Oct 19, 2017 11:23 AM
manngg
265008
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Spaid47Trey57
Yes, WITH YOU. That's how she was able to carry less.
Pnkfaerie
I'm the one with the camelbak backpack full of water and snacks on the hike and a first aid kit BECAUSE my kids are with me. We go for 2 hrs
DukePhelan
Have proper equipment and means of hydration in any scenario. You hike a trail, you bring water at a minimum. What is this, prep shaming?
UserHardlyKnowHer
I’ll wear a pack on a 4 mike hike just incase. Trekking poles are a bit much but testing your gear is always a good move.
Gudmuan13
Kudos to the guy for getting out there at all
DeserTimmy
Thanks! I haven't hiked a lot of trails - I don't hike almost every weekend. I'm training up to not hike mt. Denali this summer.
AllGreatMenHaveBeards
I'm pretty sure hee wasn't talking about you specifically lol. But good on ya m8
repsac
Maybe your son doesn't have knee injuries and therefore has no need for trekking poles (hiking sticks).
MrAwesomesauce101
I fucked up my knees a few times going up steep mountains. Poles are very helpful to prevent this.
mormacil
Fucking this. It's the only way I can descend at a human speed and not fuck up my knees for a week. Been like that since my teens.
hindsightforpres2020
Yeah, went on a 6 miler last weekend, was glad i had them though, i hike with my camelback and all every time, but im also out of shape
and messed up my knees 15 years ago in HS football
TemporaryUzername
Maybe he's doing back to back trail runs, ya stupid boot.
TCGView
Maybe they have health issues that a kid may not have to worry about.
Afamouspersonmaybe
K, well, you know nothing about that other guy, other than what he has on. What kind of douche god are you to judge him?
prufock
Remember kids, if you do nothing, and train not at all, you too can develop an inflated sense of self-worth!
kimsahobbit
Maybe he walked to the trail, where as you drove there. Not to mention, a naked Barbie is much lighter than a fully clothed Barbie.
RustyNeX
kids have way more energy than adults
Armithel
While that may be true, their overall stamina is not even relevant.
when i was a kid my parents took me up an 803m mountain, i RAN the whole way to the top and waited for them. didn't even break a sweat
BreadyStinellis
And way higher muscle to weight ratio. It's not that hard to move 40lbs.
danielsan1977
Iammoney45
When I was preping for a 2 week backpacking trip I would walk around the local parks in full kit to get used to how it all fit.
I prepped for a 3 week one I would go up a mountain several times with 70 pounds and def got some looks.
Philmont?
eagle193
found the Boy Scout! represent
BSA!
Yeap, was in 2016, 721L, itinerary 22
In 2013 I had your itinerary initially, but was rerouted due to wildfires.
I was a Ranger this past summer. In 2016 I was Rayado 620-RM-8, in 2013 I was 614-B-02 Itinerary 17.
I almost did Rayado this year, but I wasn't able to due to scedual conflicts.
Do it. It is the hardest and most rewarding program the BSA has offer by far.
Kryalis
This is stupid, they are likely going for a longer distance at a quicker pace and don’t have their daddy carrying their gear.
SushiJaguar
Staying hydrated can't be taken seriously enough.
KeeleonOhms
And your 5 year old is the dead kid we read about in the papers when you fall and break your leg.
mineovermatter
This. So much this. I'm one of the "over-prepared"...never had an unsolvable problem on trail though
aluriilol
Wow I hate people who hydrate. And vests? Ew.
MadmanApex
iknowright, vests?? is this some kind of 90s boy band tour??
Mercenarity
Yes, and carrying a hiking stick to a hike? The nerve.
myweaknessisstrong
Your 5 y/o knees don't click when they walk around, and I refuse to hold a bottle of water in my hand.
LoodGookin
This is exactly why I have a pack, so that I don't have to hold that dam water bottle.
randompotayhtoah
just cuz you saw him doing a similar thing doesn't mean he is doing the same thing as you
tuxedofish
Bff
ThereIsNoCurseInElvishEntishOrTheTonguesOfMenForThisTreachery
Something that lazy people do to make themselves feel better is making fun of people doing something more constructive or better than them.
IDidntDoIt
Yeah that half mile trail you were on is probably connected to miles more. He could've been out there for day
UrKungFuNoGood
was looking for this comment
freezingpilot
My cousins had to get airlifted/rescued one time. On a simple day hike. If you are going into the woods, you go prepared.
So yeah, I'm that guy with bear bells/spray, 3 days of water, fire kit, med kit, rations, axe, etc. I may look goofy, but I'm prepared.
inkgrrl
Bear bells? Like, a typo of bear balls, or like cowbells? I am intrigued please send more information.
Most bear attacks happen because they are startled. You wear a little bell on your pack, the bears know you are coming, and avoid you.
The usefullness of them is up for debate, of course, but why take a chance? I'd rather have the bells alert the bear, then use the spray.
Yeah shame on someone for having a hydration pack. Water is overrated.
Syralight
Yeah, how dare he try to go outdoors? Make fun him just like those fat people at the gym....
whosagoodboy92
was this the guy you saw?
userfriendly19777
I remember Gaustatoppen. Happy Norwegian fjell-monkees with ordinary clothes, children, elderly and even some overweights. No big deal
speakerjunk
I've got one messed up knee from fighting competitively and the sticks help take the downward pressure off of it.
Iamaperson1166
My parents got knee problems and just starting hiking again because they got some sticks. :)
thedeathstarwasaninsidejob1
Or you know...maybe let people do their thing and be less judgmental?
oxadelore
For real lmao. The guys out there and that’s what’s important
DemoB0y
NO! Fuck you, and fuck Crocks.
scoopette1993
I think it's supposed to be a joke
allhayl
I hope so.
rookiefdb
yeah the amount of people that get lost and need extra provisions is crazy. better to have something you don't need than etc..
zellar2020
I’m with you ello, people spend too much time worrying about others than themselves.
Keru
I'm more judgemental of assholes who trek into the wilderness without gear than those who over-gear. Never underestimate nature.
TheGhostofLouReed
What are you, Mr. Rogers?
LittleKnownOne
Don't take his name in vain or you'll find yourself at the base of a mountain of bodies as he stands victorious in a blood stained sweater.
Bitch, I might be!
Well, let's test that: how many cardigans do you own?
Cucumberclouds
May we all aspire to be as good as Fred Rogers.
Kangadilla
I'm gonna be honest, that guy always creeped me out when i was younger, and I had to have my mom convince me he wasn't a pedo or anything.
Learning more, he is most definitely not, but for ME, he was not a good role model at all. I thought he was a middle aged creep.
twofishtails
Yeah, that voice alone! Perfect role model for Imgur weenies, though.
PuppyDontCare
Oh shut, up it's funny! We make fun of them in south america too. Them and asians with their selfies.
Kavrae
Everyone is judgmental to some degree. I'll just give him points for venting here instead of calling the guy out personally.
skorpz
Talking behind someone’s back and bitching about them rather than expressing your problem like a man? Shows what a pussy ass bitch you are.
What's the point in calling them out? It's not a problem, but an observation. Make them feel worse for no gain? It's a negative sum action.
Dontyoudaremister
Good Lord. I call bullshit if you have never done that. Also call bullshit if you've never done that exact shit on imgur.
You’ll be surprised. If I dont like something, i say it then and there. Not bitch about it. Life is fun that way. You should try it sometime
I mean I do that pretty often and even I have once in my life said somethingabout someone when they weren't listening. This isn't a problem
We aren't talking about a guy beating his kid. We are talking about a joke about hiking
Shouldn't need to vent about that in the first place. Says more about OP than the other guy, and not in a good way.
Findrek
Or possibly recognize a joke, and see its lighthearted, not a targeted attack?
But it isn't funny, and we really don't know anything else.I see idiots in shorts/sneakers all the time at altitude
So you can judge and insuly people with less gear, but its not ok to joke about excessive gear? Real consistent logic there.
UltraXar
Isn't calling someone judgmental an act of being judgmental?
Probably
SilentZed
It is judgemental, though still correct in pointing it out. The guy might have just said it light heartedly, since text lacks inflection.
LokiKingOfJotunheim
We're all just a bunch of Judgemental Jerry's then I guess...
PoppinLochNessHopster
Besides imgur is the most judgemental site I've been on. /b/ is literally less harsh towards specific groups of people.
12rt2345g342563
There are more women on imgur. Of Course it's more judgemental.
i c wut u did ther
marginallysane1
There's something to say for being prepared. Often regret it if you're not.
Its funny people mocking the more experienced/ prepared outdoors men. I live by the ten essentials model because shit can go wrong.
fuckin boy scout!
