LogicDude
239772
9525
107
Aug 27, 2016 2:27 AM
LogicDude
239772
9525
107
FreddyBenelli
Justin Guarani is still around?
atworldsend
do ryan gosling write that shit, or does he have "a guy"? because it's funny as fuck
AdultingIsScary
I laughed super hard at the one by Conan O Brien but then got really sad because I know I wouldn't have laughed at it 4-5 years ago.
letskissandstuff
This is gold
jbrow457
I legitimately laughed out loud at Hog Face. Awesome.
justaporcupine
KidneyPunch
My god... Never thought of the kids looking through my web history....
JoeHutty
Anyone else catch the Porn bots that were liking some of the posts?
Niceshirtihavethatshirt
ImgurianWhoClaimsToBeAnExpertOnEverything
Is #23 related to who I'm thinking of
tripozornike
Actually. https://www.google.com/patents/US20100272864
Justanotherdad
Yup, yes, yeah, true and validated.
MamasaurusRex88
I feel so guilty
SLUTWATCH
Edible burrito tape is secondary to edible burrito glue, which we actually have. It's called cheese.
cranialbomber
Was I adopted? Yes but they brought you back.
ScottyVick
must be nice to be in Conan's tax bracket
WhoIsTheDodie
We we listening to buffalo soldier when our 4yr old asks whats a buffalo. Our 5yr old says its a type of chicken
anaraxachorious
50% of my upvote for this post is for things i have seen already but looked at anyway.
ceemars
That last one hits a little too close to home.
Spencemurr
Adumption
OldIronsides
#34 I don't have kids and still never go out and do anything. Think of all the money I'm saving!
sapyro
"DAD!!!!! THE TOOTHBRUSH BIT ME AGAIN! GET THE HOLY WATER!"
breakfastwithtiffany
This post was a double treat. 1 for the tweets and 2 for the dad twitter names @iwearaonsie and @dadandburied
scoobydoobydo
What about @goats? ?
SoberSamuel
#3 I don't get it
IChangedit
Young kids tend to ramble once they have your attention. So the kids telling a story but keeps adding to it.
SoberSamuel
Ah, I get it, thanks!
FleshEatingSalsa
These wouldn't make me laugh so hard if I weren't already guilty of most of them.
Iamsofaqueen
As parent can confirm!
MechaNinja
#5 is pure amateur. Your legs are supposed to go numb while you're "taking a shit" for two hours.
antmansclone
I'm not the only one!
dngmyers
My husband *swears* it's just coincidence that he has to take a 1/2 shit anytime I ask him to watch our daughter so I can do something
LurKaiSen
That's how I do it.
Isweartogodthecatmademedoit
Right? Like my kids dont know to look behind the dryer...
MechaNinja
Gotta have a door to lock.
6313326
"Aw, honey, I can't hear you over the fan. Wait til I'm done!"
BoobSnoob
My dad does that!!!!!....
MechaNinja
http://imgur.com/rutxgyj
LongDickMcgee
Ahh funny stuff. Just a few more reasons why I'm perfectly happy with being the fun uncle for now.
revelator
Funcle
LaBix
It is the best job ever. I take my nephews out, load them with sugar, then send them home. That'll teach my sister to break my train set.
BewareTheExplanationButton
Dying... +1
Empurpled
Being the fun uncle who still carries a grudge means sending the kids back to your sister's after two red bulls each, brandishing kazoos.
LaBix
I never thought of kazoos. No batteries makes them the gift that keep on giving.
TheLateAccountCreator
ILovePotatoKittens
Holy crap
swingners
One summer when I was a kid my dad dived into a lake while holding me and froze up because it was so cold and in doing so almost drowned me.
justorderalargefarva
Holy shit!
dweadpiewitwobbits
lol, just lol...
zitronensorbet
That’s still better than being "caught" at the end of the ride, breaking your leg by slamming into your mother’s chest.
TopherTots
God... I'm crying again from laughing, and my girlfriend reiterates how I'm not allowed to have kids.
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
As a former lifeguard, you know what? I'm not gonna save your damn kid. You don't deserve your DNA to spread.
solodia
Dude was riding a slide with his daughter. Seems like a bit of an overreaction.
TIMoonShine
Now I see why "Former"
squidinkmica
As another former lifeguard, stupid parents are what made me quit and I wouldve been very upset had I seen this
ionlyregisteredtosavelinks
I kind of get you anger, but that seemed to be simply a silly, not stupidity-fueled, accident.
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
Do not throw your kid up in the air at the end of the slide. You're really not even supposed to go down with floaties anyway.
Ferne
That just makes me thankful you're not a lifeguard anymore.
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
You and me both. I swear 90% of my saves were from parents doing stupid shit with their kids.
Chicaman
Well jeez I'm a lifeguard and it looks like he was allowed to go down the slide.
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
Unless things have changed from my day (or just a different agency) but he really shouldn't of, but still don't throw your kid in floaters.
calldrdaley
I did this once and her leg caught under me and we slid to a halt before we reached the end
shmopplesandbanonos
Oh dear god
IncognitoCube
What?!? (Guessing) 150-250lbs of parent on top of a toddlers leg, completely stopping the both of you?? Please elaborate
calldrdaley
We weren't going that fast. I probably braked myself after noticing. Either way, I now have them sit on my lap when sliding together.
IncognitoCube
Oh... Okay. *wipes sweat off brow*
calldrdaley
Yeah sorry, no serious injuries sustained. Just LOTS of crying and panic.