atchiMovieLord
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May 24, 2020 4:00 AM
atchiMovieLord
140355
3491
53
SpiderTrike2000
Voldemort Potter. Your true grandfather...
harryspotter
I'm a what?
ohthatsgangsta
Longbottom killed Voldetort
VillainVillain
Voldee killee himself
gooslinger
Why does artificially aged Elijah wood look like Jake gyllenhal
sauerteig
Ah. Isn't that Harrey Skywalker. (C) Disney
NotoriousDoubleDipper
Harry Potter Il, named after Kim Jong Il
[deleted]
[deleted]
doesntmatter
Whorcrux
zombywoof68
Hermione - "She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the Chosen One." Harry - "But I AM the Chosen One!"
Auvdas
*Smacks head*
TheInitiated
Named after Kim Yong Il
midnightbread
if he were real I think Harry Potter would be allowed to have some kind of ego
zerovanity59
It would be Harry Potter Jr. Not II. II is only used when when he is not the son of the original, e.g. grandson, nephew.
Phlynch
Neville killed Voldemort and stole all the XP.
RedKale
Kim Jong-il ?
epiclong1
No he didn’t #the wand did
papertiger09
If you're a potter fan and haven't watched A Very Potter Musical, I highly recommend it.
MabelandDipperPines
Albus Severus Potter, you were named after two of the most emotionally manipulative and negligent people in the wizarding world
atchiMovieLord
Still a better story than Twilight :P
gigas4neil
Why give your child a middle name is honor someone? why not just name them after that person? It kind of defeats the purpose.
BlackIC
He wanted to honor them both, but not enough to name two kids after them.
gigas4neil
haha
68people
What happened to potter with guns nailed to his hands. Wasnt that meant to be coming out?
atchiMovieLord
On Prime right now.
HerrBisch
Guns Akimbo? I can't see it on Prime.
68people
Me neither. Evening RUINED
Thereaper889
As a Jr. This hits harder cause i have had this convo with my dad and he pulled the im awesome bit lol
PaulNewmansGhost
Technically, if he was named Harry Potter II, then his name is actually "The Chamber of Secrets."
Seethreepeeoh
Ha ha. He fucked ur mom.
supervillainsevilmoustache
Yeah well Thereaper889 has been deeper in mom for longer than his dad ever has been or will be.
Bigcurly2000
I always thought it was weird that a man who'd been haunted by his own fame and parent's legacy would give his kids such loaded names
PicassoCT
People who hated boarding schools, still send there kids to boarding schools.. cultures can promote horrible things..
TwoBitGreaser
First I had to destroy his whorecrocs.
AttackoftheRobotMonkeys
this makes more sense than the movie
SurgioClemente
Cannot unhear. Thx I hate it
AdmiralAlbatross
My horcrux would be my Crocs too
PicassoCT
These boots are made for walking, and thats just what they will do, one of these days these boots are gonna walk allover you..
ShanghaisFamousLittleDublinDistrict
atchiMovieLord
But not before Molly destroyed his whore.
BlackCatCasper
Get away from my daughter you BITCH!
BenderRodriguz1010
While wearing crocs
Emulen
10 points to gryfflepuff
HeyOP
FrieloederGibsmedats
TwoBitGreaser
Straight out of the closet of secrets.
Jaymezians
Sirius Rubeus Potter, you were named after the two bravest men I ever knew. Who cared for me even when I was being an idiot.
EatPieLander
altho ... Harry *did* stay within range of a fellow Gryffindor who was rather fond of smacking her - or his! - friends as well as enemies.
Jaymezians
Ronald Granger Potter, you were named after two of the best friends I've ever known. She once smacked a bitch, it was awesome.
Kompi
This is now cannon. Let it be so *flutter claps and piriouetes*
Blackrain39
Does it go boom and shoot large projectiles?
Kompi
More like a whole lotta garbage
Blackrain39
Oh yeah, forgot about grapeshot.
Conser1
I wonder what kind of JKR was smoking that she decided that Harry would leave his kid with the initials ASP. So glad I didn't buy book 7.
