Adyleigh
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17
I find this peaceful and motivating
I do not need my mother to validate my trauma
Always actively unlearning
I struggle with this....
I am me and me is okay
My breakthrough in therapy was realizing this
<3
DarkKittenTraveler
Loved this dump, thank you!
allenvasher3000
#1 basically the definition of being brave
LincLoud
If I consistently fail, then I am a failure
UncleRat
Sometimes, you find out you are doing great by ignoring the opinions of people you don't really trust.
rookie23
SilverNicktail
Thanks OP, needed that today.
CommunCreator
#12 People often think of the 5 stages of grief like a ladder; you go from denial to anger to bargaining to depression to acceptance, and you don’t skip steps and you don’t go backwards. Except you do. More like hopscotch than a ladder, really. Sometimes you think you’re safely in Acceptance and that ol’ Anger flares up. But you made it through once before, you can do it again.
Eldibs
#15 We're all winging it. Some of us are better at hiding it.
PsychoticMusicHead
Hey OP, saved most of it and needed to see all of these rn..thank you. May you have a wonderful life 💕
Glormax
#3 is not good advice. Sometimes it's ok to stop and find something better instead of hurting yourself and getting nowhere. Be more like Kenny Rogers, "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em."
CleverUsername9999
These are absolutely wonderful thank you for sharing!!
MmmmmSoup
#1 makes me think of that book Bear ...
Ouroborus
#15 Anyone who tells you they have it all figured out is lying. Everyone is in fact winging it.
AghorSaintSoundsCoolToMe
#2 The fuck?! I like them chubby pigeons. Only few days ago I reprimanded someone suggesting pigeons want to be a dove. No, they'd rather be a Falcon and eat the rest
MeowMachine12
Lovely dump. Thank you. It's just what I needed today and likely what many others did too.
YourLatinLover
Hug all the bears, fear is imaginary, the fluff is real!
Adyleigh
Relevant meme I just came across lol
GuerrillaschaukelnInDerTodeszone
Gonna squish the tapeworm out of that bear!
YourLatinLover
☺️
Adyleigh
See, I have tried to convince so many people of this. They just tell me I'll be shredded. I've always doubted them
YourLatinLover
I mean really, what’s life without a little mauling, live a little
Adyleigh
Exactly. You get it
CynicalPrints
It’s backwards. You get the courage after you do the things you are afraid of.
MeowMachine12
But how do you do the thing you're afraid of without courage?
CynicalPrints
I know. It’s weird. Like having experience for a job when you’re just starting out. But real talk, start small if you can. Break it down to a manageable size and push yourself a little more each day. Over time you will fall back, and that’s okay, but each time you pick yourself up it will get easier as it builds your emotional strength. Like working a muscle. And give yourself credit for the small wins. It’s important to recognize that you are trying and that’s a good thing.
MeowMachine12
I couldn't agree more, and your entire comment is how I have found courage in the past and will find it in the future when I need to. I also think it's a different type of courage needed to do the thing versus the courage you get after the thing is done. Maybe the courage turns into confidence, which is turn makes the next time easier or doing something different but still daunting or frightening easier.
GTimgur
#17 What do you think allowed you to hear this? Because I know so many people who would rather do anything but acknowledge their role in the suffering.
LootenetDan
I think that's one of those things people need to grow into. I don't think telling them would work. One day, they'll hear it or read it and something will click
Chickenmakesmetired
I've been in abusive relationships all my life. The common factor is me, so what am I bringing/ displaying that's let's people know it's OK to abuse me? What can I change?
GTimgur
It's never okay for you to be abused, and I hope you believe that deeply! There are commonalities in people who make appealing targets for abusers, just as there are for abusers themselves, but unraveling which ones may apply to you would take more than I can do in one comment post here. If you're brave and honest, though, insights are extensive and readily available. That said, let me be clear that it is NOT your fault. One may learn self defense or avoid an area, but being robbed isn't >
GTimgur
one's fault. The most common things I see in abusees are high conscientiousness/conciliatory behaviour which may or may not accompany lacking a sense of self-worth/self-love, poor boundary setting and maintenance, lack of positive role models/healthy examples, and a weak social circle or willingness to give that up for someone. That mostly applies to adults though, not children. And one can do everything right and still be harmed sometimes in life, in which case our participation in the >
GTimgur
suffering is often our own attitudes or lack of introspection or not forgiving ourselves.
Adyleigh
I got tired of blaming others, if that makes sense. Once I noticed the pattern of putting my emotions as someone's else's responsibility, I didn't like how much power that gave them. That's when I thought through what I was doing and realized I was great at victimizing myself. I was, and sometimes still am, a pro at using what I've been through to validate ways I'm struggling and more or less wallow in it. >
Adyleigh
Or use past history of cycling through trying to do something and failing as a reason to just not do it all which added to my suffering and feeling sorry for myself. Another thing that helped me realize the role I played in my own suffering was actually a Reddit post lol it talked about your present self being distrustful of your future self because your future self won't take care of present self. If that makes sense? Lol >
GTimgur
That's so interesting, thank you for sharing! I will try to pass this on to people.
Adyleigh
So, the solution was to have present self start treating future self as a best friend and being considerate of future self. This thought of treating my future as a best friend has really changed a lot of my choices. Which turned into a dynamic of both present and future me taking care of me! I have honestly been happier for it.
BurberryBlessings
Yo, that's kinda rad. I'm in a pretty bad spot, and that makes a lot of sense.
Adyleigh
Here's the specific post if you're interested!