Sep 14, 2014 3:24 PM
625868
6798
89
Odderpop
Check your pockets
thedaythecatdiscoveredmirrors
Don't let it in your house, they destroy everything.
Murica1776FYeah
I love these superhero origin stories.
steakfight
it's a raabiees raccoon it's a rabies raccoon it's a raabiees raccoon it's a rabies raccoon... To the tune of Weebl's Baby Baboon.
amishpornstar
You found Helen Keller's kitty..skittles!
theorigionalOG
Holy fauck Raykins, Furry little bitches.
Mookystick
femalenerdsarethebest
Dem claws!
swetz
The tags are what really made this a win for me... "rabies"
nighttimesleepaids
Go get some large glass marbles. Big enough that he can't swallow them. Little magpies, raccoons are... so cute.
meoowth
I got fucking mauled by a raccoon less than 24 hours ago. Things will never be the same.
Yes I got rabies shots.
LaceyLouWho
There's no damn banana.
Pommo
Dont touch its poop
YouKnowWhatiMeme
Went into the room, only to find, Gideon's bible.
ifyouknewmeyouwouldbeme
A size 12 foot for scale? What is this nonsense?
stegg31
if i could have a domesticated racoon, i totally would
uwsewing
Only to find gideons bible AAAAAHHH
WhatzitTooya
They are soo cute! If they only would not become so utterly destructive when they get older...
IckyLilBickyJahJahandWill
I used to rehab baby raccoons through a vet clinic, awesome experience and the cooing is ADORABLE
PissingShitMonkeys
I had a pet raccoon before, he used to follow me around the house and just climb up onto my shoulder, he would cry if he got left alone too.
happylittlesloth
Oh my God I had a baby raccoon too! The problem with mine is that even though I had it as a baby it was still too wild to keep as a pet.
NotReallyJustKiddingIfOffendingAndNotACompliment
They are fun until they want to talk with you about your rubbish.
Azraelization
Give him guns.
homegrownhippie
OHMYGOD I WANT HIM
guruofsleep
Fixed it. OP blocked banana.
KierCalhen
To all who are saying the raccoon will become mean and have rabies: You have no idea how to take care of and domesticate an animal, do you?
trippedoutkitty
You don't domesticate a raccoon. -_- I have one.
Coonninja
I've got one, he's a sweetpea and a coward of the highest order. Of course, every personality is different. Did you get a demon? :D
CyberAkuma
You have no idea the difference between taming and domestication do you?
FastandBiCurious
I don't know anything about that stuff, but what about their natural instincts?
ShamrockFury
Raccoon don't coo, they aren't pigeons. They grumble.
iliketokeepitsimplestupid
Like Rocket?
mcstreetz
I'm pretty sure they Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Bubby, they grumble, they coo, they do it all.
Mashirodaisuki
As someone with a pet raccoon, yes, they do coo
What does the raccoon say?
insectman
As someone who owns a raccoon... Do the responsible thing and take it to a wild life sanctuary or a wildlife rehabilitation facility.
LosPer
This needs to be higher up in the post...
It will be sweet for the first two years and then it comes to a point where they just destroy everything. It's like having a toddler that...
Seriously... do the right thing. Nurture does not overcome nature.
KlassikalStuff
Ugh +10000 I did rehab and release on a squirrel. Man the first couple months is great but then nature kicks in. :c
I did wildlife rehabilitation myself and forfeited my licensing to do so when I no longer had the proper facilities.
Not to mention the hoops I had to jump through to obtain proper permits to legally own mine. Good luck with that
I love my raccoon and her very rare sweet moments but I wish I would have given her up because now she cannot be turned loose.
Has wicked teeth, claws and can climb sheer walls. This is NOT a pet. Don't get me wrong...
sphincterstretcher
why haven't you given yours up to a wildlife rehab?
Mine had juvenile cataracts and is vision impaired. So that's why he didn't go to rehab.
There are hundreds who are unsuitable for release each year. They are also sold by breeders as 'pets'.
Well, because I know it would be much harder on her. She would be kept in a cage for the rest of her life or euthanized at this point 1\2
My home is her "territory" and I don't want to put that stress on her. I've accepted what I've created. I deal with the consequences
chemistrydoc
They are cute but when they are adults they can rip your damn face off. Dem claws are legit.
reineseele
Defacing the Enemies of the Universe.
