IMGRfinancialADVISOR
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Aug 20, 2020 6:20 AM
IMGRfinancialADVISOR
144960
4113
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AlexDuos
Everything is new to everyone at some point, what's common sense to us now we all had to learn somewhere on the way.
criticallyacclaimedfuckwad
Yes but usually we learn these things at a young age
MeowLettucePrey
My GFs (24) didn't realize you were supposed to flip the rear view mirror at night. She was driving around being blinded.
MeowLettucePrey
GF* not plural lol
WilliamHag
24 singular girlfriends?
TatersWhatsTatersPrecious
I don't understand why you would step into a cold shower wtf
HarmlessPervert
Probably from watching tv where people do just that. Turn on shower, step straight in, seductively wash shoulders...
yzmotoxer807
Do one thing each day that you dread. This is a path to discipline.
Inarticulated
MyBigMouth
Mate works at a PC shop and sold a Latop to a guy who was wanting it to dump pictures onto from his climbing trips and share them with (1/?)
MyBigMouth
his friends. The guy came back to the shop raging that he couldn't get a connection. So mate asked where he was and where his router (2/?)
MyBigMouth
was to try and work out the problem. The guy says "It's WiFi, it's wireless, so was up Ben Nevis at the time, no where near my router" (3/3)
ImgursLibertarian
I grew up middle lower class. No dishwasher. Moved to college. Had a dishwasher. Put dishwashing detergent in it.... Dawn liquid type. Fun.
RoundThreeFIGHT
Lol I was about to try this once but then decided to Google it first. Many a hilarious YouTube of that experience ? saved by the internet
ImgursLibertarian
Didn't have internet back then. It was the dark ages.
ASnugglyPugly
You're not alone. I turned my kitchen into a bubble bath when I was learning to use a dishwasher.
CiaranMcHale
You may laugh, but there are a great many people who don't have a poop knife or 3 sea shells next to the toilet.
SoullessGrave
They dont know about the 3 shells, I'm dying ?
Bizarkly
"They don't know about the three shells..." ;-D
kelinna
I understood the first reference but I'm lost on the second. Help?
rabiesraeven
It's a reference to the movie "Demolition man". It's good fun and you should watch it.
RealDMurda
JayPapy
monadenb
I found that : https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/three-seashells
MaadMaanMaatt
Still hold my breath while rinsing my hair and face... I’ve recently learned you can just breath normally and it’s fine. Why am I like this?
RachaelSchmachell
Same here!
ghostrobbie
Because it can feel like you're being waterboarded. Plus soap can get in your nose/mouth
CatatonicCowMoo
I always blow out my nose while rinsing my face to keep soap out of my nose.
binaryspike
I was on a trip with some friends, they heard me blow my nose in the shower and made fun of me "ew gross" etc. Several of them tried it >
binaryspike
And privately apologized because it was life-changing for their sinuses.
CatatonicCowMoo
I do that too! Kinda gross looking but as long as you wash it down the drain who cares?
ohthechestpain
Guy asked why New Zealandanders so much like Aussies. And i said ”Well the countries are pretty close to each other ya know” <
ohthechestpain
”Lol no, New Zeeland’s in Europe” 100% serious. He also thought the saying was ”Up and Adam”.
lazerfrog
Got into a 20 minute argument a US cabbie who was CONVINCED NZ was Norway. Kept talking about boats, we thought he meant long boats to start
ohthechestpain
Im from Sweden, dont know how many times ive heard ”oh yeah you guys got great chocolate and watches!”
lazerfrog
Worst.
cowboyshooter
The first time I made chili, the recipe called for 4 cloves of garlic. I proceeded to chop up 4 bulbs of garlic.
cowboyshooter
I didn't know what a clove was.
RedLlamaPoncho
I knew a guy who didn't know that women wipe after peeing
phuzz00
I mean, how was he going to find out? Most people don't talk about how they use a toilet or want others to watch.
necrojoe
What kind of fucked up childhood did you have? /s
d3vilsavocado
I didn’t know men DIDN’T wipe after peeing until recently!
SumerianCry
A hundred things like that have happened to me. Never underestimate how much smart kids get neglected. Nobody explains you anything anymore.
dasklaus
"But you're so smart" was what I always got when I didn't know something. Smart doesn't mean I don't need to be told things!
