Th3HoTtCaRl
227418
14658
1065
10 year old stand up...
Mar 8, 2016 7:56 PM
Th3HoTtCaRl
227418
14658
1065
Captaindoodoo
Her parents aren't funny.
MadSensei
So little, yet, so good at burning.
nelsontl1959
Can't wait to see her on Comedy Central. :)
flatdeer
I love that the chair is nearly as big as she is.
WillJeSuis
jonhnefill
That one was my favorite!
DomesticCatgirl
Plot twist: that's a young Daniel Tosh.
someswedishgirl
Again with this kid? Ugh.
jennym123
I had been "the funny kid" for my entire childhood. This girl blows away any joke I could have made.
DiscoPandaYea
I just didn't realize that was a girl
MillyAir
https://youtu.be/NOzDX0Ufgds
BangForTheBuck
Little shit is dissing Van Halen but probably listens to Justin's beaver
LizLemmon
I don't take kindly people who are dissing Van Halen
Wakborder517
She doesn't seem like the Justin Beaver type
LizLemmon
That is only because she is wearing grunge outfits chosen by daddy.
Wakborder517
I didn't even mean to type Beaver. You got into my head.
feedmeyoursins
she's making the little-kid shtick work for her
AmbiguousGardens
All her jokes are about age and she doesn't wrote Any of them
EroticZombiePants
Yeah this career won't last much longer.
Hashtagusername
It goes in 2 directions at this point; she grows up and her age jokes aren't as clever or she grows up hot and her age jokes don't matter.
BilldeGrasseHawkingTheArchaeologist
"And then not have Foo Fighters?" Brutal +1
ggaarreett
I feel like this girl is gonna grow up to be your weird aunt that's always reading Mein Kampf posting anti-religious quotes on Facebook.
Hashtagusername
She seems highly cynical for a ten year old.
pithacus
i am just hoping that she does not grow up to swing from a wrecking ball.
sorrynotsorryimnotcanadian
I bet this girl is super nice and humble at school.
BillUvrights
Lol
CaptainAsshole
I'd be disappointed. I hope she has everyone pissing themselves
RectangleJuice
Or maybe the kind of girl who would go home and microwave her hamster.
RectangleJuice
Or maybe the kind of girl who would go home and microwave her hamster.
CaptainAsshole
Wtf kind of laugh did i just make...
Moxmox
she has to be 'the funny one' coz from the looks of her, she ain't gonna be a cheerleader
irishfury
She's freaking 10! Ask yourself why you just judged the attractiveness/worth of a little girl. I hope you feel dirty.
Syng420
Ah yes, because everyone is shallow and only cares about looks. /s
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Syng420
Yeah, no. I know plenty of average and unattractive people that are awesome. Once their personality comes out, no one cares about looks.
Moxmox
just keep tellin yourself that shrek
trip8electric
I don't care about looks either but the sad truth is that a majority of people do. It's still a yardstick by which people are measured.
FuzzyNuggets
Cobain/Foo fighters line got me. Well played
StoptheInfamousElGuapo
the flintstones bit cracked me the FUCK up!!!
B0ULLIE
She gets funnier everytime she's reposted
ductilezero
Nope! Makes me more acutely aware how fucked we are by coveting this. Which is obviously contrived, and not and not truly gifted children.
ductilezero
Kudos to her agent He's perfectly slimy.
Wakborder517
I just bought tickets to the Dallas Comedy Festival! She will be there, can't wait!
ductilezero
How much did you spend on educating youth to make better decisions probably not a dime exectpt for your
Wakborder517
Not a penny. I've spent enough on my education, so why would I spend more on someone else's?
PriscillaYvonne
When is it?
Wakborder517
It is a 5 day event starting the 22nd. Saffron is on the 23rd. http://www.dallascomedyfestival.com/show-schedule.html
PriscillaYvonne
Thanks! I'm buying my tickets now. I'm from Dallas (Lakewood)
Wakborder517
No problem! Maybe I'll see you there, random internet stranger of Lakewood. I'm in Uptown Dallas, btw.
staylurkin
Heyyy I live in Dallas too!
Wakborder517
What part?
staylurkin
North Dallas. Forest Ln and Marsh
Wakborder517
Ok cool. I'm in uptown. You a native to Dallas?
staylurkin
Born and raised, but I've lived all over the metropolex.
IPostedWhat
"What's the deal with cafeteria food?"
orangeisthenewbasic
"Do I throw it up right after, or wait til next period?"
ketochris
"What's the deal with airline peanuts?"
OriginalNameDoNotSteal
It's both undercooked and burnt... I'm not even mad about that, I'm mad this expert in thermodynamics is making my mac n cheese, and poorly
ShakeDogResurrected
I don't always eat meat. But when I do, it's a mystery.
