Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
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I've noticed letters from her doctors office recently, but I thought it was about the gall bladder operation she had a few months ago.
It's amazing how strong some people can be in trying times. It's also amazing how much of a douche I've been through the years. Putting her through 38 years of my drug addiction and alcoholism. I've been self centered, selfish, non supportive, lost jobs, lost friends, etc. I've been sober for five years now, but the damage has already been done.
If you're lucky enough to have someone who loves you unconditionally don't take them for granted. It's a once in a lifetime gift.
That being said, right now it's a small lump and it has not reached her lymph nodes, but surgery is needed and chemo too. She has decided to tell family and friends about her condition when she is ready and has sworn me to secrecy. That's why I'm venting to you guys. Sorry to bother you.
Tinyfish3
My mom beat her breast cancer and my dad is currently kicking lung cancer’s butt. You two stay strong. Mom loves her new boob!
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Lol. It's times like this that brings out the best in people or the worst. You guy's have your shit together. God bless you all.
SoupCanMan
You can't change the past, only the present. Do what you can do, and be there for her like she was (presumably) for you.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Oh, yeah. She was there for me always and I was the absent husband or father or whatever. I've done my best to own my bad behavior.
middleagedman
On the bright side most survive and she can get a new and improved pair.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Lol. Motorboat time.Forgive me, I'm a worm.
Zootsoot
There are support groups for husbands whose wives have breast cancer. It's hard when the caregiving dynamic changes. Plz join one
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
I'll consider it perhaps. I'm still the old school die hard tough guy. We'll see how it goes.
Zootsoot
Also? Go to www.flylady.net they give GREAT support/guidance for running the house/managing caregiving. Shes gonna need u to take over.
tylerthedm84
Not a confession. Improper meme usage. ?
taylorsassymylee1
No bother...God bless and Praying !!!
warriorjag
5 years sober is an amazing accomplishment! Try and stay positive! Things seem grim but all is not lost!
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Thanks.
LucidMagi
My wife is a breast cancer survivor. & while u say the damage is done, trust me, she's going to need the new you as she goes through this.
LucidMagi
Forget the past and focus on supporting her through this. She is going to be sick and weak & have to make hard decisions. She needs u now!
bananaspitz
Sorry to hear its cancer but very happy its localized and very treatable with excellent recovery rate.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Thank you for your support.
aborum
Sister in law recently got the same diagnosis and is recovering. Stay strong. Statistics are on your side.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
I'm glad to hear she's recovering. Also, I'm making arrangements for a dream vacation for her when she's up to it. She loves Ireland.
CardeasII
You got luck in a badluck. I wont be very nice now but - just cut em out (get new ones if you can), be happy you found out before it spreads
evealgenius
Dude, I'm sure this is going to be hard for you both. Being strong when you want nothing more than to break down is tough. We are here for u
ladyatlas777
The important thing is to never go back to those addictions and to be there in everyway you can be for her during this rough time. it's
ladyatlas777
not the end of the road, just a bump. <3
bravotipo
38 years of alcohol and drugs and you are still alive: use these years, gifted upon you, to help and support her. a virtual hug from EU
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Yeah. Just about. Pretty selfish of me, huh? And just about all that time I convinced myself that I was a good person. I wasn't good at all.
Issima1984
Focus on the now. You are a good person now. You will help your wife get through this. You got this
bravotipo
no bad at all: we all (me first) fail to recognize life is a gift. we have to realize it,be grateful and, then, we will be able to be good.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
You're right. I regret it taking so long.
jo136942
But now you are. Win!
CaptainSlower
It's never too late to become the person you should be.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
I'm trying, man.
joemac65
Hold her tight, be there for her and give her our best wishes.She got diagnosed early, that's half the battle won. GL OP.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Thanks, buddy.
Phlonni
Look, dude, no one is perfect. You are trying to be a better person. You are loved. You are wanted.
jo136942
It is very curable. Scary as shit in the beginning but very curable. Have her get different treatment opinions. Multi opinions good.
