ebbydebbydoo
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Wooooh Front page baby!!
For my front page edit I present the people of Non-Australia the love story that shook Staya.
Pt1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85ubtVs5n6A
Pt2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFYaNmhEeKw
Pt3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnJYxgTvNPI&list=PLfU1WOk6P83CkbrZjrR22cq3zzIiZPrgl&index=5
Pt4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DfgnaxZzEY&index=6&list=PLfU1WOk6P83CkbrZjrR22cq3zzIiZPrgl
This seriously Ingulfed Australia for like a year and a half.
Fun fact. Only 2% of Aussies live in the yellowy shitty part.
DildorTheMighty
There were several Australians in my eve online alliance back in the day. They were all awesome, I miss them :c
miraquiTOMA
I love MILO!
Csel
i have Ovaltine, but no Milo
natachan
Just not the same. Though ovaltinies are fun to eat.
grarik
Rhonda and Katut, the greatest love story ever told
RingoStalin
I left Australia 4 years ago and I have no idea what that's a reference to. But I still remember that woman's dissatisfaction with Jan.
ebbydebbydoo
Not happy Jan!
Luchalma
As an American currently in Australia, this is all accurate. A country as beautiful as it is horrifying.
notmyfirstchoiceofusername
If that goat ran for PM, he would win. In a landslide. He's a sick cunt
natachan
Yea boi
StarBurstExtra
Gazza for PM
tomalt
Fuck yes. Turnbull vs Shorten vs Gary. Gary would rock that shit.
Gondagre
What is love? Deffas not aussie, not aussie. Ya cunt.
pongau11
On the first one, aren't you supposed to remain calm so that you don't spread the venom by increasing your heart rate? Am I making that up?
llllewellllyn
Not necessarily. Venom spreads through the lymphatic system and not the bloodstream, part of the reason why tourniquets are no longer used.
KangarooConcern
we use pressure bandages though, if its on a limb you wrap down and then up with a bandage and then keep the limb still.
MetalSkeletal
As someone who lives on the QLD/NSW border, shark attacks have become so common that I've taken to eating breakfast before my surf.
themagneticzeros
in byron bay/ballina? so many shark attacks going on there...
BakonCheef
Try WA
ooshwiggity
Because vegemite works as shark repellent??
Iddomehellidevenpay
No because you need your strength if you're going to fight those fuckers off
Berethian
The Australia Day one isn't wholly accurate. They gave us a holiday after the weekend to make up for the otherwise missing one, that's all.
Berethian
Australia day itself didn't change.
Whitz
yep, and that is quite common. It's always Jan 26
willunconditionallydownvoterepoststatistics
Somebof us mericans work stupid early.
DisturbedRanga
Aussies make up about 0.003% of the world population yet since 1580, about 42% of all Shark fatalities were in Australian waters.
TotallyLost
Well, we are an island surrounded by sharks. Also, we love swimming/surfing, so...
midnightowl79
Represent!
R0B1N86
well it has over 10,000 beaches so it kind of make sense.
BasicCarl
As a Californian, Christmas songs aren't too accurate either.
Un1tT13
I don't know what part yout in but in gets freaking cold over here some days O.o
SwiftMustacheMan
As a Canadian: Help. Too much accuracy.
Theertzuinianer
Congrats for voting out that shit cunt Tony Abott you sick cunts!
SubtleOrc
Cheers mate
MermaidLamby
We didn't get to fucking vote. We don't get a say in shit around here. We changed the face not the problem.
Enrel
As a german, i would really like trying all those australian sweets..
natachan
They are awesome!
ItGotWorse
Pretty sure half of them are sold in Germany, just under a different (and probably saner) name.
Stormingstagesandstereos
PM me your address and I'll send you some :)
seir
If you do send musk sticks too. Pretty much all foreigners I've given them to hated them. "like soap with sugar" was one description
SleepyFaraday
What?! Sacrilege!
TotallyLost
I've wanted to do this trade with foreign Imgurians, but then I saw our postage/shipping costs.
ChickenBLickiens
MiniCheddersAreMyKryptonite
Minutes late they fine you for J-walking
CindyTheTVsLeaking
Ah... Queensland. Fun fact: usually when something weird happens in Australia, the local custom is to say 'Ah, Queensland' and nod knowingly
DragonOnSteroids
Is there actually any context to this or did it just happen?
ChickenBLickiens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=7&v=Q5MPICXtTeA
Hedgehogie
Ah, the Nutbush. Our land's national dance.