SpaghettiFox
*slap bass*
JAFIOI
"Who were the ad wizards that thought THAT up?"
MrRandom314159
The joke "What's up with airplane food?" Details not just asking if there is a problem within it, but makes light that airplanes are "up".
SexualizedChocolate
Never thought about that TIL
LevitatingYodaFuckwit
"W..wow what a terrific audience"
ilikebaseballbetter
lol i just watched that episode last night!!
extraordinaryagility
They'll never learn how to sous vide...
UnderwearThief
"What's up with airplane food?"
Ultrafire3
(what is it with this woman and tiny hats!?)
YeahFairiesWearBootsNala2011
Their altitude
itchyPUSS
What's a pedophile say? 'Do you want some candy little boy?' 1/2
itchyPUSS
What's a Jewish pedophile say? 'Do you want to buy some candy little boy?'
BlitzerRhames
What's a black pedophile say? "Hi I'm R Kelly."
Livesinapineappleunderthesea
Nice
Refmylife
Heh. Jews are thrifty.
lewlzz
hehehehehhehe. thrifty. made me laugh :)
lyricallove
No but seriously, what was up with that "food"?
IlikePudding
"fish are funny right?"
greenbrd65
"What's the deal with homework? You're not working on your home!"
ZombieDK
I'm gonna need this girls name and tour schedule
WisdomPlaytime
Her name is Saffron Herndon.
corrcorr
"Come back stage and meet her"-Chris Hanson probably
CaptainAsshole
I'm trying to figure out if she's funny or its just funny bc she's a kid..
corrcorr
What's the difference? A lot of jokes black people tell wouldn't be funny if they were white.
DoctorPutin
The Difference is a child doesn't stay a child but a black person stays black with the exception of Michel of corse
CaptainAsshole
I laugh all the time at black jokes told by white people
Drzhivago138
"Cracker, please!"
eetsumkaus
if your jokes can be just as funny told by someone else...you aren't telling the right jokes
CaptainAsshole
A funny joke is a funny joke. If someone else tells your joke and the response is "eh" it wasn't that funny of a joke. Hence the best jokes
CaptainAsshole
Are repeated thru time.
eetsumkaus
part of the joke is leveraging the situation and who you are. Obama joking about his birth only works because he's Obama
CaptainAsshole
Nah. Plenty people joke about him
eetsumkaus
I'm talking about the Correspondent's Dinner joke with the Lion King clip. At that point, most comedians had already beaten it to death. 1/
eetsumkaus
2/ if it came from anyone other than him, it would have been a lame, overused joke. It's also better because he was making fun of Trump
WyattGuethlein
Who is this?
DoggieDoo
If you look very carefully at the bottom of every single photo, you can see her name watermarked!
WisdomPlaytime
Saffron Herndon. Her dad's a failed comedian. He trained her to be a comedian in his stead. He writes for her but they swear she writes it.
WyattGuethlein
Thanks
elpher
I mean, do you have evidence that he writes all her stuff aside from speculation based on her age?
Alastor3
good question
Hashtagusername
Some of these I can totally see a 10yo writing. However, the online dating one, I'm sorry but I can't see a 10yo undertstanding that comedy.
SpyMonkey3D
So ... speculations.
Hashtagusername
Do you believe she did?
elpher
You could have just said "no".
dickwrigley
I don't have evidence that bigfoot isn't real.
dyingsincebirth
Props for her even getting up to the mike. It takes some guts. Whether or not she had it written for her, who cares. 90% of comics do it
[deleted]
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dyingsincebirth
Then she's in good company.
unitedhello
90% of comics don't have the money to hire a writer.
jellydonut
The ones that don't, just steal their material!
ductilezero
Really This shouldn't be going on. Youth is innocence leave it be.
smaug777000
90% of comedians do not have their jokes written for them, maybe the top 10% do
AllTheseFlavorsAndYouChooseToBeSalty
He meant successful ones. Okay joking aside there are definitely great comedians that can even just freestyle it. Moshe Kasher comes to mind
HipHopapottamus
*mic ... ... when she got up to Mike, he went to jail... remember?
JustinHudson
I laughed too hard at this
dyingsincebirth
The autocorrect nightmare continues. Good looking out.
ExcuseMe2
Carlos Mencia and Dennis Leary are not 90 percent of comics...
HelloMax
She doesn't have the life experience to be afraid or timid. It could work big time in her favor
Wakborder517
Her dad is a comedian too, but he said she writes her own jokes. Pretty impressive.
Vacationdad
I'm a stand up in dfw and a lot of us agree that her dad writes her stuff. A lot of us also think it's not cool that he puts her out there.
WisdomPlaytime
1) She & her dad obviously have a pact to tell everyone she writes the jokes. Those jokes are so obviously written by her dad though.