Exactly, especially if you're out there with other people
I have seen a little bit of everything in terms of people being dumb in the outdoors.
I was a guide this past summer, and I did a fair amount of backpacking. I don't get why sometimes people mocked more experienced.
There is this dumb sense of machoism beginners have of "Oh I don't need this gear, I don't need to eat this good, drink this much".
Cypheri
I always carry, minimum, a first aid kit and enough food/water for me and my dog to last 3 days. Never know when shit's gonna hit the fan.
blacksteve
assured me they wouldn't die but were likely in for the scare of a lifetime. I drank 1.5gals of water that day by myself and I was still 4/
sideways and you can't just "pull the car around"... so yeah I might be overprepared some of the time, but anyone who'd mock that clearly 6/
Fucking seriously. Hiked up to Crystal Lake in RMNP earlier this year, on the way back out, near sundown, saw a mother w/ two <10yo kids 1/
just hasn't been there. 7/7
RMNP-20 to 40 degree swing from noon to sunset easy. People are ignorant. Guy just recently spent 3 days out there.
cramping up by the end, and it was fucking cold when the sun went down. I've literally carried friends' packs out because shit went 5/
and 2qts of water between them and no layers. This was at 11k feet, they had a 7mi return trip, and the sun was going down. She asked "is 2/
the end close?" and being dehydrated/not in my right mind I said "maybe another 0.5mi". I later regretted it and told a park ranger, who 3/
JimboChief
Not saying it was the case, but I often wear my hiking backpack on trails that don’t need it to train for longer hikes. Weighted and whatnot
Dionysus187
You don't need that shit for most hikes. 'hikers' in general need to calm the fuck down. Its not cross country skiing.
turdfergy
Lol fuck hikers.
Raecracy123abc
Also if you're a serious hiker it's just force of habit to treat your knees right grab your go-to pack & own only hiking jackets
PunteDai
Better to be overprepared ... many times I've had to share my water/ snacks with hikers unprepared for the conditions
Diddykongkey
Same. It's how I prepared for the JMT
Casually
Exactly. Do I need all this stuff today? No. Will I need it two months from now on a 10 mountain hike? Yes. I want to be ready.
*high fives* don't leave me hanging!
*takes trekking pole off hand*
*high five*
MDavidsonJutland
I do the same. I hiked with 25 kg for 3 km just to train. Looked ridicilous, but i could feel it help on the trail itself.
NikDikins
True story. I always use regular trails to train. I get stared at all the time, but I am wearing an OCP ruck sack and running so I get it.
sombrerohorsewagon
I remember helping out a lady in crocs who decided to hike the highline trail in GMNP without water. Luckily I had my camelback.
Precisely. You've got to condition before setting out on multi day treks.
imnewherebegentle
Same. Plus people look at you oddly when you just walk the trail with a bottle of whiskey.
Tutor
Also I don't give a fuck if someone takes hiking seriously. You do you and screw it what others think.
Felman
I'm a fat fuck so I need the hydration and help.
thevaginalviscerator
Yeah one time so kids were being super douchy about how much gear my wife and I had, but we were about 40 miles in to a 60 mile hike
javjav
Also how old is this guy? Dude in his 40s trailing after taking his back pain meds ain't gonna be as spry as a kid.
This.
Squirrelprophecies
I used hiking sticks on the last mountain because I had a bum knee.
ottotravel
I've found them to be great.
And you use them to avoid developing bum knees too fast
gellynods
Same.
photodojo
Hiked the Grand Canyon loaded with camping gear. I’ve seen people with a daypack hiking to the bottom and back.
BigAdam
Got to make sure the straps are right. Good backpacks a bitch to find.
GermanWithASlightTendencyToImproviseOnOrthography
2 moth ago I went hiking with a friend in Stubai and he had a cheap-ass 60 liter backpack with no hip support to speak of.
We had to quit after 3 days.
texasfoodman
Hell yes they are. Only good ones I can really find are from boreas.
TheUltimatePunMaster
Granted, I don't go hiking too often with it, but the backpack I use for school is a Trans by JanSport and it's perfect for my needs
DoggoPicsMakeMeHungry
Do they make a Cis backpack. Asking for a friend
Kinclair
CloD0
The belt is the most important. I have a Lowe Alpine Cerro Torre and can carry 20+kg and not feel a thing (apart from thighs burning)
Cereaza
Yeah, but how many walking sticks you going with?
MostlySunnyInMyWorld
My hubby and I do that, too. We get a lot of weird looks. Don't care.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
my dad does really long hikes and when I was a kid and weighted about as much as his pack, he would practice with me on his back.
the day I got too heavy was the saddest day ever
oprahslovechild
Was gonna say that.
EndersGameofThrones
I've worn my hydration pack to bike around the city or go to an amusement park. Also, if he thinks North Face is high end hiking gear he 1/
TKOFoxxxe
I love my hydration pack it's easy access water on my back. Who doesn't want that? Jealous people. That's who.
doesn't read the message boards where "serious hikers" bash TNF all day long. 2/2
I collect hydration packs like women collect purses (well not that bad but I do have a few)
WhatUpIGotABigHawk
They do however make pretty good trail running gear, which if this guy just had a vest, could have been doing.
Fachera
This. Also training for long hike in full gear and weighted backpack in steep trails close home. It is my 4th lap you twat.
Quaddamn
Indeed. I was just thinking similar. We looked like jackasses carrying around a huge overstuffed backpack, trodding around the little >>
< hiking trails in Dallas here and getting weird looks while training for backpacking through europe.
foxfire1112
Doesn't make it any less over dramatic lol
DemSumBigAssRidges
Also, staying hydrated is important regardless...
YouCheckedTheUsernameHaveACookie
Hail hydrate
Freakayou
toxicchili
And don't forget the naked Barbie.
amishcannoli
It was probably filled with bourbon
Pathologe
People died of overhydration since physical stress like that sets the water retention system in motion
BassTapir
Okay, unless you're joking I'e just learnt something. Cheers!
SheepInWolfClothing
Also, some people can't handle the same things some five year olds can, either due to being raised in lower-altitude environments or due 1/
to medical issues. 2/2
inpuredeceit
I’m a total klutz and prone to ankle sprains. I take a full pack because if I fall on a trail w/out cell service I may be there all night.
Being prepared! Nothing wrong with that ;)
CherryEmpress
Yeah and I mean when so have good hiking boots and what not, why wouldn’t I wear them for any length of joke?
ChetManley
the autocorrect is strong with this one
Hahah holy shit I didn't see how mangled that sentence came out until just now. Thanks, phone (and my apparent lack of paying attention).
definitelynotaseagull
All the parts are there, you're just not putting them together.
StormheartKing
Also it's very hard to tell how long someone has been out. I use connecting trails most casual hikers don't know about to get a longer hike.
Fatpicasso
lol i've never heard of a hispter hiker until today, thanks
lol
True. When I do mile 20+ mile hikes there is no single trail, lots of 0.5-2 mile trails that intersect.
NerdPreferred
Filthy casuals.
TheW83
I hike on the Florida Trail and see people decked out. It's a simple trail but runs hundreds of miles with lots of entries for quick trips.
jridley
Same when bike riding. I sometimes pull onto a road and have a guy behind me hammer past. Good on ya buddy. I'm on mile 53, nothing to prove
Shelest
I never leave home without my naked Barbie.
Bouree
I never leave home naked
I never leave home :/
Aww, have a pixel hug and an upvote, internet stranger. <3
aka184mommie
But that's not as amusing
CheddarFiend
Stop ruining the funny with your logic! *Hissss*
neeks64
Exactly. I probably look like a weirdo on easy trails with my backpacking gear on but I'm just trying to get from one peak to the next.
JustDontCare
You guys keep it up. Do whatcha want.
There's also the option of going back and forth. Shit. It's almost like this tweet was inflammatory without actual purpose or thought
Heated76
Agreed the main trail I use is only 12 miles long but there are literally hundreds of miles of connecting trails in the 12 mile stretch
PinkLlamaShark
Filthy casuals
Lol!
TheActualMalloryArcher
I only hike thrpugh the Afghan mountains with pregnant wife, you casual!
dcwldct
So true, I once ran into a woman (I live in MN) on a small holding trail, but I found out she had been hiking since Washington state!
SixFeetShort
If you want to walk through a state, northern Idaho is pretty short. And mountainous. . .
ImgurCouncilOfLlamas
Montana and the Dakotas aren't. MN is Minnesota.
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED2
She knows bus tickets are pretty cheap right?
YuJinX5
That's a bit of a hike...
poorlyWRITENshortStories
Awww i live there too. You play dnd or pokemon go?