AwesomeGuy847
I'm not sure if one is mocking the other or not.
machton
Is this a thing? Are they dancing to a certain song?
MetalSkeletal
Eyes on the road Rhonda - Aussie proverb.
spylady
More like "use ya blinker cu**"
InboxMeYourBostonTerriers
#TeamKetut
[deleted]
[deleted]
InboxMeYourBostonTerriers
Me too. But then! The ending...I am so glad to have found this and I must visit Australia soon.
TheDickofDestiny
You mean, Rhonda RAussie?
natachan
Help me Rhonda, help help me Rhonda
warnasaurus
You look so hot today Rhonda ...like a sunrise
SubtleOrc
Fuckin lol
hosdfo
Kiss me Katut
IFuckingLoveGoldenRetrievers
Hahahahha
knightmatt17
As an American, don't wait until we're asleep to post Aussie stuff. We like it
Nightelfbane
Implying that I ever went to bed. I got kittens to bottle feed.
shadykit
PICTURES!!
Nightelfbane
Okay it's actually just the one kitten and I don't have the pictures on my computer yet
jojomymathteacherwearsgoggles
"Oi mate, where's me trakky-dacks?" I'm an American and that keeps repeating in my head, in an accent...I can't stop it
SubtleOrc
You got the nuances right. We say me instead of my
TotallyLost
"Ya fucking wearing them, dickhead".
thenakedchicken
Fucking christ it's a cattle station not a bloody ranch. We have jackaroos and jillaroos and I'm so not even kidding
MyOath
Finally. Someone had to say it.
birchy1
Plus it’s Anna Creek Station. Not Anne ♀️
TheNighthawkeCaws
natachan
Bout right, I hate koalas
Groznek
Oh dear
Fuckweasel
From my favorite commerical! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTHOzO69t1E
seanconorrhea
Wtf lol
Fuckweasel
It's from this commerical: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTHOzO69t1E (I love this!)
TheDowagerCountess
I've seen Tim tams at the grocery store here in Canada. I hear they are yummy.
Thurmanjr7
Girlfriend is an Aussie, can confirm Tim Tams are essentially crystal meth.
SubtleOrc
Stop fucking our sheilas, mate
Thurmanjr7
Am I being a shit cunt?
SubtleOrc
Nah goodonya
drunkill
Yeah, I think in America they are Arnott's Chocolate or something shitty like that (same product though, dumb name) Go buy some.
DisturbedRanga
Arnotts is the name of the company, Tim-Tams the name of the biscuit.
drunkill
Yes. I know. But in America they are called Arnotts Biscuits, instead of Tim Tams.
ohdeepthought
You bite opposing corners off and use it as a straw too drink your milo so it becomes gooey on the inside :D
lowsanity
Tim Tam slam.
TheDowagerCountess
OH THOSE ARE THE COOKIES??!? My friend told me about them! Literally gonna go buy some today
saryky
I usually bite a bit of either end off and suck hot chocolate through them. Then eat the thing 'cos it's all gooey and twice as chocolate-y!
ohdeepthought
In Australia we have hot milo, hot chocolate is acceptable but milo is the one true form
TheDowagerCountess
I seriously went out and bought them, made tea, and did exactly that... It was quite a magical experience!
MyOath
A new member of the Tim Tam Slam Club.
housev1l
As an American, I enjoyed this. Also, HA! I'm still awake because I'm irresponsible.
AsinusAdLyram
I'm still awake because I'm an unemployed insomniac!
lovemonkey11
Woo!
LeftCollectionBlueBird
I'm an American that was partially raised by an Australian. He's since moved back and I hope to go see him sometime.
AsAnAussie
Go back to sleep!
Eldibs
Freedom never sleeps.
woodwardja12
Username relevant
ohdeepthought
Oh my god that's Gary the goat! He won a case because police fined the owner because gary ate public grass.
AverageSexGod
Was about to ask for context, thanks.
DisturbedRanga
For some reason when you said 'case' I automatically thought 'case of beer'.
coffinnail
Fucking Gary! I was wondering if that was him!!
tregz
Gazza and Jimbo are national treasures.
ProtoChaud
See, I read that as 'pubic grass', and almost had a lot of questions about Australian anatomical differences.
Danishlmgurian
You really don't have a lot going on down there, do you.
ohdeepthought
Gary is sort of well known in Australia because he travels with his owner round oz all the time. He has a fb group
Danishlmgurian
For a goat? That's either genius or unique.
Crimsonak
I loved it when he took part in the fun run.
