I live in an area with a lot of geese, and they've turned pretty gangster, they're allowed to go wherever without fear. walking back to my car from a college class and one rolls up on me intersects my walking path moving from the grass which is goose territory to the concrete walkway which is people spot. They start to puff up and bro down. I'm not about to get punked by a goose. I keep walking he goes in, I pivot and give him an uppercut with a discrete mathbook like I'm thor wielding mjollnir
What’s her name? Jackie something. Her husband is a game designer, and she has a great bit about him calling her from a strip club asking her to explain it to him. “I don’t understand this game.” She’s worth checking out if anyone remembers her last name.
Missing the part where a boy tries to start a fight n pulls/tears her sweater. The one only sweater she shares w her sister. Next thing he knows he’s on the ground n she’s crushing him n screaming about nobody touches the sweater.
She has such a pleasant flow. She could take a mediocre bit and turn it into gold just by performing it at that wonderful cadence of hers. But she doesn't need to do that, because her material's bloody brilliant as well!
I loved reading as a kid too. Would do that now too if I more time and didn't have all this responsibility. My parents used to bribe me with books into doing things as no one was allowed to hit me either. Books are sweet bliss to avoid this horrible world.
Got time in the afternoons where you're watching TV or doing something else that's "downtime" but doesn't actually make you happy? Switch that over to a book, or use the time to cram everything in earlier and spend the last hour of the night reading. Also, an e-reader is a great investment. I can slide my Kindle in a pocket and read anywhere I've got downtime.
If you have mindless time at work where the body is necessary but the focus isn't, i highly recommend audio books. I also don't have as much time to read as I'd like, this scratches the itch. The Bobiverserse series is especially good.
+1 for Bobiverse. There are better epic Sci-Fi books out there(I'm partial to The Final Architecture series) but very few that are that much fun. Andy Weir hits that same category for me.
Creepy reading boy here... Hmmm that hits different. But any who. Every break/lunch was in the library reading. Then I wondered why I didn't have friends.... Oh to go back in time
My big sister was one of those kids. She got amazing grades, a full academic scholarship, got out of our little town and never looked back. She grew up to be a bio-chemist and works in a hospital in a rural area so she can own a freaking ranch! Hang in there spooky/creepy reading girls, living well is the best revenge!
UncleMartha
Jackie Kashian is a national treasure.
TheCornBanana
MUFTHER NUCKING READING RAINBOW!
kohrah
Is she wearing an upvote?
RElGNMAN
oldguyexlurker
The book title, "How to keep from accidentally killing someone with a book." Probably didn't hurt.
DragonGanger
I live in an area with a lot of geese, and they've turned pretty gangster, they're allowed to go wherever without fear. walking back to my car from a college class and one rolls up on me intersects my walking path moving from the grass which is goose territory to the concrete walkway which is people spot. They start to puff up and bro down. I'm not about to get punked by a goose. I keep walking he goes in, I pivot and give him an uppercut with a discrete mathbook like I'm thor wielding mjollnir
cre8majic
a bonk to the honk
jimmythehat1
Love Jackie Kashian. I have all of her albums. I think some of them are signed too. I forget which.
joeyecho101
My big sister was a spooky reading girl and is now a VP at a fortune 500.
Cucumberclouds
Good for her but bad for us
joeyecho101
She reminded me it's actually a fortune 100
plainoldfool
Does anyone have a link to the whole set? She and her story sounds fascinating
hordesofgourds
I fucking love Jackie Kashian! She is wonderful and hilarious!
Sunshine12345
This is so familiar.
FullBrindleJacket
What’s her name? Jackie something. Her husband is a game designer, and she has a great bit about him calling her from a strip club asking her to explain it to him. “I don’t understand this game.” She’s worth checking out if anyone remembers her last name.
FullBrindleJacket
JACKIE KASHIAN!
Coldsinger
Most of the books is were reading were 500-800 pages in hardcover..... only used it once, and never bothered again.
IupvoteAussies
I never considered that option. I might have saved me a lot of fights lol
FunkeymonkeyTTR
always love when a perfectly good video is shrunk to 1/15th of the original size
ILikeRespondingWithWillSmithGifs
Some read to learn, some read to escape. I read because it was the best weapon to prevent and execute violence.
Wasnbo
I now realize that I've used the "quiet kid" stereotype to my advantage more than once. Whenever someone was about to start something (1/2)
Wasnbo
with me, I'd smile and say "Well go on then. I'm sure it'll work out real good for you." NOBODY called my bluff!
measuredby5
Reading, "First 5 Ways To Drop Your Opponent".
youbetchamom
Burn outs! Oh, the memories. Haven't heard that in a long long time .
cre8majic
how many school cliques can YOU name in 30 seconds?? Burn outs, jocks, nerds, rah-rahs, ....?
ohshitIcantfindmyball
good ol' jackie kashian i saw her live once. she's funny
Mythmatic
You never know what spells she's got ready, smart move on everyone
HeadJamistan
Pizza1sLyfe
Hard to be the spooky reading girl when you're reading anime and laughing maniacally. Wait...was I the spooky reading girl?