Never played DnD but I've wanted to, just a matter of finding a day we all have time to play. Also, No I no longer play Pokemon go.
Im sad now lol
Hiking*
cerealboxhero
Someone’s been abused by the grammar nazis lol
Gerolanfalan
You had it right the first time.
He was correcting "holding"
UncleShitSmear
Co-worker was on the Camino trail in Spain, ran into a woman and her husband, about 90 years old who were walking home from India to Belgium
Enoan
Going through Spain from India to Belgium?
TheBassSlayer
Through north Africa during winter I'm sure
ITellPeopleWhatToPaint
How old were they when they started?
AtlasUnbound
At least 7.
27
Wombatish
ShiftyToaster
You can tell by the pinkness of their skin
BahamutBBob
Are you an Andorian?
DickPicEnthusiast
What if they're back?
For some reason I don't see black people all geared up traveling through south america, so I never got the chance to make fun of them.
Raizioo
Turn them around
thesmelge
I get this cycling. People on their cheap bikes going the 2km between villages on the cycleway laughing at me being tired on my fancy bike.
Nnsoch
You're a spandex warrior, aren't you? I can smell it.
Mountain biker, actually. Training to do the West Highland Way. Usually not done by bike, and takes 3 days if you do. I want to do it in 1.
deliciousbananapancakes
I once got overtaken by a guy laughing going up a hill, I was 5 miles away from completing a 500 mile trip.
I got overtaken by an overweight old guy going up a steep hill. He was on an eBike though, I could hear the motor. He thought it was funny.
Sorry, you just started, I've already done 58km to get to this point, fuck you.
Fight4theUser
You gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers.
It sounds like that's what he's trying to do, IMO
Actually, no I don't. I need to be training offroad rather than on cycleways and roads for what I want to do. This is just for stamina.
I would never laugh. See a person on a nice back and they're tired and I am assuming you're putting in some work that day. Respect.
*nice bike
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
As a Norwegian, we often play spot the German/Dutchman/Frenchman when we're out hiking in the mountains.
AimForTheLittleToe
I play spot the city-swuad. Usually the ones on longer skitrips dressed like olympians instead of according to the actual weather
RepresentativeOfNorway
As the REP of Norway i can confirm! It is by far the best outdoor game we have!
Cal1te
Same in Scotland, spot the tourist.
Brainlard
In Austria it's the other way round. You far too often get to see Germans, Czechs, a.s.o in sandals running around in high alpine territory.
nonomos
So, how do you spot them?
First sign: No Norwegian under 60 uses walking stick.
pawdraig
Same in Ireland, you can spot the Americans or Germans a mile away by their hiking boots. We don't even have mountains, just big hills
aoenofhorus
And guess what the Swedes play?
AychEm
Can confirm this as a fellow Norwegian
kristofferactive
You Norwegians are obsessed with hiking and being sporty. All yoga pants and spandex especially worn men on regular daily basis is weird
fishb0x
Deuter backpacks! :D (german)
MonkeyWrenchGang
Beware of grimpers!
Bassaker
As an Imgerman, how do you identify one of us in the woods? Dark plumage and occasional 'seek hail, seek hail' mating call?
GeneralBullshit
Norwegian here, can confirm
JohnBoy3
Thanks for not citing the Englishman in this. I now feel ever closer to my Nordic cousins!
2fligh2high
How do you pinpoint the Dutchman?
Harder to spot but similar to Germans, but less noticeable. Taller and a bit more talkative.
Yep, sounds about right :)
TheGreatCatMassacre
Hehe perfect. We did that when we went up to Preikestolen. Then there were the Asian tourist walking in high heels. Fun fun all the way
thegrandfalafel
Well, I'll just confuse you, then, with my wooden shoes, lederhosen, and beret.
Saturniidae
As an American... Germans are prepared, Dutchmen are...? And Frenchmen are... I dunno, carrying wine?
Dutchmen are often not prepared, we do carry cheese but the wooden shoes are not always handy. Especially in the death zone (>8000 meters).
They all are prepared but in slightly different ways, that's why the game is a challenge. They behave slightly different from us
I would very much like to hear more. I find this fascinating.
It's nothing special, you just need a large space with a few people in it. You have to guess from a distance who they are. Part of the
reason the game exist is because of small differences in conformity.
MeerkatSchmeerkat
I got a lot of shit when I bought my hiking boots online without prior video analysis of my walking style on a treadmill in a store...
Sounds harsh. I thought that was mostly for the running fanatics.
DaJoW
Well if you're going on one of those ludicrous hiking trips, i.e. walking 10+ hours a day, you probably want the perfect shoes.
Yeah, but half the reason the perfect boots are perfect is several years of use
AnotherLowski
I wouldn't buy them online, but rather try them on at a store. But walking style analysis seems a bit over the top.
Dedeurmetdebaard
As a Frenchman: our hydration packs contain red wine.
SlaktRein
As a norwegian, both french and german tourists have shared red wine with me on hikes, gotta say im warming up to all these tourists.
Doyouevenpraisethesun
And camembert and saucisson sec.
French often are dressed in outdoor clothes of the brand Mammot from head to toe.
That shit is expensive!
FirstWorldAnarchist
Oh sweet summer child. outdoor clothing get's much much more expensive than marmot. Arc'teryx, OR, etc.
For now my garbage sack with holes in it will do just fine ya darn Rockefeller.
justanotter1
Don't forget the white towel
Trickymex
And a Scottish person would be doing it in a stained string vest, worn out reebok classics with a can of stella in his hand
Nah man, Puma's
Stella? Woah now mister "fancy"
MrE158
All I can see now is Rab C. Nesbitt lurching his way up Ben Nevis.
LouReen
Good that i‘m only half german. Bad that the other half half is british. Worst is, i look like someone from turk. When i hike its weird
*Turkey
HerrFraeulein
Are you me? Also half German half English mongrel!!
SuperTacticalSandwich
My brother is in Germany and really wants to go hiking, and is willing to travel. We are experienced hikers. Where do you recommend?
Ask me about Norway and I'll have an answer
I apologize, I didn't specify clearly. He is in Germany, wants to visit Norway. Where can we hike in Norway?
How many days roughly?
3-5
OmgWhyAmILikeThis
I sometimes feel dumb when the first part of my 20 mile hikes are popular for short hikes.
Hard to keep up that attitude when you get kids. Then you're stuck 20 meters from the parking lot.
No kids so far. I think I'm just going to go be an Alaskan bush man. Avoid the temptation.
Germans always carry top notch gear. No exceptions.
IAmWAYTooOldForThisShite
The Germans didn't carry top-notch gear when they marched on Moscow now, did they?
PinochetHelicopterRidesAndRentals
But when winter comes around they seem to be lacking in the warm-clothes department.
mauricereeves
And it’s probably in great condition too.
travisflagg61411
Ohh, burn!
Number one tell-tale is using every loop, daisy chain and carabiner on the backpack for something (instead of keeping everything inside).
trigger60
They have to show how little fun they are having. Only good hike is a serious hike.
"This loop must serve a purpose. It can't just be there without being used."
We hike mountains because they're there, not because it's fun ;-)
KarlderMarder
As a german, I prefer beeing overequipped instead of beeing the one who tries to climb the matterhorn in shorts and has to be rescued
Who would have thought.
kambojah
being contradict is all most germans are able to do in discussions
Yggdrasilstreehouse
As another German, there is nothing I admire more than preparedness
JupitersWitch
Many Germans settled in Texas. We are called crazy for prepping though.
Mxxt
Yes thank you. Agreeing as a brit. Who wants to have to call mountain rescue for an injury
RuthlessRuben
As an Austrian, thanks for being a German with common sense who doesn't hike the Ötscher trail in sandals.
xFryla
As a Dutchwoman, I felt intimidated by Norwegians running up the hill over huge rocks and tree roots... I was out of breath 15 mins in.
Practice makes perfect. My impression is that dutch people that you meet in the mountains are in pretty good shape.
LongCommentChainAppreciator
It's okay, they get nauseous when the land turns to flat C:
TheGreatLadyGagathe
Not true! I moved from Norway to Skåne in the south of Sweden, and I could just keep walking. forever.. there was nothing to slow me down.
And that was walking at a moderate pace. We really don't havr proper hills in our country after all xD.
PompatusOfLove
Born in the Dutch Alps, I have to disagree.
"Dutch Alps"? If you mean Limburg that is barely worth mentioning. We got two proper hills, that's it.