Shaggymom
Keep your sobriety healthy. She will really need you 100%!
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Yes Shaggysmom. I'm doing my best. So far so good.
Shaggymom
Glad to hear. Remember, some days will literally be a minute at a time. And if you need a break or feel overwhelmed, say so!
FredOak3
My wife is one year in remission. Be strong for her! Chemo and after surgery are tough. Just remember she is still the same woman you love!
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
I'm really trying my best to be there for her. And I will always love her. God bless your wife and yourself.
babycucumber
Hope all goes well. That's pretty heavy shit
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Thank you.
MostlySunnyInMyWorld
No harm waiting until after the surgery to tell folks. Many will expect her to die of cancer, she doesn't need that kind of negativity.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Are you trying to say that you want my wife to die of cancer? You're a real piece of work.
MostlySunnyInMyWorld
Oh my goodness, no! I'm saying that others may watch with morbid curiosity, and that's not good for her. I pray your wife's health!
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Thank you. We saw a surgeon today and the doctor gave a good prognosis. Chemo after surgery, but the mortality rate is high. Thanks again.
t0mn8r
My ex-wife was diagnosed with breast cancer as well. The dr caught it early and 5 years later all is good.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Glad to hear it. I think most doctors and insurance companies consider 5 years cancer free as a cured patient.
ColoniaCroisant
The one thing I learned from cancer is it's all about mentality, stay positive, stay normal, love harder. You'll get through this together
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Thank you for saying that. I do believe that to be true.
ColoniaCroisant
My dad had pancreatic cancer, 3months to live tops. He turned it into almost 2 years because he never stopped fighting and being positive
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
God bless him. Beating the odds.
ColoniaCroisant
If I can give you any advice, it's don't leave things left unsaid between you and your loved ones. Ask the hard questions. Don't miss out
tsunamisue
You are sober now to be the support she needs! You can DO it!
KeatonJazz
Manage your stress while supporting her. Your skills learned in sobriety will help you both now. Good luck! Speedy recovery!
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
I also don't want to overdo it and be in her way. My parents are still around, so I never had to deal with something like this.
jo136942
Treat her as the person you love and respect that has cancer. She's still the same person :)
BenedictEggpatch
Show her love, and show her that you truly do care. You will never be in her way
lucienishisnameo
And look , you made this about you.
Zeddofthefirstorder6969
I dont know why people are downvoting you bro. Youre right. Fuck this guy.
westwood8183
The fact that she hid everything up until an actual diagnosis is pretty sad IMO. Can't imagine hiding that from my husband.
LionsDragon
It kinda sounds like she still doesn’t trust him...not that I blame her after all that. :(
JupitersWitch
That's the vibe I got. My wife is suffering so let me tell the internet about my problems. Some people have no concept of empathy.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Hey, look, a troll with more than one account.
TroelsyTwo
I mean I think he's telling the story so you can understand why he maybe feels guilty and that.
Zeddofthefirstorder6969
IronMagnus
sorry bout her titties
WriterofPurple
Doesn't make the situation any better, but on the bright side: new, designer boobs.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Lol.
TheBengalKatLady
Don’t be sorry, she can get bigger and better ones once she beats cancer.
DirkNurple
Kid in HS was big in Brest cancer awareness. I asked who he lost, he said he just couldn’t bear the thought of something messing up tits.
AStruggler
Was his name “The Todd”?
AStruggler
https://youtu.be/Hui-yI7G4k8
Bauza51
It’s a common cause we can all get behind... except for the gays they don’t have a dog in this race, lucky dicks. (Jk for gay joke)
immrbrightside
Savage.
evilpsych
Seriously? This may be an asshole troll post I don’t applaud.
