Undevall91
261133
5926
209
I relate to this to much but I just smile back and nod happily. #relateable
Dec 27, 2017 2:58 PM
Undevall91
261133
5926
209
I relate to this to much but I just smile back and nod happily. #relateable
Icecold11111
Row row row your boat, gently down the stream, merrily merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream.
ValoSaurusRex
Ok, who is trying to turn their ex into a meme here?
IamJustinSane
I got some stories that beat most. I slept with my girlfriends mother and she died of an aneurism. Try explaining THAT to your girlfriend.
hilariousvuk
Whydoallusernamesalreadyexist
UnTale
waitwait Imgurian since 2012 and this is your FIRST post and FIRST comment..that's some record shit!(not a creep just really bored at work)
Undevall91
Haha I’m lazy af and lost my password... got the password reset and felt like I didn’t have anything funny to share and... well here we are
orionface
Sooooo.. How you doin?
DiracsDelta
Me: upstanding, married, engineer. Me in private: stoner poly dude with more debaucherous multi-partner experiences than can be recalled.
squishcat
Yeah a guy I talked to on a cuddle buddy website was talking about sending pictures of himself naked as wild... I was just like... gee whiz.
squishcat
gee willikers! Golly gee! So wild! Please don't send me one.
polopolomarkopolopolo
Basic bitches...
ProlapsePlower365
Basic bitches.
370zSteve
ProceduralTexture
Cute.
dekket
I'm part of the crew of a very large BDSM club. None of my friends know. It's... funny sometimes.
DougieCorgiLifter
You are the one I seek.
ProfessorSandwich
thatdudethatslonely
I can’t relate to any sex related stories my friends tell, it just gives me really bad anxiety as I fake my way thru smiling
MadMupp
Always the quiet ones.
QuixoticelixirMama
This. Yes. I am one of the quiet ones. Or used to be.
MadMupp
You cant say youre a quiet one in a humble brag, that makes you the opposite of the quiet one. TL;DR "Thats not how the force works"
QuixoticelixirMama
Yes. You can most definitely say that. That's how the internet works, friend!
Undevall91
1:st, I’m a cis dude that likes boys, 2:nd, there is nothing wrong with sleeping around a little....
ageofpug
Undevall91
... (unless you break a promise to your partner and has sex with someone else.). That is shitty but not “hoe’y”
Loveshanks
You got downvoted for being a guy and spoiling everybody's slutty girl fantasy XD Damn.
Undevall91
Hahaha yep
donttalktomeihaventhadmycoffee
Sometimes I get embarrassed when playing CAH, and have to pretend that I don’t know what some of the words mean.
whatupmyknitters
lucky for me i've owned the game long enough by now that i can just be like "yeah we had to look that one up ages ago"
whatupmyknitters
...but seriously, who doesn't know what bukkake is by now??
SweetLikeIcing
As a married lady who waited until their wedding day, i love hearing mt friends slut stories it all sounds like a soap opera to me
[deleted]
[deleted]
SweetLikeIcing
no way, I love my husband and I can do sluty things just with him, its kinda cool the way you grow together and can try out new things 2geth
SweetLikeIcing
and although it's fun to hear my friends stories, I also see how some are lonely or regret the things they do
Undevall91
Wow, well my inbox is filled with disappointed dudes and some fun and positive stuff but hey I figured some of you wished for storytimes?
SirBlades
lol they should know better. That's their fault/loss
rstnghmcdfce
Yes, definitely want stories. I bet my gf beats yours, maybe beats some porn stars even. Still want to hear yours though!
CreatedAnAccountJustForThis
@Undevall91 and @rstnghmcdfce stories PLEASE! :D
owlest
lol wut
somanywonders987
Lots of embarrassing stories from Grindr. I get that feel.
Undevall91
PatronSensei
Shouldn’t be a competition though, stay pure y’all
SmolTenk
its kind of weird, I am the only virgin among my friends, but I am also the least vanilla (still pretty vanilla).
Jazzgirl205
I've been with 1 man. Some women think I have no life experience. I've been to Europe, been a journalst, been shot at and on network TV.
SmolTenk
Sounds like one hell of a story. Never understood why the amount of sexual partners is so important to some.
Metals4J
French vanilla. The fancy kind, with real vanilla seeds in it.