MeowLettucePrey
My 6 year old had shrimp the other day and he said it was good except for the tail. Lol I didn't tell him he wasn't supposed to eat the tail
Tenugui
Depends on what part of the world you are in.
ventikona
My husband used to eat the tail until I told him, in horror, not to.
lilgypsy
I was out with some friends and we ordered shrimp, one of them had never tried them and commented on how crunchy they were and I was like uh
lilgypsy
yeah they are pretty firm and crisp... then a few m in notes later he was staring at me as a peeled one and asked "Umm what are you doing?"
lilgypsy
That's when I realized he had just been monching them shell and all and nearly died laughing explaining it to him.
abraxa
Why not eat the tail? Some people enjoy doing so.
ventikona
Sure, if you enjoy it. Most of the people in this thread didn’t enjoy but ate them anyway because they thought they should.
DeepFriedMemesExclusively
I have been told that little shards of the tail can get stuck in your digestive track and irritate your innards.
AKADave89
Their parents failed them...
Starfox5
In Switzerland, at least in my canton, we have mandatory "Home Ec Camps" where you learn to cook, sew, etc.
MantisTobogganPilotMD
we did at my public school in NY also, but I learned more from my siblings/parents.
VinnieJonesDiary
I mean if your child reaches adulthood without understanding the concept that hot things are hot, I'm not sure that's really on the parents
hathorlover
A friend in college complained that she had to take off her skirt to pee. When I told her she could just taise the skirt, her mind was blown
ventikona
Oh no. She must have been taking off her dress to pee too. Gotta love getting nude in a public bathroom. Haha
mynameisnotFREDmymomjustcallsmethat
Same when I've told girls they can just pull their swimsuit to the side to pee instead of taking the whole wet suit off
mynameisnotFREDmymomjustcallsmethat
I told my 5 year old neice this and she thought it was amazing
literallyjustsomedude
Doesn't really work as well as you think for a female.
mynameisnotFREDmymomjustcallsmethat
I am a female?
literallyjustsomedude
Congratulations.
TheMovieGalaxyQuest
The "I hate this part" is a 10 year old greentext being reposted as "my friend" for the hundredth time.
Bonesy84
Let people have fun
Imjusthereforthecomments
It's just such a dumb thing to lie about.
Kiriande
Had to scroll way too far down to find this. Yes, I remember this as a greentext about their first date or sth?
johnnyratbastard
I think people being goofy-stupid is really endearing.
Eli93
I have done the oven thing as a joke before. Coincidentally I was 24 at the time... Huh.
B0ULLIE
At least it's got some innocence to it
johnnyratbastard
That’s what it is, innocence.
wellitseemedlikeagoodideaatthetime
Well then your going to love America
johnnyratbastard
Goofy-stupid, not scary-stupid.
kythorn
My ex once drained a can of chicken broth.
Lightshadow688
This made me audibly LOL
snoffler
Thats amazing XD
FoolorFox
I did that once, accidentally thinking it was a can of beans, and I was so sad.
DoseOfDiscontent
But why? Did they think there was chicken at the bottom?
valen00
I think they mean drank?
DoseOfDiscontent
I thought that too but thought that was just disgusting and not like a misunderstanding.
minqapoc
No. They mean drained. as in 'let out the liquid, keep the chunky bits'
Erren
When I was a kid I hated putting ice cubes in my drink because it splashed everywhere. Years later I put the ice first and my brain imploded
macturlock
Oh the rude awakening when we finally see them...
Pats0r
For real? When there is gas in your soda, half of the gas is gone when you put in the ice first. Just film your glass, and slide in gently
BlastFX
Put ice first, pour water over it to melt the surface of the ice, drain water, pour soda. Even less degassing and your soda is chilled.
UniversalEngineer
Howeeeeeeee
Instructions unclear... got my dick stuck in the ceiling fan.
whatcouldgowrong
So you took it apart and then fucked it?
dancinshroom
Or if you cool your soda first it doesn't turn immediately to foam when you pour it into a glass with ice.
HeyOhBotchedToe
My rebuttal would be that ice first kills the carbonation (for fizzy drinks) and waters down the drink immediately.
Tenugui
The order of the ice doesn't matter to thermodynamics and ideal gas laws, you just see a faster reaction when you put in ice first.
HeyOhBotchedToe
That last word of my statement carried the weight of my claim. Ice first definitely catalyzes the process due to increased reaction surface.
Tenugui
Ice cubes have less surface area when you add them to liquid? No, you just seem to see more gas escaping when you add liquid 2nd. After a...
Tenugui
minute, dilution and carbonation between the two processes should be equivalent. You don't see as much gas from ice second because it's ...
rosshell2718
What kind of absolute psychopath steps willingly into a cold shower without letting it warm up first?
brianterrel
I always do. Doesn't bother me. My old housemate would "let it warm up" for like 20 mins. Our water heater takes ~15 seconds to max temp.
Raileks
the ones who don't have time for that.
aoimori
Everyone in television and movies. Hollywood is weird and doesn't understand basic activities.
