Sep 10, 2020 10:32 AM
JuliaStaple
118099
2287
68
PrincessAdora
Master Ken taught me to always re-stomp that groin
NeverForgetMrHands
oldandfat
Great, how do I find out how to defend myself form someone wielding a fish slice now?
turbonizer
This is never not funny!
Toiletseatpolio
v
tonguepunchyourfartbox
Rex kwan do
NefariousGoop
Reminds me of that fruit self defense sketch by the Pythons
Esch2
Well that could certainly be classified as a "pointed stick."
MlemminBlepper
Ah the true technique, monologue at your attacker about the move you're making and hope they go all slo-mo and play along
Ispentfartoolongtryingtocomeupwithausernamebeforejoining
Ladies and Gentlemen, the CEO of the Moe, Larry & Curly School of Self Defense.
ZippidyDoo
NONONOOO!!!
5uperu5er
Don't forget to restomp the groin!
toomanymemesandnotenoughmemeory
He’s self taught from watching many movies, but not really even paying much attention then ?
SyeedAli
I disagree.. the guy with the spatula looks really competent!
4goodsuccess365
https://youtu.be/Flm37h2orWc
I watch this through osmosis. That’s why I’m so good at black belt.
Cinsay
Will always upvote this!!
lifeisadadjoke
He's either trained at Dustin's Dojo or at Roger Baker's Tae Kwon Do and Pizza in Pensacola, Florida. Always been watching for attackers!
goflyblind
what if they come at you with passionfruit?
WalksWithNoFear
If anyone is interested in learning actual self defence then start by Googling and read/watch anything by Rory Miller and Marc MacYoung.
Captainplanetmotherfucker
I always wonder just how effective Marital Arts training would be in an event such as this.
ReverseTrapTsukasa
But the best technique...
everydayvirgo
Musubi626
Nah.. Im cool
UnsightlyBaconBits
Real life Mac
ChrisDoesScience
This is what happens when someone takes one martial arts class, then tries showing off.
krustyshackleferd
I laughed like a braying donkey at the slaps.
IamNotFunnyNeitherIsMyUserName
IclaimRandomJobs
Barbarian fu!
Wat the hell
EricPisch
That last punch lmao
emjay9010
RabbiKirschbaum
Rex-kwon-do?
Bojovnik84
What did the 5 fingers say to the face? SLAP.
ItsNotAboutTheUpvotesItsAboutTheComments
I'm actually crying right now LMFAO
anthisrobert
blueishskies
Made my morning full of giggles! Thank you
AverySillyName
Step 1: get wrist control Step 2: pull out your gun v It is very very important you pull out your gun.
JONN0S
Troy?
lestasi
Can we have the source imgur Gods?
FruitIsNotDessert
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVQkF9x5hCQ
Folio77
Is this satire, cos its hilarious
zenoghost1
Is that Meatloaf?
SilentZed
Nay, Sir. 'Tis Robert Paulson.
fiddlewheelx
Best self defense technique; "Flight of the Rabbit". Aka, run away. If they call you a coward then that just means they are mad ->\
jherazob
This technique has a long tradition, mostly used by the Saotome and Joestar families
\-> at you for running away and not letting them pummel you.
WoodfolkFae
another good one is when they try to kick you grab their foot and THEN run.
justplainvanilla
Freaking classic!
Snu Snu! Me next!
Imustupvotealltacos
That angled view has to be what I miss most from my ex
dudeinsha
Police Academy is great! Incidentally, it explains much of the policing quality in our country.
Moodoo245
Imho it aged badly with most homophobe jokes, like the commander encouraging making out with girls instead of boys and the plain line
Not really, i'd take a whole country of cops like them rather than what the U.S.of A has now, they wouldn't shoot innocents (on purpose)
Myothercarisadelorean
I must have watched this scene so many times it left a burn mark on the VCR tape
DoYouLikePinaColada
And screen burn-in
sneakypoo
For me it was the pool scene.
GeneralWho
reineseele
What is the martial arts style called again that targets the human weak points only?
whatgandalfwhere
It’s called “thanksgiving dinner with relatives” - style.
