McdonaldsWiFi
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Sep 9, 2016 10:00 AM
McdonaldsWiFi
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FireBreathingStockBroker
But. He wasn't put in jail.
FreakOhSuave
Sploosh....
SectsDryve
Brock Turner needs some Madame Zeroni
malbec
Yeah there are dudes who got over 20 years for maijuana possession
JustJoshinMagic
You've got to go and dig those holes...
RealNamesAreNotGreatUsernames
With broken hands and withered souls, emancipated from all you know.
cinder430
Did someone else just realized that Yelnats is Stanley backwards??
Ballindwalin
And in both circumstances, wooden sticks are involuntarily forced into dry holes.
stanleyyelnats
Relevant username! I never thought this day would come!
Lopool
baurpower
jamesshore
*Stanley Yelnats III
Nutzkiller22
I JUST realized that Stanley Yelnats is Stanley Yelnats BACKWARDS. Wtf is wrong with me?
ObiWanShalomi
Oh shit
AirshipEngineer
I know that was brought up in the book. And I think it was brought up in the film.
OhHiMarkOhHeyLisaHiDannyHiMiUnderwearesOhHeyLisaSpooooons
Its cause he stole a sports stars shoes, and theres nothing we love to protect more than rich sports stars
luvas
Ding ding, we have a winner.
TurbulentOlivia
Oh, I get it. Shia and Brock were both in holes before they became famous.
somethingshocking
Dammit, take your +1
Arandombox
You're going to hell...and i'm going with you. +1
Bluejay0013
Funny enough, it's considered a comedy on netflix
WeeblesWobble
Funny enough, so was Brock's sentence.
buckbuckbuckybuck
Honestly, Holes kind of scared me.
hooktail419
Holes was the shit when I was a kid. It was fucking epic. Watched it last month, it still held up.
TheDarkLordOfTrees
Always pay debts to fortune tellers and pray child labor doesn't become a thing here again
somethingaboutTV
I always assumed they locked him up for so long for just being Shia LeBeouf.
Bootsy81
Who is Stanley yelnats?
ISuperBelieveInYouTadCooper
From the book/movie "Holes"
Bootsy81
Cheers! Had never heard of it.
footfoe
Well it was supposed to just be a camp. No one knew the camp consulars were psychotic slave drivers.
KNIVESY
What country are you from? Is it consulars in your native language?
badwolfandtheoncomingstorm
It wasn't just any camp; it was a prison camp.
hashbot
Mr Pendansky apperently stole over 100 Dalmatians in his prior life of crime
cutepiku
It was a camp that was exclusively for kids who were on the wrong track. Supposed to straighten them up to prevent future arrests.
Xycron
Sentenced to 8 fucking months at a prison camp for kids. (At least I think that's how long he got)
ThisIsNotANameItsASandwich
Wasn't it 18?
Xycron
Oh god that sounds more accurate
cookiesnatcha
"18 months, Camp Greenlake, son. "
JeanneTheGenie
Brock Turner lives in my little town of Bellbrook and it's been a mess
Getsoft4u
mob justice is always a mess...and justice is nowhere to be found in those cases.
helloiamNSFW
Dayton, Ohio represent! Wish that wasn't the thing that got us on the map however..
punkishgoddess
Thanks each and every one of you that contributed to the Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf thread. Y'all the true MVPs!
unexpectedloneliness
HOLES so good...
JapAnus
One of the only times a movie based off a book turns out to be pretty good.
ProCheeseburger
"You always pre dig the holes... Otherwise someone could come along and you've got to dig a few more holes... You could be there all day"
DerSubhuman62
I read the sequel about the fat black kid and I admit, it gave me the feels
dpidcoe
The writer had a real knack for portraying incompetent adults from a child's perspective. His wayside school series was really good also.
unexpectedloneliness
You got to go and dig those holes. With broken hands and withered souls. Emancipated from all you know. You got to go and dig those holes.
ImgurianWhoClaimsToBeAnExpertOnEverything
2 shirts 2 tokens in hand. I got no respect cuz I'm the new man. Got my shovel, shoes full of sand, check out the tag the names caveman, uh!
shankycat
too soon
Solblazer86
I recommend the book as well.
LadyYmir
We read the book in school. Teacher thought we needed to get immersed into the book by digging the same holes. In the middle of summer
LadyYmir
granted, it was a school for absolute human garbage and scum. But we basically all had to do it without doing anything wrong, whatsoever
Jawsmine
I'm upvoting, but FUCK this makes me so angry.
browsib
Yeah, Stanley didn't deserve this!