UserSubImgurian
The exhilaration of winter wakens me from my slumber
quzar
The same kind who would be be shook by learning such a thing, and let it spoil his night rather than celebrating and thanking the gf.
rosshell2718
Ha!
syntheticgod8
I think my brain figured I'm meant to use the controls head-on. It feels "wrong" to reach in an work the knobs from a weird angle.
Thesaya
I just hold the showerhead in my hand while adjusting the temperature then hang it up when it is ok
yzmotoxer807
Do one thing each day that you dread. This is a path to discipline.
rosshell2718
I go to work every day. Does this count?
somnif
I just hold a wash cloth in front of the showerhead for the few seconds it takes to warm up.
rosshell2718
Exactly! That’s exactly what I’m saying!
Frogfox
When you grow up with parents on you about wasting water or the youngest sibling who gets the last shower when the hot water is out
FiftyShadesOfCauliflower
I gradually change the temperature to as cold as I can bear before I get out. Great for the circulation.
yogurtgoblin
I do that too and I enjoy the game of chicken I have with the temp.
FiftyShadesOfCauliflower
PS: I used to take very hot showers until I got a few spider veins on my nose and cheeks. Turns out that heat can rupture tiny blood vessels
UnderAchievingBanana
Does that actually cause spider veins?
FiftyShadesOfCauliflower
Excessive heat, yes. You don't have to take ice cold showers, but steaming hot isn't recommended. I haven't had any new ones show up.
Damnenginelight
My SO wipes standing up. He didn't know most people sit to do that. He thinks it's gross to do so because your hand is near the water. 1/2
Damnenginelight
I told him "That's why you lean." And looked at me with such Audacity that I started to snort laugh. 2/2
sistergoldenhairsurprise
A lot of people stand up to wipe. Don't ask me how I know. I was surprised to learn about this phenomenon.
Damnenginelight
But that closes your cheeks, tho.
Tenugui
That's just you assuming 'most people'.
Jacksmashsteel
Growing up I argued with my friends that people do sit they still think I'm crazy
Mokelzwerg
“Oh I hate this part” I’m in tears here!
BustyRumper
Makes you wonder how many times he has bravely made frozen pizza lol. Look down at his hands to see thicc ass calluses
FetteredJuvenescence
Ass callouses? On his hands?
simonsaysabunchofstuff
My wife had to cook lasagne covered for 30 min. We had run out of tinfoil that day. She thought : No problem, I'll just use cling wrap.
RHFiesling
nikkolo
italian here.. why would you cover lasagna in the first place??
RHFiesling
RoundThreeFIGHT
Might be because frozen lasagnas come with plastic film that you cook with it on for most of the process
f1photog
I don't see the problem here. (But then again, neither did she, because cling wrap is invisible!) I'll see myself out.
devytigress
Unwife her.
abraxa
Dunno, I mean... if that's consistent behavior he could get life insurance for her and see what happens.
HoneNathan
oof.
Cpthornswoggler
An old roommate set fire to part of the kitchen while boiling spaghetti, he didnt push it into the water and the pasta caught fire.
bella16885
I'm dumb too cause I'm sitting here thinking what did he do with it? Glad there's a meme
Evi1Gav
An old roommate managed to set custard on fire. Not custard powder, actual custard. No, we don't know how either.
CatatonicCowMoo
Apparently that's pretty common. I honestly didn't know enough people were dumb enough for that to be a problem.
Thanshin
This happens to a huge lot of people the first time. It does look stupid for those of us with parents who cooked, though.
HoneNathan
Ive done that, not set fire to the kitchen but I have set fire to the pasta.
Nuggettt
I set fire to my oven once, i was makeing bread
trigonman3
My ex caught microwave popcorn on fire when she went to the other room while popping.
IHIenshinagogo
Took me way too many years to realize you can just break the spaghetti in half if it’s a small pot......
Wankathon
Put sausages in the toaster
tomroadrunner87
Italian incense
TheFrenchGirl
My husband who is 49yo, who in season feed 20+ hiker in his refuge since 1994, freak out each time I do that. Apparently it's wichcraft, 1/
TheFrenchGirl
you have to use a LARGER cooking pot. 2/2
RoseinWonderland
They actually catch fire? I always thought that was a meme. I just push them in so they're done (al dente) at the same time.
furriephillips
They used this in Person Of Interest - couldn’t find the clip, but https://youtu.be/-sEdHh1Xjb0
AntivanMilkSandwich2
They do. They burn pretty well, and fast. I know from experience, not gonna lie.
Thesaya
a gas stove issue though.
