mibakr
421499
11483
166
Dec 30, 2016 11:52 AM
mibakr
421499
11483
166
zorbada
Sauce:
v
ItsThaRickDance
As an optician it does me good to see this cartoon cleaning his glasses with a proper lens cloth
Raxiel
"Don't worry, if the monster takes one step out of the closet, the thing under your bed will get it. G'night"
CommanderCorncob
TheOdd1sOut always gets a +1
ClaireM98909
Solution: install a lock on the closet door. Monsters won't be able to unlock it from the inside.
serney
My dad told me that the moon man was going to crawl in my window and bite off my toenails. I didn't sleep in my bed for months either
theDoctor131
My father told me that the dark was nothing to fear, because he's the meanest summofabitch that lives in the dark.
PixyStyk
folder[DadJokes]
AnyoneWantAPeanut
nordicfatcheese
There used to be a howling sound in the fireplace. My dad told me it was the ghost in the chimney. Didn't go in the front room for 2 months.
pavlovsschrodinger
NQH15
Talons015
Dinklllberrrg
Oh beat me to it...
CheshiresShadow
Ok but I dont have any lube on me so we'll have to make do with spit and determination.
KruziikVokunStaadnau
Goota love odd1sout
sundaymondayhippyday
simeme
Panzerhund3
FlexKavana
Damn gurl
bootzncats
In this gif, he looks like his face is facing a slightly different direction than his forehead.
MidiArbite
Or he has ED and is using the kid to hide that from his wife.
DontWantToBotherFindingAGoodUsername
Dad/10
FeathersPryx
Why does his head look offset to his face? Like someone badly cropped it on
Qtoy
Whoa
racistgrandparents
Will Arnette and his bad face crop can do no wrong
harmtheohmless
Oops
NicoleGanong
Vydrach
jherazob
And now I gotta rewatch it
reaper12345
Major Payne was such a good movie.
OneMadBasterd
Love the scene where the kid complains about a monster in the closet and Major Payne just shoot a few bullets in there. Aaahh the memories
OlympicLlama
Major Payne just terminated it with extreme prejudice. If he is in there he ain't happy.
theycallmetherattlesnake
Want me to show you a lil' trick? Take yo mind off that pain?
jamesgreene
Gonna feel a little pressure
probefarmer
Hahaha omg yass
JackTheBlizzard
THEODD1SOUT FANGI/BOY time!
AwakeAt3am
I had a kindergartner once tell the entire class that they weren't scared of the dark. They were scared of what was hiding in the dark.
harmtheohmless
MrDragonfyr
Well that was an interesting story
Flyndaran
My uncle used to play by scratching at our windows at night. One time we told him to stop. He came into our room "confused". 1/2
Flyndaran
He was a bad influence. It was our dad at the window. 2/2
thesxe
This is the kind of dad I will be. Not on purpose mind you. This is kind of dumb thing I would say.
27yoUGLYvirgin
I don't get it. What did he say?
thesxe
He implied monsters are real and they can open doors.
OmegaModern
ThankGodIts2017
My dad told me that if there were monsters the cats wouldn't be sleeping in my room. That surprisingly helped
xenburnn
human beings are a social species, we're not hardwired for being alone in the dark
Kaysmira
I was comforted by this a lot. If something were in the house, my very skittish cat would notice it first. If he was calm, everything was ok
ThankGodIts2017
I still tell myself that if I hear a weird noise in my apartment. The cat would NOT be sitting with me if something bad was inside
everydaygenericposter
My dad attempted to reassure me by saying the noises were nothing to fear; really dangerous things in the night wouldn't make any sound.
CharlotteLoveTzim
I used to imagine Jarlaxle was my bodyguard and he killed the ghosts.
IJustWantNudesHeSaysPleadingly
Pop took me out on a walk at midnight never got spooked by the dark again.
spiritussancto
jesus fuck man
Dissolveintoshadow
What is funny is I had the same logic as a kid, and it worked.
HM3Seasalt
I like to quote Sam Fisher when I babysit, "There's nothing to be afraid of in the dark. Sometimes darkness is a good thing." 1/?