CLabCpt2021
Now i'm gonna ask girls if they want some of my fancy French vanilla seed.
ageofpug
What's a virgin
missleadinginiformation
A drink without alcohol
SmolTenk
Means you have not bumped parts with another human yet.
shriek
an airline
TrustedxProfessional
BE GONE THOT!!
GeneralPumpkin
So, ima tell a story, and mayhaps some of you fuckers may get some amusement from it. Twas a dark and stormy night. 1/?
GeneralPumpkin
I was but a young pumpkin back then, so wide eyed, so innocent. I was at a female friends birthday party, celebrating her 17th. 2/?
GeneralPumpkin
Booze was flowing like water. Her parents had skipped out for a night because they trusted her and her friends to not wreck the joint 3/?
GeneralPumpkin
I was stolidly munching through my third pot brownie, uttering the battlecry of all those new to baked bud 'i dont feel anything yet' 4/?
GeneralPumpkin
in through the door walks a girl, followed closely by two lads. I didnt pay much attention beyond 'oh, new people' and went back to eatin 5?
GeneralPumpkin
Lo, friends. I was not prepared for the events of this night. They put beer on the kitchen counter and wandered off. 6/?
pushingchildrenintotraffic
I once touched another person. I know. Wild.
Valfheim
Might seem trivial to some, but to others a simple touch is hopeful thinking to say the least.
micmic00
Youre absolutely mental!
CredibleHulk
Gross. I hope you washed your hands after.
Y3llowHat
ConfusedSanta
Whore.
JapAnus
A girl complemented me on my looks once. Once.
DetectiveSherlockHolmes
I once saw someone touch someone else
Dartimus
Did it make you feel dirty?
Arsikere
was it by accident?
Quizz25S
You party animal, you.
rockfireman
You slut
Mysnackpack
WorkerLurker
I once used a classroom in college like a sex dungeon after hours. Kinda mild.
samsneed
LarryTesler
Gross
HungarianOxPenisInABlender
I once thought what it would feel if I touched a woman. It was pretty exhilarating
ZaWithDude
Touched? Pssh. I've gone as far as only looking at other people for years.
ZaWithDude
That came out weirder than expected.
ThatGuyWhoIsntThatGuyOrIsHe
He's a madman
dmbelafan
loononHHL
I know. The girl at the convenience store when she gave you the change back.
mavruda
Dang that's wild. The best I could do is to yell from window and quickly hide when they turn heads.
RooplePooples
I've thrice contacted another homo sapien in a sexual manner
Phischstaebchen
my virgin friends thinks that is great
BojanStankov
whatevsies
Contracted?
Metals4J
Thrice? Zounds! Thou art a deviant most foul!
SirD1000
Wonder perhaps if a nickelodeon of such events exist? Not that I would ever be interested in such a thing; no, no, no...
ProxyPlayerHD
look at Mr Social here going around touching people, Meanwhile people like me only know what a Human being looks like from The Internet
CptButtbeard
if we are to believe your username that would actually be pretty wild but for an entirely different reason
Raltsun
Maybe they're into that.
ShentoSama
They about to be in that bus.
MrStudMcMuffin
Un0riginalComment
Now someone reverse Colbert's slow smile!
2manyfavorites
Saved
DownvotesAreFun
As introvert, this is already wild for me.
BannedbyastupidMod
Wild? Boy, I'll tell you wild. I once used a Wii Controller, without the wrist strap.
therealpdawg
I took the tag off my mattress. You know, the one that says, "Do not remove under penalty of law." Yeah, I'm unstoppable.
IW42
It says "under penalty of law not to be removed except by the consumer. Are you the consumer? If not, can I have your autograph?
WuProgress
Well, He then has to eat it tho. I doubt it's tasty.
therealpdawg
Of course I'm not the consumer. You sleep on mattresses, not eat them, silly.
Skizzlesnap
When my wife speaks of her “wild” days I sit back and sigh, knowing that she doesn’t even hold a candle to my “wild” days.
QuixoticelixirMama
This is how I feel towards my husband.
bigbootybigfoot
I prefer not to speak about suck dark times with my husband. He's never asked and I never plan on bringing it up.
Jchamberlainhome
That typo makes the reply that much more better.
bitemark
Great Freudian slip
SerialChillinSpree
This shall raise higher than the original.
frozensoul402
MFW people at the bar play "Never have I Ever."
DM2323
fuck that game, my friends think I'm a whore.
XeononSolomon
I always preface it with "yall are fucked, Im mother Theresa
SarcasticComment
Ya... well... "Never have I ever baptized the bodies of dead Hindus into Christianity." And boom goes the dynamite.
