TheSimpleDude
77750
1062
39
approached by 2 motorcycle thiefs
Mormon guy takes gun and throws it over the fence
Then the hands of God rain down on the thief
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx1B2yfgHzA
elppapple
You gon catch these hands AND the holy ghost, bitch
SpacemaniaXu
I imagine that they take self-defence courses before they start their missions
jsktrogdor
"HEY THANKS, COMPANION!! THANKS FOR HAVING MY FRICKIN' BACK, BROTHER FREY."
plutoisstillaplanetinmyheart
Looks like someone has on their unholy underwear...
aoenofhorus
"Quick, Elder Steve, look up if I'm allowed to beat this guy up!"
CooterMcDann
As a former LDS missionary, this makes me proud.
TheMysteriousBanana
Dad.... I don't think I'm going to do Hamster Style anymore.
THRILLHOUSE69
Jesus
spoileddentist
Is that a police car? How long is this fight?
windyroad
Love the way his co-mission buddy has his back the whole time.
WhiteCheddarCheeto
He didn't even pick his buds bag up off the sidewalk.
OtroBarry
I just want the two Mormon guys to get on the bike and ride off now
MostFolksJustCallMeOrangeJoe
I'm here to spread the word of God and kick ads, and I'm almost out of the word of god
Titandog21
Yeah! I hate ads!
Doyouremembermyusername
New Ad-Blocker slogan?
19ajb
Do you have a moment to catch these hands?
JustAGamerDreamin
Dum dum dum dum dummmmm!
whattheshitisthat
Straight outta the Priesthood.
Theresadropbearoverthere
Looks like he is trying to turn that guy into a camper. Really enjoyed progress updates so far!
MurielB
Hasa Diga Eebowai!
mmfrancis
Never push a quiet man to his breaking point.
v
onlymemesnow
Ishmell
sauce?
onlymemesnow
https://youtu.be/Ok-rhTZK0kE
OprahsPinkSock
Maybe this time he'll do the DVDA scene
FallenJester
Finally someone else makes that connection! My Orgazmo comment got downvoted
shinyRK9
No one fights harder than a man who believes he's going to paradise when he dies.
MinorityOpinion
lol.
RetroBlast
"See this gun?" (throws it away) "I don't need it to whip your sorry ass...in the name of Jesus!"
LetMeGoogleThatShtForYou
LORD PAAAAAAWNCH!!! THREE, TWO, ONE, KILL SHOT!
Strongharbour432
If you beat me I will rise again just to whip your ass!
NoYolo4Jesus
I appreciate this comment
PrinceSatisfactory
Swear to God, went to Highschool with a Mormon guy. His little brother got attacked by a bear while they were camping. This dude 1/2
PrinceSatisfactory
straight up stabbed a fucking bear to get it off his brother. LDS has some bad, and extremely polite, motherfuckers 2/2
zipgunparade
It's Orgazmo!
CavendishBandana
The Power of Christ compels you!
srsfaceI8C
I knew a guy who was kidnapped on his mission in Russia back in the late 90s. Missionaries can go through some shit, yall.
Winward
My dad was on his mission in Guatemala about 20 years ago, was in an area during the middle of a gang war. Almost died a few times and 1/2
Winward
Came back with some crazy stories.
srsfaceI8C
You don't have to be Mormon to appreciate a good missionary story! At the end if the day it's still a 19 year old kid in over his head y'no?
Megarith
Gotta love how the other guy actually flags down police
aishfee
Ha! No kidding. The gun weilding theif, now his buddy is getting beat, needs police
Blastergv9
Maybe that Mormon's buddy couLD'VE PITCHED THE FUCK IN
wingod
The other one was praying for the poor thief for the ass kicking he was about to receive.
StonesOnTheHill
Nah, one kicks ass, the other keeps watch to ensure that Jesus isn't watching. Same procedure as when they smoke a bowl or get drunk.
Wellblaine
Dear Lord, bless that criminal for he knew not.
NoYolo4Jesus
...that he was about to get his ass whipped.
jsktrogdor
*whupped.
thehumbug
Read whipped as wiped.
NoYolo4Jesus
Things would have taken an odd turn for sure... I bet he'd never rob anyone again.
lordofhouselurker
Unless he is into that stuff
nabacular
Hello! My Name is Elder Haymaker
jimmythehat1
I knew a family of Mormons named Hammacher when I was growing up. Some cousins of theirs pronounced it Haymaker
DadApproved
Mormonism does not make sense, but I have never met one I did not like.
themightyo
There's your sense right there, bro.
yourpalBuddyChrist
I swear, I see this comment every time theres a post relating to mormonism
andshewillbe
If they are on their mission they are bound by rules to be nice to you.
zencronix
Well yes there are but they also apply to the whole of the church :).
sleepswiththefishes
Mormons are fucking very cool. Their religion makes no sense. Same as Rastas and Hindus.