There's even a song about it. Can't deny that.
biggreencow
As a US Navyman climbing Fuji-san in Japan, I was intimidated by 103 year old women climbing faster than me
TheMagicalUpvoteFearie
Do you have any idea how flat our country is? (Dutch). Our tallest hill (no mountains) is 300m and most of it is in germany. 2nd is 110m...
*Cries in Swiss*
HomunculusSr
As of 2010, we have an 887m volcano actually ;)
SanPedroLover
I am the American guy tripping on Mescaline in the mountains. Have you ever spotted me?
Your kind is easy to spot, cause they are often accompanied by a large mother helicopter flying them to the nearest Hospital. ;)
itsjustjake
Way to go, Pedro.
IEatYourSombrero
Yes but you and that tree were having a private moment.
unclestankstank
He can't see you after you've become one with the woods.
OuchYoureonmyhair
News flash: those weren't mountains. You were sitting on a stack of newspapers at the recycling plant. Sorry.
dolphindreamsandsatan
Oh like that hasn't happened to all of us at one time or another...
Psychedelicious
Never tried mescaline but would like to. How is the trip?
It is the best feeling a human could ever have. Full of love & peace, very euphoric and humbling. Slow smooth come up & slow smooth comedown
There is a reason why it was nicknamed San Pedro Cactus. Saint Peter is said to hold the key to heaven. Its heaven on earth.
alwaysmoorelaw
It's amazing. Euphoric fuck that other guy.
CumsInPies
I don't wanna fuck that guy. But I agree mescaline is pretty fun.
Too rare in the Norwegian mountains to have been spotted, I think. We've got some liberty cap guys and gals in the lower forests though.
lordstinkynuts
Liberty cap?
YourLittleBuddy
Mushrooms.
Hold up. Is there Mescaline in Norway?
lilskank
Likely locally synthesized or imported from elsewhere. IF I remember correctly, it's only "naturally" found in SW US/ Mexico.
Choreopithecus
San Pedro cactus in South America too. So named because San Pedro is the guy who meets you at the gates of heaven in Christian mythology.
How have I never realized that Peter and Pedro are the same name?
Could be wrong though. I'm probably going to Google it now just in case. I love drugs.
Mescaline is the best medicine
PatrickTrimble
Mescaline is awesome
As is peyote
powwerbottom
Due to the same active hallucinogen
Welp... That explains that! +1 for helping me learn something new. :-)
TheFrenchCanadianTaunter
How does it compare to shrooms or LSD?
Yes, and I would add that the visuals are more organic in nature; less consistent patterns and more plant shapes
Easier to handle, it is very smooth & warm, gentle & loving. Very peaceful & blissful, full of euphoria. Makes you feel balanced & pure.
Very welcoming in my experience. Intense but not scary
Very true. The cactus takes it easy on the psyche, teaches lessons & humbles the ego with out any mind-fuck or ego death. Very smooth.
escargotfuckyourself
Very similar to acid. More of a body high with some good visuals, none of the psychological stress of shrooms. GREAT to take in nature.
The best way to take cactus is when there will be nature involved, even if only in the backyard of a house. Being outside feel great on it.
Benhorn7
I thought Norwegians played Spot the Lost Heavy Metal group?
SW4GGY
No, we try to stay far away from them.
MemefoWars
Yea, that may be the case during winter. We play "spot the black/death metal"
They are not in the moutains but in the forest and groves closer to civilization.
But do you play the game?
We all play the game
BeesechurgerProductions
sonofafuckingbitchilostthegame...
Kregular365
Spot the german is an old game played by norwegians back in 1940+ (too soon?)
Niiice.....
It's never too soon
NineThousandAndOne
1940 is 77 years ago, no it’s not too soon :)
ZAPZAPMOTHAFUCKA
Never too soon for Nazi Killing/Jokes
monkeyscout
sentientseven
The neighbours also like to play:
Jinx2680
The White Death
mrsatiainen
Exept he didnt hunt no nazis. Only russians
Same game, different pawns.
https://68.media.tumblr.com/980061a7be4e79aae4aa28154ff84a2b/tumblr_nilva04SNe1s81gzyo1_500.png
12345six
Why should this be a joke
CoderWithoutCaffeine
Did you missed ww2 history lessons?
Why Not?
Skittleballs
In 1945, it was replaced by the game “spot the women who've banged Germans and shave their heads“
METAAAAAAAAAL
We had that in Denmark too
Hair grows back, good memories stay.
MistressLyda
And their children was taken.
MYNAMEISBOILER
GOOD MEMORIES STAY!
That's sad, but having an occupying force in my land right now i can understand where that comes from.
Th1ng
what am I if I wear a fjallraven jacket and timberland boots? apart from hipster I mean
My first though would be that it's the first time you're hiking outside a trail made of concrete. Nationality unknown.
you could have sugercoated that one, you know... :|
Sorry! I'm sure you're a swell guy or gal! And you're looking hella fine in that jacket and those boots.
iamthisguy247
That's awful. You let her wear crocs?
spanky11
Did you just assume their gender?!?!
unnecessaryredarrows
I just had to tell my 40yr old friend not to wear crocs in front of his new girlfriend. I'm a good friend.
StaleGale
I was anti croc till I had a child. Best summer shoe for a toddler EVER.
*fingers in ears* IM NOT LISTENING, LA LA LA LA!
bjorklund
Crocs, as hideous as they are, be comfy as fuck
invalidredditor
No laces, no straps, they rock
heeziedoesit
Yeah, fuck that guy.
Reelthreat
Did you just assume the 5 year olds gender?
Well did you assume that I assumed the gender based on my choice of pronoun. Maybe it's a boy and she's lovely.
Well shit, I was trying to be sarcastic then you drop this heavy shit on me...
whatyouknowaboutthemtexasboys
Did you just assume this child's gender based on the the toy they play with?!?! Shame shame shame.
I suppose I did.
MacMorth
You're mistaken, it has to be a boy - it says Barbie was naked!
There really is no shame in your game. I'm just trolling :)
JasonHaugen
Did you just assume its gender?
No the main assumption I made was that the Barbie was wearing crocs too. That's the "she" I was referring to.
That was Ken in drag, come on sheeple!
ionlycommentwithgifsandpics
Wow... you really can't understabd sarcasm can you?
Dude I was joking too.
K sorry
IronMarla
Crocs are cheap as fuck and kids don't care about wearing decent shoes. :)
ITalkAboutGoats
They aren't cheap. Maybe the off brands, but crocs are expensive as fuck.
ballpeenX
Also comfortable and easy to clean.
Enh, easy to clean for sure, but they're only comfortable if you don't have to walk on them all day.
It's not about what they care. I'd die a little inside if my kids wore them. There are other cheap/cheaper options.
FragileReality
Ol, wait until you get a toddler that loves to be outside. Flops trip them up and sock and shoes are for weenies (*Floridian*)
I have had two toddlers manage without crocs.
Oh, I agree. My Dad wears them! ...but then again, they're blazing orange and they float, and he boats often.
I find them acceptable as 'don't fuck up my nice shoes' alternatives, and kids are forever fucking up their nice shoes.
TBH don't know why I hate them so much, and I acknowledge it's very pretentious, but my hate is too blind to accept that they are functional
Sammyv17
Imagining your dad walking on water wearing Crocs.
I have already seen him watercroccing. It's like waterskiing, but you just do it in your crocs because you're drunk. :)
Spaid47Trey57
Yes, WITH YOU. That's how she was able to carry less.
Pnkfaerie
I'm the one with the camelbak backpack full of water and snacks on the hike and a first aid kit BECAUSE my kids are with me. We go for 2 hrs
DukePhelan
Have proper equipment and means of hydration in any scenario. You hike a trail, you bring water at a minimum. What is this, prep shaming?
UserHardlyKnowHer
I’ll wear a pack on a 4 mike hike just incase. Trekking poles are a bit much but testing your gear is always a good move.
Gudmuan13
Kudos to the guy for getting out there at all
DeserTimmy
Thanks! I haven't hiked a lot of trails - I don't hike almost every weekend. I'm training up to not hike mt. Denali this summer.
AllGreatMenHaveBeards
I'm pretty sure hee wasn't talking about you specifically lol. But good on ya m8
repsac
Maybe your son doesn't have knee injuries and therefore has no need for trekking poles (hiking sticks).
MrAwesomesauce101
I fucked up my knees a few times going up steep mountains. Poles are very helpful to prevent this.
mormacil
Fucking this. It's the only way I can descend at a human speed and not fuck up my knees for a week. Been like that since my teens.
hindsightforpres2020
Yeah, went on a 6 miler last weekend, was glad i had them though, i hike with my camelback and all every time, but im also out of shape
hindsightforpres2020
and messed up my knees 15 years ago in HS football
TemporaryUzername
Maybe he's doing back to back trail runs, ya stupid boot.