WisdomPlaytime
2) He couldn't make it as a comic, so he's training his daughter to do it for him. I'm sure she's loved & cared for, but I wish he'd let her
WisdomPlaytime
3) be a kid & choose her own path. Teaching a little girl to memorize & perform such dark subject content isn't healthy for her.
feedmeseymour
Dark content? It's so tame
hellotito
yeah please continue guessing and assuming about this family you don't know in any way whatsoever.stop being cynical and stop making shit up
youaintevenfittostepinshaqsarena
According to who? Lol her performing stand up is fine if she wants to do it in the future atleast she'll remember how jokes are written and
buttstain
Im not trying to be a dick but I highly doubt she wrote those jokes.
DonaldTrumpsgapingasshole
"I'm not trying to be a dick..." (I'm gunna be one but I just want it be clear it was an accident) :)
Krono562
What he said.
BlunterSpy
Most comedians don't write their own jokes.
Smysha
I think my favourite comedians write their own jokes.
Hashtagusername
The online dating one... a ten year old is not (without a completely broken childhood) going to remotely grasp the implications of that one.
McGaffs
you'd be suprised what children with an internet connection are exposed to. source: m watching my little brother grow up at the minute
Vacationdad
I'm a comic in DFW where she's from, and we all think her dad is writing her stuff and it's really uncomfortable that he's putting her on.
McGaffs
Imagine though. a world of originality, where a 10 year old girl can be more creative than 90% of the jokes on here... aahh *sips tea*
ParsleySage
I hear most actors don't even write their own scripts.
DeadEndKing
Word.
axisxtoxic
Timing and delivery are both crucial to a successful standup routine. Even if she didn't write a single joke, it was still her on stage.
LizLemmon
Like 14-yo photographers with $10,000 Nikon lenses who take a winning wildlife photograph on safari in Africa. "Well, he pressed the button"
kingj07
In that same respect, all an adult did was 'press the button.'
LizLemmon
Yeah fuck sincerity. That is a good lesson for a 10-yo kid.
eetsumkaus
that may be true...but at least someone GIVES her jokes, instead of her stealing from someone else...
buttstain
I've heard the fAoo fighters joke before.
buttstain
Foo fighters*
SlurmsMcKenzie
fAoooooooooo fighters of London...
sirl0in
me too bruh
Snoot92
I may be wrong, but I think I remember her saying that somebody helps her write her jokes.
Hashtagusername
helps? I helped land the Apollo on the moon.
ishouldhavethoughtofthisusername
Dick!
PrincessWordplay
This girl is going places. It's so nice to see a female in comedy that doesn't base the entire routine on ex boyfriend and period jokes.
WolfOfMay
OMG yesssssssssssssssss!\
FactChecker101
To be fair, guys tell a lot of dick jokes and jokes about crazy ex girlfriends, so why is this more funny?
Syng420
Because they're men.
FreelanceSpermDonor
Give her time.
lexielaughs
And horrible sex stories. Stories about horrible sex and horrible stories about sex. No need to exploit our grossness for attention.
86Zephyr
The religious are free beer tho
mousemarie94
I've never heard a period joke from a comedian. Lots of dick jokes from both sexes, still funny
bv310
Well yeah, but dick jokes are classic staples of the format. It'd be like going to a Van Halen show and not hearing You Really Got Me.
mousemarie94
I mean I also think vagina jokes are funny I just don't like them when it is the entire set. Everything in moderation
ArdentSlacker
Last time I heard a period joke... was at a renfaire.
LearnedCoward
Janeane Garofalo
CerebrawlHemmorage
What about Helen Austin? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM2CORdyv8k ;)
Nize426
Doesn't get dad write the jokes for her? That's what was said the last time I saw this. But I don't care enough to fact check
TheHolmberg
Because she hasnt had either.
clutester
Thanks for explaining that joke
IsDisassembled
She might have ex boyfriends, but they're in jail.
eetsumkaus
I was gonna say something, but then realized "relationships" at that age last just as long as whatever contact she had with these guys...
danishjuggler21
That's the joke
PrincessWordplay
She might. I was 11.
NotMyScienceAccount
Haha! Wait, what?
NotAnIroningBoard
I never had either when I was 11. But then again, I'm a boy.
VisaliaJim
I was 11 once too!
MlCHAEL
Wow you two have so much in common! So cute! :D
KnockemD
Yay, scissors time!
jkw001
By now she is probably 15 considering how long ago it was the first time I saw this posted
[deleted]
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TASTEyoucanSee
You tried man.
BilldeTurlock
Didn't you hear the news??!? New Rule: Only the OP can call "repost"!
Vacationdad
No, she's about 12 now. She's based out of Dallas and I'm a comic in Fort Worth
hawaiianatheart
I think she’s older than 15 now
CaptVito
Too old.
swatdattwat
Almost legal!