BillaBong031
How dare u say our religion makes in sense, this is war!
ResetButton
Man... that's how I feel about every religion. Ya'll are awesome, diet high in moral fiber, but you believe THAT story?
Wellblaine
Coexistence seems to be our ultimate purpose. Religion, personal or whitewashed, does that which armies can't and vice versa.
JackMolotov
What this guy said
Zachakx
Yeah, it's just a matter of everyone willing to meet in the middle. Somewhere along the lines of all of us being living beings.
VenderTrashImgur
Out of state Mormons are great utard mormons are the fucking worst. Provo bubble is an echo chamber of stupidity.
OfficialJoeBiden
I met a Mormon man at Starbucks once. I was very confused, because I thought they couldn't drink coffee. He saw me staring and opened his...
mvp84
Opened his... lol I was wondering where was this going?
OfficialJoeBiden
...cup to show me there was just water in it. It was a neat encounter.
VigorousButtstuff
It's a core tenet of the Mormon faith that Native Americans are actually just stained by God for being sinners. Still like them?
thatfrozencavemoose
I bought my first weed from Mormons. They taught me how to party.
thatfrozencavemoose
First time I smoked some variant of KB: It was my birthday, and I was dry. ...having only ever had schwag. ...was so good my legs went numb!
MothMonsterMan
They sold you a g of oregano
7ofWine
Trueeeee
tcgl
I sure have. One of my least favorite coworkers is an arrogant asshole, and he's a deacon or somesuch at his (Mormon) church. He's a douche.
heyguysimtom
Deacons are 12-14
tcgl
Sorry, I have no idea what you're telling me here!
MethelyneBlue
Same. Except my best friend's ex. He was a major douche bag. They dated 6 years, he broke up with her, was married to a girl a month later.
MethelyneBlue
He met the girl a day after they broke up, got engaged a week later, and the rest is history.
Bustopher
Yeah, my childhood friends that were/are Mormons changed when they got to marrying age(whatever they call it). It was a real let down.
MethelyneBlue
Ikr!
LookingForWorkInColorado
I used to invite them in to mock them. They were always cool. I was a dick.
nipplepanties
Yeah. You were.
CooterMcDann
Having been on the receiving end of those situations, please domt mock, have civil conversation or say no. Your wastingtheir time and
CooterMcDann
Your own time, most of them are 18/19, still kids really. No fun for anyone.
LookingForWorkInColorado
"Try not to be a dick" -Buddha
HandBear
I think he already came to that conclusion on his own without your advice
CooterMcDann
It was for others to see, not directed at him.
jsktrogdor
As a Utahan and former Mormon: Go to Utah Valley. That's where they hide all the hyper-judgmental nut jobs. The rest of them are alright.
eepycatgirl69
This sounds like it could be a fun trip for me
MurderedByAFunkyColdMedina
Live in Idaho with lots of lds. Most are amazing people, but just like any group, some are cunts
yourpalBuddyChrist
As someone who lives in utah valley, Can confirm
Slindrin
As a former Mormon from Montana, I couldn't have asked for a better upbringing. It's just not for me, and all of my parents are okay with it
Squarm
Yep i lived there for 13 years in Logan. Some crazy shit there.
SocktheFox
You speak the truth
roopoo4yoo
And Mesa AZ
jsktrogdor
Yeah, there's little colonies of awful little cults. The ones who have integrated into the rest of society are the good ones.
ThatOtherMacAvoyWoman
Omg I was wondering if anyone was going to mention Mesa. Born & raised! But not Mormon.
kingliam
Isn't that kind-of judgemental? Ironic
CooterMcDann
Just as with any sample for a population, its easy to pick out the bad ones" in more saturated areas.
jsktrogdor
I would say it's descriptive, not judgmental.
CooterMcDann
As a non-utahan and current mormon, I wont disagree
jsktrogdor
2/2 grabbing their children and covering their eyes like we were going to infect them or something.
jsktrogdor
1/2 Last time I was there we were hiking out of our campsite with a bag full of empty beers and people hiking past were literally hurriedly
CooterMcDann
Thats unfortunate, thanks for practicing non-asshole campsight cleaning procedure though!
jsktrogdor
That was the part that especially grinded my gears. We were just being good campers.
donjuanoven
As a former Utahn and current Mormon, this is accurate.
Killstealer
Why are they all there?
donjuanoven
Also, housing is usually pretty cheap. Add that to the strong emphasis on family bonds, & people usually don't go far from home.
RoninSven
Brigham Young University. Good school, but filled with boys and girls who think theyre God's gift to the world for being smart and religious
Killstealer
I mean pride should be known to be a vice to them shouldn't it?