MRW I open the takeout container my wife brought home for me, and inside are four positive pregnancy tests...

Feb 1, 2017 1:06 AM

WayneGreekzky

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145466

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3231

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Was expecting food, received urine-soaked good news. She asked if I was OK, and I replied, "No, I'm Dad."

At first I was like "wtf four babies" then I was "wait I'm dumb as fuck"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But for the rest of us, it was a Tuesday

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

grats!

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

"Heyyy, this isn't egg drop soup!"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Quadruplets. Congratulations!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Good start on the dad jokes there!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But did you get your chinese?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Quintuplets?!! Congrats!!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And with that response, you'll be just fine at this "dad" business.

9 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 0

That means you're having quadruplets.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

My sister in law did this xmas eve, my mom told everyone she was going to be a grama & SIL had an abortion before the new year

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I am The Dad and The Dad is within me. I am The Dad and The Dad is within me. I am The Dad and The Dad is within me.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This should be your reaction https://media.giphy.com/media/FjeGBljESVAzu/giphy.gif

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

i would be disappointing. not because of pregnancy, but because i was prepping my body for food and there is none.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

...you're ready

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You cheeky son of a bitch, @OP. Also Congrazi.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Should have said I am hungry.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I always upvote Raul Julia.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Congratulations on the quadruplets!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Looks like you should've...taken out. Huh? huh? Congrats.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

@OP You impregnated 4 women and your wife wasn't upset??

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What are you still doing here go eat

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I lol'd. Thanks!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Cuntgradjewlations OP hope its healthy

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Should have showed no emotion and just started eating them.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I guess it is Tuesday.

9 years ago | Likes 62 Dislikes 0

My favorite comment.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is delicious.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

nice

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh shit I thought this was a dude from Warhammer before I read your comment. I'm sad that it's Wednesday now..

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I tried but I'm an hour late and change late here in Miami...It's 1 51am

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Raúl Juliá knew he was dying when he made Street Fighter but decided to make it lots of fun for his kids to remember him

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Well he was easily the best thing about that shitfest.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Feb 5, 2017 10:52 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

So, don't watch it right after watching the first Mortal Kombat movie then.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

9 years ago | Likes 159 Dislikes 3

What song is this for?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"I just had sex" - Lonely Island ft. Akon.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I can sing it by heart.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For dads everywhere here is your cell phone belt clip, white new balances, and of course Jean shorts. Congrats

9 years ago | Likes 684 Dislikes 2

And i sent him his D.A.D pager for the thermostat and game notifications

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

jorts, mr president*

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Forgot the belt and polo shirt

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why is this the dad standard? My dad also has all of these, except the shoes.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You forgot the jumper cables

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My dad doesn't have a clip. He has a zip-up belt pouch for his phone. And I don't know if that's better or worse.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And cookbook, there's even a whole section on fish!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lightly fried fish filets?

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Hells yes!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm 2/3 but I'm single. Guess I gotta get a lady pregnant to earn that belt clip

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

I ran an errand in sandals in striped socks yesterday. It just felt natural.

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

I am pre-emptively avoiding this by not buying sandals...lol

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was looking for the sandals and socks...... thank you

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My wife hates when I do this but I'm at the age where I just don't give a fuck.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Fuck I just realized I have all of those.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Including the child?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It would be illegal carrying these things without a child. That's why dads have pictures of their kids in their wallets. You need ID man!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Two of them actually. Sigh

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0