Alt0n
This chick cooks
WaifuCorporation
Yourpoliticalpartyisaterroristorganization
See what happens when schools get rid of Home Economics from schools?
boomer0001
Because we must know that mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
Yourpoliticalpartyisaterroristorganization
That information has come in handy when im doing my taxes and registering to vote
RollingLettuce
I hope these are true cause they make me feel smarter
Nize426
Well first dude is working on his master's so he's definitely smarter than us in other areas.
jimmyhowlett
That's why reality tv is so popular
Zyrixion
No matter how dumb these seem, I guarantee someone, somewhere has done it and someone else makes them look like a genius.
SeriousSeamstress
Don't worry. I've meant this kind of stupid before. It exists.
gilliamv
You're safe, some of these could have voted for Trump before earning their Darin award.
dyxj
It's like a Darwin award, but no winning involved.
FinnAndJakesTreeHouse
Snoopy101x
Don't blame the individual for this level of ignorance. Blame the generation before for not teaching them the basics.
Glitchoff
Growing up dad and I were never close. He never thought me to shave. The first day I tried I dead
binaryspike
My dad had a big beard and hadn't shaved in 20-30 years. I learned from a coworker to invest in good razors not disposables.
badgerthewitness
Dumb people have been around for a long time. And stupid moments for smart people.
edalton454
There used to be a thing called Home Economics. But that was before we started defunding, and training for the SAT's.
PuzzledCompletely
And it didn't used to be for boys. Boys got shop, girls got Home Ec.
edalton454
Even better were the AG/Trade schools. Life skills.
UlphSvenson
With that attitude, seems this would be you without the luck of having someone there to teach you. Oh wait everyone has someone, right?
theadamabrams
For the strainer and mitts, maybe. But anyone can realize to wait for hot water (you might choose not to, to reduce usage; that's different)
TheObstinateOne
It's more likely that they got in the habit of doing so, but because it's habit: never question it.
KurtHamster
I don’t know, man. If it never occurred to you that you don’t HAVE to step into the freezing water, it might be on you...
Ynigmatyk
Hot things may burn you. Cold things may be uncomfortable these are the concepts normally taught by a child's curiosity.
BruceBannersButtplug
Yeah some of these kind of things are understandable, but others you shouldn't really need to be taught.
VidiVeniThenSheLeft
The little burst of cold wakes me up and invigorates me, idk
KurtHamster
If it’s on purpose, the. There’s no problem. :)
RoseinWonderland
If the parents come from a place with water shortage, I could imagine that they just get in and out as fast as possible. Or if they were too
RoseinWonderland
poor and couldn't afford a lot of warm water. Or if they are extreme environmentalists. In some minds every drop counts.
KurtHamster
True. But I imagine one would be conscious about it in that case.
SalsaBeard
I disagree. There are things you should be expected to be able to figure out on your own.
Philisophyneedsrevival
I train people regularly and one thing you need to know is that common sense doesn’t exist.
SalsaBeard
Common sense is one thing, but basic survival instincts are another.
totoro666
Yes. But no matter how good cards you've been dealt, if you don't know how to play you wont win.
UsernameMayBeSubjectToChange
Or just ask someone? Or these days: find a YT video
binaryspike
"5 ways to take a shower...The 4th one will SHOCK you"
IHugTrees
People like this don’t know that they don’t know. They can’t just ask. Chances are you are doing something stupid you don’t know about too
UsernameMayBeSubjectToChange
If something I do every day is so annoying or painful, I think how I can modify my routine. Any sane semi-intelligent person would 1/
UsernameMayBeSubjectToChange
Because the 'sapiens' bit in homo sapiens means 'thinking'
rjh04
I looked for this post: “common sense” is picked up from watching others. These people lacked good adults in their early lives.
Safebox36
I only recently learned that cutting things into smaller chunks let them cook faster...then again I only recently learned to cook. 1/
TheBMachine
Similarly, cutting things also makes them cool down faster!
Justgoingtooleavethishere
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stir_frying#In_China
CiaranMcHale
This works because it increases the surface area exposed to heat. If you take this to an extreme and chop fine enough to create a powder 1/2
CiaranMcHale
then that might act as an explosive. For example, throwing flour or sawdust into the air near a naked flame can cause an explosion.
CiaranMcHale
In effect, an explosion occurs when a vast quantity of combustible material burns up in an instant.
dietluigi
You forgot the last requirement. It has to be: https://youtu.be/a01QQZyl-_I?t=5
lazerfrog
You can also see this by setting fire to a tin of baby formula... is a thing I have heard
Safebox36
Either way I'm proud of myself for learning such a simple concept and skill. 2/2
AmazingBillPatFan
Keep going with it. Good cooking is so satisfying.
Whackamoley
TV chefs helped me a lot. Chef John on youtube is pretty great if you're looking for more stuff online.
Homosexualsaregay
How did you cook before? Plonk a whole onion on the pan?