TCGView
Maybe they have health issues that a kid may not have to worry about.
Afamouspersonmaybe
K, well, you know nothing about that other guy, other than what he has on. What kind of douche god are you to judge him?
prufock
Remember kids, if you do nothing, and train not at all, you too can develop an inflated sense of self-worth!
kimsahobbit
Maybe he walked to the trail, where as you drove there. Not to mention, a naked Barbie is much lighter than a fully clothed Barbie.
RustyNeX
kids have way more energy than adults
Armithel
While that may be true, their overall stamina is not even relevant.
RustyNeX
when i was a kid my parents took me up an 803m mountain, i RAN the whole way to the top and waited for them. didn't even break a sweat
BreadyStinellis
And way higher muscle to weight ratio. It's not that hard to move 40lbs.
danielsan1977
Iammoney45
When I was preping for a 2 week backpacking trip I would walk around the local parks in full kit to get used to how it all fit.
MrAwesomesauce101
I prepped for a 3 week one I would go up a mountain several times with 70 pounds and def got some looks.
MrAwesomesauce101
Philmont?
eagle193
found the Boy Scout! represent
MrAwesomesauce101
BSA!
Iammoney45
Yeap, was in 2016, 721L, itinerary 22
MrAwesomesauce101
In 2013 I had your itinerary initially, but was rerouted due to wildfires.
MrAwesomesauce101
I was a Ranger this past summer. In 2016 I was Rayado 620-RM-8, in 2013 I was 614-B-02 Itinerary 17.
Iammoney45
I almost did Rayado this year, but I wasn't able to due to scedual conflicts.
MrAwesomesauce101
Do it. It is the hardest and most rewarding program the BSA has offer by far.
Kryalis
This is stupid, they are likely going for a longer distance at a quicker pace and don’t have their daddy carrying their gear.
SushiJaguar
Staying hydrated can't be taken seriously enough.
KeeleonOhms
And your 5 year old is the dead kid we read about in the papers when you fall and break your leg.
mineovermatter
This. So much this. I'm one of the "over-prepared"...never had an unsolvable problem on trail though
aluriilol
Wow I hate people who hydrate. And vests? Ew.
MadmanApex
iknowright, vests?? is this some kind of 90s boy band tour??
Mercenarity
Yes, and carrying a hiking stick to a hike? The nerve.
myweaknessisstrong
Your 5 y/o knees don't click when they walk around, and I refuse to hold a bottle of water in my hand.
LoodGookin
This is exactly why I have a pack, so that I don't have to hold that dam water bottle.
randompotayhtoah
just cuz you saw him doing a similar thing doesn't mean he is doing the same thing as you
tuxedofish
Bff
ThereIsNoCurseInElvishEntishOrTheTonguesOfMenForThisTreachery
Something that lazy people do to make themselves feel better is making fun of people doing something more constructive or better than them.
IDidntDoIt
Yeah that half mile trail you were on is probably connected to miles more. He could've been out there for day
UrKungFuNoGood
was looking for this comment
freezingpilot
My cousins had to get airlifted/rescued one time. On a simple day hike. If you are going into the woods, you go prepared.
freezingpilot
So yeah, I'm that guy with bear bells/spray, 3 days of water, fire kit, med kit, rations, axe, etc. I may look goofy, but I'm prepared.
inkgrrl
Bear bells? Like, a typo of bear balls, or like cowbells? I am intrigued please send more information.
freezingpilot
Most bear attacks happen because they are startled. You wear a little bell on your pack, the bears know you are coming, and avoid you.
freezingpilot
The usefullness of them is up for debate, of course, but why take a chance? I'd rather have the bells alert the bear, then use the spray.
repsac
Yeah shame on someone for having a hydration pack. Water is overrated.
Syralight
Yeah, how dare he try to go outdoors? Make fun him just like those fat people at the gym....
whosagoodboy92
was this the guy you saw?
userfriendly19777
I remember Gaustatoppen. Happy Norwegian fjell-monkees with ordinary clothes, children, elderly and even some overweights. No big deal
speakerjunk
I've got one messed up knee from fighting competitively and the sticks help take the downward pressure off of it.
Iamaperson1166
My parents got knee problems and just starting hiking again because they got some sticks. :)
thedeathstarwasaninsidejob1
Or you know...maybe let people do their thing and be less judgmental?
oxadelore
For real lmao. The guys out there and that’s what’s important
DemoB0y
NO! Fuck you, and fuck Crocks.
scoopette1993
I think it's supposed to be a joke
allhayl
I hope so.
rookiefdb
yeah the amount of people that get lost and need extra provisions is crazy. better to have something you don't need than etc..
zellar2020
I’m with you ello, people spend too much time worrying about others than themselves.
Keru
I'm more judgemental of assholes who trek into the wilderness without gear than those who over-gear. Never underestimate nature.
TheGhostofLouReed
What are you, Mr. Rogers?
LittleKnownOne
Don't take his name in vain or you'll find yourself at the base of a mountain of bodies as he stands victorious in a blood stained sweater.
thedeathstarwasaninsidejob1
Bitch, I might be!
TheGhostofLouReed
Well, let's test that: how many cardigans do you own?
Cucumberclouds
May we all aspire to be as good as Fred Rogers.
Kangadilla
I'm gonna be honest, that guy always creeped me out when i was younger, and I had to have my mom convince me he wasn't a pedo or anything.
Kangadilla
Learning more, he is most definitely not, but for ME, he was not a good role model at all. I thought he was a middle aged creep.
twofishtails
Yeah, that voice alone! Perfect role model for Imgur weenies, though.
PuppyDontCare
Oh shut, up it's funny! We make fun of them in south america too. Them and asians with their selfies.
Kavrae
Everyone is judgmental to some degree. I'll just give him points for venting here instead of calling the guy out personally.
skorpz
Talking behind someone’s back and bitching about them rather than expressing your problem like a man? Shows what a pussy ass bitch you are.
Kavrae
What's the point in calling them out? It's not a problem, but an observation. Make them feel worse for no gain? It's a negative sum action.
Dontyoudaremister
Good Lord. I call bullshit if you have never done that. Also call bullshit if you've never done that exact shit on imgur.
skorpz
You’ll be surprised. If I dont like something, i say it then and there. Not bitch about it. Life is fun that way. You should try it sometime
Dontyoudaremister
I mean I do that pretty often and even I have once in my life said somethingabout someone when they weren't listening. This isn't a problem
Dontyoudaremister
We aren't talking about a guy beating his kid. We are talking about a joke about hiking
allhayl
Shouldn't need to vent about that in the first place. Says more about OP than the other guy, and not in a good way.
Findrek
Or possibly recognize a joke, and see its lighthearted, not a targeted attack?
mineovermatter
But it isn't funny, and we really don't know anything else.I see idiots in shorts/sneakers all the time at altitude
Findrek
So you can judge and insuly people with less gear, but its not ok to joke about excessive gear? Real consistent logic there.
UltraXar
Isn't calling someone judgmental an act of being judgmental?
thedeathstarwasaninsidejob1
Probably
SilentZed
It is judgemental, though still correct in pointing it out. The guy might have just said it light heartedly, since text lacks inflection.
LokiKingOfJotunheim
We're all just a bunch of Judgemental Jerry's then I guess...
PoppinLochNessHopster
Besides imgur is the most judgemental site I've been on. /b/ is literally less harsh towards specific groups of people.
12rt2345g342563
There are more women on imgur. Of Course it's more judgemental.
PoppinLochNessHopster
i c wut u did ther
marginallysane1
There's something to say for being prepared. Often regret it if you're not.
MrAwesomesauce101
Its funny people mocking the more experienced/ prepared outdoors men. I live by the ten essentials model because shit can go wrong.
UrKungFuNoGood
fuckin boy scout!
marginallysane1
Exactly, especially if you're out there with other people
MrAwesomesauce101
I have seen a little bit of everything in terms of people being dumb in the outdoors.
MrAwesomesauce101
I was a guide this past summer, and I did a fair amount of backpacking. I don't get why sometimes people mocked more experienced.
MrAwesomesauce101
There is this dumb sense of machoism beginners have of "Oh I don't need this gear, I don't need to eat this good, drink this much".