StonesOnTheHill
Simple. The Yelnats family is cursed. The Turner family is rich.
TheOneWhoKnoockz
Turner....Timmy Turner....
TurangaLeeIa
That's what happens when you don't carry Madame Zeroni up the mountain.
hooktail419
Didn't you watch the end of the movie?
Sundaydriver101
steviedrawsdinos
Okay so this effed me right up. I haven't watched Holes since it came out, and I didn't realize the love interest was GUS.
DanielTerrell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ8k1cXDDhM
IsleOfFlightlessBirds
Ikr? The only thing I can think of whenever I see this actor in this movie is Gus.
pollypocketfullofposies
I never noticed his name was a palindrome until now
pollypocketfullofposies
Sorry I didn't pay attention when this movie came out 13 YEARS AGO
CorneliusCornwall
They straight up said so in the book and movie
hooktail419
Did you not watch the movie/ read the book?
Shewy92
That's literally the last part of the movie
blooregardqkazoo
That way you can read the book upside-down.
numberonespongebebfan
Yes that's exactly why they made it a palindrome
CherokeePeopleCherokeeTribe
Australian translation.
unscot
Who is Stanley Yelnats?
ihatewarmpickles
Doot, because I'd like to know too. Also, if someone can explain the joke, if be very content.
CapitalizingOnTheAbsenseOfAReasonableUsernameCharacterLimit
Main character of the movie/book Holes. On Brock Turner: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_v._Turner
ihatewarmpickles
Thank you
CapitalizingOnTheAbsenseOfAReasonableUsernameCharacterLimit
Main character of the movie/book Holes.
Chewthestitches
If only, if only...
scouttrooper
The woodpecker sighs
hydrochlorothiazide
The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies
CommonWhiteGirl
While the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
TurangaLeeIa
Crying to the moon, If only, if only
BabblesTheBirdKing
*Slow Clap* *sheds a tear*
cowabungapizza
"Movies are never as good as the book."- someone who's never seen Holes probably.
MidiArbite
Or read The Godfather from what I've heard.
dpidcoe
The movie was pretty good on its own, and excellent compared to most book to movie adaptations, but the book was still better imo.
TurangaLeeIa
It was, but at least Louis Sachar helped to write the screenplay (: that helped a ton
dpidcoe
Yeah, but authors working on the screenplay isn't a guarantee. I mean, Orson Scott Card helped with the screenplay for the Enders Game movie
cowabungapizza
Obviously, but in terms of a movie doing the source material justice, this sets the standard
dpidcoe
Oh yes, definitely.
Jedi9511
How do I come across this moments after i finish watching Holes????
imnotmattdamon
Someone had to.
theycallmeMrGlass
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
DocBrown88
Synchronicity, all of this is just a dream world you are experiencing while trapped in a coma.
ImgurianWhoClaimsToBeAnExpertOnEverything
With one breath, with one flow, you will know syncronicity
MattDerKomponist
Fate
TacoBeater32
The world revolves around you my friend enjoy it
Therealhawkguy
I came across this moments after washing my holes
RulesOfImgur
Purple because aliens don't wear hats.
RoastedSalted
ME TOO! For the first time, no less!
filthyfrankfurter
Fucking same reading right now wow
ImgurianWhoClaimsToBeAnExpertOnEverything
I love that book so much
thisisme95
Because you forgot to carry Madam Zeroni up the mountain and sing while she drinks so she can grow strong too.
aprilq08
read it in her voice. Hahaha.
ImgurianWhoClaimsToBeAnExpertOnEverything
I can fix that
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
Tardertoot
Me too! Also just reread the book. They did a good job turning it into a movie.
AuBoss
Just finished watching Constantine.
plumpkinese
The same reason Brock didn't spend a lot of time in jail for coming across holes
ShdwRrw
Yeah, I hate how the post says Sexual Assault. Like you said, he went for holes. That's rape.
UncleMcGrandpa
goingcrazy
Poor judgement?
MichaeIJCaboose
Sephiyevon
Za-Za-Zing
LintCollector
Golden
Samssss
This is an underrated comment everyone needs to see
barbadianimgurian
Watched it for the first time last week. I understand.
VadersLesserKnownCousin
Damn matrix glitching again
GarrettHawke
Destiny
AulusJ
Shia surprise.