JiffyGee
If you have to ask if you were the spooky reading girl, then you probably were the spooky reading girl.
theartofmath
I'm a guy but I'm pretty sure I was still spooky reading girl
StellarJay77
There's always at least one at every school and if you can not identify who it is then it's you.
Merky600
Missing the part where a boy tries to start a fight n pulls/tears her sweater. The one only sweater she shares w her sister. Next thing he knows he’s on the ground n she’s crushing him n screaming about nobody touches the sweater.
thebonesofmyancestors
I don't know why, but I really like this story.
Tomigami
"You're killing him!" That's right, and I'm gonna kill him unless everyone leaves me alone forever!
superflyeveryday
The use of War and Peace at its finest.
bitemark
Tell them you only read the first half
DunnowForgot
Only War, no Peace.
Ialwayslookhungover
Jackie Kashian is a delight
Cataleast
She has such a pleasant flow. She could take a mediocre bit and turn it into gold just by performing it at that wonderful cadence of hers. But she doesn't need to do that, because her material's bloody brilliant as well!
nomatterwhathappensimstilllost
I loved reading as a kid too. Would do that now too if I more time and didn't have all this responsibility. My parents used to bribe me with books into doing things as no one was allowed to hit me either. Books are sweet bliss to avoid this horrible world.
thehappyrunner
Got time in the afternoons where you're watching TV or doing something else that's "downtime" but doesn't actually make you happy? Switch that over to a book, or use the time to cram everything in earlier and spend the last hour of the night reading. Also, an e-reader is a great investment. I can slide my Kindle in a pocket and read anywhere I've got downtime.
mamapants
If you have mindless time at work where the body is necessary but the focus isn't, i highly recommend audio books. I also don't have as much time to read as I'd like, this scratches the itch. The Bobiverserse series is especially good.
thehappyrunner
+1 for Bobiverse. There are better epic Sci-Fi books out there(I'm partial to The Final Architecture series) but very few that are that much fun. Andy Weir hits that same category for me.
DontBringAShootyToAStabbyFight
The comic is Jackie Kashian, she does great work, go see her: https://jackiekashian.com/tour-dates
vegivamp
*comedian. A comic is a picture book 🙂
Germanic mother tongue, perchance?
DontBringAShootyToAStabbyFight
Comedians call themselves comics all the time, don't be condescending.
vegivamp
Hm. Never heard that in English. I certainly didn't mean to be condescending.
Totallyscrewedinaustin
I too, was the creepy reading girl at my middle school....yay for the creepy reading girls!
donkeymoney
I looked up one on Facebook...she is so fucking hot right now, and a teacher.
Slickdoodle
Yay!
Thesaya
Me too! I mean, I didn't stop fights, I was bullied like hell, but I too was always reading.
vigojones
Creepy reading boy here... Hmmm that hits different. But any who. Every break/lunch was in the library reading. Then I wondered why I didn't have friends.... Oh to go back in time
pjm82
My big sister was one of those kids. She got amazing grades, a full academic scholarship, got out of our little town and never looked back. She grew up to be a bio-chemist and works in a hospital in a rural area so she can own a freaking ranch! Hang in there spooky/creepy reading girls, living well is the best revenge!
spinbutton3
Or creepy doodling girls 😉
MsMolly
I still am...
DeadeicPrints
I dunno if anyone found me creepy, but I used to read as I walked to school. How I didn't die, I don't know.
DanSapSan
There was a time i would read while riding a bike, going down a slope. Fun times.
euphoriamint
I'd read as I walked between classes. I just hugged the wall so I wouldn't walk into anyone.
legenunfiltered
Did you tuck your book in your pants like a gun to carry your lunch tray?
r3dl8dy
I just got a purse big enough to hold a large paperback.
legenunfiltered
I was never a purse person. Could never keep up with them. And in middle school they weren't allowed anyways.
ByronGetronfree
A hardback spine to the throat will drop a mf, no lies.
customcartoons
READING IS FUNDAMENTAL, BIIIIITCH
SleepyHollowAppleTree
Trelfar
Immediately thought of this, glad I wasn't the only one!
DGeneration92
Jesus christ it's Jason Bourne
DaveSamsonite
She is an awesome comedienne. I love her work. She’s also a huge meddler.
sf111
BoobJiggle
Can kill someone that way if you're not careful
DaveSamsonite
She is an awesome comedienne. I love her work. She’s also a huge meddler.
mikeatike
But will a hardback throat to the spine drop a mf?
secretlyacd
Will a hardback mf to the spine drop a throat?
ComoSeIguana
Or the face... kinda
SirRichardOfHead
MelodyLightfoot
thePyromanic
JoJo vibes
MelodyLightfoot
This is from Battle Royale the guy with the book is one of the major antagonists
thePyromanic
I've only read the book and watched the film
MelodyLightfoot
In the movie he's Uzi dude.