Cypheri
I always carry, minimum, a first aid kit and enough food/water for me and my dog to last 3 days. Never know when shit's gonna hit the fan.
blacksteve
assured me they wouldn't die but were likely in for the scare of a lifetime. I drank 1.5gals of water that day by myself and I was still 4/
blacksteve
sideways and you can't just "pull the car around"... so yeah I might be overprepared some of the time, but anyone who'd mock that clearly 6/
blacksteve
Fucking seriously. Hiked up to Crystal Lake in RMNP earlier this year, on the way back out, near sundown, saw a mother w/ two <10yo kids 1/
blacksteve
just hasn't been there. 7/7
mineovermatter
RMNP-20 to 40 degree swing from noon to sunset easy. People are ignorant. Guy just recently spent 3 days out there.
blacksteve
cramping up by the end, and it was fucking cold when the sun went down. I've literally carried friends' packs out because shit went 5/
blacksteve
and 2qts of water between them and no layers. This was at 11k feet, they had a 7mi return trip, and the sun was going down. She asked "is 2/
blacksteve
the end close?" and being dehydrated/not in my right mind I said "maybe another 0.5mi". I later regretted it and told a park ranger, who 3/
JimboChief
Not saying it was the case, but I often wear my hiking backpack on trails that don’t need it to train for longer hikes. Weighted and whatnot
Dionysus187
You don't need that shit for most hikes. 'hikers' in general need to calm the fuck down. Its not cross country skiing.
turdfergy
Lol fuck hikers.
Raecracy123abc
Also if you're a serious hiker it's just force of habit to treat your knees right grab your go-to pack & own only hiking jackets
PunteDai
Better to be overprepared ... many times I've had to share my water/ snacks with hikers unprepared for the conditions
Diddykongkey
Same. It's how I prepared for the JMT
Casually
Exactly. Do I need all this stuff today? No. Will I need it two months from now on a 10 mountain hike? Yes. I want to be ready.
repsac
*high fives* don't leave me hanging!
Casually
*takes trekking pole off hand*
Casually
*high five*
MDavidsonJutland
I do the same. I hiked with 25 kg for 3 km just to train. Looked ridicilous, but i could feel it help on the trail itself.
NikDikins
True story. I always use regular trails to train. I get stared at all the time, but I am wearing an OCP ruck sack and running so I get it.
sombrerohorsewagon
I remember helping out a lady in crocs who decided to hike the highline trail in GMNP without water. Luckily I had my camelback.
repsac
Precisely. You've got to condition before setting out on multi day treks.
imnewherebegentle
Same. Plus people look at you oddly when you just walk the trail with a bottle of whiskey.
Tutor
Also I don't give a fuck if someone takes hiking seriously. You do you and screw it what others think.
Felman
I'm a fat fuck so I need the hydration and help.
thevaginalviscerator
Yeah one time so kids were being super douchy about how much gear my wife and I had, but we were about 40 miles in to a 60 mile hike
javjav
Also how old is this guy? Dude in his 40s trailing after taking his back pain meds ain't gonna be as spry as a kid.
repsac
This.
Squirrelprophecies
I used hiking sticks on the last mountain because I had a bum knee.
ottotravel
I've found them to be great.
repsac
And you use them to avoid developing bum knees too fast
gellynods
Same.
photodojo
Hiked the Grand Canyon loaded with camping gear. I’ve seen people with a daypack hiking to the bottom and back.
BigAdam
Got to make sure the straps are right. Good backpacks a bitch to find.
GermanWithASlightTendencyToImproviseOnOrthography
2 moth ago I went hiking with a friend in Stubai and he had a cheap-ass 60 liter backpack with no hip support to speak of.
GermanWithASlightTendencyToImproviseOnOrthography
We had to quit after 3 days.
texasfoodman
Hell yes they are. Only good ones I can really find are from boreas.
TheUltimatePunMaster
Granted, I don't go hiking too often with it, but the backpack I use for school is a Trans by JanSport and it's perfect for my needs
DoggoPicsMakeMeHungry
Do they make a Cis backpack. Asking for a friend
Kinclair
CloD0
The belt is the most important. I have a Lowe Alpine Cerro Torre and can carry 20+kg and not feel a thing (apart from thighs burning)
Cereaza
Yeah, but how many walking sticks you going with?
MostlySunnyInMyWorld
My hubby and I do that, too. We get a lot of weird looks. Don't care.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
my dad does really long hikes and when I was a kid and weighted about as much as his pack, he would practice with me on his back.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
the day I got too heavy was the saddest day ever
oprahslovechild
Was gonna say that.
EndersGameofThrones
I've worn my hydration pack to bike around the city or go to an amusement park. Also, if he thinks North Face is high end hiking gear he 1/
TKOFoxxxe
I love my hydration pack it's easy access water on my back. Who doesn't want that? Jealous people. That's who.
EndersGameofThrones
doesn't read the message boards where "serious hikers" bash TNF all day long. 2/2
repsac
I collect hydration packs like women collect purses (well not that bad but I do have a few)
WhatUpIGotABigHawk
They do however make pretty good trail running gear, which if this guy just had a vest, could have been doing.
Fachera
This. Also training for long hike in full gear and weighted backpack in steep trails close home. It is my 4th lap you twat.
Quaddamn
Indeed. I was just thinking similar. We looked like jackasses carrying around a huge overstuffed backpack, trodding around the little >>
Quaddamn
< hiking trails in Dallas here and getting weird looks while training for backpacking through europe.
foxfire1112
Doesn't make it any less over dramatic lol
DemSumBigAssRidges
Also, staying hydrated is important regardless...
YouCheckedTheUsernameHaveACookie
Hail hydrate
Freakayou
DemSumBigAssRidges
toxicchili
And don't forget the naked Barbie.
amishcannoli
It was probably filled with bourbon
Pathologe
People died of overhydration since physical stress like that sets the water retention system in motion
BassTapir
Okay, unless you're joking I'e just learnt something. Cheers!
SheepInWolfClothing
Also, some people can't handle the same things some five year olds can, either due to being raised in lower-altitude environments or due 1/
SheepInWolfClothing
to medical issues. 2/2
inpuredeceit
I’m a total klutz and prone to ankle sprains. I take a full pack because if I fall on a trail w/out cell service I may be there all night.
repsac
Being prepared! Nothing wrong with that ;)
CherryEmpress
Yeah and I mean when so have good hiking boots and what not, why wouldn’t I wear them for any length of joke?
ChetManley
the autocorrect is strong with this one
CherryEmpress
Hahah holy shit I didn't see how mangled that sentence came out until just now. Thanks, phone (and my apparent lack of paying attention).
definitelynotaseagull
All the parts are there, you're just not putting them together.
oprahslovechild
StormheartKing
Also it's very hard to tell how long someone has been out. I use connecting trails most casual hikers don't know about to get a longer hike.
Fatpicasso
lol i've never heard of a hispter hiker until today, thanks
repsac
lol
repsac
True. When I do mile 20+ mile hikes there is no single trail, lots of 0.5-2 mile trails that intersect.
NerdPreferred
Filthy casuals.
TheW83
I hike on the Florida Trail and see people decked out. It's a simple trail but runs hundreds of miles with lots of entries for quick trips.
jridley
Same when bike riding. I sometimes pull onto a road and have a guy behind me hammer past. Good on ya buddy. I'm on mile 53, nothing to prove
Shelest
I never leave home without my naked Barbie.
Bouree
I never leave home naked
Bouree
I never leave home :/
BassTapir
Aww, have a pixel hug and an upvote, internet stranger. <3
aka184mommie
But that's not as amusing
CheddarFiend
Stop ruining the funny with your logic! *Hissss*
neeks64
Exactly. I probably look like a weirdo on easy trails with my backpacking gear on but I'm just trying to get from one peak to the next.
JustDontCare
You guys keep it up. Do whatcha want.
JustDontCare
There's also the option of going back and forth. Shit. It's almost like this tweet was inflammatory without actual purpose or thought
Heated76
Agreed the main trail I use is only 12 miles long but there are literally hundreds of miles of connecting trails in the 12 mile stretch
PinkLlamaShark
Filthy casuals
NerdPreferred
Lol!
TheActualMalloryArcher
I only hike thrpugh the Afghan mountains with pregnant wife, you casual!
dcwldct
Kangadilla
So true, I once ran into a woman (I live in MN) on a small holding trail, but I found out she had been hiking since Washington state!
SixFeetShort
If you want to walk through a state, northern Idaho is pretty short. And mountainous. . .
ImgurCouncilOfLlamas
Montana and the Dakotas aren't. MN is Minnesota.
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED2
She knows bus tickets are pretty cheap right?
YuJinX5
That's a bit of a hike...
poorlyWRITENshortStories
Awww i live there too. You play dnd or pokemon go?
