The 9 Objectively Best Feelings in the World

Feb 1, 2018 11:16 PM

ZLaughStop

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#4 best feeling ever

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Me being 21, I have had only 3 clean wipes in my lifespan, and all three I have remembered because it was such an amazing experience.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Source is Jacob Andrews from collegehumor.com

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I dance when I'm eating something I really like. If I'm sitting, it's a series of rhythmic shoulder shrugs.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 0

AAAND THIS BIRB YOU CANNAE CHAAAAA... God damned it.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I recall the official term is "miracle dump" when you wipe clean.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I’ve never eaten something and gotten angry that it was good. Am I not eating right?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

New socks, cleaning your ears, food so nice you don't want to take a drink

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Number 7 = me every single morning. I just looove that first sip of my coffee!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#5 I don't understand.....

8 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

I agree. Kinda hard to determine if a feeling is best if you've never experienced it.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I laughed too much at this

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#6 but the worst feeling is when you stretch and suddenly your foot and calf muscles seize up and you think you're going to die.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When you last longer than a minute in bed

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Scratching mosquito bites

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't think I have ever experienced #5

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Freshly shaved legs in soft or silky pajama pants.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#8 JoJo face :)

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

is that.... is that... a partially related to jojo reference?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I get upset with my cooking. Knowing I won't be making the same thing again any time soon even though it was so damned good.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Imgur's favorite: peeling off a sticker or screen protector super slowly.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

All of these are the best things...how us this possible! I need answers!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Jizzing on someone's face

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 5

#9 is how I feel about my wife’s....You know.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Tuna casserole?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Her kidneys?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Spaghetti

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

When you blow your nose after a sinus infection and that toddler-sized mass thunks into the kleenex and suddenly you can breathe again.

8 years ago | Likes 69 Dislikes 0

Yeah like blowing that huge white-ish clump out of your nose so you can fit more cocaine

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Same for spitting phlegm. Got mono as a kid and my god once I spit the big one my sore throat just... stopped

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

After you finish working out and you walk to your car in the cool air

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They’re all no-wipes if you don’t care

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Only you can prevent Klingons around Uranus.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why would you eat something so incredible and then get mad at it?

8 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 2

because food should be this good all the time

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

it'll never be as good as the first time u had it, it'll never be the same, it was that fucking good, or u didn't know it was the last bite

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

It's more like aggressively appreciating it. A joy of severe intensity.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

There's no more

8 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 0

You'll never be able to make it as amazing as you just had.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

I often try to find dive spots in poor communities because the food is usually INCREDIBLE and there's like this element of rage at how (1/2)

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Ethnic food especially you want to go to the most hole in the wall place you can find.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

good it is because it's hidden away and everyone should know and the people running it are unfairly poorer than owners of nicer places (2/2)

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

#2 is never to be trusted. you check, and recheck.

8 years ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 2

usually i just wipe... and i wipe... and wipe... and... still poop, smh..

8 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

It's like I'm wiping a marker

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Spit on it the paper. Like a wet wipe. All clean.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Will you spit on my paper too?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I won't do it for free, but maybe for a few Schmeckles.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just spit on your butthole and cut out the middle man

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Do a light dip in the toilet water and wipe up

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

dude, get a bidet, use TP to check and dry.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ah, yes, I'll just pick one up. They sell them next to the tp rite?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They sell little hose attachments that you clip to the side of the tank. Got mine on clearance at home depot ????

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

i got mine from amazon, it gets installed bellow the toilet seat with the hole in it. was about $40

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Getting into your bed with new or clean sheets, freshly showered, new jammies.

8 years ago | Likes 611 Dislikes 1

*no jammies

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

On a Friday night with the whole weekend ahead

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*no jammies

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I just did that 27 seconds ago

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

nekked

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I too sleep this way

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Having socks on until just before you hop in...????

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I refuse to wear anything but boxer briefs to bed. Otherwise I overheat and wake up drenched in sweat about an hour and a half early.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I just did that last night. God it was so fucking amazing

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Especially when the bedding is cotton and has been line dried in the sun with a breeze.

8 years ago | Likes 63 Dislikes 1

Microfiber is the best. Soooo soft.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hnnnng

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Dat smell....mmmmmm

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You should try bamboo bedding. It's like cotton but soft

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Satin

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And freshly shaved legs

8 years ago | Likes 152 Dislikes 1

And on a Friday night, so you wake up leisurely and all warm and soft

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

two weeks ago, not on call, TKD school i teach @ part time closed for snow. got mah Jammies & slept from Friday to technically Sunday,

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Freshly shaved head for me...mmmm

8 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Freshly shaven balls.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

...wait, head? Or /head/

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Big head or small head?

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

That, but with Gold Bond alllll over the meat and potatoes. Trust me.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Well I dont have meat or potatoes so ill keep my jammies thanksis

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Talc/baby powder then. Do the thighs too and it's like you're lower half is sleeping in a cloud

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

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8 years ago (deleted Feb 7, 2018 1:05 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Yes, gold bond on the nuts is fantastic, it's akin to standing naked on a tropical cliff with a gentle breeze caressing your balls.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I am a chubby chick. I powder my inner thighs and my underboobs before bed every night. It's the same feeling! Heaven!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Read this aloud to my boyfriend. His response: “he knows what’s up.”

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

That, minus the jams. If your not sleeping in the birthday suit your not living. Trust a convert, this shit changed my life.

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 3

No thanks jammies are the best

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Keep some clothing handy if there's a fire

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Fellow nude sleeper- it's the jam.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Yeah, I don’t understand wearing clothes in bed - I toss and turn though so I’d be tangled up to shit if I wore anything!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You must not live where it’s -15 outside and effing cold inside.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

It hits those temps maybe a couple nights year here, but not on the reg. Invest in better insulation and efficient heating my friend.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

All the blankets and indoor heat, my dude. It's -19C here.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Indoor heat? No. My dad’s house is +14 at night. If you get lucky, your feet won’t freeze to the floor while you pee.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0