Me & Motorbikes

Honda 125 Superdream
Not called a Honda Wetdream for nothing , it had less go in it than Ronda Rousey
Edit in - this is in 1983

Yamaha RD250LC
A two stroke beast , if you've never ridden a two stroke - it's powerband kicks in like Amanda Nunes with concrete gloves on

Longer version of turtlegate accident -
https://imgur.com/gallery/6uLgg

Edit in , this is in 1983

Yup , got another one , managed 3months before I had it pinched . Recovered it but it needed work - day after I get it back on the road , the super magnet in a Triumph Estate attracted my bike into it , I decided to use my body to wreck everything else on her car

Longer story on this accident here -
https://imgur.com/gallery/sNjLO

Edit in , this is 1985

Yamaha YB100 - I borrowed it to fix it up for him , lasted 500yds as I took it for a spin to see how it ran - no damage at all ...that couldn't be fixed anywhat

Honda H100S
A sewing machine with tyres , nothing worked on it

Yamaha RD250DX - very little money left , bought this pig awaiting insurance money . The engine seizing was an 'experience' of a lifetime on the motorway , with me squeaking inside my helmet "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking hell"

Honda 250 Superdream , handled like a supermarket trolley that had had its wheels welded up . Hondas tech dept excelled themselves by managing to make a bike from 75% rust .

Suzuki 250 Gamma Mark 1
Made from Aluminium alloy , with the weight of a packet of biscuits , I was under 140lbs then , it wheelspan or pulled wheelies all the flipping time . This is without doubt the best bike I've ever ridden , scraping footpegs & scrathing through the lanes .

A Honda 50cc moped crashed into the back of me and rode off , I followed him for 5miles in what was the most embarrassing road chase ever . Got off bike & asked why he rode off , he said he was scared I'd hit him - haha he had 30lbs on me , I asked for an apology , he told me to duck off . His refusal to apologise cost him 6 points on his licence and a £200 fine .

Anywho , after the cable froze - I finally got the message , motorbikes hate me , stop buying/riding them . Sold the bike , the engine blew up on the new owner at 110mph *yikes* . I'm not ever ever ever riding a bike again ....ahem

Mr Idiot also forgot to fill the petrol up on it once and had to push it 8miles :(

Got convinced to go out by workmates , to get back on a bike after 15yrs not riding one for obvious reasons ....."what could go wrong ?"
Mini Motorcycle - broke leg , got back on

It didn't hurt at all - but my walking on it fecked up nerves . Yes , the noise ? that's the "Serves me right" Alarm going off .

Yup , triple my bad , wife even accused me of breaking my leg deliberately to get out of helping with the kids . I took a (deserved) 3 month lashing worthy of Marquis De Sade

My dream bike - I'd probably forget to put the side stand down & get crushed under it .

This also wraps up all my motorbike stories .

***EDIT IN - these are my motorbike stories - from 1983 -1988 , told for a degree for cathartic reasons , purely as a tale to enjoy/laugh at me or the situations I ended up in as a stupid kid . I was in big debt , I couldn`t afford a car , didn`t have a car licence and although the 2nd accident made me scared to ride , I didn`t have a choice but to get back on a bike at the time . Car driver since 1990 , full no claims ;) ***

Edit in 2 - Note to all - unable to find a time machine , go back 30yrs & tell teenage me to not ride motorbikes..as if a teenager would listen*eyeroll*