Safebox36
Spent two hours trying to boil a large potato ?
Evern
Good on you for learning how to cook. It's a skill set everyone should have, but I'm constantly surprised by the number of people who can't.
moldy1352
I need to learn. Had neglectful parents who didn't show me this stuff and now I'm too tired after work to bother.
shmekie
If you can afford it, a meal kit like blue apron is really helpful. I got for Quar and it has everything pre-measured and recipes w pics
Evern
I can confirm - I didn't use it personally but a coworker who couldn't cook was gifted a subscription and it really got her going.
shmekie
Plus you can try new dishes and cuisines from around the world!
HoneNathan
Try steaming.
neilwatkinsfromaccounting
Hams
hoistedbymyownpetard
In Albany.
minant
Warning: if the Aurora Borealis appears in your kitchen, please contact the fire department.
Nize426
Careful with potatoes. Small ones disappear.
mayodash
I'm proud of you too. I've been learning new dishes during lockdown, it's so exciting once I'm able to cook something on my own
Zipbang
Makes me wonder what my blind spots are.
ChipperCorgi
I mean, up until this year I thought I knew how to wash my hands with soap and water. Turns out I needed some extra lessons...
McSkeevely
Nice introspection!
Matty3D
Usually an inch past yuur left and right eyes.
gunnexx
Youll know when they complain about it in a passive aggressive way and then say that you shouldve known all along... or was that just my ex?
NinjaCyborgCow
6ý55 T sbsb
christ0s
it probably a damp squid sitting on a pedal stool.
lazerfrog
AwkwardlyUncomfortable
I cannot hear or say pedestal without thinking pedal stool
CiaphasWho
I didn’t know popcorn was made of corn until it came up in conversation with my wife....
XthaKung
I looked at a map and realized Texas had a coastline. Blew my mind! Always thought it was like mid desert. In my defence, i'm not from US!
BunnyBooBear69
Ugh i thought Germany was a landlocked country for the longest time. Always was like "how tf do they have a navy." And then i googled. Shame
RevengeIsIceCream
Switzerland has a navy. It’s like 1 boat, patrolling in a lake... ;)
RogerSmithIsMySpiritAnimal
I didn’t know to clamp the toilet brush between bowl and lid to let it drain into the bowl after cleaning it -> until I met my wife. ?????
darthstormer
Greetings from 4 years in the future where you've just transferred this bit of knowledge to me.
CosbysQuaaludes
Oh my fucking God! I WAS WONDERING WHY IT FUCKING THINNED ON THE HANDLE OF MINE, it sits so perfectly now. I feel so stupid. ???
AwkwardlyUncomfortable
Excuse me, what? How did I never consider this...
RogerSmithIsMySpiritAnimal
I know right?!?! No more nasty mildew bog in the brush holder!
Nuggettt
I didnt know until just now oof
RogerSmithIsMySpiritAnimal
YOURE WELCOME!!!
KatetDeFibonacci
This question has terrifying implications.
Kabe59
"fill this por with water and put it on the stove". I emptied the pot on the stovetop
numnut1987
i once assumed female doggs also had ther period once a month, right after those words escaped my mouth i already knew that wasnt right.
numnut1987
still bothers me after 6months.... so fuckin stupid
Jellicoe
At least you knew dogs also do have periods. I've met a few who don't know that at all
TheAnswerWasAlwaysMoreLube
People who own bitches sometimes learn that the hard way.
AwkwardlyUncomfortable
I didn’t know until I was an adult. Though I never had a dog, and hadn’t really thought about it previously
POTUSBrown
They actually don't. It's not considered menstruation. Most animals reabsorb the uteral lining, human are one of a few who don't.
Thesaya
because fuck us.
Richter12x2
Or those times, like ... I've been walking for 30+ years, but what if I'm DOING IT WRONG?
Ashytastic
I had to see a therapist because it turns out I'd been walking wrong, had my feet turned out too far and it wreaked havoc on my hips.
badgerthewitness
And you, sir, are a wise man. Check your own arse before you laugh as someone else’s.
Rignak
I would like to see my index and lookup under "my Himbo traits"
IATTM
storebrandproductmascot
thornlord
cyberimg
As always, people forget about the A-pillar blind spot.
PENlSMAN
Oh man, that was perfect. @extraupvote
ExtraUpvote
+1'd!
PENlSMAN
Your the best
idontenglishsorry
you are also missing those places where your, em, the front windows attach to the car, like, I dont know what they are called in english1/2
idontenglishsorry
this shit on the left
EatsLunchAtBreakfast
I've always known Windshield to Front windows as A pillar, front to back Windows B pillar and pack to boot as C pillar
donkeymoney
I feel like the blindspot is a lot bigger. You'd think ww would have different standard mirror designs by now..
sexytangerine
It depends on how you angle the mirrors. I've seen some ppl angle the mirror to mainly view the car = more blind spots.