MyBeardIsLongerThanMyName
Watching? They made a movie?
jonsmithorig
I said the same thing! I watched Bruce Willis in 5th Element the other day and saw the Meat Popsicle gif on imgur a couple days after! weird
Schmogul
You and OP watch the same Disney channel re-runs...
obviouslyrob
Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cognitive_biases#Frequency_illusion
asotzen
I learned something
iWriteThePr0nFerFun
https://www.damninteresting.com/the-baader-meinhof-phenomenon/
gogetahaircutyadamnhippie
So it really is a thing. Synchronicity.
Rhydsdh86
I was literally just thinking about the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. Baader-Meinhofception
RadicalDud
The DVD commentary for this movie is my favorite DVD commentary for any movie ever.
IrrelevantHandle
Why's that?
rainstorm666
I believe it's Stanley Yelnats the 3rd.
turboback02bugeye
his last name is his first name backwards yup
MyLittleBorg
Actually he's the 4th
Istealfromthefrontpage
Beat me to it. Had to replay the scene on my head.
TheFallingBowlOfPetunias
That's a cool head projector ya got there.
stanleyyelnatsthe4th
You called?
flashgordan45
and lets be real those were sweet feets
TheGenuineArticle
THERE WON'T BE NO STANLEY YELNATS THE 5TH.
ImgurianWhoClaimsToBeAnExpertOnEverything
+1 for Mr. Sir
NightmareCircus
I thought Marion was a girls name?
PhilTheGoron
Once upon a time, there was a magical place where it never rained. The end.
Solid5outof7
You spelled his name backwards.
stanleyyelnats
Can confirm.
ash291
http://m.imgur.com/yWhWobn
buffles
you are a genius
OfficialJoeBiden
It's literally in the movie. "Wait... Is your last name just your first name backwards?" "Yeah, why?"
buffles
what movie
OfficialJoeBiden
Holes.
McBook
I didn't even notice
Solid5outof7
Or read the book
destess
You didn't watch the movie???
McBook
I didn't
destess
HEATHEN
weallfloatdownhereeee
I wish everyone would stop saying sexual assault like he just grabbed her boob or something. That was rape, plain and simple
MidiArbite
Straight up I could understand letting the guy off lightly (Or completely) if it was in a room, but an alley? He knew it was wrong and hid.
maymay1588
By a dumpster like his victim was a piece of trash. That is some future serial rapist/killer shit.
shepherd95
yeah the rape charges against him were dropped, he committed sexual assault with a digit which isn't rape by law
weallfloatdownhereeee
Really? I had heard it was full-on P in V penetration
TF2215
Nah that wasn't what happened
imgurisEasilyOffended
Rape, by law, is unwanted insertion of any object. Has been since 2013.
Wombatish
A. It was the FBI's definition for -statistical record keeping- purposes that was changed. FBI doesn't charge even federal offenses of *c*
Wombatish
*c* rape. B. Even if it was the Federal prosecutorial definition, he would still have been charged under CA law.
Wombatish
And now that I see you're linking that press release elsewhere: you have to read beyond the website it's on. UCR SRS is Univ Crime -Report-.
LazyLexiconographer
All you have to do is provide the Statue, repeating the same thing is not evidence of your claim.
NexiKuro
The FBI will likely list him as a rapist : https://ucr.fbi.gov/recent-program-updates/new-rape-definition-frequently-asked-question
LazyLexiconographer
Statute*
Wombatish
DV all you want, it's still true. https://www.justice.gov/opa/blog/updated-definition-rape - DoJ praising FBI change to UCR SRS.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Wombatish
Not sure why you'd single out TX. Not where Turner's case was and I believe there are ~25 other states with similar wording? It was part *c*
Wombatish
*c* of a push to make the description more about a violent criminal act (assault). Statutory rape and other such terms unfortunately *c*
Wombatish
*c* softened the word 'rape', in addition to issues with old definitions of 'forcible rape'. Not saying it was a good/right move, merely *c*
Wombatish
*c* that it was neither unique nor meant as a way of making it sound less bad. It was meant to make it sound worse, even if that backfired.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Wombatish
No, it hasn't: https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/Digitization/55160NCJRS.pdf <'78 penal code summary. Movement away was in ~80s
Wombatish
And I live here too, still seems like a shitty reason to single out TX for something that is again, massively common and not done for *c*
Wombatish
*c* negative reasons.
NexiKuro
For anyone wondering, the US DOJ changed its definition of rape in 2013 to include what Brockt plead guilty to, California law does not. 1/2
Wombatish
It was the FBI definition that changed (you were right before) and it is for statistical purposes only. It is how they will classify *c*
Wombatish
*c* various crimes reported to them, whether the states classify them as rape, assault, or other.
