Rverence
74867
1660
148
Posted this as I just read a FP post about working nights and felt 0.000000001 seconds of guilt
Nov 19, 2016 4:15 PM
Rverence
74867
1660
148
Posted this as I just read a FP post about working nights and felt 0.000000001 seconds of guilt
WIllieWonkerz
Have a book on Satanism at the door, say you'll read theirs if they read yours. If anyone is en route southbound it's them
thatsmyidentifier
had package deliveries and scam calls at 8-9am while working nights. I feel ya
TheMouseOfMadness
I just say "I'm an atheist and (mostly) a lesbian. You're wasting time for both of us" and they don't come back.
SilverHarvest
I do the same to the fucking Mormons. Can we talk to you about Jesus? I don't want to join a cult. Can I talk to you about Satan?
Grannybasher3000
I just tell them that "I don't want to join another cult!" They either want to tell me it's not a cult or ask me "Another cult?"
charliegrs
As a fellow graveyard shift worker I feel your pain. I hate when idiots knock on my door and wake me up.
IamTheBatNaz
I used to get them knocking all the time. Spent an hour trying convert them to Islam. I'm not even Muslim
BenjaminBinary
Those people suck. I'll come to you if I want to know about religion, until then stay away from my door
Firefenix203
I have done this naked, they never came back.
InappropriateReaction
This happened to me when I was trying to shit. They were banging my letter box flap and everything, I thought there was an emergency. Pricks
bender211
Asked the cute one if she wanted to watch me do the ugly one. They never came back. Plot twist, I'm Mormon!
naughtyandnice1
Happens to me regularly. A no knocking/no soliciting sign should help, and some locations allow you to report ppl who ignore but yeah, sorry
Rverence
I don't mind knocking as I drift back to sleep in a few minutes but it was the sustained knocking ,once in the 26yrs of house living
HurtYou
I'm a fat bearded man. I open the door in a wife beater with mustard stains and a holstered 1911. They don't stay long...
LavaAxe
You won't go to hell, Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in it. They think you'll merely get a meteor to the head come Armageddon.
Rverence
*turns to camera & looks at pic of Trump* double feck I'm fucked
Rverence
I'm not proud of this but I don't feel much guilt on it . I don't bear them/any cold caller ill will ,I just don't want continuous knocking
LadyBumps
I once had two turn up n ask for an ex by name.
Oombaka
All if they think they're part of the 48 thousand that will go to heaven?
thepunnypenguin
I invited them to church one weekend. They didn't want to go. It's almost like people don't want to talk to strangers about religion...
allyourschmecklesbelongtome
been there. its amazing how inconsiderate people can be.
CandyMinion
Next time ask them inside and try to creepily seduce them both.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
We'd send our flatmate (a leering untidy man of questionable morals) to the door. He'd look them up and down and give an unsettling smile.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
This was normally enough for them to scarper. Especially so if there was a young girl with them.
Cerebralbore101
Atheist here. I invite them, in politely explain to them why I don't believe in their religion. They stay for hours, and while they stick...
Cerebralbore101
to their faith, they leave realizing that they have a lot to learn.
PlagueRoot
How did you know they were JW's and not another religion?
Rverence
They also saw my neighbour , when I mentioned it to him (missing out the swearing)
Hawaii5Hoe
They once knocked on my door well we where having a smoke sesh we thought it was our friend so we opened the door once they saw what (1/2)
Hawaii5Hoe
Was going on they just gave us a pamphlet and left. Also our friend was in his car waiting for them to leave.(2/2)
Davidnfilms
one time i told them i had a masters degree in theology... they left too quickly.
Rverence
*takes note*
wadatahmydamie
For the next time this doesn't happen?
Rverence
If you think so , I've worked in Engineering for 35yrs , I swear constantly in work but not at home , I let my guard down for 2s
BlankhasdiedofDysentery
We have a locked gate so they can't get near the house. They leave their little pamphlets at them all the time so we know how many fail.
vincentlaguardiagambini
lmao
TheodoreWitchfucker
Do you live in a manor or something? 0_o
MonkeyHittingPianoDramatically
Jail
missbelled
I live in a shitty apartment and I have a locked gate. I don't think it would stop a burglar but it sure stops package carriers...
