MyArmKindaHurts
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#RIP
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I would watch this
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This is true. I am a certified pun™ master
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Last one: https://imgur.com/a/d38Yz
Next one: https://imgur.com/a/Zf3iU
FP edit: fuck yeah
Send me stuff, tits, stories, memes etc……
Biccolo
#29 no matter what order you read that, it's still messed up
HermanManly
"I can't stop laughing help" https://ak4.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/14976214/thumb/1.jpg
Davinel
... my sweetest friend
SithShodan
Why are the O's on some of these posts filled with a pinkish background? Or am I just going crazy *-*
SammyMantis88
Number 4 fucking Nickelback video I think...
Koldfront
#27 throwback to when Kelly Rowland tried to text Nelly using an excel spreadsheet
spacewarp
Why on earth are two O's in #2 filled in with pink?
griffonsgalore
I've noticed this on several posts today... strange.
thegammaghost
made me feel uncomfortable
Mattapotamus
Why does #2 have pink in the letter "O"? (This is why I lose sleep, things like this)
Botarel
Father ..... I learned something today. Let me tell you about it .....
borfest28
That flip phone with the full qwerty keyboard was legit af
PartyMagician
#8 West of Loathing has Gumption, Grit, Glamour, Moxie, Mysticality and Muscle. Not quite there but close enough
KnuxTenma
Kingdom of Loathing, the browser-based RPG they made before West, had most of those as substats of Moxie, as well.
fartboxtonguepunch
i guess thatsa why mrs weasley smiled alot
cheeseguy3412
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpY3ggKAPIE
MyArmKindaHurts
https://media.giphy.com/media/v1xj1xo2zHz1u/giphy.gif
PoodyCZ
#7 "The Gray Cowl is now yours. You are the new guildmaster of the Thieves Guild." - the owner probably
Optimushroom
#24 missed a great chance to call them a punlimited resource
LaBotte
#27 you forgot texting with MS Excel on a cell phone !
LaBotte
https://www.funx.nl/images/2016/11/27_63_kellynelly.jpg
somethingdark
#8 sounds like you want to play as a bard
riicochet
#23 killed me, like utterly broke me... we need this movie
samsonguy920
What makes it better is Disney can do it with no shat giveth.
1deejay
http://m.imdb.com/title/tt5848272/?ref=m_nv_sr_4
MaSu10
Return here, please carts
arcturox
#9 WRONG. ALL STAR CAME OUT MAY 4TH 1999, BATTLE FOR HOGWARTS WAS ON MAY 2ND 1998. GET YOUR SMASH MOUTH LORE STRAIGHT.
spectrebliss
These are incredible
SexySquatch
#1 GRAVITY EXISTS OMG IM LITERALLY DYING I CANT EVEN.
rossdaboss63
I love how the second person just literally described what a drop kick is and were blown away by it.
bigbrother
also his kinetic energy was dumped into that kick against a robot and truck.
DisguisedLizardThing
#16 Me fail English? That's unpossible!
DeepwaterJew
+1 Chutzpah
EveryUsernameIsTaken4
tumblr is so funny im dying
Fallowblade
Long penis... Or a short vagina?
MidgetRacer8192
or just a little late on the pullout.
MyArmKindaHurts
https://media.giphy.com/media/gcjmXVppGVhKw/giphy.gif
FerricGuy
#3 would be intelligible if trees shed their bark instead of their leaves.
GuardsmanMiku
yeh, just shedding leaves would probably be like just loosing skin without all the internal stuff... i guess...
KeeleonOhms
Hair is people leaves.
amglasgow
Some trees do shed their bark regularly, notably shagbark hickory and anything in the sycamore family.
YouAreSomeonesFetish
Eucalyptus trees shed their bark..... just saying
jimmyhowlett
What if we lost all of our hair every Autumn?
coffeebugtravels
That's what I would have said. Of course growing that back would be a nightmare as any woman can tell you!
Akurei00
As opposed to growing all of our flesh back. Or maybe we're all just skin and bones
coffeebugtravels
But if we lost all of our skin, we'd probably die. Skin ALL the bark off a tree and it will die.
Akurei00
It could be more like snake skin. Shed it but there's still fresh baby skin underneath
PwnageHobo
#22 should use "shat" as the past tense of "shit"
pjruss
Shatted?
johnzaku
"This author would not consider the reader shat"
MyArmKindaHurts
https://media.giphy.com/media/xieuDEXX78OYw/giphy.gif
ImAChiquitaBanana
Also "considered" is unnecessary.
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
That's a participle not a past tense. Usually presents in i have pasts in a and participles in u: drink-drank-drunk, shit-shat-shut
skooterLaughin
The ocean called...
TastyBrainMeats
That's odd. Usually it just waves.
PwnageHobo
Fair call
Medwards86
As the father of a son, i can confirm that last one is bullshit.
BearBombs
Maybe she just has a short vaginal canal?
ArvisJaggamar
I have no children and can confirm the same thing.
Dreigiau
#32
rainbowcoloredpoop
One example does not a rule make.
chrisdafish
And it takes multiple sperm to be able to breach and enter
Happinessfarmer72
Ditto. I have three... boys and inches
PopatoRipples
Unlucky
HansVerhaegen
"I'm more of a middle man myself."
WowWhatAWhore
It says "higher chance" not definite outcome.