HM3Seasalt
"When it's light. You can't see into a place that's dark. But when it's dark, you can see around you much better. If you're in the dark- 2/3
HM3Seasalt
"You can see them, but they have trouble seeing you."
dancingForest
*EYES WIDE OPEN THE ENTIRE NIGHT, SCANNING THE DARKNESS*
Softail
and occasionally screaming "I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING".
allegroconspirito
I used to do this until I would see things in the darkness, mainly the predator and hellraiser, then scream my head off, good times
AccurateUsername
I always imagined that the most dangerous thing and I would become friends and he would then defend me from anything!
MusashiTheSpaceSamurai
I used to picture the monsters from Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark doing this for me :D
TOASTEngineer
son. I AM THE MOST DANGEROUS THING
2000boxes
that reminds me of a story
FoxySpirit
That's the spirit! How is the friends thing treating you nowadays?
LazyTheAssCat
Idk 'bout that fella, but I think I could use a few monsters these days.
WitchofBabylon
fuck
unclenastyfingers6969
Yup. That sounds about right.
OptimisticDownvoteLover
Jasarg
What warrants this reaction?!?!
keyqueen
My dad told me how a guy crawled through a window and kidnapped the daughter, and her parents in the next room never heard a thing. 1/
keyqueen
My bed was under the window, right next to my parents' room... I couldn't sleep well for months. 2/2
NineByNine
Bet your dad was sitting there with a smile on his face going "That's for your toddler and infant years you li'l shit"
keyqueen
Actually I was quite an easy child. It was my brother who was the terror. But my dad did used to leave me at gas stations for fun.
randomeranimalfacts
absolutely barbaric
generalbacon
At that moment, dad realised, he'd fucked up...
PakitoTaquito
And that he wouldn't get to fuck for 3 months
KilxDJ
Hahahahaha did you really think that would stop him?
xenburnn
3 months of 3somes booya
generalbacon
That's disgusting. I love it +1
27yoUGLYvirgin
I don't get it.
PunyaPanji
Neither did his dad
Whydontyougofuckyourself
My dad made the same mistake. His response was to put a lock on the closet door "for my protection" made me feel safe again
generalbacon
Surely a big, scary monster could break the lock? XD
Whydontyougofuckyourself
True. But adults learn from their mistakes and won't tell the kid that
generalbacon
True true, parents are the real MVPs protecting us from the monsters
coned
theodd1sout is awesome. watch a lot of his youtube videos.
AuroraNora33
I was cringing the whole time they were building a snowman. THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S DONE DAMMIT
coned
then he destroyed the "snowman" and ruined everyones day XD
timmyisinthewell
Poor little Arizona child
theodd1sout
You try and do it then!
AuroraNora33
I don't mean to sound mean btw. It was just funny. It's one way to do it I guess. Great video
theodd1sout
No you're totally right it was a pretty retarded snowman lol
Spixyy
Please acknowledge my existance James
TheHeathLedger
I mean, the monsters will only come out if they are gay, so...
[deleted]
[deleted]
OPmakesOC
Oh myyyy
DontWantToBotherFindingAGoodUsername
Maybe thats just Tom Cruise and R-Kelly being confused
ThatGooseFromCharlottesWebArlottesWeb
And then I got out my GUN!! now I'm trapped in the closet.
Squeezit
That might be worse, depending on the child
spooncats
I mean they would still be gay if they stayed in the closet, wouldn't they?
TheHeathLedger
Depends. If they are sucking each others dick, then yeah...
racistgrandparents
could be lesbians.
Fadem
What makes you think they aren't gay?
GreedBayPackers
Triggered
PhilbertPhrog
And I slept in my parents bed for 3 months.
nanyatenyaa
All the tentacle porn.
Alooga
Aha, you haven't seen the *furry* tentacle porn then I assume.
nanyatenyaa
You would be quite wrong.
sunyudai
Are you assuming the tentacle's gender?
MeezyRogueHero
There are female tentacle monsters btw. Source: [redacted]
MeezyRogueHero
There are female tentacle monsters btw. Source: [redacted]
sunyudai
I'm well aware of this... source is +++====CARRIER LOST====+++
HelloImfromDenmarkyesyes
TRIGGERED
sunyudai
yet accurate.
MY5605
TENTACLED
sunyudai
giggity.
SulaFoggo
What is this from?!