JeezusJuice
That’s because your mirrors are set wrong. Set them correctly and there’s like a 1M space where you have a blind spot. And a slight lean to
JeezusJuice
one side eliminates it (thus, you can keep your eyes forward). https://youtu.be/4w5I8iEVghw
Haddadnj
That guy has no right being that charismatic in that video
whatcouldgowrong
YOU DONT KNOW??? Omg guys he has NO IDEA!!!
TheobromineAddict
No kidding, I'm constantly wondering if there's an obviously better way to do whatever I'm doing.
Zipbang
Same, leads me to constantly put things off until it's too late and things are worse off than if I did it the worst way in the beginning!
TheobromineAddict
It leads me to have an enormous collection of tools - always looking for the do-anything Sonic Screwdriver at Home Depot.
PantaloonPrincess
Do you wipe sitting or standing?
ertya17
I have to wipe standing my arms and body is to large for me to fit around them and the seat.
RuthlessRuben
That is utterly dependent on a matrix of factors including, but not limited to: Time of day, grade of inebriation, consistency, amount, etc.
MrCarrOfHerMajestysEmpire
I like to do what I call the George Washington (Crossing the Hudson) and I stand with one foot up on the shitter
lazerfrog
Mind blown. I have so many questions for standing people. Mostly how many have been drunk and fallen on their face doing wipe gymnastics.
MrSaturday
Weekly.
TheBioluminescence
It's not too dizzying if you keep your tilted upwards
jlurosa
Ain't we all wipe while sitted???
TwoBadMiloshDead
We all wipe while shitted
SchrodingerMil
A lot of people wipe standing, personally I wipe sitting most of the way, the stand up to finish.
SvarvSven
I see, so you have a very difficult time chosing sides in general?
Markuspsyches
Toilet habits are a lot like religion. Many have own way learned from their parents, assume everyone is same, learn of others, they're crazy
sdevenhawking
Nope, I wipe standing. Bender over and give it a good old wipe.
Eli93
How's the weather on your planet?
cavedoge
Why get up? I mean. You're not done yet
abandandana
so much easier to access. Stand up, reach behind you, wipe, drop it into the bowl.
mareli82
is there a benifit to whipe standing ......
TBJ1118
Fat people don't reach around while sitting
Richter12x2
Everybody deserves a reach around.
mareli82
Rag on a stick ?
PlatinumMaximum
Not to be insensitive but wouldn’t that dictate a different change in life?
MajorTom0101
That answers it for both crowds.
WhatallWhatnot
Youd think. Just found out my brother doesnt, my god did he get defensive
Slindrin
Did you come at him with a pitchfork? Or an honest question with no judgment?
WhatallWhatnot
It came up in a goofy conversation around a campfire, someone made a joke about wiping sitting and he jumped on all of us and got pissed
Bluntmang
I'm not sure what "standing" wipe means but i have no part of my body touching the toilet when i'm wiping, also my butt is aimed as high 1/
Bluntmang
as possible with cheeks parted and anus flexed ( to REALLY get in there ). Also i use baby wipes to wipe after using toilet paper. 2/
Bluntmang
anything less just makes me feel dirty, and I also feel like most people don't do this; therefore all y'all are nasty.
RoseinWonderland
I wipe standing, but I put my butt out like a duck, which spreads the cheeks enough to reach everything.
numbat
Like a duck?! Omg I am dying with laughter! Cause I do too!
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TheBioluminescence
I stand because I don't want to touch up the toilet and it's a way better reach. How do you wipe right if you stay sitting?
DarthKraken
Not everyone is that flexible, and as a thicc man... I wouldn’t be able to reach my hand back there. Squat-stand it is
Flagrum
This! This guy gets it right! Problem with sitting: can't reach into the bowl to wipe BECAUSE SOMEONE IS SITTING ON TOP OF IT!
NowThatsWhatICallGif
You lean
Lunblom
BruceBannersButtplug
Or do you fold or scrunch the toilet paper?
cavedoge
Fold if good quality tp, scrunch if bad.
victell
both, then a lower-half shower.
koops
Doesn’t everyone use a small hose?
rookie23
Plank position with a towel going like a swing.
Tyco2
My buddy wouldn't wet his toothbrush before brushing. Just load the paste and start brushing.
OverpricedCrayon
Thats a sure fire sign he’s a serial killer.
Tyco2
He claims he now does wet his toothbrush. But I think its just to make him seem like less of a serial killer.
Kittynomnoms
The hell? I wet my brush before toothpaste and also after. It feels like a disaster otherwise.
