Abbeel
344388
6903
195
Apr 9, 2015 12:29 PM
Abbeel
344388
6903
195
DovahkittyRox
That escalated quickly
LizardEnterprises
If you think your significant other is cheating on you, you should not be in that relationship; a relationship without trust is doomed
qwertical
because of stalkers we won't deliver flowers without a name
Alexander412
Well that escalated quickly
neeks64
Skipped steps one and two. Covered in blood. I never read instructions.
8bitTunes
ammonia your entire house.
DiabeticBoy
Ha! Significant others. Hahah- oh shit.
YoureAWolfBoy
I thought it was send them flowers with no name. If they aren't cheating they'd likely thank you for the flowers or something like that.
makid2k7
You could always walk them up to the person who you think their cheating with, and see if their phone connects to the WIFI
kootiepatra
I would leave my flowers at work, because then I would see them at work & it would make me happy... Isn't that the point of flowers at work?
iyamgurting
no silly, its suppose to be an expensive game of fetch that humans play.
adobesubmarine
I don't have a single jacket or umbrella at home anymore, because they just accumulate at work. #1 would utterly fail with me.
araluen7
There are 3 types of people
matriciu
I'd go with #3.
IAmTheMasterCommanderWhatThePoop
I like number 3
TheCaptainSteve
Well that escalated quickly.
jdarrow86
Also check the bathroom.... I caught the guy my ex-wife was having an affair with hiding in the shower.
TheStaffmaster
well, some people shower after sleeping with bullshit, go figure.
iyamgurting
yeah you and every other video on a site that ends in hub.com
jdarrow86
Still occasionally get nervous when I see a closed shower curtain in the bathroom...And this was 10 months ago.
ImVeronicaCorningstone
I also get nervous when I see closed shower curtains but...I watched a lot of scary movies as a kid
BigBallofDoom
Is this legitimate?
jdarrow86
Yes. I just got divorced in February from my now ex-wife...We had a loft apartment and I got home from work training and found her naked
jdarrow86
on the ground. I walked by her and saw the curtain in the shower was closed and it never is. I opened it to find a 275 lb guy hiding naked
jdarrow86
when she answered the door. She tried to tell me to let her get dressed and go on a walk with her but I saw a pair of shorts that werent
JohnnyNameless
Storytime!!!
jdarrow86
Long story short...was gone for work for 2 weeks..came home and she answered apartment door naked.. tried to get me to leave with her..
jdarrow86
I tried to save the marriage but it didnt work and we are now divorced.. For some reason I really miss her still. She never gave me a reason
jdarrow86
saw a pair of shorts way too big to mine on the floor. Walked by her and found a fat guy hiding in the shower...it was a coworker of hers
chuckletruck
That escalated quickly
Abbeel
Insanity Wolf escalates things like stairs that move.
DefinitelyNotDoctorWho
Favorited for later use...
teawednesday
That last one is relevant to my interests and everything I believe in.
MissInformed85
For all the people saying well Id leave them at work, you'd still say thank you to your SO r mention them one way or another.
TheOnlyWazzup101
6666 points
pbbbtMeg
I don't cheat and I always leave flowers at work. Why frock would I bring them home? I sit at my desk more than any other place.
levetiracetam
Well that escalated quickly
PrimePowerOn
@INoLongerCareBoutThisName
ninmonkey
I feel like insanity wolf should be to not bring it up, and just continue the relationship.
ahotpotato
HIVE
ninmonkey
Not enough Vespene gas.
INoLongerCareBoutThisName
Well that escalated quickly
PrimePowerOn
@levetiracetam
ahotpotato
MIND
Weelildragon
Plot twist: She thought a creepy colleage sent those flowers. Then she gets her phone stolen. Really freaked out. Then she was approached..
Weelildragon
In an alleyway. She quickly turns around and stabs her persuer in the neck. Turns out to be her boyfriend.
