Twitter Schmitter... I'm hung over as f#$%.

Aug 30, 2014 11:45 PM

New ones because I love you.

http://imgur.com/gallery/KlhzD
http://imgur.com/gallery/UxM4q

The last few...

http://imgur.com/gallery/gree5
http://imgur.com/gallery/ZdBcc
http://imgur.com/gallery/F2ESj

Cat Damon... sounds like someone who would rule imgur with a fluffy fist of death

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

And I am warming up to you too.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

*giggles and kicks dirt with toe*

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Imgur Schmimgur... I'm drunk as fook.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

the girl number eating i used to do when i worked at a bar if i didnt like them

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

For the funeral: the "going down a tunnel" tune should play while he's being lowered. Then, when buried, underground theme (muffled).

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

http://imgur.com/LMcGZZ5 lost it a 4am

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

so.many.lols

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Mario funeral person forgot to tell the people to make sure to include the "Glunkglunkglunk" noise of going down the pipe for the transition

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Actually pretty good

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Wait a second. A 12 year old would have been born in 2002, which is still 2002 backwards. That dyslexic man knew exactly what he was doing.

11 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

damn you just changed the game, I'm impressed you took the time to think that through, cuz now this comment +the original tweet = funnier

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

NOT ANYMORE! He thinks they're from the futuristic year of 3002.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You just totally ruined the joke. +1

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

that sausage party one though

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"BOOM PREGNANT" Dammit, I'm already on my fourth kid probably never going to get to use this accurately.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This post tricked me into listening to Nickelback.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

same

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

sort of worth it though https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Etqb5PSUrg

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You made me look up a Nickelback song. You monster.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Imgur is why I don't need to wade thru all the bullshit of Twitter to get to the gold. Take my +1.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

A moment of silence please for our dear pie. Whose remains were disrespectfully splattered on a face instead of being honorably eaten.

11 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 3

I've always found the best way to say Benedict Cumberbatch is to the tune of 'Another One Bites the Dust'.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Random thoughts from Tumblr are amusing, but Twitter has professional-grade comedy. Some of this stuff is brilliant.

11 years ago | Likes 79 Dislikes 2

what's funny is people on here stomp on tumblr, but if you stray too far into twitter it can actually be just as terrible

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

A lot of these people are professional comedians. On Tumblr, it's a bunch of moody 14 year olds who just say "omg literally died".

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Honestly, I just prefer the correct spelling on these as opposed to Tumblr's "all caps + lack of punctuation by design".

11 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

"If you're still confused about chatspeak in 2014 you don't deserve to be on that high horse." a tumblr post

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

By spelling ur instead of you're you will save about 4.25 hours a year. 7 to 20 thousand word spoken a day less than 1/4 is written, 1/2

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

you're is written about 42 times a day for a woman. 42 x 365 = 15330 seconds saved = 4.25 hours 2/2

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But they are spending that extra time and more explaining to the elderly that ur = both you're and your.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The party at 11:00 hit too close to home, ouch!

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Close, but I wouldn't have even been about to leave before I realized this.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As someone that works in a grocery store, the "Sorry I'm late, I asked an elderly person how their day was" is just too damn true

11 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 3

In my experience,it's not necessary to ask, they will tell you anyway.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Trump: I'm an activities director in a nursing home. Some days, it is literally 8 hours of asking and listening. But... They like it. So :)

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Waitress at popular old-person restaurant here, can confirm.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Elmer's, Hometown Buffet, or Denny's?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

why not Golden Corral?

11 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Woh, Lindsey. That was uncalled for.

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Pretty badcore.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Definitely the most cruel!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Let ought a childish laugh on the benedict cumberbatch one

11 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 3

how does one misspell out

11 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

how the fuck did I do that

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

dat some twilight zone shit mang

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

you out to be ashamed of yourself

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Oh my god, the last one is too relevant for me.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You know what to change your username to, sir/madam.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Me too OP. Hung as a motherfucker

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I ate a whole bag of dorritos.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm in bed eating pizza. It's 6pm.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm proud of you.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks girl. My obligations are looming ever closer tomorrow but right now I have pizza and parks and rec. Thanks for the funnies also.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No worries. Thanks for checking them out! I've managed to stay in my PJ's all day.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Admit it, you all sang "Benedict Cumberbatch!" right after reading #16

11 years ago | Likes 258 Dislikes 13

I admit!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Thanks to Weebl it was "dirty dirty girls love benedict cumberbatch" http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/Benedict/

11 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 2

Oh man. Thank you.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's more fun to another one bites the dust

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I don't know Nickelback songs so I didn't because I couldn't.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

No ragrets.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

And I knew this comment would be here. Hazzah!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

maybe...

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

No, I didn't.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

Completely guilty. no ragrets

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

NICKLEBACK 5EVA!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

After going to YouTube to listen to the first bit of the song - since I didn't recognise it by name - I can confirm that yes I did.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

I tried really hard not to but my fucking brain did it regardless. I'm powerless in my own skull.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

.... I can't remember the fucking song.... seriously, who remembers a Nickelback song?

11 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 3

It's not that hard. They only have like one song that they just tweak a little each time.

11 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 2

No, you're thinking of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

People who have reasonably good memories.

11 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 5

Unfortunately I remember it all too well. Used to be my old roommate's ringtone. Her taste in music was just as terrible as her taste in men

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I'm really struggling here. Trying to think if getting the joke is worth contaminating my precious ears with Nickelback.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Nope never heard the song before because nicklback is ear cancer personified.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 4

You clever son of a gun, how/when did you figure out the linking to a specific image in a multi-image post? Or whatever it's called.

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 2

Looks like he added # and the number of the image to the end of the post URL. Sneaky bastard.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think it just happens now. Let's test. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and take a big #2

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Nope. I was wrong

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'd like to give you some clever explanation of that but I kinda did it by accident.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It's automatic now. Just put the pound sign and a number. :)

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

You called it a pound sign... *Single tear of joy rolls down my cheek*

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I even fist pumped appropriately.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

No, because thankfully I've never heard that song.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 4

Sorry Nickelback fans, I didn't mean to upset you.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I said "look at this photograph" too many times

11 years ago | Likes 692 Dislikes 4

when they play it every other shift you work for two years...

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

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11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I couldn't hear the song at first so I played it on Youtube and immediately started laughing as I heard the Benedict Cumberbatch in my head.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Every time I do it makes me....OH I get it

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I had to youtube the song because I couldn't remember how it went. Not sure if that's a bad or good thing.

11 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 2

I still don't know what the tune to photograph is.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Good. Definitely good.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

It's good, use this link to remove any bad influences in your life: https://www.facebook.com/browse/friended_fans_of/?page_id=6248267085

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I had no idea so many people in my life were so corrupt.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

:O they're so many!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I love this parody https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDgs1iroYyY

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

hahaha this made my morning

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I make all my friends watch this

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Thank you for sharign

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ben e dict Cum ber Batch!

11 years ago | Likes 224 Dislikes 1

Look at this Cum ber Batch

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Every time I do it makes me laugh

11 years ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 0

HURR HEY HURR HEY

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

I think you just transitioned into James Hetfield somehow.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Hey hey, now now.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0