HsuDoNihm
Never have I ever... liked getting out of bed.
Robbie9595
Never played it
judeclementine
fuck I always lose that game
youcantproveit
In my circle of friends, that's called "(my name) drinks". I've never not been the first person out :(
Raltsun
Username doesn't check out, I guess.
darksamus8
SarcasticComment
Yup. You had a one night stand, I have stories involving Ladyboys from Thailand.
Itchy73
Ahah fuck. When you just gotta know.
Undevall91
Haha I sometimes lie during “never have I ever” ...
dachicken
huh. just looked that up, never have i... there is no way o.o
sunyudai
I have the problem where I'll get distracted, forget we are playing,and absentmindedly take a drink. I have no idea what I just admitted to.
CrunchyLookingLeaf
Damn drinking games slowing down my alcoholism
AncientPostNecromancer
Damn alcoholism speeding up my drinking game.
BenchedWinger
I'm sure a lot of people do.
E3554ia3333221g9
Never have I ever lied during "never have i ever"
reider10
You’re breaking the ONE RULE
serpentinebaboo
Yeah, but no one wants to hear about OP and the dog and the peanut butter. Lying is a kindness.
Ocolura
Yeeah. One time I got my friend with buttsex. She cried because she admitted in front of family. She should have just lied. Lol
TyfereoBrown
If youre emberrassed because of buttsex you shouldnt play this game
sunyudai
Aww.... but I'm depraved and love storytime!
DuchessGummiBunns
Me too, otherwise I'd lose every time
inkgrrl
I don’t. I stare them right in the eyes, admit to everything, establish dominance.
HorseMcFucker
Just remember, "Never have I ever gotten shot in the head" Is insensitive when you're deployed. Especially If you've been shot in the head.
SarcasticComment
It's cool. Extra Hole Joel will probably forget all about it due to his inability to form long term memory...
Conflict
I found out during a game of that that some of my friends all participated in a rather large orgy. Thats info I never needed or wanted.
Conflict
So lying can be good. Its totally fine to do.
skincancerisfun
because it made you feel left out? Yeah that would hurt..
Conflict
No. Orgy ain't my thing. 3 some? Ya im in. Orgy? Nah ill pass lol.
MasterPrime
I'm a dude and there's only one person with better hoe stories than me.
MartinhoDenHaag
Didnt know you heard about everyones else their stories too.
MasterPrime
A lot of my friends are very vanilla and kind of prudish. I'm a daddydom who plays with rope. They're all very freaked out by the concept.
MartinhoDenHaag
Thats what you know, some people with crazy stories are quite discreet. Atleast the people I along with.
MasterPrime
I have maybe 2 or 3 friends outside the kink circles that aren't vanilla. Just not social about it.
1LurkTherefore1Am
a farmer?
ProceduralTexture
Then I can't wait to hear your Mom's stories ;)
MasterPrime
Also a bit of a prude. Maybe that kind of restriction during developmental years is why I enjoy the free expression of sex now.
ProceduralTexture
Puritanical religions basically created the weird kink they rail against.
nigglemaster
Bro hoes! After my last gf, I decided to just fuck around for a while. I gotta say, this is a lot easier and more fun.
Jkally
after a longer term relationship I tried that. Had a lot of fun but now in another relationship. I find myself much much happier and whole..
LeadByBadExample
I'm a dude, too. No one I know has better hoe stories than me. I would go so far as saying my hoe stories are hoe-ier than thine.
MasterPrime
I mean it's not really a competition. I'm just glad there's more properly slutty dudes.
LeadByBadExample
It's not a competition? Why do it, then?
MasterPrime
Because it feels good and I'm of the opinion that it's healthy to have no hangups regarding sex.
LeadByBadExample
Oh, those are good reasons too!
Undevall91
Maybe it’s another dude then?
MasterPrime
no she's an ex. she's kinda crazy but has some excellent tales of bein a ho
Metals4J
Story time!!!!!!
IamTonyStark
SarahsEXHusband
Like how much of a ho?
MasterPrime
Well, she forgot to show up to my 21st birthday because she was out fuckin a hobo for drugs.
SarahsEXHusband
Dirty Mike and the boys?
Undevall91
Oh, sorry to hear that...
MasterPrime
Why? I'm a ho too. We all got our weird shit. We're just open about it. Like the things we find fun other people find shameful.
whatupmyknitters