Weelildragon
Plot twist twist: She then places the second knife she was carrying in his hand and whispers: That'll teach you not to trust me".
Irrationalfearofdolphins
It's nice to see a proper Insanity Wolf.
cupcakesandunicorns
When my SO sends me flowers at work, I tend to keep them there.. mainly because we have a really stupid cat who eats anything flora related.
iyamgurting
seems like an excellent excuse to get a dog
cupcakesandunicorns
We have one of those too :D he's our adorable kitchen floor cleaner
Barley426
Yes but you'd thank them when you got home, I think this meant if they didn't mention it at all then you could be suspicious.
cupcakesandunicorns
Of course... but I was just throwing my two cents into the ring :)
ninmonkey
Smart cats do it too. At least one of my two cats is smart. I'm not going to name names, but, they know. They know.
cupcakesandunicorns
haha! Mr. Sniffles is fairly smart, but he only has 3 teeth so when he tries to attack a plant.. he's pretty much just gumming it >.< silly
ninmonkey
Maybe it's time to get dentures
cupcakesandunicorns
That is terrifying.. and I work with dead people lol
azureraptor
Dr. Isles? ;}
ninmonkey
Medical examiner? Embalmer?
010000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001
Or u can just ask...
mirinuranus
Like a reasonable person? Are you mad!?
TexanScrubLord
FUCK REASON
MyMixtapeMeltsSteelBeams
Let's get hypothetical. Situation 1: SO is cheating and OP asks them if they are, what are the chances of them actually admitting it? 1/?
ninmonkey
Well, Eisenstein came home and told his wife about his affairs. I'm not saying everyone is like him, just that it happens sometimes.
MyMixtapeMeltsSteelBeams
That said, the flower idea has a fuck ton of flaws itself. The point is, the situation greatly changes how the reaction should handle. 3/3
HelloYesThislsDog
Pretty high I think. Confronted to the question, either SO will tell the truth or her/his face will turn red. At least for most people.
MyMixtapeMeltsSteelBeams
Situation 2: SO is not cheating and OP asks if they are, SO likely to be offended that OP thinks so little of them, OP's on the couch. 2/3
BHObiWanKendoobie
Or hire a PI...
wowTheUsernameWasAlreadyTaken
Or ask..
Skades
Because that works..
wowTheUsernameWasAlreadyTaken
Well, it sure is the most honest way. Not to get tangled up in all that other mess of distrust and spying.
CanadianRedneck
Mmmmmm, pi; http://madlabmg.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/homer_drool.jpg
oasisamid
but make sure his name is Magnum.
BHObiWanKendoobie
This is a necessity
Barbado
To see if Jenny goes to meet Zach for kisses?
giometrygio
and maybe touch it a little.
aguywithabike
TheFlyingHellfish
I have no context in the matter so how much would a PI cost?
gablestout
$3.14
Abbeel
lol How much money do you have?
VodkaReindeer
'bout 10k a week.
BHObiWanKendoobie
Batman.
Jameszombob
or just pay for the flowers, call them up and say they won them and ask where and who they want them to go to.
mirinuranus
I got about uh tree' fiddy
rebel9
I am 7 minutes too late.
JustCallMeBean
$3.14
Texantioch
You clever fuck!
Abbeel
That's going to cost you at least tree fiddy.
JustCallMeBean
All I wanted was a pi though...
Abbeel
You're missing 14159265358979323846264338327950
BuddDwyersManillaEnvelope
I'll try these on each of my three girlfriends and report back.
iyamgurting
33% chance of going to jail. the more you know.
CheezeWhiz
Okay, tell my mom I said "hi"! Haaa! Got you good, bitch.
Paralellex
"Can you believe my girlfriend thinks I'm cheating on her? Anyway, want to go out tonight?"
chemenger8
"And you know what she had the nerve to say to me? That I smelled like I been at the titty bar. So the FUCK what?!"
dolphindreamsandsatan
You better fuckin' deliver, OP!!