Ynigmatyk
When you're entire existence is a weak point
Oracle547
Maybe if you finally brought a nice girl home we wouldn't have to listen to aunt nancy go on and on about Steven's engagement to that doctor
This shit gets people killed.
atheistzombie
Cite examples, please.
A stabbing motion is faster than an arc, and a defensive knife withdrawl can also cut. Even an amateur with a knife is deadly.
Somerandomoldguy
Well. The guy in the video got fake stabbed a bunch, we'll start there.
ASmallMediumAtLarge
If you're dumb enough to follow this guys tips, you probably deserve to get stabbed
Dreadric
agonarch
No see that's the problem - follow anyones tips and you'll get killed. With years of training, you have a chance, but probably still dead.
ImpactFPS
But but but I was 21 feet away
SarcasticComment
Not when you're a sensei. Bow to your sensei! v
definitelynotawolf
How to improve the odds: https://www.ringmesh.com/ChainMail-Shirts-s/37.htm
foreverinchains
I used to work for a company that made those shirts, and while they will might prevent a cut they will absolutely not stop a stab.
Are you sure? Welded ones are pretty good IMO, normal (safety gear) ones are butted, not meant for stabs though (aluminium sometimes too).
tomroadrunner87
Cardio is the best martial art for survival. Healthy heart and you're good at running away!
WhistlinDickC
Rule #1
Or Commandment #29 if you prefer
HeWhoHathKilledKenny
Like parkour the french martial art of running away
crazyspelling
Well, that's still better than surrendering.
GlutenfreeBootsInPuss
This. Anyone who actually ever practiced any fighting sport knows that if you see a knife, you run unless there is literally no other option
I had an ICU nurse tell me of knife fights that nearly no one wins one "one person dies in the street and the other in hospital hours later"
Exactly
ProphetOfTheOldOnes
Don't put me back in the kitchen God please help me!!!
PrincessAdora
Master Ken taught me to always re-stomp that groin
NeverForgetMrHands
oldandfat
Great, how do I find out how to defend myself form someone wielding a fish slice now?
turbonizer
This is never not funny!
Toiletseatpolio
tonguepunchyourfartbox
Rex kwan do
NefariousGoop
Reminds me of that fruit self defense sketch by the Pythons
Esch2
Well that could certainly be classified as a "pointed stick."
MlemminBlepper
Ah the true technique, monologue at your attacker about the move you're making and hope they go all slo-mo and play along
Ispentfartoolongtryingtocomeupwithausernamebeforejoining
Ladies and Gentlemen, the CEO of the Moe, Larry & Curly School of Self Defense.
ZippidyDoo
NONONOOO!!!
5uperu5er
Don't forget to restomp the groin!
toomanymemesandnotenoughmemeory
He’s self taught from watching many movies, but not really even paying much attention then ?
SyeedAli
I disagree.. the guy with the spatula looks really competent!
4goodsuccess365
https://youtu.be/Flm37h2orWc
toomanymemesandnotenoughmemeory
I watch this through osmosis. That’s why I’m so good at black belt.
Cinsay
Will always upvote this!!
lifeisadadjoke
He's either trained at Dustin's Dojo or at Roger Baker's Tae Kwon Do and Pizza in Pensacola, Florida. Always been watching for attackers!
goflyblind
what if they come at you with passionfruit?
WalksWithNoFear
If anyone is interested in learning actual self defence then start by Googling and read/watch anything by Rory Miller and Marc MacYoung.
Captainplanetmotherfucker
I always wonder just how effective Marital Arts training would be in an event such as this.
ReverseTrapTsukasa
But the best technique...
everydayvirgo
Musubi626
4goodsuccess365
Nah.. Im cool
UnsightlyBaconBits
Real life Mac
ChrisDoesScience
This is what happens when someone takes one martial arts class, then tries showing off.
krustyshackleferd
I laughed like a braying donkey at the slaps.
IamNotFunnyNeitherIsMyUserName
IclaimRandomJobs
Barbarian fu!
4goodsuccess365
Wat the hell
EricPisch
That last punch lmao
emjay9010
Musubi626
RabbiKirschbaum
toomanymemesandnotenoughmemeory
Rex-kwon-do?