Kangadilla
Never played DnD but I've wanted to, just a matter of finding a day we all have time to play. Also, No I no longer play Pokemon go.
poorlyWRITENshortStories
Im sad now lol
Kangadilla
Hiking*
cerealboxhero
Someone’s been abused by the grammar nazis lol
Gerolanfalan
You had it right the first time.
TheUltimatePunMaster
He was correcting "holding"
UncleShitSmear
Co-worker was on the Camino trail in Spain, ran into a woman and her husband, about 90 years old who were walking home from India to Belgium
Enoan
Going through Spain from India to Belgium?
TheBassSlayer
Through north Africa during winter I'm sure
ITellPeopleWhatToPaint
How old were they when they started?
AtlasUnbound
At least 7.
TheBassSlayer
27
Wombatish
ShiftyToaster
PuppyDontCare
You can tell by the pinkness of their skin
BahamutBBob
Are you an Andorian?
DickPicEnthusiast
What if they're back?
PuppyDontCare
For some reason I don't see black people all geared up traveling through south america, so I never got the chance to make fun of them.
Raizioo
Turn them around
thesmelge
I get this cycling. People on their cheap bikes going the 2km between villages on the cycleway laughing at me being tired on my fancy bike.
Nnsoch
You're a spandex warrior, aren't you? I can smell it.
thesmelge
Mountain biker, actually. Training to do the West Highland Way. Usually not done by bike, and takes 3 days if you do. I want to do it in 1.
deliciousbananapancakes
I once got overtaken by a guy laughing going up a hill, I was 5 miles away from completing a 500 mile trip.
thesmelge
I got overtaken by an overweight old guy going up a steep hill. He was on an eBike though, I could hear the motor. He thought it was funny.
thesmelge
Sorry, you just started, I've already done 58km to get to this point, fuck you.
Fight4theUser
You gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers.
BahamutBBob
It sounds like that's what he's trying to do, IMO
thesmelge
Actually, no I don't. I need to be training offroad rather than on cycleways and roads for what I want to do. This is just for stamina.
repsac
I would never laugh. See a person on a nice back and they're tired and I am assuming you're putting in some work that day. Respect.
repsac
*nice bike
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
As a Norwegian, we often play spot the German/Dutchman/Frenchman when we're out hiking in the mountains.
AimForTheLittleToe
I play spot the city-swuad. Usually the ones on longer skitrips dressed like olympians instead of according to the actual weather
RepresentativeOfNorway
As the REP of Norway i can confirm! It is by far the best outdoor game we have!
Cal1te
Same in Scotland, spot the tourist.
Brainlard
In Austria it's the other way round. You far too often get to see Germans, Czechs, a.s.o in sandals running around in high alpine territory.
nonomos
So, how do you spot them?
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
First sign: No Norwegian under 60 uses walking stick.
pawdraig
Same in Ireland, you can spot the Americans or Germans a mile away by their hiking boots. We don't even have mountains, just big hills
aoenofhorus
And guess what the Swedes play?
AychEm
Can confirm this as a fellow Norwegian
kristofferactive
You Norwegians are obsessed with hiking and being sporty. All yoga pants and spandex especially worn men on regular daily basis is weird
fishb0x
Deuter backpacks! :D (german)
MonkeyWrenchGang
Beware of grimpers!
Bassaker
As an Imgerman, how do you identify one of us in the woods? Dark plumage and occasional 'seek hail, seek hail' mating call?
GeneralBullshit
Norwegian here, can confirm
JohnBoy3
Thanks for not citing the Englishman in this. I now feel ever closer to my Nordic cousins!
2fligh2high
How do you pinpoint the Dutchman?
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
Harder to spot but similar to Germans, but less noticeable. Taller and a bit more talkative.
2fligh2high
Yep, sounds about right :)
TheGreatCatMassacre
Hehe perfect. We did that when we went up to Preikestolen. Then there were the Asian tourist walking in high heels. Fun fun all the way
thegrandfalafel
Well, I'll just confuse you, then, with my wooden shoes, lederhosen, and beret.
Saturniidae
As an American... Germans are prepared, Dutchmen are...? And Frenchmen are... I dunno, carrying wine?
2fligh2high
Dutchmen are often not prepared, we do carry cheese but the wooden shoes are not always handy. Especially in the death zone (>8000 meters).
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
They all are prepared but in slightly different ways, that's why the game is a challenge. They behave slightly different from us
Saturniidae
I would very much like to hear more. I find this fascinating.
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
It's nothing special, you just need a large space with a few people in it. You have to guess from a distance who they are. Part of the
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
reason the game exist is because of small differences in conformity.
MeerkatSchmeerkat
I got a lot of shit when I bought my hiking boots online without prior video analysis of my walking style on a treadmill in a store...
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
Sounds harsh. I thought that was mostly for the running fanatics.
DaJoW
Well if you're going on one of those ludicrous hiking trips, i.e. walking 10+ hours a day, you probably want the perfect shoes.
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
Yeah, but half the reason the perfect boots are perfect is several years of use
AnotherLowski
I wouldn't buy them online, but rather try them on at a store. But walking style analysis seems a bit over the top.
Dedeurmetdebaard
As a Frenchman: our hydration packs contain red wine.
SlaktRein
As a norwegian, both french and german tourists have shared red wine with me on hikes, gotta say im warming up to all these tourists.
Doyouevenpraisethesun
And camembert and saucisson sec.
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
French often are dressed in outdoor clothes of the brand Mammot from head to toe.
2fligh2high
That shit is expensive!
FirstWorldAnarchist
Oh sweet summer child. outdoor clothing get's much much more expensive than marmot. Arc'teryx, OR, etc.
2fligh2high
For now my garbage sack with holes in it will do just fine ya darn Rockefeller.
justanotter1
Don't forget the white towel
Trickymex
And a Scottish person would be doing it in a stained string vest, worn out reebok classics with a can of stella in his hand
Cal1te
Nah man, Puma's
CheddarFiend
Stella? Woah now mister "fancy"
MrE158
All I can see now is Rab C. Nesbitt lurching his way up Ben Nevis.
LouReen
Good that i‘m only half german. Bad that the other half half is british. Worst is, i look like someone from turk. When i hike its weird
LouReen
*Turkey
HerrFraeulein
Are you me? Also half German half English mongrel!!
SuperTacticalSandwich
My brother is in Germany and really wants to go hiking, and is willing to travel. We are experienced hikers. Where do you recommend?
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
Ask me about Norway and I'll have an answer
SuperTacticalSandwich
I apologize, I didn't specify clearly. He is in Germany, wants to visit Norway. Where can we hike in Norway?
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
How many days roughly?
SuperTacticalSandwich
3-5
OmgWhyAmILikeThis
I sometimes feel dumb when the first part of my 20 mile hikes are popular for short hikes.
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
Hard to keep up that attitude when you get kids. Then you're stuck 20 meters from the parking lot.
OmgWhyAmILikeThis
No kids so far. I think I'm just going to go be an Alaskan bush man. Avoid the temptation.
MeerkatSchmeerkat
Germans always carry top notch gear. No exceptions.
IAmWAYTooOldForThisShite
The Germans didn't carry top-notch gear when they marched on Moscow now, did they?
PinochetHelicopterRidesAndRentals
But when winter comes around they seem to be lacking in the warm-clothes department.
mauricereeves
And it’s probably in great condition too.
travisflagg61411
Ohh, burn!
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
Number one tell-tale is using every loop, daisy chain and carabiner on the backpack for something (instead of keeping everything inside).
trigger60
They have to show how little fun they are having. Only good hike is a serious hike.
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
"This loop must serve a purpose. It can't just be there without being used."
HerrFraeulein
We hike mountains because they're there, not because it's fun ;-)
KarlderMarder
As a german, I prefer beeing overequipped instead of beeing the one who tries to climb the matterhorn in shorts and has to be rescued
2fligh2high
Who would have thought.
kambojah
being contradict is all most germans are able to do in discussions
Yggdrasilstreehouse
As another German, there is nothing I admire more than preparedness
JupitersWitch
Many Germans settled in Texas. We are called crazy for prepping though.
Mxxt
Yes thank you. Agreeing as a brit. Who wants to have to call mountain rescue for an injury
RuthlessRuben
As an Austrian, thanks for being a German with common sense who doesn't hike the Ötscher trail in sandals.
xFryla
As a Dutchwoman, I felt intimidated by Norwegians running up the hill over huge rocks and tree roots... I was out of breath 15 mins in.
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
Practice makes perfect. My impression is that dutch people that you meet in the mountains are in pretty good shape.
LongCommentChainAppreciator
It's okay, they get nauseous when the land turns to flat C:
TheGreatLadyGagathe
Not true! I moved from Norway to Skåne in the south of Sweden, and I could just keep walking. forever.. there was nothing to slow me down.
xFryla
And that was walking at a moderate pace. We really don't havr proper hills in our country after all xD.