TimeFoDat
Are you done? How'd it go with the 2 that are left?
BuddDwyersManillaEnvelope
Well one is bloody pissed.
BuddDwyersManillaEnvelope
Well actually bloody/pissed. The other two were actually cheating on me. Total Success!
FappingGorilla
You have a third hand?
Sanktw
Two feet atleast.
creatingusernamesgivesmeanxiety
Some people are reeeeeaaaaaaallly good at the butterfly stretch
FatsbyTheGreat
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/20131223/4933055/gamestop-christmas-kid-yaaayy-o.gif
diam0ndd0g
omg i forgot about that commercial. made me laugh so fucking hard when i first saw it
ChestPube
No, but I do have a third leg.
MrAgnosticman
Awww shit son!!!
TheFuckingBoogeyman
Fuck, I keep swiping to the next post just as I read these epic comments, then I have to come back to up vote.
ellisDtripp25
Aren't you funny
housev1l
¯\_(ツ)_/¯_/¯
JukeMasterFlex
Says the fapping gorilla..
TheBlackShakes
In a way, gorillas' feet are almost as good as hands
zackofspades
Dude has FOUR girlfriends.
CarlTheLlamaBoy
Boyfriends*
DarthMaulOfAmerica
[ ] not rekt [x] rekt
zackofspades
[x] shRekt
FroggyFae
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/612/714/c50.gif
LeQna12
[x] REKTangle
azureharri
Why the fuck not? [x] Tyrannosaurus REKT
MBJmartin
He uses his foot
iamthisguy247
Left Hand, Right Hand, Between Mattress and Boxspring.
Royoyoy
3? Pffft, amateur. This guy had 17: http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-32194530?ocid=socialflow_facebook
wytac
http://img.pandawhale.com/77053-Im-not-even-mad-thats-amazing-X713.gif
hogjockey
17? That's practically a full time job right there.
DavidIll
Damn can u imagine 17 women? I can't even remember my families birthdays let alone 17 girlfriends.
MyNamesMace
My cousin just told me about this minutes ago
liliputian7
A little bit of Jessica
StormageddonDarkLordOfAllAKAAlfie
this is the best thing ever in the history of things.
InfiniteBreadStickss
I wouldn't bring my flowers home. My cats would eat them. So that logic is flawed.
iatecerealthismorning
I didn't realise this was a thing until I got a kitten. Now I can't have plants
UnpopularOpinionPuffinPersonified
The logic is that they should at least acknowledge you got them flowers. If they don't it's likely they don't want to risk that it wasn't u.
misskittyamazing
Not everyone works in an offer. Or at the same place every day. Example: I call in everyday, am assigned a different location every day.
SmileyBonesArt
Then, in retaliation, I'd eat you.
InfiniteBreadStickss
Noooooo!
UH60Mechanic
I wouldn't put them in my car, too much shit to clean up. Also, I think flowers are dumb, but the logic is definitely flawed all the same.
Necropants
Same. I have a 45 minute drive home through stop-and-go traffic. I don't want to bring a vase full of flowers home through that.
TF2215
I'm sure there are other options you can do that are similar. No one situation will work for every single person on earth
AliasPeterJones
So maybe someone can explain the logic behind the flowers one?
UnpopularOpinionPuffinPersonified
The logic is that at least they will come home and acknowledge you gave them flowers. If they are cheating they won't risk that it wasn't u.
AliasPeterJones
Ahh ok...they key word missing is "anonymously send"
zviosif
yeah but you'd at least go to your SO and say "aww, thank you for the flowers." or something.
atwdadu
If I got flowers it'd be like "Hmm nice looking things that have had their roots cut off and will wither and die" - as usual a mixed message
ninmonkey
You smell nice, but then you decompose and ruin it.
InfiniteBreadStickss
Mine wouldn't send any too. He sends food. He knows the real way to my feels. But yea I would thank him for them.
ninmonkey
So your cat likes icecream too.