Stories of a Professional Gas Pumper?

I've been seeing a lot of stuff about the new law allowing Oregonians to pump their own gas, and I've been working at a gas station for the past 4 months, as well I wanted to clear things up.

First off, self service is only allowed in counties with a population under 40,000 persons, and only between the hours of 6pm and 6am. If you come into my gas station and try to pump gas, you will be bitched at. It's still very much illegal for almost all of Oregon. You can do anything but touch the pump itself.

Second, this isn't necessarily new. Diesel has always been allowed to self serve, and motorcycles are allowed to to do everything other than take the pump out of it's holster (mainly so some tard doesn't pump gas onto the rider)

So how about some stories?

Even being the introvert I am, I quickly bonded with everyone out there. I work with shitty people, shitty weather, shitty everything and they make it bearable. They're some of the wisest people I've met, and care for each other like family. Unfortunately, none of them will likely be working there in another two years.

It's late at night, I'm tired, a tanker is dropping fuel, and we're understaffed. This woman pulls up on the very last pump, with the tanker on her opposite side and nobody is able to move up. I do as I normally do, and stand on the front pump waiting for them to move up. I wait and wave her forward with a smile. She nods no. I figure "Oh, she's waiting for diesel, she is driving an Audi." and hold up the diesel pump, pointing to it.

She violently nods no.

I'm figuring she's just being stupid so I start walking to her, and she starts screaming before I even reach her window.

"YOU ARE GOING TO PUMP MY DIESEL HERE!"

I'm like oh fug and try to be polite saying "Ma'am, I need you to move forward in case any customers pull up behind you." and she responds by saying "MY CAR STOPPED HERE! YOU ARE GOING TO SERVE ME HERE! FILL WITH DIESEL!"

I wasn't having any of her shit, so I take my sweet ass time punching in her cards, and give her the most sarcastic and drawn out "Happy Holidays!" I could when handing her cards back. Let her wait as long as possible before racking her up. Diesel is self serve, if you gonna be a baby you can do it yourself.

Technically, we can only send people off for using excess profanity or for being generally derogatory towards an employee, but there are exceptions. This kinda sucked because of some even suckier people.

It's the day before Christmas and we're understaffed (see a pattern?) and it's pouring even under the canopy. My coworkers are helping lanes 4 and 5, while I'm grabbing a drink inside the kiosk and talking to another coworker.

I make my way outside and begin helping lane 6. First car seems pissed but it's busy as heck, so it's understandable. I start helping the second car, take his rewards number and card, but the rewards number doesn't go through so I turn and say "Sir, the rewards number you gave me isn't going through, is there another I can try?"

He snaps yelling "JUST GIVE ME SOME GODDAMN FUEL!"

lol nah

I just hand him his cards back and say you're not getting any fuel with that attitude.

Aaaaaaand the coworker from lane 4 comes and begrudgingly helps him. Shoutout to unnamed coworker btw, that guy was MAD.

Like I said, highest turnover rate.

- Backing into the pump (going against the flow of traffic)

- Turning the wrong way to exit (going against the flow of traffic)

- Smoking (illegal and very stupid)

- Drinking (illegal and very stupid)

- Pumping their own gas (illegal)

- Racking themselves up (illegal)

- Topping themselves off (illegal)

Obviously, we've got responses to all of the above.

- Backing up to the pump? Tell them to turn around or leave, almost always leave

- Turning the wrong way? Watch them get blocked by a line of cars and do a 5 point turn.

- Smoking? Leave. Now.

- Drinking? Take everything slooooooow and call the cops.

- Pumping their own gas? Tell them it's illegal and take everything real slow.

- Racking themselves up? Yell that it's illegal or if they're angry yell "Come again soon!"

- Topping off? Take it to one penny over the dollar amount. They always want it to the next dollar, and we'll happily do it if the pump doesn't click off again first. Do it yourself? You paying that extra penny.

Don't know why people think it's okay to go 30 through a gas station, but they do.

For this promotion, we offered an extra 20 cents off of whatever discount you used, and this guy's discount came out to 35 cents off with his reward.

He comes out of his car STEAMING mad yelling how x minus x = 35, not 15, and he asked for 15.

I try telling him it was a promotion and he yelled "I DON'T CARE! I ASKED TO USE 15, NOT 35!"

I say again "Sir, this was a promotion, no extra points were used." and he keeps going off how it was supposed to 15 not 35.

He finally realizes that he used 15 cents and I gave him a FREE 20 cent discount, and walks back into his car.

Still hates me to this day, don't know why.

Mostly because I can't remember anything else right now. If this gets big I'll post more.