IronMagnus
It's okay, you don't have to approve. OP laughed.
evilpsych
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Not a bullshit post. I'm sorry to say it's for real. Not whoring for points either. Just look at my words in the middle of my initial rant.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Don't take unconditional love for granted. Show you care.
evilpsych
I was referring to ironmagnus’ comment not your post. Apologies.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
No worries.
mdzmdz
Sorry? He can encourage her to get some great fakes without having to admit the old ones were losing their lustre.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Lol. My wife had a moment of levity last night. She said that the new ones would be high up and perky.
jo136942
My sis had replacements. Doesn't even need to wear a bra now and has way bigger boobs. Use humor to get thru it. It's scary at first!
IronMagnus
So what do you think of your sister's tits?
jo136942
Ha
swanglemydangle
Inbox me some pics
jo136942
Sorry... don't keep them on my phone.
OCDdriver
5 years is great man, keep it up and stay strong for her. She needs you more now.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Thanks. Surprised it's not my condition, considering the way I was living.
Qualia97
Don't blame yourself, some people can be super healthy and still get the awful C. Focus on your achievements and how you can be there for he
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
I will. Thank you.
pumly
This happened to me too. Your wife's case has excellent survival statistics, so you are both very lucky.
jwingZ
Downvote bc you misused confession bear
badgersnuffles
My mom just went through this and she's doing great now. Caught early.
SamArt53
@OP. I did the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer to support a friend in 2004 and 2005. I met hundreds of women and quite a few donors who have
SamArt53
had breast cancer (some more than once) and survived. Surprisingly some friends had it and I never knew until I was raising funds for it.
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate that.
SamArt53
You’re welcome. I raised almost $11,000 total in the 2 years. Lots of great donors. A side note, after 2004 walk I was photographed and
SamArt53
Signed an ad release. My full face photo was used in nationwide ads, mailers, fliers, etc. all over he USA. They wanted a male (I was 51).
petittourette
Hope she’s not tripple negative, if not you’re going to have a happy life together
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
You're right. She's very lucky her insurance pays for a 3d mammogram. She knows all this, but cancer has ravaged many in family. Still worry
EngravedToaster
Well, now you know. Follow through. Tell her what you've told us, thank her for being there, and return the love now, build intimacy through
EngravedToaster
supporting her and stepping up. Show her you can do for her what she has done for you.
jo136942
This
SkywardSpork
My mum made it through fine at 54, she's been clear 3 years now. Mad woman would do DIY like building a patio while going through treatment
1speedbike
Another doc weighing in - without node involvement it's very local & treatable. Things will be fine. Just show her the support she needs :)
mountainofpuppies
as a doctor: if she wants, go to all the appointments: to only be the scribe, so she doesn't have to remember anything, encourage others 1/2
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
She made herself go to the appointment for the mammogram. She was afraid because she hadn't seen a doctor in a while. Glad she went.
mountainofpuppies
tell her that, you are going to need to be her rock as much as you can. you two are a team in this.
mountainofpuppies
to not treat her as the caner patient ,she is the woman who has cancer (so fucking what, it's not a personality shift) take her mine off 2/3
mountainofpuppies
mind* off of it where you can, breast ca. has good survival and if it's mastectomy time then you help her w/ any body image issues 3/3
ChuckTingleBattlesTheAssGoblinsofAuschwitz
Imthinkinaboutthosebeans
Samsquantch82
I found out on Thursday that my sister's cervical cancer has spread to her lymph nodes. We didn't always have a good relationship, and -1
Samsquantch82
It's killing me that it's my fault we wasted so much time. I'm right there with you, brother.
Waitihavesomething4this
Same with my mom. Metastatic breast cancer after 10 years post double mastectomy. I was the one by her side 24/7 the last 6 months. You have
Waitihavesomething4this
Time and this time is what counts. And she’ll see that and know it. Just know you’re doing this for her not just you
Inmydefensethemoonwasfull
Reach out to her and tell her you love her. Life is too short. No need to sweat about the little things.
Samsquantch82
I did, actually, about ten minutes before my mom contacted me with the news about the cancer. I am very much a skeptic, but it was weird.
Waitihavesomething4this
Even if they’re big things, it’s scary as FUCK knowing you’re going to die in the near future. People shouldn’t be alone