Welcome to my life 20 hours ago. Well, my fingers. Such pain. Thanks for saving my life Louis Pasteur.
thatgirlnoonetalksto
you could get the little claw covers on them and then they'd just be fabulous.
I have those soft paws things? I did ask our coon to try them out, very nicely. He said no. :/
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
We had one in the house for 2 days before releasing it. That fucker got into everything and ate/chewed anything he could.
craz3d
I've had 2 black labs since puppy time. Coons are barely worse, but worse. Grew up in area with Coons. Crazy.
Backstory: someone had kept it as a pet, which is illegal. It was young enough to be released into the wild but had to find a good (1)
(2) Spot to release him, so we agreed to keep him for a few days til a good area could be found. Messy creatures....
emirii614
As long as you have the gland that makes them violent as adults removed they are fine to keep.
There is no gland like that... you're an idiot.
MomijiInada
I think he is talking about its nuts.
kazzy08
Can confirm. One tried to eat my face. She was captive born and raised...
What did you do to provoke that reaction?
Nothing really. She was reaching breeding age so her hormones were going crazy. I shouldn't have held her at that time.
TheIceman2288
Somewhere in the black mines in the hills of Dakota there lives a young boy called Rocky Raccoon...
kosmoshot
You mean as opposed to the white mines?
AjEmEPoliszBojfrend
Man I love this song
codylishush
you mean Black Hills, not black mines
mallorykeaton
Black mountain hills of Dakota, actualleh
cyrasil
And one day his woman ran off with another guy
ZeroThree
♫ Hit young Rocky in the eyeeee. Rocky didn't like that, he said "I'm gonna get that boy!" ♫
So one day he walked into town and booked himself a room in the local saloon.
WellIMightWantAFreeSample
Rocky Raccoon, checked into his room, only to find Gideon's bible...
HamburgerMachineGun
Rocky had come, equipped with a gun, to shoot off the legs of his rival...
Odderpop
Check your pockets
thedaythecatdiscoveredmirrors
Don't let it in your house, they destroy everything.
Murica1776FYeah
I love these superhero origin stories.
steakfight
it's a raabiees raccoon it's a rabies raccoon it's a raabiees raccoon it's a rabies raccoon... To the tune of Weebl's Baby Baboon.
amishpornstar
You found Helen Keller's kitty..skittles!
theorigionalOG
Holy fauck Raykins, Furry little bitches.
Mookystick
femalenerdsarethebest
Dem claws!
swetz
The tags are what really made this a win for me... "rabies"
nighttimesleepaids
Go get some large glass marbles. Big enough that he can't swallow them. Little magpies, raccoons are... so cute.
meoowth
I got fucking mauled by a raccoon less than 24 hours ago. Things will never be the same.
meoowth
Yes I got rabies shots.
LaceyLouWho
There's no damn banana.
Pommo
Dont touch its poop
YouKnowWhatiMeme
Went into the room, only to find, Gideon's bible.
ifyouknewmeyouwouldbeme
A size 12 foot for scale? What is this nonsense?
stegg31
if i could have a domesticated racoon, i totally would
uwsewing
Only to find gideons bible AAAAAHHH
WhatzitTooya
They are soo cute! If they only would not become so utterly destructive when they get older...
IckyLilBickyJahJahandWill
I used to rehab baby raccoons through a vet clinic, awesome experience and the cooing is ADORABLE
PissingShitMonkeys
I had a pet raccoon before, he used to follow me around the house and just climb up onto my shoulder, he would cry if he got left alone too.
happylittlesloth
Oh my God I had a baby raccoon too! The problem with mine is that even though I had it as a baby it was still too wild to keep as a pet.
NotReallyJustKiddingIfOffendingAndNotACompliment
They are fun until they want to talk with you about your rubbish.
Azraelization
Give him guns.
homegrownhippie
OHMYGOD I WANT HIM
guruofsleep
Fixed it. OP blocked banana.
KierCalhen
To all who are saying the raccoon will become mean and have rabies: You have no idea how to take care of and domesticate an animal, do you?
trippedoutkitty
You don't domesticate a raccoon. -_- I have one.
Coonninja
I've got one, he's a sweetpea and a coward of the highest order. Of course, every personality is different. Did you get a demon? :D
CyberAkuma
You have no idea the difference between taming and domestication do you?