PompatusOfLove
Born in the Dutch Alps, I have to disagree.
xFryla
"Dutch Alps"? If you mean Limburg that is barely worth mentioning. We got two proper hills, that's it.
PompatusOfLove
There's even a song about it. Can't deny that.
biggreencow
As a US Navyman climbing Fuji-san in Japan, I was intimidated by 103 year old women climbing faster than me
TheMagicalUpvoteFearie
Do you have any idea how flat our country is? (Dutch). Our tallest hill (no mountains) is 300m and most of it is in germany. 2nd is 110m...
CheddarFiend
*Cries in Swiss*
HomunculusSr
As of 2010, we have an 887m volcano actually ;)
SanPedroLover
I am the American guy tripping on Mescaline in the mountains. Have you ever spotted me?
Bassaker
Your kind is easy to spot, cause they are often accompanied by a large mother helicopter flying them to the nearest Hospital. ;)
itsjustjake
Way to go, Pedro.
IEatYourSombrero
Yes but you and that tree were having a private moment.
unclestankstank
He can't see you after you've become one with the woods.
OuchYoureonmyhair
News flash: those weren't mountains. You were sitting on a stack of newspapers at the recycling plant. Sorry.
dolphindreamsandsatan
Oh like that hasn't happened to all of us at one time or another...
Psychedelicious
Never tried mescaline but would like to. How is the trip?
SanPedroLover
It is the best feeling a human could ever have. Full of love & peace, very euphoric and humbling. Slow smooth come up & slow smooth comedown
SanPedroLover
There is a reason why it was nicknamed San Pedro Cactus. Saint Peter is said to hold the key to heaven. Its heaven on earth.
alwaysmoorelaw
It's amazing. Euphoric fuck that other guy.
CumsInPies
I don't wanna fuck that guy. But I agree mescaline is pretty fun.
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
Too rare in the Norwegian mountains to have been spotted, I think. We've got some liberty cap guys and gals in the lower forests though.
lordstinkynuts
Liberty cap?
YourLittleBuddy
Mushrooms.
Afamouspersonmaybe
Hold up. Is there Mescaline in Norway?
lilskank
Likely locally synthesized or imported from elsewhere. IF I remember correctly, it's only "naturally" found in SW US/ Mexico.
Choreopithecus
San Pedro cactus in South America too. So named because San Pedro is the guy who meets you at the gates of heaven in Christian mythology.
BreadyStinellis
How have I never realized that Peter and Pedro are the same name?
lilskank
Could be wrong though. I'm probably going to Google it now just in case. I love drugs.
SanPedroLover
Mescaline is the best medicine
PatrickTrimble
Mescaline is awesome
dolphindreamsandsatan
As is peyote
powwerbottom
Due to the same active hallucinogen
dolphindreamsandsatan
Welp... That explains that! +1 for helping me learn something new. :-)
TheFrenchCanadianTaunter
How does it compare to shrooms or LSD?
powwerbottom
Yes, and I would add that the visuals are more organic in nature; less consistent patterns and more plant shapes
SanPedroLover
Easier to handle, it is very smooth & warm, gentle & loving. Very peaceful & blissful, full of euphoria. Makes you feel balanced & pure.
PatrickTrimble
Very welcoming in my experience. Intense but not scary
SanPedroLover
Very true. The cactus takes it easy on the psyche, teaches lessons & humbles the ego with out any mind-fuck or ego death. Very smooth.
escargotfuckyourself
Very similar to acid. More of a body high with some good visuals, none of the psychological stress of shrooms. GREAT to take in nature.
SanPedroLover
The best way to take cactus is when there will be nature involved, even if only in the backyard of a house. Being outside feel great on it.
Benhorn7
I thought Norwegians played Spot the Lost Heavy Metal group?
SW4GGY
No, we try to stay far away from them.
MemefoWars
Yea, that may be the case during winter. We play "spot the black/death metal"
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
They are not in the moutains but in the forest and groves closer to civilization.
Benhorn7
But do you play the game?
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
We all play the game
BeesechurgerProductions
sonofafuckingbitchilostthegame...
Kregular365
Spot the german is an old game played by norwegians back in 1940+ (too soon?)
dolphindreamsandsatan
Niiice.....
SW4GGY
It's never too soon
NineThousandAndOne
1940 is 77 years ago, no it’s not too soon :)
ZAPZAPMOTHAFUCKA
Never too soon for Nazi Killing/Jokes
monkeyscout
sentientseven
The neighbours also like to play:
Jinx2680
The White Death
mrsatiainen
Exept he didnt hunt no nazis. Only russians
sentientseven
Same game, different pawns.
biggreencow
https://68.media.tumblr.com/980061a7be4e79aae4aa28154ff84a2b/tumblr_nilva04SNe1s81gzyo1_500.png
12345six
Why should this be a joke
CoderWithoutCaffeine
Did you missed ww2 history lessons?
Kregular365
Why Not?
Skittleballs
In 1945, it was replaced by the game “spot the women who've banged Germans and shave their heads“
METAAAAAAAAAL
We had that in Denmark too
Bassaker
Hair grows back, good memories stay.
MistressLyda
And their children was taken.
MYNAMEISBOILER
GOOD MEMORIES STAY!
Bassaker
That's sad, but having an occupying force in my land right now i can understand where that comes from.
Th1ng
what am I if I wear a fjallraven jacket and timberland boots? apart from hipster I mean
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
My first though would be that it's the first time you're hiking outside a trail made of concrete. Nationality unknown.
Th1ng
you could have sugercoated that one, you know... :|
goandneverdarkenmytowelsagain
Sorry! I'm sure you're a swell guy or gal! And you're looking hella fine in that jacket and those boots.
iamthisguy247
That's awful. You let her wear crocs?
spanky11
Did you just assume their gender?!?!
unnecessaryredarrows
I just had to tell my 40yr old friend not to wear crocs in front of his new girlfriend. I'm a good friend.
StaleGale
I was anti croc till I had a child. Best summer shoe for a toddler EVER.
iamthisguy247
*fingers in ears* IM NOT LISTENING, LA LA LA LA!
bjorklund
Crocs, as hideous as they are, be comfy as fuck
invalidredditor
No laces, no straps, they rock
heeziedoesit
Yeah, fuck that guy.
Reelthreat
Did you just assume the 5 year olds gender?
iamthisguy247
Well did you assume that I assumed the gender based on my choice of pronoun. Maybe it's a boy and she's lovely.
Reelthreat
Well shit, I was trying to be sarcastic then you drop this heavy shit on me...
whatyouknowaboutthemtexasboys
Did you just assume this child's gender based on the the toy they play with?!?! Shame shame shame.
iamthisguy247
I suppose I did.
MacMorth
You're mistaken, it has to be a boy - it says Barbie was naked!
whatyouknowaboutthemtexasboys
There really is no shame in your game. I'm just trolling :)
JasonHaugen
Did you just assume its gender?
iamthisguy247
No the main assumption I made was that the Barbie was wearing crocs too. That's the "she" I was referring to.
JasonHaugen
That was Ken in drag, come on sheeple!
ionlycommentwithgifsandpics
Wow... you really can't understabd sarcasm can you?
iamthisguy247
Dude I was joking too.
ionlycommentwithgifsandpics
K sorry
IronMarla
Crocs are cheap as fuck and kids don't care about wearing decent shoes. :)
ITalkAboutGoats
They aren't cheap. Maybe the off brands, but crocs are expensive as fuck.
ballpeenX
Also comfortable and easy to clean.
IronMarla
Enh, easy to clean for sure, but they're only comfortable if you don't have to walk on them all day.
iamthisguy247
It's not about what they care. I'd die a little inside if my kids wore them. There are other cheap/cheaper options.
FragileReality
Ol, wait until you get a toddler that loves to be outside. Flops trip them up and sock and shoes are for weenies (*Floridian*)
iamthisguy247
I have had two toddlers manage without crocs.
IronMarla
Oh, I agree. My Dad wears them! ...but then again, they're blazing orange and they float, and he boats often.
IronMarla
I find them acceptable as 'don't fuck up my nice shoes' alternatives, and kids are forever fucking up their nice shoes.
iamthisguy247
TBH don't know why I hate them so much, and I acknowledge it's very pretentious, but my hate is too blind to accept that they are functional
Sammyv17
Imagining your dad walking on water wearing Crocs.
IronMarla
I have already seen him watercroccing. It's like waterskiing, but you just do it in your crocs because you're drunk. :)