wisher1977
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https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/russias-putin-to-hand-over-keys-to-war-while-he-has-cancer-surgery-report/ar-AAWN94M?ocid=sapphireappshare
Meanwhile, I’m like…
trippingthelightfantastic
HeAmbledVaguelyEastwards
Maybe he's faking it to appear like a man with nothing to lose by going nuclear - but if he's healthy, he can stand trial for war crimes.
Edgarflaps
springelmogizmo
Jace99
Nothing he’s done in the past few months has made any sense. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s in his brain. I hope he dies in agony the POS.
NoItsATideUsername
Lindsey Graham just got moist
SpaceMarineWithAnUrgeToPurge
SirChadwellHeath
Just browsing old "surgeon" posts:
Lightsmith
Except his #2 is even more of a psycho.
MassiveMaoMao
I mean fuck cancer, but also like…go cancer on this one.
LaCroixJenkins
I think this might be a "HEY.. the other guy nuked Ukraine while I was in surgery...blame him" type of hustle
PaddyPatrick
Oh, please Vlad, put it off for a year or two, lest your countrymen will know you have a tiny tiny tiny itty bitty wee little pee pee penis.
LogicDude
"But I was in the hospital & it was my Deputy that launched that nuke at Kiev! I'll punish him." It's all about deniability folks.
AngryQueefNoises
Let putler die. Hopefully they do the anesthesia wrong, he wakes up, surgeon cuts wrong thing, he ded. Lmao I can dream.
zenoshogun
Putin: and if I lend you the war for the weekend, no taking it on joyrides.
IgnorantSap
jonassoe
His substitute won't necessarily be better than him.
2B4U
From Putin to Patrushev…. Could this be a case of falling out the frying pan into the fire ?
Targe0
Possibly.
Ikwilstroopwaffels
Unless that fire magically conjures up 250k or so combat effective troops... no, not really.
3141592pancake
Huh, maybe it's metastasized? He allegedly had been treated by thyroid cancer specialist. Wtf is "not urgent can't be delayed?" PR speak?
PicassoCT
It's over for someone absolute who can't handle absolutes.. 5 stages of grief end at negotiations with a dictator
iusedtodream
Hope the surgeon slips.
Targe0
That would likely get their family and them killed.
genida
Maybe they can flee to America and join a office supply company. It has worked before.
Targe0
If he goes under the knife it will only be after they are in custody. That's how dictators ensure they don't get killed on the table.
Venfolnir
Arenlor
I was thinking of Chase.
VeryLongTimeLurker
ElderLurkerInNeedOfaCane
5/7 reference
KennyBlankenshipandVicRomano
But, MISTAKE!
CorneliusTunt
YouTubeRed
+1 ?
graehall
Perfect reference!
Snooj
We're all thinking it.
amundost
I good surgeon, the best...
thebloody
TinyRavenFeathers
ValidGirthCertificate
Exactly what i thought after reading the title
Isometimestakethingsliterally
Not the Hide we deserve. But the Hide we need.
ILDL
da best!
StarmineRendezvous
I was hoping this would be here. Bravo!
AtlasFoodDeliverySystem
OnyxTurret
Only the best for Putin!
FreshBundleOfStick
I love that you wish for him to get the best surgeon who never makes mistake. Very wholesome.
VeryLongTimeLurker
Yes, exactly that!
Whitebeardthepirate
this was my first thought
Gastroboi
Same lol
pritolus
Mine too
GBMaker
Sooo... Putin's a stooge? It was really Patrushev that caused this war? Shocking!
ZettaiDullahan
I suspected that he started this as a final desperate attempt at a legacy before he died.
GBMaker
It would seem the idea to start now, and where to start, came from Nikolai Patrushev.
SteveMND
Reminder: this comes from an anonymous 'Kremlin insider' from a Russian Telegram account via England's sensationalist tabloid, the Daily >
SteveMND
< Mail. I'm not saying it's inaccurate, but (especially in war), I'm not going to take this at face value. We'll see what REALLY happens.
FudgeWeasel
I'm not saying it's inaccurate, but the Daily Mail only ever prints the truth by accident, never on purpose.
mikenco
The Daily 'Fail' is a comic for children who grew older. It's not serious journalism.
ILeftMyUsernameInMyOtherPants
Exactly. We'd all like for it to be true, and rumours have been in play for a while, but until a reputable source reports it, pass the salt.
Targe0
Yeah that's how I have felt about all the health issue rumors around Putin. He might well be sick but Propaganda is rampant.
CriminallyMysophobic
he best hope his surgeons are better than his military
Targe0
The Surgeons family best hope they are. As they will likely be held as insurance.
Tyrann01
Not far off from how Stalin died.
Muunk
No, no we don't, actually.
rick2g
His best hope, not ours.
TonnerreCadien
Here's hoping they're just as skilled as his military.
qweesdy
You want Putin to be replaced by someone that's probably even worse? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Patrushev
Raxiel
Would he command the same support as Vlad though?
ChainmailleAddict
Worse than someone threatening WW3 constantly and invading Ukraine despite their PLEAS for peace? I'll roll the dice.
Jace99
This would be the perfect time for a coup. This war is insane. He’s fk’d Russia completely. His commander doesn’t have the loyalty Putin has
Mithi
Well, who said anything of letting #2 live= Or #10, or ...
TonnerreCadien
Friends of mine are European diplomats in Russia. They, like you, have drunk the Kool-Aid that he's the best Russia has to offer.
TonnerreCadien
I refuse to believe that.
qweesdy
Putin is a deluded egotistical bag of festering pus. Do you want someone even worse running Russia?