HerrBisch
Because of... aspartic acid?
Conser1
Not sure if trolling, but asp as in the snake.
HerrBisch
Genuinely not trolling and still have no idea what you mean.
burrocafe
Same
Conser1
Harry's kid is named Albus Severus Potter. A.S.P. Asp is a snake and, in the potterverse, they tend to be seen as evil. Example: Nagini
KinkoTheGoblin
why do you expect harry tonknow every snake
MercEasy
Is this a real thing? I never finished Harry Potter after the goblet of fire.. asking for a friend?
IamfunatpartiesIknow
Go read the books!
ArthurPhillipDent
He names him after Snape and dumbledore. If you want to know why. Finish reading
doesntmatter
It's cuz they banged
Ifyouthinkimseriousyoumissedthejoke
Because Snape killed dumbledore but he was dying anyway.
Ifyouthinkimseriousyoumissedthejoke
Bit late to get pissy about spoilers guys... Its been years... I did my waiting. 12 years of it in Azkaban!!
Strangeshrimp
Snape killed all the Wessley’s and Dumbledore, and Potter finally realized they were just holding him back
Ifyouthinkimseriousyoumissedthejoke
One of these things needs some veritaserum. My thing doesn't.
LaPazDeNixon
You did the right thing, there is a world of brilliant and important fiction out there, you don't need to read children's books.
MercEasy
Ooh you took a hit, but I appreciate the fact you took a stand
baasderbazen
So which brilliant and important stories are you suggesting?
GeneralRath
Name of the Wind and Gideon the Ninth. Pretty broad range between the two.
LaPazDeNixon
Age appropriate is a good place to start I'd say, children's books are written to suit their audiences developmental state.
LaPazDeNixon
That said, the Bible, Crime and Punishment, Catch 22 and Lord of the flies popped into my head as particularly interesting.
HannahJadeOnly
Sounds like a grade 8 summer reading list of cliche books, for a class everyone hated, taught by a teacher who was a pompous ass.
malaroo
Wow, it's like the concept of bad taste and pseudo-mature thinking congealed into a human. C.S. Lewis has a good quote about goons like you.
ChrisHemsworthsBulge
The scene is, not the subtitles though
Sayagain
Would be the best ending ever if that was actually the line
GriffinMann41
Nah. Sadly, for some reason he gives his kids the worst names ever, and names one of them after his salty highschool teacher-bully.
MithridateEupator
He's a natural submissive, he loved the abuse.
Colopty
At least he didn't name one of them X Æ A-12 Potter
ChrisHemsworthsBulge
God he's such a pretentious prick for name his kid that
Sayagain
Sounds like the name of the next battery they will put out, pronounced Kyle battery
Varderal
I read that as "Harry Potter 2" not "Jerry Potter the Second". XD
balmut
Full name: Harry Potter 2 and the Chamber of Secrets
atchiMovieLord
Gold
Easykehl
Harry Potter II refers to his colon as ‘the chamber of secrets’.
frankthetankftw
Bruh, I totally read it as Harry Potter 2 ?. Yo, imagine this MF callin his kid Harry Potter 2 his whole life. I'm dying
HonestCommentFarmer
Harry Potter 2: Wizard Harder
DefinitelyNotMadeOfBees
Jerry Potter: "And WHAT'S the deal with Slytherin?!"
proracing53
ABoxOfToast
This comment deserves more up votes
sweetfeetpete
Little jherry!
Oultnil
TheePerfectComment
Wizards on brooms getting butter beer.
DrSpatula
*going up in ridiculously high pitch*
StarkRG
whatspaulplayingtoday
I hate this so much that i can't help but enjoy it.
lemmonjello
Who are all these little peeeeepole? Ya give em a sock and they disappear.
nipaxon
Imagine Jerry Seinfeld for the part of Harry Potter. If they'd make a parody i'd want Jerry for Harry Potter. Newman for Voldemort.
nipaxon
George as Ron and Elaine as Hermione.