Mom text dump

May 14, 2017 11:08 AM

guacahoele

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334873

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7605

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296

#funny #mothers_day #moms #cats #text

Happy Mother's Day.

EDIT: wow thanks for front page, hope all your mothers, single fathers, guardian like siblings, cousins or family members have a great fuckin day.

My son still calls me dada. Can't wait for him to finally call me mom and then instantly regret it.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This was good, take your upvote!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

#12 they're both the mom?

9 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 1

I thought the mom was calling herself the best mom ever

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

doesn't your phone learn the words you type in? like dick and dildo aren't known words unless you type them in there enough?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

my phone autocorrects shit to shut.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"You aren't funny you never make any jokes" "I made you" v

9 years ago | Likes 153 Dislikes 2

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

"Let me hide the body."

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I like how they censored shit but not nigga.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

All offensive words end with letter r.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

boner

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I just scrolled down to see the cats

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Some of these are so fake :(

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

v

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

To be fair, your dick will explode if you shake everywhere too

9 years ago | Likes 200 Dislikes 2

You underestimate my power

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How do I know if I don't try.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Holy shit! You weren't joking, it totally works!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A lot of these were weirdly incestuous

9 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 0

Yeah the fake ones were pretty cringey

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 3

#12 is so fake. Look at the name. I'm not saying all the others aren't fake which they probably are

9 years ago | Likes 61 Dislikes 3

They're probably 99% lies. And not even funny.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Scrubs is fake, but that doesn't stop it from being funny.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 5

If this was a post about Scrubs, it would be funny. Sadly, it is neither.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

A shame about 3 of them are real and the rest are fake or photoshopped.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My mom texted me something sweet then said she couldn't find the emojis so I had to use my imagination.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My mom used to keep the Christmas tree up til February and I can't understand it now cause those things can catch on fire and burn

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

so so so fast once they get dry enough.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Thank god they censored anything offensive

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Momma cat has that look of I should have eaten you when I had the chance.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

"Let me hide the body." No questions asked. The Mom is strong with that one.

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 2

The censorship on #6 infuriates me

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

boner

9 years ago | Likes 137 Dislikes 3

boner Amanda

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Boner

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Bone her

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

boner

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

The heck.. ..

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Motherfucker's got a drinking fountain dick. Bear Grylls would kill for that.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I ignored the text and scrolled all the way to the bottom to get kittens, I am not sorry.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is there any evidence in any way that any of these are real

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"You don't run the Google?"....love it

9 years ago | Likes 521 Dislikes 2

Reminds me of my grandparents.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Scrolled all the way down once I saw that one because I knew this would be top comment.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Yes because it's real.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 21

You must not have people in your life if you think it's fake.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

Of course I don't. Jen has that position, she got that job when she recieved the internet.

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Actually Timmy turner owns the internet. He inherited it.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'm sure these totally happened

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 2

Most are so obvious, they aren't having natural conversations. Why would you just tell someone not to shake their drink? Fake news.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Yeah...what a coincidence all use an iPhone...

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

.. " all of them"?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Thats great, mom" nerdy teen's way of saying "cool story bro" to their mom. See also "thats nice dear"

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

what mother doesnt know bohemian rhapsody and is old enough to have a kid that knows it?

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 2

Exactly.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I can guarantee if I quote Bohemian Rhapsody to my parents, they'll think something really bad happened.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just because I was born in the 70s does not mean I know every pop hit from the 80s and 90s.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Nvm I'm dumb

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

exactly

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why does it say mom at the top even when we see the moms side of the convo for some?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Took you this long to figure it out? At best maybe 2 of these are real

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It was more for sweet sweet upvotes than to actually point out a flaw

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My mom doesnt text :( even if you text her, shell still call you

9 years ago | Likes 412 Dislikes 2

My mom's Deaf so she learned pretty quick how to text because she can't call. She's really good at it now

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My mom doesn't cuss in person but I have found out she cusses a shit ton while texting.

9 years ago | Likes 123 Dislikes 0

My mom texts, then calls before you finish sending a reply

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

My grandad sends me facebook messages that say "Like" when I make a status he likes

9 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

My dad will text but then we have to call him to decipher his text messages and made up short hand

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

She wants to hear your voice.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

"It's because you touch yourself at night!"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

DidYouTryShowingHerHowToDoASpace?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Good for her! Stupid emotionless texts to talk to your own mother! Let her her your voice and the tone that tells her how much you love her!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Cool! What's her number!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yup, same here amigo. She says its because it takes longer to her to write the texts than to actually say what she wants.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Mine figured out how to send me all the spam memes she used to send via email as texts. I'll have to block her to avoid going over data soon

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My mother-in-law always turns off her cell phone unless she's at home. She doesn't use it there, though, because they have a landline.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why the fuck would a mother ground you for finding a condom? She should be glad that you're being careful.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 2

I'd assume because you did the dirty under her roof and couldn't be bothered to clean up after yourself.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Okay, if it's for not cleaning up I understand it a bit. Although, imo, a simple order to clean it up would be enough. At first.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

ikr. and if youre old enough to be using condoms then youre too old to be getting grounded!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

You don't have to be 18 to have sex.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

"No matter how big you are, if you can fit over my knee you can be punished."

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1