattleShip
How?
DerKommisar
it's probably okay on judge judy since it's just an arbitration and makes for good TV though
InfinitusEquitas
Yup, plaintiff is compensated regardless of the outcome.
1941NaihonGaiganYamatoClassBattleShip
How?
mmmmarygray
Not with something small like earbuds. Its very possible for you to think they were there even if they aren't.
dragonfyre1969
How are they going to prove it WASN'T in there something small and pretty much innocuous.
roaringstar4
And because its Judge Judy they dont have to pay anything yay!
allwehavetodecideiswhattodowiththetimethatisgiventous
My dad was a lawyer once and he accused the guy aggressively of hitting a woman with his hand, and this guy said he'd hit her with a stick.
Nekobound
Legitimately shocked. Given OPs name.
Catsnaketax
This post would get more up votes if you explained it a little more.
almondsareimportant
Does it really need that much explaining?
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AngryAngryHitler
You'll get there eventually. I rarely get any posts that make it past 10-20 points.
DesiredUsernameWasTaken
Tip: Make an album with somewhat witty and/or vaguely bro-ey descriptions for each image, post at 7:45 pm PST. Optional: Excessive swearing.
mdenis7290
some context would be gr-eat
Chryos
It literally took 12 seconds for Judge Judy to rule on this one. She listed the stolen items, they said "that wasn't in there." Boom, done.
Aishan
What's not to get? She listed what was stolen, they said something wasn't there, therefore they must have stolen it to know that.
Kilo11
Thiefs admitted there was no ear piece while they were looking for shit
ineednudestofapto
I am guessing he got accused of taking a bag or something then pretty much admitted it when he commented that one of the items was not in it
MorgothTheDemonLordFormerlyKnownAsMelkor
correct
YofuckMcKinley
Did reading the area labeled "context" under the last frame not do it for ya?
mdenis7290
it was added after my comment
NinjaPoopy
The "Dumb and Dumber" remark, isn't that like...verbal harassment or disorderly conduct or something?
sangatster
Only if you are standing on lower ground
GreatHair
Seriously?
Flyndaran
Even in real courts, judges have a freaky amount of power and control. They can jail you for contemp when no law is broken.
YofuckMcKinley
Given how this all went down, they're appropriate labels. If you're ok w/committing robbery, those names probably don't get under your skin
mritty
Judge Judy is not a real courtroom. It's a reality-tv show. The lead actress is not under any obligation to act professionally.
Silver
Actually she is a real judge, has a law degree and everything. It's a real courtroom too, but to get people on they pay the fines for them
mritty
Yes, she's a judge. No, it is not a real legal courtroom proceeding. It is an unscripted television show with no legal bearing (1/2)
mritty
beyond the contract that both parties sign with the producers of the tv show.
Repostradamus
Yep, only thing "legal" about it is the contract they sign before taping saying they will abide by Judge Judy's ruling.
KobaltKnight
Yeah, this is why they handle civil cases. No real need to get the police involved if both people agree to the terms of how to settle it.
mritty
... police do not have anything to do with civil lawsuits. What are you talking about?
EvanED
"No legal bearing" isn't quite right. She is actually an arbitration judge; the parties are going through binding arbitration.
mritty
.... see that (1/2) at the end of my post? That means my post is continued in a follow up message. You should read the follow up.
EvanED
It's the same process as is demanded by a lot of service agreements, except she sets hers up to be like a "real" court and televises it.
TooBrokeToFunction
When this vindictive asshole came to bust my car's two back windows, I called him and accused him of breaking all my windows. He said...1/2
Mediumtim
Typical police interrogation technique: "sir, any shoplifting over $50, we need to call in" - "I only took a six pack"
TheDickofDestiny
Oh clever. Like the "can you recite the alphabet backwards" when pulling over for a DUI. Expecting you to say "I can't even do this sober."
Squeezit
While saying that doesn't actually mean you're drunk, it gives them probable cause to pull you in and blood test you.
imtiredofthinkingupaccounts
we had a college mini course where the officer told us that things like the alphabet backwards/ line walking were testing your comprehension
HypnoChanger
But it's true! I am sober and I can't get past W...
TheDickofDestiny
Yeah, just don't tell em that. Better try and fail than say that lol
TooBrokeToFunction
.."It was only 2 of them!" and then realized what he did and tried to lie about it
pandaman212
So what happened afterwards?
TooBrokeToFunction
Nothing. We filed a police report, but since we didn't actually record the call nor see him do it the police couldn't do anything
nobodyyouveheardof
Nothing, that part hasn't been made up yet.
TooBrokeToFunction
I wish it was made up. Not about to dig up the mechanic bill for my 2000 VW Jetta to prove it, but it's all too true.
Conv
i wish i could give you more upvotes
SecretlyThreeDucksInAManSuit
Fuck. You fucking got me mate, I can't even be mad at that.
nobodyyouveheardof
Yeah, I just took the chance, you could be very well telling the truth :))
oreckvacuum
I love how judge Judy isn't even a judge. She's an arbitrator.
badluckwaldo
Well call Master Chief?