TheodoreWitchfucker
My shitty apartment has a locked main door. I mean, you can break the glass to burgle through, but it's a hell of a noise.
BlankhasdiedofDysentery
We trust the main package carriers with gate codes.
red1300
Going to hell? Not for this.
Rverence
Just covering my bases as to who's right :)
shadowofacrow
Naw. JW's dont belive in hell. youre just dead with no afterlife.
Heartomaton
College roommate let some into our apartment-turned-dorm one day. I decided turning up the volume on my porn was the best course of action.
Awesummzz
You did good, kid
Heartomaton
Eh, if I recall correctly, it only made them slightly uncomfortable. Then again, that was a decade ago, and memories are fuzzy.
Awesummzz
Yeah, but I bet you couldn't hear them
thevortexmaster
Last time they knocked on my door I talked about quantum physics and the band Tool for a half hour. Wouldn't let them walk away
ilovecake
"All you know about me is what I sold ya..."
AnUnknownErrorOccurred
You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day, and to them, it- is- the- holocaust.
thevortexmaster
Life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life.....
YoureAllFarTooHilarious
Watched my dad strip to his underwear, mess his hair, encourage the rotweiler we had to bark, and invite them in for beers 8 am on a Sunday.
CrotchRash
Is your dad single?
CrotchRash
Is your dad single?
YoureAllFarTooHilarious
There is only one of him!... also yes.
CrotchRash
You have officially earned your honorary dad status.
FerAloDanRic
You're my kind of guy, did you give them a detailed introduction to Danny Carey's rig and equipment or go through their discography?
thevortexmaster
Hahaha no, mostly quoted their lyrics plus some of bill hicks
KrazyPlonk
Ex jw here. Next time if you tell them you want to be put on the 'do not call list' they'll leave you alone forever
MisterLemons
They'll be back in case he changes his mind.
VelociRachelwastakenandthatmademesad
I asked to have a conversation about evolution. They dropped off a pamphlet and never came back.
Arkonitez
Tell them you've been disfellowshipped. They're not allowed to talk to you.
limewtf
My great grandmother was one and when they'd come by we'd just say she was our grandma and they'd leave us alone for a few years.
NoDiceDoomguy
I've gotten rid of them just my saying that we were nudists.
Vedar
Maybe they should just have a 'call' list.
AnimeUpVotes
Indeed that's true.
ElinborgTheViking
My mum has a decal on her door to deter JWs and any other pushers of religion. It's worked getting on 6 years now
InfernoTerra
What decal?
EdgeGod
Pentagram
ElinborgTheViking
Google "anti Jehovah's Witness sign" it's one of the first images. A smiling man and woman carrying a bible with a red 'no' circle over them
TrustMeImABassist
The "fuck off cunts" wasn't clear enough?
NZSheeps
"Fuck off cunts" "Congratulations, you have successfully subscribed to Watchtower"
Aksuuuh
CANCEL SUBSCRIPTION
GilgameshWulfenbach
Thank you for confirming your subscription to the Watchtower! You've earned a free colored button up shirt. Text the color you want now
moose7094
Purple
melveys
That did not work for a determined Jw I met. She came by weekly for 3 years trying to save the souls of my 4 children.
MisterLemons
Saving their souls? That doesn't sound like a JW. She should be speaking to you as you are the deciding factor in their lives.
melveys
She was speaking to me about the children. She said that the world was ending soon and I owed it to them to save them.
VultureTX
Well she likely knocks in the same spot every time, so that where I'd put the poison.... just saying.
PirateRubberDuck
Harassment is a serious crime with a large fine here. I hope she stopped.
melveys
Yes, I haven't seen her in about a year. She used to bring a new recruit with her every week. I can't even remember her name.
melveys
Yes, I haven't seen her in about a year. She used to bring a new recruit with her every week. I can't even remember her name.
clutchthepearls
Cunt.