SirSnickleFritz
I like that flip flops are thongs. As an american, I too call them toe thongs.
Squeezit
When I was a kid we used to call flip flops thongs. Dunno when I stopped.
MajorWaffleCopter
So what is an American thong called in Australia?
Technix
G-string
Leijin
in Austria they're sometimes called "Zechn-Tangas" which is also toe-thongs ^-^
SirSnickleFritz
Australia sounds like my kind of place... minus the giant eight legged NOPES
Leijin
yup... would also want to visit some time :)
Ironsloth159
thats why theyre called thongs, they do the same to your toes as the other thongs do to your ass
SirSnickleFritz
I got that. Thanks for the clarification lol
Ironsloth159
just making sure. its like 1.45am and i'm only up to watch the rugby haha
GlitterInTheDarkNearTheTannhauserGate
always funny to see Americans refer to fannypacks cos fanny means vagina in nz
FedEXguy
What does the one about loving a man named Katut mean?
BigfudgeDrshokk
Oh god I wanna hear that one too
aipaca
It was an ad campaign for insurance or something with a woman named Rhonda and she goes on a holiday and meets Katut, its a beautiful tale
FedEXguy
Thanks
GothicMonkey
if you're still curious, op edited the post to include the ads!
FedEXguy
Ah, sweet, thanks
MetalSkeletal
Good work cunt.
MetaAdInfinitum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfhT-UZWs8o#t=4m30s Set in Britain, but it gives you an idea what a big deal it is for some in the America.
Lefog98
Sick Cunt!
18yearoldBlackDynamite
"Did someone say sick cunt?" -gynecologist, probably
medicofdeath
STRAYA CUNT
genericwhiteguy
You're an ankle - Much lower than a cunt.
Shady767
Shit cunt or sick cunt?
Marciluphigus
*sickcunt
guichequiche
On ya
MoccaFixer
hey CUT!
yoshifreak
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma4uv0facT1r7yfem.jpg
DirtyDeedsDONEWITHSHEEP
Cunt
greenroom628
noice
racquetman75
95% of the internet can't grasp that "Good work cunt" and "Good work, cunt" have completely different meaning and it makes me sad.
Wormbo2
TTHHHIIISSSSSSS!!!!
SweetBabyJesusBaconFlavoredNutellaMountainDewApplePieMooQuack
fuck off.
Freakshow198
Ironically, this is a normal beginning of a sentence in Australia
Hazz2Matt
mate, hav a beer n' cool down
Hazz2Matt
mate, hav a beer n' cool down
TotesNotTheNSA
Dont be a shitcunt. Be a sick cunt
MetalSkeletal
Oi! Don't be a shit cunt.
NotFunt
You're on hell of a sick cunt, mate
holyshityoureright
Too right. Only sick cunts allowed around here.
ummahhidunno
As an australian, i enjoyed this
AdelineThatsMeYo
Wanna be internet pen pals!?! I want to know as much as I can bout Australia.
schulzie
What do you want to know?
AdelineThatsMeYo
Anything and everything. Really just want a cool pen pal.
HarrietHolden
As a Kiwi, I enjoyed this
OSCgal
As an American who's been to Australia, I enjoyed this.
missladymondegreen
do you live in the yellow, shitty part?
snakeoilsalesman
Watch out! They're awake!
TinyLiehon
As a Belgian, I too enjoyed this
joshsplosion
As a non Australian, I enjoyed it as well
DownvotePolice
As an enjoy, I australianed this
Thecharrer
As enjoy an, australianed this I.
gimme
Me too, particularly the tracky dacks reference. I like to change into my trackies in the arvo.
BaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaBATMAN
Nah, yeah.
SubtleOrc
Yeh nah
AsAnAussie
Me too :D
yoshifreak
As a fellow Australian, so did I. And now I also want a pet platypus...
TheSwedishCryptid
I would love to live in Australia but the most dangerous thing we in Sweden got is the wolves in Stockholm's inner forest
LastElf
As another Australian, I love that the entire nation, without coordinating it, will band together to troll foreigners
schulzie
Well someone has to warn them about hoop snakes
pyronyzen
Especially the Drop Bears.... twas dark days on 9/11... 9th November
Klvngrdnr
The one with the lollies made me laugh so hard i nearly blew my pfufu valve.
ebbydebbydoo
Reference game on point!!
drunkill
They forgot to mention Fantales though. I them a bit more compared to Minties.
DancingPanther
FOSTERS, AHSTRALYIN FUH BEEYA
ApatheticDropbear
Australian for piss in a can we sell to dumbcunts.