IamNotFunnyNeitherIsMyUserName
Bojovnik84
What did the 5 fingers say to the face? SLAP.
ItsNotAboutTheUpvotesItsAboutTheComments
I'm actually crying right now LMFAO
anthisrobert
blueishskies
Made my morning full of giggles! Thank you
AverySillyName
Step 1: get wrist control Step 2: pull out your gun
v It is very very important you pull out your gun.
JONN0S
Troy?
lestasi
Can we have the source imgur Gods?
FruitIsNotDessert
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVQkF9x5hCQ
Folio77
Is this satire, cos its hilarious
zenoghost1
Is that Meatloaf?
SilentZed
Nay, Sir. 'Tis Robert Paulson.
fiddlewheelx
Best self defense technique; "Flight of the Rabbit". Aka, run away. If they call you a coward then that just means they are mad ->\
jherazob
This technique has a long tradition, mostly used by the Saotome and Joestar families
fiddlewheelx
\-> at you for running away and not letting them pummel you.
WoodfolkFae
another good one is when they try to kick you grab their foot and THEN run.
justplainvanilla
jherazob
Freaking classic!
toomanymemesandnotenoughmemeory
Snu Snu! Me next!
Imustupvotealltacos
That angled view has to be what I miss most from my ex
dudeinsha
Police Academy is great! Incidentally, it explains much of the policing quality in our country.
Moodoo245
Imho it aged badly with most homophobe jokes, like the commander encouraging making out with girls instead of boys and the plain line
jherazob
Not really, i'd take a whole country of cops like them rather than what the U.S.of A has now, they wouldn't shoot innocents (on purpose)
Myothercarisadelorean
I must have watched this scene so many times it left a burn mark on the VCR tape
DoYouLikePinaColada
And screen burn-in
sneakypoo
For me it was the pool scene.
GeneralWho
reineseele
What is the martial arts style called again that targets the human weak points only?
whatgandalfwhere
It’s called “thanksgiving dinner with relatives” - style.
Ynigmatyk
When you're entire existence is a weak point
Oracle547
Maybe if you finally brought a nice girl home we wouldn't have to listen to aunt nancy go on and on about Steven's engagement to that doctor
SyeedAli
This shit gets people killed.
atheistzombie
Cite examples, please.
SyeedAli
A stabbing motion is faster than an arc, and a defensive knife withdrawl can also cut. Even an amateur with a knife is deadly.
Somerandomoldguy
Well. The guy in the video got fake stabbed a bunch, we'll start there.
ASmallMediumAtLarge
If you're dumb enough to follow this guys tips, you probably deserve to get stabbed
Dreadric
agonarch
No see that's the problem - follow anyones tips and you'll get killed. With years of training, you have a chance, but probably still dead.
ImpactFPS
But but but I was 21 feet away
SarcasticComment
Not when you're a sensei. Bow to your sensei!
v
definitelynotawolf
How to improve the odds: https://www.ringmesh.com/ChainMail-Shirts-s/37.htm
foreverinchains
I used to work for a company that made those shirts, and while they will might prevent a cut they will absolutely not stop a stab.
agonarch
Are you sure? Welded ones are pretty good IMO, normal (safety gear) ones are butted, not meant for stabs though (aluminium sometimes too).
tomroadrunner87
Cardio is the best martial art for survival. Healthy heart and you're good at running away!
WhistlinDickC
Rule #1
WhistlinDickC
Or Commandment #29 if you prefer
HeWhoHathKilledKenny
Like parkour the french martial art of running away
crazyspelling
Well, that's still better than surrendering.
GlutenfreeBootsInPuss
This. Anyone who actually ever practiced any fighting sport knows that if you see a knife, you run unless there is literally no other option
agonarch
I had an ICU nurse tell me of knife fights that nearly no one wins one "one person dies in the street and the other in hospital hours later"
GlutenfreeBootsInPuss
Exactly
ProphetOfTheOldOnes
Don't put me back in the kitchen God please help me!!!
GlutenfreeBootsInPuss