Wombatish
Press report from DoJ but it is FBI UCRS: https://www.justice.gov/opa/blog/updated-definition-rape
NexiKuro
I think this means that he's technically not a convicted rapist, although from a federal pov he did plead guilty to raping someone. 2/2
mineovermatter
*statistically* this will show as rape for the FBI. Any wonder we can't trust stats?
cameraman502
States make there own report, so unless some California clerk files this as convicted rape it will not be reported as such.
NexiKuro
If anything using a centrally defined conditions would make statistics more reliable by erasing variance in state based definitions.
TheOneWhoKnoockz
No he didn't. He never went to Federal court for this. Dude is a turd but you can't just apply definitions as you see fit.
NexiKuro
Why not? The act he plead guilty to is defined as rape by the DOJ, so he technically admitted raping someone. That was my point. 1/2
TheOneWhoKnoockz
He plead guilty to the state statute of "Sexual Assault". DOJ doesn't dictate state laws.
NexiKuro
2/2 I'll admit that I worded it poorly but I ran out of characters.
NorfolkBoy
It's legally definied as assault, if you want that to change, change the law.
TheGrumpest
The judge was corrupt. He's getting removed.
imgurisEasilyOffended
NO ITS NOT WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM. IT HAS BEEN CHANGED SINCE 2013
NorfolkBoy
I will have to look into this, do you have the statute name. Always happy to be corrected if wrong. In the UK, AFAIK this is sexual assault.
NexiKuro
The FBI redefined rape to include any sexual penetration of mouth/ass/vagina by any body part/object without consent in 2013.
NexiKuro
Actually it was the Department of Justice my bad. I'm also not sure what UK law has to do with an American rapist but whatever. 2/1
TheOneWhoKnoockz
He was charged by the state, not the Feds.
Wombatish
For statistical purposes only. It's not even the DoJ definition. It's how they categorize crimes reported to them now. Still a good thing.
TheShadowLloyd
Rape implies he had sex with her, which he did not, as there was no penetration. People need to stop with this misinformation.
BreadyStinellis
P in V is not the only kind of sex. Lesbians have sex all the time. Oral is sex. Digital penetration is sex. Shoving a foreign object in
BreadyStinellis
Someone is sex.
d4rkr34p3r500
My whole deal with this is he was "caught" fingering her. I'm not one for jailing someone for what they could have done but its not 1/?
d4rkr34p3r500
That big a mental leap to assume he wasn't going to just leave her after he finished fingering her. He can't be legally charged 2/3
d4rkr34p3r500
With rape you are completely correct with that but im going to call a spade a spade 3/3
imgurisEasilyOffended
No, Jesus Christ. Look up your facts.
TheShadowLloyd
Implying a word means something different simply based on your feelings won't change what it means. Rape is forced sex and that's that.
TheShadowLloyd
Fondling a non consenting person is not sex.
dpiddy101
Right its sexual assault
Youareobscure
sticking your finger in someones vagina is not fondling them
shepherd95
uh, from what I heard he fingered her which by definition isnt rape? I might be wrong?
shepherd95
don't flame me, I never said it was ok, its just not rape if he fingered her. That would be sexual assult
IPutAHexOnYou4c6f7665206d65
the dude above said 'there was no penetration', that sounds penetrative and possibly damaging .
bellaluna
Any sexual penetration is considered rape. This was both sexual assault and rape. I tend to agree with you, but that's the definition.
imgurisEasilyOffended
Rape, by American law, includes unwanted insertion in general. Fingering an unconscious person is rape.
theJon0tron
In certain states the definition is far more limiting.
LazyLexiconographer
American law? You mean State law? No I think you are clueless.
NexiKuro
Federal law considers it rape, California state law does not. Personally I'd go with the feds in this case.
TheOneWhoKnoockz
He was charged at the state level. So no, it wasn't rape.
RAGESTARVED
You are correct. What he did is not legally considered rape.
BreadyStinellis
*in Californian. It varies by state.
imgurisEasilyOffended
Rape, by American law, includes unwanted insertion in general. Fingering an unconscious person is rape. Look it up.
mfaber1025
In California it is only consider rape if a sexual organ is inserted. Look it up.
imgurisEasilyOffended
Rape is a capital crime. It is defined by federal law. Look it up. US Department of Justice in 2013.
IPutAHexOnYou4c6f7665206d65
so, since women do not have penetrative sexual organs, women can't rape in california? (honest question)