JeezusJuice
Yeah, this. Wtf.
Tyco2
I'm in the wet before toothpaste group but I hear you.
Kittynomnoms
Honestly I would say wetting before toothpaste is the most important. I just like to do both.
TBJ1118
I feel you but sadly about 50% of people does that, and each faction will tirelessly defend their position
Tyco2
I knew of the wet before or after debate. The no wet faction was new to me.
TBJ1118
Sadly, I was taught "no wet" and spent my first 30 years on this Earth scraping my asshole. Then one day I thought about a better way. Ding!
EmotionalJenga
I have additional questions.
seakoos
My buddy owns a VW repair shop and I was hanging out. Girl comes driving in with a Jetta, engine screaming a horrible noise. (1)
ScarecrowSticks
EverSeeAnyonePutOnACondomWithACrowbar
As a mini owner myself... I don’t see the problem
DrNick
Hey, it might prevent rust!
EverSeeAnyonePutOnACondomWithACrowbar
ScarecrowSticks
donkeymoney
I wonder if this copied the comedian above.
TacoPuncher
Sometimes people really don't know cars, like when (I forgot state)made a law making people pump their own gas. Some just poured it wherever
donkeymoney
It's funny, that's how it works in Fortnite. As an adult car driver, that took a minute to figure out!
Damnenginelight
I had a customer blame us for her battery light being on after we replaced it last service. The battery light was her TRIP METER.
seakoos
Pops up the hood and check the oil. He tells her there's no oil. She says "There was oil in it when I bought it". That car had 40k miles.(2)
yourlocaleconomicsnerd
At that point, just take the whole engine out.
JeezusJuice
Yeah, either rebuild or replace.
EsLaDani
I loved my cabrio but that sucker was hard to take care of on my old salary. I'll get another someday
Skynet2xx
My dumbass uncle never changed the oil on his vw, its a Volkswagen thing
LooseSeall
Wooooooow as someone who absolutely adores VW things - booooo, boo to your uncle
Lurkinglurkertoo
40k is not that much, longlife oil change interval was like 40k km... Wait... 40k MILES. I see my self out
Updoodilydoo
25K MILES BETWEEN OIL CHANGES ARE YOU INSANE??? My car needs it every 5K, most modern ones do 10k
Lurkinglurkertoo
VAG cars have oil change 30k km/2 years. Are you driving a sport car? My Alfa need oils change 8-9k Miles and that is short
Updoodilydoo
I drive an '02 minivan. Most recent USDM economy cars recommend 10K. I wouldn't trust anyone that says 25k is fine
DaNylz
That's just lack of knowledge. While the other examples are surely stupidity.
WookieWookieWookie
No, you have to be wilfully ignorant to have never heard of an oil change. That's the kind of person that just rejects ever learning anythin
WookieWookieWookie
New as they go through life because they can't be bothered. We all learn shit like that by just absorbing it in day to day life.
DaNylz
Ask someone from central NYC or Berlin who has never owned a car before. Your perspective isn't valid for everyone dude.
sorryiguess
A lack of common knowledge, AKA stupidity.
Draxephi
That's not the same, I'd argue.
sorryiguess
I just wanna be a jerk online, not argue. You’re right. They’re not the same, but people should learn basic care for things they own.
DaNylz
Right. Esp concerning the US where the education lvl is so fucking low. Ask a person in Central NYC, HK or Berlin who never owned a car b4.
sorryiguess
You ask them. I’m busy being a stupid American. You’re probably right though, I was just kinda being an asshole.
DeeranFox
Working as a bike mechanic I've had someone come in with a bike to smelled like death. They had grrased their chain with bacon fat
JeezusJuice
WTF.
DeeranFox
That one was the worst. Had Olive oil once and canola oil another time.
Serenitis
VW engines hunger. They need a regular offering to the oil gods, like a mechanical Aztec king atop his ziggurat.
UrbanHerbalist
My VW has done just over 203k miles. (MK4 Golf PD130 diesel) Can confirm that much oil is sacrificed.
Crimesawastin
Double trouble. Diesel AND VW
UrbanHerbalist
Considering it's done over 200k miles and still in great condition, what's the trouble?
TrowelAndError
DoorbyTheHouseShelf
So true... But hey! Less actual oil changes that need to be done!
Serenitis
TECHNICALLY the oil is always changed. The old stuff just goes out via the exhaust rather than the drain bung.
DoorbyTheHouseShelf
My passat is at the perfect ratio where it burns just enough that I need to refill it by the next oil "change". Just gotta do filters.