ThatOneFellaWithTheFaceAndTheShirt
Were it so easy
SL4pthePANCAKES
HAHAHAHAHHA! Ohhh it must be late in the day for me, fuck I power laughed at that!
AiurForHire
"Were it not for Judge Judy's council, *teeth clench* I would have glassed your entire PLANET"
thanatos777
She was the supervising judge of the Manhattan family court for, like, ten years. I think she can totally call herself "Judge."
PhunPhact
Yeah, wtf are these ppl talking about??
HypnoChanger
She was a judge, yes, but she is not now. The problem is, the way she acts now is not the way a real judge should act. She breaks normal 1/
HypnoChanger
court procedures, ignores evidence, and makes snap judgements based on who she does or does not like rather than the facts.
PhunPhact
I watch the show daily. I disagree with you saying she's bias in her judgment. But then again, it's tv and the parties agree to it. Oh well
JohnnyricoMC
She's a retired judge. Rulings made during the show are legally binding because they all signed a contract.
itchyPUSS
and shes one of the highest paid personalities on tv. 47 million per year. not a typo.
HypnoChanger
Yeah, in a way it's worse that she isn't a judge. If she was a judge she'd actually have to obey court procedures and follow the law. 1/
HypnoChanger
I remember seeing an episode where the person had photographic proof that they were innocent, and she chose not to even look at it, and 2/
HypnoChanger
declared him guilty on the grounds that she just apparently didn't like him. Never agree to go to Judge Judy. It is a bad idea.
BewareTheIceSpiders
Im so uncomfortable with the idea of making justice an entertainment show.
fasdaffas
Do you love how she makes $47M/yr and couldn't care less?
KillerTofu615
She has more realistic credentials than Doctor Phil as far as I'm concerned
imjustkindofhere
That's because Doctor Phil was never a judge. She was.
KillerTofu615
Judy has never been a judge
oreckvacuum
Yeah she was a family court judge in lower Manhattan right near where I work. Centre street in chinatown
Emjayen
Could be worse. Could be "Dr. Oz"
hemroids2012
Dr. Oz is a pretty well respected cardiac surgeon. A bit of a quack about the other stuff tho...
Zombraina
It's cool if he's a good surgeon and all but how can you consider him respectable considering the bullshit he spews, knowing he took 1/
hemroids2012
I dont, really. Just because hes a fucknut quackery advocate doesn't mean he doesnt have ANY redeemable qualities is all.
Zombraina
the Hippocratic Oath? /2
chrisinsocalif
She is a retired judge and now acting as an arbitrator. Using a private arbitrator is legal and binding.
aaronsheffield
Legal, yes. Binding, not necessarily. Arbitration is only binding of the parties agree to make it so. Nonbinding arbitration is a thing.
bethtadeath
Meh, the show pays anyway
roaringstar4
Considering they dont have to pay anything if they are found guilty (the show pays for it) I doubt anyone is going to contest.
aaronsheffield
They won't contest because they agreed to make it binding by going on the show. The point was simply that not all arbitration is binding.
AFairlyCommonPepe
Objection! Argumentative. They agree to arbitration when they sign up for the show.
aaronsheffield
Overruled. Counsel did not argue that the parties in Judge Judy did no agree, only that it is possible to have nonbinding arbitration.
AFairlyCommonPepe
You're the prosecution in this scenario silly, you can't rule on an objection!
Rabbs
Sustained. You done messed up A A Ron
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Zombraina
Well, they kinda lose. They both get paid to air their dirty laundry, money awarded is taken out of the loser's paycheck.
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Zombraina
HEY, don't you dare compare my Judge Judy to the sickening Kardashians (excluding Kendall)
poochyena
I believe they pay them $1,000.
gifbears
TV shoe
mycoffeeartjourney
TV shoooooooe
gifbears
Teeeeeeveeeeeeeee shooooeeeeeeeee
appollon819
Thank you TV shoe
dragonfyre1969
http://imgur.com/Q2lSvyi
ButterfaceTaintClown
make it rain!
IFNg
Yep, and chiropractors and naturopaths call themselves "Dr."
LokiKingOfJotunheim
That's different. Judge Judy is actually a retired judge. As in she did actual work as a judge prior to becoming an arbitrator on her show.
ihadtochangemyusernamebecauseIdrawpornasaliving
A chiropractor is far more legit than a naturopath. Bunching the two together isn't fair.
IFNg
That's fair, although chiros fall into one of two schools of thought. Some of them are batshit crazy eg. they think they can cure asthma.
MrPornProfessional
A chiropractor has helped me escape a cervical vertebrae fusion. Neuro wanted to cut, chiro wanted 6 weeks. Maintenance 4x/yr, and 1/2
IFNg
2 I should say I'm highly biased, though. My aunt has locked-in syndrome because of a chiro's spinal manipulation, so just a bit jaded.
BoldStrategyCottonTM
I actually know a naturopath and he is a pretty reasonable "MD first" guy. He likes solving cases doctors can't
IFNg
I like it! Some are also quite well trained. I just wish we stopped getting cases like failed natural therapies on infants with pertussis.
ihadtochangemyusernamebecauseIdrawpornasaliving
I think these natural therapies and remedies are great for health benefits, but otherwise not very effective against hard disease.