Faasel524
78138
1450
30
Aug 24, 2022 5:29 PM
Faasel524
78138
1450
30
duktayp
long story short: missed some days feeding the birds, they started shitting on my car
Mxlespxles
Karl reboot
Jackoftoys
The elites don’t want you to know this but the ducks at the park are free you can take them home I have 458 ducks
CallMeNoodles
How wonderful, 2 creatures in this world care if you are alive and well enough to give them food.
Myothercarisadelorean
CaptnPrizm
I AM KARL KING OF DUCKS
CorgisButtsDriveMeNuts
UsernameMayBeSubjectToChange
They're waiting in attack mode for you to open the front door tomorrow
oilyanaldischarge
This is hilarious! We have three squirrels at work who wait for us and are quite tame. They will even come inside and beg! It's nuts!
Baltzdelirium
Man, I'd feed the crows at my old job. I miss those noisy bastards.
lilirish22832
That's me with the squrriels. If I'm late, they lick the window.
PocketCleric
is your name Karl?
CaveHunter3000
boiphamet
Came looking for this
dmarting
It's like parking lot cats at work. I spend more money on them than I do myself
ITellBadPuns
Just beware of Karl, King of Ducks. The last who didn't fear His wrath were smited by His bread.
SnaccAttacc
We must keep the legend of Karl alive
Randazzo
This is why we don't violate the prime directive
Wubbalubbadubdubb101
Just know that in your moment of greatest need the debt will be paid. The pact will not be forgotten.
darthstormer
You have loyal subjects. Embrace it.
RichardHardley
Not baked goods though, right?
tcdriver
All hail the Duck King....
RonMimnaugh
They were making sure you were ok
Faasel524
That's a nice angle
davebeastly
Darker angle: "Oh he's still alive! The human feast will have to wait, lads." *disappointed quacking*
RonMimnaugh
I would imagine that you could see that look in their eye if that was the case. Usually ducks are pretty chill as long as there is food.
NothingToSeeHereMoveAlong
jesusisherelookbusy
“WHERE’S OUR FUCKING BREAD, KARL?!”
DickSoup
In undergrad, worked as groundskeeper in my apt complex. Students were warned not to feed ducks; became such a problem they had to be killed
Sechran
Seems kind of extreme - don't they have academic probation anymore?
DickSoup
Nope. Straight to hell, apparently.
HoneyBunchesOfStoats
Thank you for that, I've had a hard day and you made me cackle :)
dudehiemer
Maybe let the ducks feed themselves? Free food means more ducks. When you die what is the excess duck population going to do?
drbwaa
Murder
Faasel524
There will need to be a succession plan.
theusernameformerlyknownastildo
Always important.
woozle
you are now the Duck King: master of all
thedudeman519
Shake your tail feathers for the Duck King!
IDontGiveASchmeckle
All hail Karl, king of ducks!
wadatahmydamie
One of them will knock on the door, based on my own experiences.
SpacecouchCowboy
@op
Faasel524
My sworn and eternal rival ha
4Astaroth
One of my favorite stories.
gilliamv
Also one of my favs. Do you remember "Neil the raptard"?
4Astaroth
Not really. Don't know if I read the story.
Faasel524
Not sure I want the gig..
woozle
one is chosen as the Duck King, there's no option.
Faasel524
Understood ( sigh)
woozle
with great power comes great responsibility
WeatherWiz
I hope he’s bready.
HawkmanXLII
I hope you're not feeding them bread, it's really bad for them.
TickerTapeWorm
I think they like capri sun. Plus it’s fun to watch them struggle with the straw.
Malinut
Only in quantity, it's fine if it's a small part of their diet. Though if course if everyone only gives them bread their diet is poor.
CongratsYouAreHereNow
Ducks. Always looking for hand outs, too lazy to do the actual work. You just KNOW that if they could vote, they’d vote Republican and
CongratsYouAreHereNow
Declare themselves a church or a corporation
Malinut
Except ducks taste nice and have a homely quack, republicans leave the acrid taste of burnt integrity in your mouth and debate like a scold.
PirateRubberDuck
I thought we were supposed to stop telling people that because people stopped feeding them and numbers declined.
gallopinggoldfish
Not necessarily a bad thing if their #s were artificially high due to human feedings causing overpopulation
oaberbyamd
True
Faasel524
Oatmeal.
darkhalfbreed
...bread?
lairdepanache
TIL oatmeal is what to feed the ducks
DefaultImgurUsername
Peas and corn are also good.
Jojowmojo
I had ducks for many years. They love lettuce. Also dried mealworms can be purchased from pet store.
DeadOnionSaysWhat
I used to buy those for my pet chickens
HawkmanXLII
Good. Yes, very good.
jupiterspinning
I was the 69th upvote on this comment. Giggity. First time for me, virtually…
TheJomsborgViking
Some say peas as well
GOWood
thylumberjack
Most vegetables are fine for ducks.
aintnothinbutahounddog28
You seen the price of produce recently??
StarmineRendezvous
ilasid
Water was clean, ends up dirty. Had no idea they were so dirty.
Faasel524
They like grapes sliced in half too. But they are fucking expensive. I like ducks an all, but..
imreallynotnice
Ridiculous right? The kids love them but the price of them is a joke
Sarpedan
dont we all, in some small way, long for peas?
deathandtaxes1
They go fucking nuts for a bowl of peas
NirvanaNik
That water got so dirty so fast
creepwood
no peace!
Syrpynt
This Peases me.
StarmineRendezvous