it was my birthday...

Aug 19, 2016 10:57 PM

EDWARDMACARONlFORK

Views

69903

Likes

2094

Dislikes

566

My grandma buys me weed for my birthday every year.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I got cash for my graduation and I bought sex toys;)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*Facepalm.......smile*

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wouldn't have been so creepy if they'd just given you the gift cards...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're fucking weird

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Good for you, that shit's expensive. Most difficult purchase to make because it's like "$50? I dunno, Righty & Lefty are doing an OK job..."

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As they never had that option, one of your parents was born.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Tenga Flip Hole is better... you'll thank me later

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fleshlights are great - improved both my stroke & stamina since getting mine. Don't go cheap on the lube though, the good stuff is worth it!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

No one wants to rub the skin off their dick. I can tell you that it fucking hurts.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Eww.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bought a canine dildo with an Amazon gift card from my great grandmother....

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Can I borrow it?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

They are only $33

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Always wondered, does it actually feel better than just jerking off?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I asked my grandparents for a Fleshlight and that night grandpa sent grandma to my room.

9 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 9

Plenty of flesh.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Stay classy Imgur. Stay classy.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

@ruffcats

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Best part was no clean up necessary afterwards, Grandmas always swallow.

9 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 2

This one granny I knew sucked me dryer than a dry towel.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

This hasn't been the first or last time i have seen this confession bear. Also july 29th is my birthday, what are you trying to say OP?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Do you live under a rock? Did you not visit imgur on that day????

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We paid for my husbands outstanding warrants with money we received at our wedding...

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Married outlaw, now have in-laws

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

Comment better than the post itself. Shine on you crazy diamond

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm just upvoting your username

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So? I don't see the problem.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As the great philosopher Jim Jeffries once stated - "I fucked a rubber cunt!"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But fleshlights are more expensive on amazon and from what I've seen, the selection is rather limited.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

But asking my grandparents for giantsextoysrus.com gift cards would be rather awkward

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

Prepaid visa.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This guy knows his flashlights.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Fleshlights*

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Autocorrect wins again.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

He's a scientist

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My +1 was your 1,000 upvote. Celebrating depravity one step at a time.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Cheaper than financing a teenage mom.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You can buy fleshlights on amazon?!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ebay is cheaper

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm hesitant to buy anything on ebay and sex toys... I think I'll stick with japanese sites.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

well. on the bright side you haven't financed their watermelons

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My friend was wondering which one you would recommend

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

awesome, i hope you don't think of your grandmother's denture-less mouth every time you use it!

9 years ago | Likes 830 Dislikes 8

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Oct 21, 2024 11:41 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Sorry man, guys credit goes to this guy

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 8

Well, hello there, Satan. Still going strong, I see.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

...... And now you will...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Savage

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Fuckin lollllll

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

HA! All of my grandparents are dead!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Welp, that's enough internet for me!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He will now....

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Zing

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Username checks out

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This was the cold, calculated comment I needed in order to sleep well tonight. Ty.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Im logging off.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Okay

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

He will now

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I know I will.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Jesus man well done

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

God damnit.... Anyone want a very gently used fleahlight? I've only had it about 2 hours . Will wash it real good before selling

9 years ago | Likes 454 Dislikes 16

Wouldn't be the first time I bought one of those.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And I was literally just about to use mine. Thanks.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If I pay extra will you skip washing it?

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

Hey, $20 bucks is 20 bucks

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'll take it

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dibs

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Liar you still gonna use it!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Give it to your grandpa, it'll probably remind him of your grandma. Hell, save her the trouble of popping out her dentures.

9 years ago | Likes 303 Dislikes 1

This just got better and better haha

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Save her the tmj

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Classic

9 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 0

Damn The burns on this one go deep.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Jesus Christ..

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You don't deserve to own it if it's "gently" used. You gotta use it like a 2 dollar whore!

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

A for effort. C- for execution.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Sorry I'm new

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I bet after the first 2 inches I bet it's like new

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 2

I bet

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Just like your wife...

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

Shots faar'd.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I just yelled "oh snap!!" And my roommate told me to get off imgur xD

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

Jokes on you I'm single in the womb and single till the tomb

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0