TonnerreCadien
No, I do not. But Putin is finished. There's no way he can keep the lid on this much longer.
cosinewave
The surgeon's family is probably going to be detained until the operation is successful.
LongtimeLurkerFirsTimePoster
Lest they get sudden onset lead poisoning.
PicassoCT
All the good doctors are dead..
CaptnVatka
All the family members of every member of the surgical team.
michaelpaice2
My thoughts exactly!
PictureArchiver
The problem with any surgery is that you can do everything right and you still have negative consequences.
rauldavid
For their own safety of course
BisonMooseDuck
Of course. Russia has very dangerous windows and balconies, better keep them safe with FSB “safety” agents.
keyblader1985
Was gonna say exactly this. They will definitely take measures to ensure that the operators will behave themselves.
CommanderShitFace
The greatest in history have sacrificed the most for the most...
insomniac24x7
I’m thinking this his out. He will be pronounced dead but will live out his days in his secret compound. It’s huge
kaytwit
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DT_tFSWZXKN0&ved=2ahUKEwif84-n6b73AhXcJTQIHY8dD64QwqsB
TheWombatStrikesAgain
What would stop his successor from just handing him over to The Hague? A scapegoat would be very helpful in getting the sanctions lifted.
PicassoCT
A old tradition of sparing the predecessor in case you become it
VeryLongTimeLurker
am sure he knows too much to be left alive
DocJungleRot
I bet it's in a trump owned property
insomniac24x7
No he has a compound. Like almost a small town. Where else can someone like Putin live without being touched
insomniac24x7
Navalny did a whole documentary on this. Not sure if there is one on English but you can subtitle
SarcasticComment
Ehhh... my family might be worth taking out a dictatorship. Family dinners have gone flat.
silentwolf1999
Moms spaghetti ain't what it used to be.
schlockchurch
Right? Plus the kids have gotten really annoying. Little bastards.
SarcasticComment
Keep costing money. The little devils.
schlockchurch
*thinking of the children* ... *botches Putin's surgery*
SarcasticComment
*that will teach them to leave a ring on my antique coffee table! I keep telling the little shits about coasters!*
SirButcher
Sadly, killing Putin wouldn't necessarily take out the whole regime...
SarcasticComment
It's a start.
NKato
The problem is the dude he picked to keep the war going. He's literally the one who put the idea in Putin's head.
SentientSpork
Yeah but he obviously doesn't have whatever charisma Putin uses to drag everyone else along.
SarcasticComment
Still isn't the last 15+ years of shirtless horse riding propaganda.
YoungBlood401
Exit strategy. End war, blame the other guy for it and the losses.
WhatzitTooya
Lol, no, not this guy.
fformulaa
He could fake his own death and run but i think he's too egotistical for that
WhatzitTooya
Seems hard to make somebody like him disappear. So many people who know his face, and so many who dont really like him...
fformulaa
Karadžić from the Bosnian war hid for a decade before they found him & Putin has many friends that would help this genocidal maniac
[deleted]
[deleted]
Cresset
It's called hierarchy, armies don't just pack up and go home if one guy dies.
Ikwilstroopwaffels
Germany's kinda did....
SilverNicktail
By the time he died their army was already destroyed.
MarkySpaceMagnet
Not really, Germany was already losing, badly.
Ikwilstroopwaffels
You mean... like Russia?
ThisIsAWasteOfMyTime
It's a bit different when "the one guy that died" died because enemy troops took over your capital (along with everything else)
Ikwilstroopwaffels
Sounds like a plan to me. Fuck Moscow. Fuck Russia.
ThisIsAWasteOfMyTime
I'm downvoted for saying that if Putin died on operating table, it'd be a bit different than when Hitler killed himself to avoid capture...?
TurdBurglar3000
Strange how no reputable news source has reported on this.
IAmDrBanner
Personally I believe it is a false flag from the "insider".
ChainmailleAddict
Yeah seriously, I DESPERATELY want this to be true but you can't in good faith condone fake news
Harryteeters
Tabloids were the only source I could find for this story
Hannah1986
Aye, as soon as I saw Daily Mail I went from "did I miss something" to "90% chance of fake" due to their ... previous actions
ILeftMyUsernameInMyOtherPants
It's a rag.
parkerh17
Unfortunately that is the best you can hope for when it comes to speculating on state secrets of authoritarian regimes. They hardly>
parkerh17
Want the info to be public if it is true. And big news media's generally don't like to speculate based on unconfirmable leaks. I mean>
parkerh17
Look how silly everyone ended up looking speculating the NK dictator was dead. That being said, while the report is questionable,>
parkerh17
Supporting clips and pics showing his appearance changes, behavior changes, and often times where he appears to be struggling with some>
parkerh17
Form of illness all add to the idea that he at least has something going on.
TheChunguskaEvent
"the Daily Mail reports"
RickRollable
Shame it's not true then. Pity
ratfaceddog
Yeah, I’m sure Putin is totally convinced of that.
desolatorx
It's like an oxymoron.
DewiMorgan
Yeah, I was like "looks like an Onion article", then realized it wasn't from such a reliable source.
dundeeisdrunk
I like your comment but you’re on 69 upvotes and I’m not screwing that up
Bystandr
Hey it clearly says that it is "KNEWZ"
RickRollable
PHAYK KNEWZ
johnvictor
Bird cage liner.
ChloeRed
You don't like birds?
johnvictor
It's only toxic if you can read it. I don't think birds can so it's safe for them.
ChloeRed
You still have to buy it to use it like that. If you are buying that, are you getting the right food for the birds, etc ;)
johnvictor
Good point. Let me check....Huh, what's arsenic?