FastandBiCurious
I don't know anything about that stuff, but what about their natural instincts?
ShamrockFury
Raccoon don't coo, they aren't pigeons. They grumble.
iliketokeepitsimplestupid
Like Rocket?
mcstreetz
I'm pretty sure they Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Coonninja
Bubby, they grumble, they coo, they do it all.
Mashirodaisuki
As someone with a pet raccoon, yes, they do coo
CyberAkuma
What does the raccoon say?
insectman
What does the raccoon say?
trippedoutkitty
As someone who owns a raccoon... Do the responsible thing and take it to a wild life sanctuary or a wildlife rehabilitation facility.
LosPer
This needs to be higher up in the post...
trippedoutkitty
It will be sweet for the first two years and then it comes to a point where they just destroy everything. It's like having a toddler that...
trippedoutkitty
Seriously... do the right thing. Nurture does not overcome nature.
KlassikalStuff
Ugh +10000 I did rehab and release on a squirrel. Man the first couple months is great but then nature kicks in. :c
trippedoutkitty
I did wildlife rehabilitation myself and forfeited my licensing to do so when I no longer had the proper facilities.
trippedoutkitty
Not to mention the hoops I had to jump through to obtain proper permits to legally own mine. Good luck with that
trippedoutkitty
I love my raccoon and her very rare sweet moments but I wish I would have given her up because now she cannot be turned loose.
trippedoutkitty
Has wicked teeth, claws and can climb sheer walls. This is NOT a pet. Don't get me wrong...
sphincterstretcher
why haven't you given yours up to a wildlife rehab?
Coonninja
Mine had juvenile cataracts and is vision impaired. So that's why he didn't go to rehab.
Coonninja
There are hundreds who are unsuitable for release each year. They are also sold by breeders as 'pets'.
trippedoutkitty
Well, because I know it would be much harder on her. She would be kept in a cage for the rest of her life or euthanized at this point 1\2
trippedoutkitty
My home is her "territory" and I don't want to put that stress on her. I've accepted what I've created. I deal with the consequences
chemistrydoc
They are cute but when they are adults they can rip your damn face off. Dem claws are legit.
reineseele
Defacing the Enemies of the Universe.
meoowth
Welcome to my life 20 hours ago. Well, my fingers. Such pain. Thanks for saving my life Louis Pasteur.
thatgirlnoonetalksto
you could get the little claw covers on them and then they'd just be fabulous.
Coonninja
I have those soft paws things? I did ask our coon to try them out, very nicely. He said no. :/
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
We had one in the house for 2 days before releasing it. That fucker got into everything and ate/chewed anything he could.
craz3d
I've had 2 black labs since puppy time. Coons are barely worse, but worse. Grew up in area with Coons. Crazy.
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
Backstory: someone had kept it as a pet, which is illegal. It was young enough to be released into the wild but had to find a good (1)
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
(2) Spot to release him, so we agreed to keep him for a few days til a good area could be found. Messy creatures....
emirii614
As long as you have the gland that makes them violent as adults removed they are fine to keep.
trippedoutkitty
There is no gland like that... you're an idiot.
MomijiInada
I think he is talking about its nuts.
kazzy08
Can confirm. One tried to eat my face. She was captive born and raised...
Coonninja
What did you do to provoke that reaction?
kazzy08
Nothing really. She was reaching breeding age so her hormones were going crazy. I shouldn't have held her at that time.
TheIceman2288
Somewhere in the black mines in the hills of Dakota there lives a young boy called Rocky Raccoon...
kosmoshot
You mean as opposed to the white mines?
AjEmEPoliszBojfrend
Man I love this song
codylishush
you mean Black Hills, not black mines
mallorykeaton
Black mountain hills of Dakota, actualleh
cyrasil
And one day his woman ran off with another guy
ZeroThree
♫ Hit young Rocky in the eyeeee. Rocky didn't like that, he said "I'm gonna get that boy!" ♫
TheIceman2288
So one day he walked into town and booked himself a room in the local saloon.
WellIMightWantAFreeSample
Rocky Raccoon, checked into his room, only to find Gideon's bible...
HamburgerMachineGun
Rocky had come, equipped with a gun, to shoot off the legs of his rival...