LizLemmon
Do you live in Somalia?
Theflyingcactus
Not close enough
TheNordicMage
legal in denmark :) even more legal in italy :)
AtlasUnbound
...screamed the stable boy...as he was dragged off to prison...
Outlawnightmare
You're one of those guys she talked about
[deleted]
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NewToJihad
you both should be on a watch list
WumpleyRabbit
Obviously I hope he's joking.
swatdattwat
I am...no biggie
R3tr0P0tat0
Geez... that Kurt Cobain joke was savage. Technically I agree, but still.
lostXhighway
People should be less tolerant of goobers, like you, using "savage" as a common adjective now.
R3tr0P0tat0
I've only ever used it on imgur. I feel it doesn't fit anywhere else. Also... Goober?! Lmao!
MachinatioVitae
Last thing Kurt thought before pulling the trigger? "Hole's gonna be big."
samuspwnzj00
Slow clap for you.
MyMorningWood
Hella old joke though.
ThatWeirdGuy11
Well shes not wrong...
Meeshomatic
Why do you have more points than the top comment yet you're still under it?
Flatscreenface
Note the Foos are finished (thank god, about time) can we reanimate Kurt's corpse?
Catsnake69
Grohl is a badass. Amazing drum work with Queens of the Stone Age. But Foo Fighters? They "aight."
DirtyMcGerty
Dude, it's Native American now.
insearchoftheperfectusername
jesus fuck that was a good line
jshimoskie
I cant +1 this enough.
EinUsernameFuerAlleDieDieDeutschVerstehen
I am at your side, fellow imgurian. here my +1
5A5Wolf
As a native, I didn't get it at first... But you..... If I had a scalping knife....
CaptainObviousAndHisMinions
Yeah am gonna say no way in he'll...
GaryTheCuttlefish
*hair
darnyoulikeasock
*hail
GreenGoblinKrunch
*heil
Ariolimax
*hill
Livesinapineappleunderthesea
*holl
ocdmn
*heli
HiDadImDad
Jesus fucking christ, this thread.
BabyDontHertzMeNoMho
*hall
Moxmox
meh, we've had like 2 good songs from the foo fighters, prolly woulda been way more from cobain
elpher
bro are you seriously sassin' the foof right now?
LadyLaunchpadMcQuack
Foof
throwaway151639
Bro he is so sassin' the foof right now..
enstreme
yeah i'm so glad we lost one of the best songwriters of the 90's in exchange for some more bland radio rock
enstreme
*radio RAWKKK
Gasplessly
Stupid people downvoting you when the foo fighters are definitely shit and nirvana were so amazing. I wish dave would stick to drums.
WhateverIFeelLike666
You don't get to choose someone else's career choice. Suicide sucks but Kurt could've easily fixed himself and survived. Dave does his best
andrewlandon71
You've obviously never heard the first Foo album. Or, say, any of their non-radio songs.
enstreme
well, i own their entire discog save for that saint cecelia ep they released a few months ago. i love the foo fighters but i'd trash 1/2
DeadEndKing
It's formulaic rock, fueled by Grohl's persona and good guy image. Nothing as influential as Nirvana.
tourettic
Hey how did you get upvotes in this debate? I don't get Imgur. Oh well, whatever.
enstreme
("stacked actors", "everlong", and p. much everything off that 1994 album) but a good 60% of their output is bland power chord chuggin music
enstreme
everything they did (yeah, even that FANTASTIC debut) in exchange for just a couple more nirvana albums. foos did some great songs, 2/3
enstreme
well, i own their entire discog save for that saint cecelia ep they released a few months ago. i love the foo fighters but i'd trash 1/2
tourettic
You're being downvoted to hell for speaking the truth. Foo Fighters aren't these guys: /a/2n1LH
andrewlandon71
No, the Foo Fighters are what happened when those guys grew up. Or were your parents always as exciting as wallpaper paste?
tourettic
I wouldn't go that far, but you agree, Nirvana was the better rock band, Foo Fighters is the radio friendly group of talented musician/dads
DeadEndKing
Kurt was not a great songwriter, nothing he did compares to that era's grunge. Still decent. And the Foo Fighters are bland as hell.
BreadyStinellis
Thank you. Nirvana was not a great band. Influential, yes. Good? Not so much.
DeadEndKing
I agree. The sound wasn't anything new, but the mood inspired a lot of other bands such as Failure, and the legacy continues.
papasmurf1118
Well that's just like your opinion man
DeadEndKing
For which he must be downvoted to hell.
enstreme
RIP me, lol. I'm pretty much prepared for it tho. You can't criticize FF, Queen, or anything else Imgur has a hard on for without downboats
papasmurf1118
Well if it makes you feel any better, I didn't downvote you. I just responded as the Dude