JeezusJuice
Why? Gasket failures, or? Gaskets on 80s Hondas wore quickly, which led to oil loss. I hear Mazda’s rotary engine eats oil, too, but I don’t
Serenitis
Every stroke a tiny bit of oil gets trapped in the cylinder to make sure it doesn't seize. It gets burnt. Just the way the engine works.
JeezusJuice
think it’s for the same reason.
Uratowel33
Best comment I've read all week. It hurts cos it's true. So much 5w30 to the God of the machine
montyman185
Thanks for the reminder, I've gotta check the oil on my jetta
nickysjords
Those were the days. We could sacrifice whomsoever we liked. Those were the days.
westsidewizard
Panther Jesus don't give a fuck.
Serenitis
The good old days of 10w40 on your altar. Not like modern sacrifice, 5w30 just isn't as... visceral. And its so runny, gets everywhere.
Emanon2
yeah I just got a honda fit, it takes 0w20...
nickysjords
We're not amateurs lathering up some sullen wench in Castrol GTX. We got the job done to God pleasing standards.
Ketheres
I just get leftover fryer oil from local fast food places.
ClassicRand0
Dude we just sacrificed over 140k Americans because we didn't want to wear a mask or stay inside for a few more weeks..
nickysjords
Classic rando.
artisviolent
Bought a car, used, 90k. Just don't ask why. Obvious lemon. When I pulled the oil pan it was black tar with shiny metal shavings.
erbiumyttriumytterbium
Oooooh, shiny ?
SRide82
Worked at a hardware store. Woman comes in to buy quart of oil. Then another. After 3rd I ask if it was that low. /1
SRide82
She says “no but it’s so hard to pour it in the engine with such a small hole”. She was trying to free pour it down the dipstick tube. /2
ImgursLibertarian
Lol.
Ttoften
Will olive oil suffice?
ngowichita
It's going to have to
tanebot
I dunno about for cars but you can use olive oil (or other vegetable oil) as chain oil for a chainsaw. It's better for the environment too!
mavruda
Is Palm olive okay ?
AveryJuanZacritic
Yes, but it might foam a little.
TheDudeanator
For a little bit.
Idontlikeolives
Yup. It doesn't have any detergents, but if it's your only option and you need it to get to a store/mechanic it would work.
JeezusJuice
Unless you’re stranded and happen to have vegetable oil, you’re better off walking to a gas station for motor oil, or calling a tow truck.
Idontlikeolives
Hey, if its a true emergency you're good. Just do an oil change ASAP, preferably in the same day.
LittleLadyChaos
I was told to piss in the tank- but you can only do it once.
Church14
You can actually get away with a lot of oils for a short duration. Trouble is wear and tear increases.
JeezusJuice
**Really** short from the looks of it. https://youtu.be/-ya5GyIHcDA
Church14
My experience is more with diesels. We actually run tests on some of this because we know certain markets will dump anything in the engine
InboxMeGreatDanes
Actually, yes! You'll probably need to refill it every 3 miles, but it'd work, kinda
waeraj
Yeah it would for a time but olive oil has a very low flash point and would burn off quick.
DeclaredJeans
That's a bad idea, but have at it? No but seriously, the heat in the engine would make it boil, which is like not having any oil at all.
JeezusJuice
Someone tested it, of course. Idk exactly what baking oil is in the Netherlands, but... https://youtu.be/-ya5GyIHcDA
JeezusJuice
The flash point on whatever they’re using is certainly higher than olive oil, though.
AwesomeName
Okay, but the other examples were self-explanatory. You have to read the manual to learn that oil needs to be exchanged.
Deadmetal42
If you don't the basic workings of the an engine, you shouldn't be allowed to drive.
unknownmale
where I live that's part of getting your license... you need to be able to do the basics on a car such as check the oil, brake fluid, etc
justhereforthefun
How about the blinker fluid?
unknownmale
if we fell for that quesetion we wouldn't get our drivers license
backrideup9
Please be joking.
AwesomeName
Oil changes are common knowledge. You don't even need common knowledge to know that you can just wait for the shower to get warm.
Raydeeo
I don’t think he is. I agree with him. If you don’t have an interest in cars it is not self explanatory that the oil need changing.
mmagabel365
If you aren't interested enough in cars to know about an oil change you have no business driving one....
phobos535
If you dont know how to check your oil (it even has a warning lamp!) you shouldnt be allowed to drive a car
mmagabel365
What did u think all the jiffy lube/drive thru automotive oil change shops were about?? My 5 year old helps me change the oil in my trucks.
fuselfluppe
That's like... One of the THE things you learn about an engine in driving school!
Dracon27
She knew it came with it to begin with.
Scotia
And? You *should* be reading the manual anyway...
sammygold
I dunno. Strainer = Pot with holes. If you've never seen one, I'm not sure you'd expect it to exist. About the same as not knowing oil