AleksanderLehti
I think you meant "definite outcum"
BooksBooksBooksBooksBooks
Boy sperms are lighter because the Y chomosome is smaller than the X. But faster? Maybe. Most human sperms are deformed (two heads, too many
BooksBooksBooksBooksBooks
Tails, etc) so they don't swim well at all. We as a species go for quantity over quality of sperm. So even if it's lighter, a derp sperm isn
BooksBooksBooksBooksBooks
Isn't impregnating anything.
griffonsgalore
Ha - derp sperm.
APackOfExcitedGingers
Just to be clear, I assume that "female sperm" is the egg. Either that or I have been seriously lied to about the reproductive cycle.
griffonsgalore
Female sperm: XX and Male sperm: XY Men have both female XX and male XY sperm when they ejaculate.
briunit010
Female sperm I assume is referring to a sperm with an X chromosome instead of a Y
jdelossantos1494
The sperm is what decides the gender of the baby
APackOfExcitedGingers
Ohhhhh lol. Totally read that wrong. Please ignore my extreme derping.
cantbeasadmuffin
Lord save this child
MrTroysWildRide
I have a daughter and her father is hung like a horse. The speed part is true though. Girls live longer, boys are faster. So if you're 1/2
beedude
Does he go "neigh"?
MrTroysWildRide
Trying for a girl, best time to bang is the day before ovulation, or the day of. 2/2
itsybitsyspider
My family tends to have girls. I hope to break that trend with a boy
HERODMasta
I think you mean vice versa? guys have to run up that egg one day before/ same day? and females have to stay 2-3 days there?
griffonsgalore
Yep. It's not 100%, but if you want a girl, have sex 2-3 days before she ovulates. A boy, the day of. 1/2
griffonsgalore
Girls are slower & last longer, boys are faster & fizzle out quick. 2/2 (Next comment is bonus because it's an awesome fact)
HERODMasta
question marks, cause i am not a biologist and though sperm lives like 2-4 days
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
NightfallEverdark
Paranoia has a stat for Chutzpah.
angelicyokai
Upvoting for KoL
JonestownClassPresident
Dot
krozzus
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thefuzziestnipplesever
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Norok0311
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VivoImago
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321am
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shiftingillusion
Beat me to it
Communinja
Well those are all the same stat...
skooterLaughin
Paranoia (tabletop) has chutzpah and moxie.
MooseThings
Disco Bandits for the win
daddy6969
.
SifrNihilum
And it is so freaking good...
1reland
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AbusedPickle
Ima put this here
FallingStar7669
The Fate system would probably allow it as well.
RedWizard56
.
OhThatCheddarBob
.
humptyblargh
Amber, a diceless rpg based on the work of Robert Zelazny, roughly fits for tabletop.
velriq
.
HolyLemons
Oh my god the nostalgia
randomasduck
i was going to post the exact same thing!
ImAChiquitaBanana
I was thinking that, too. Been playing KoL for like, 10 years? 11? Serious replayability.
MayorDeweyMayorDewey
.
YouTasteDifferentWhenYouAreAwake
I fucking love you sir. Also your name made me think you were pickle rick for a second. You are now officially my spirit animal.
radmelon
It's also fairly similar to the stats used in SBURB, and there's probably a half-decent tabletop version made by fans somewhere.
vwyx
I was just about to say that Jane had maxxed all of these except a certain je ne sais quoi and the cut of your jib, which Roxy and Dirk have
Nightcaste
What is SBURB?
CATShesaideventuallyCATSARENICE
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NobleRow
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muerte175
That was my first thought.
Lizzu
..
OneCoolFrood
But gumption, chutzpah, and moxie are all the same thing. How do you know which to max?
shiftingillusion
MAX THEM ALL
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
Guess you gotta play the game to find out. I never played Disco Bandit or Accordian Thief. Pastamancer and Saucerer all the way.
grapesforducks
In KoL, it's always a moxie point, but it'll refer to them by those three terms interchangeably as you gain towards the moxie points
Argram
All creds to Pastamancers. But how do you live without advanced coctailcrafting?
SexualTowardsFood
I was a turtle tamer.
DonutPolice
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lurkmoarjono
accordion thief!
EdOnReddit
Most useless class to start as. Just go Seal Clubber- its easy and fun!
lurkmoarjono
oh my main was an accordion thief, i had 2 mancers, saucerors, and a clubber and a tamer as multis back in the day. Was part of the clan TUD
EdOnReddit
That's the thing with the game now. I had multi's, but I got into speed running, and was spending 6-8 hrs a day just to do my turns.
Qualtagh
Also Hiveswap
Dartacus
Not sure if it's related, but West of Loathing is an RPG on steam that has most of these. I'm fairly certain it's by the same folks
RandomIsotope
You are correct sir!
DonnaNobleInTheLibrary
Is it good?
Dartacus
Suuuuuper good if you like dumb humor
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
Great game. Cheap. Made by the same people, but it's got different mechanics and is not an MMO. It was a pleasure to beat. Hilarious.
SexualTowardsFood
I played kingdom of loathing way back in like 3rd or 4th grade. I'm 23 now. Is West of Loathing any good?
Dartacus
It's super good, really goofy with lots of ways to play
SexualTowardsFood
I'm going download when I get home and try it. Thanks! :-)
CliffordJohnsonMiller
And moxie is a stat in it. So it'd satisfy that dude a little, probably.
Fushelama
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MrA007
Thanks for the tip
BlueDsc
Same guys and it's just as fucking hilarious.
jimwormmaster
Yep! Not only does it have moxie, but also gumption! KoL has moxie, with exp gains like "You gain X chutzpah", smarm, etc. Both are great.
suqreme
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LastElf
Can confirm, same guys
Dartacus
Thanks!
CapableTrash
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Dartacus
An accurate response from thelurkerinthecorner