BeefyMcSteak
Fosters is actually Australian for Kangaroo Piss
mantysaippua
Do you really renamed mcdonalds?
AsAnAussie
Temporarily, some promotional stunt
ummahhidunno
What is mcdonalds? Is that like maccas but for fancy people? (yes we do i dont know anyone who says mcdonalds)
aleister94
Is the not having a winter part true because I heard there actually is a winter In Australia?
DisturbedRanga
We have winter in July. I wouldn't even call June or August winter because it still gets to 20+ celsius.
aleister94
Cool on an unrelated thought are there any American stereotypes that Americans are maybe unaware of? I'm just curious
SubtleOrc
Our winter is when it goes from unbearable hot to just comfortable hot
NSPike
As an Aussie - I have a question. Do you also call 'trakky-dacks' just 'trackies' for short. In UK it's tracky-bottoms for the trousers 1/2
NSPike
Or 'trackies' for short - can refer to either top or bottom part. But who wears the top except chavs/Russians anyway amirite?
LadyGrakle
I call them Trackie Bs or Trackie Bums. Tops are just a top or a hoodie.
Stopthatrightmeow
Trackies or track pants are acceptable, but only bottoms. The top is a jumper (or hoodie if it has a hood).
SubtleOrc
Correct. No one but pooftas and Sheilas wear the tops
Thurmanjr7
What the fuck is a drop bear?
BluesAndTheAbstractKnuth
It's a famous hoax. People will try to sell you "drop bear repellent" if they think you're a foreigner.
UnvisibleFixer
Drop bear repellent is either urine or Vegemite, depends on where you come from.
TotallyLost
Similar to a Koala, but during mating season it'll drop from the trees and rip your face off if you get too close.
saganworshipper
A little, cute, grey, fuzzy bear that will drop from the trees and tear your face off.
thisnameisntfunny
My understanding is Drop Bear = Koala. Which, as an American, is horrifying.
Ozimbah
They'll leave you alone if you just put a bit of Vegemite behind your ears.
SubtleOrc
A dropbear it's a carnivorous apex predator koala
Thurmanjr7
Do they ambush random Australians or something?
thisnameisntfunny
Ah, wait. Drop Bear = Fictitious Version of a Koala that does indeed ambush victims. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drop_bear
ChefLes
As an Aussie in Japan, i enjoyed this, not having to worry about drop bears here!
Leijin
how long is the flight from australia to japan? (and how expensive?) if I may ask x)
natachan
About 9 hours depending on where to where. Flights from Japan are cheaper than flights from Oz. Stop over in Singapore or Hong Kong inevit
Leijin
thanks :)
natachan
No worries mate :)
ApatheticDropbear
Don't worry, the drop bears haven't forgotten you....
ChefLes
Wish they had.
AsAnAussie
But now you have Gojira n stuff
trjnz
Literally since Gojira is touring Japan this month http://i.ytimg.com/vi/_-XaaTqOICU/hqdefault.jpg
ChefLes
And packed trains, clothes that dont fit and suicidal salarymen. No drop bears or sharks though! I do wonder why im pissing neon green now.
Carnwennan
Now you have drop-tentacles though.
Whitz
Magpie swooping season has just begun, be glad you aren't around
ChefLes
Jesus i hadnt thought of those in a while.
TakeMeWithYou
What's a drop bear..?
Whitz
Fucking terrifying is what it is
Lumberjackfirefighter
Wondering the exact same thing, let me know if someone answers
SirWadeWilson
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drop_bear?_ga=1.60625773.1338644899.1439644197
Lumberjackfirefighter
hahaha my god! that is terrifying! thanks for sharing the knowledge
natachan
Deadly cousin of koala, they scream like banshees then drop on your head and claw your eyes out.
BALLLSDEEEP69
What about hoopsnakes
TakeMeWithYou
wait really....???
natachan
For true mate.
LavaAxe
http://d3lp4xedbqa8a5.cloudfront.net/s3/digital-cougar-assets/AusGeo/2013/09/10/5600/drop-bear.jpg f'n vicious mate
TakeMeWithYou
You're just fucking with me...
Gnoll
Yeah they are a lot like snipes, those asshole birds that peck your legs to pieces if you get too close to their nests. Cute fuckers though.
TakeMeWithYou
Okay....Straya is fucking with me.
LeftCollectionBlueBird
.. I feel like this is a legend told to children so they behave.
natachan
A cautionary tale to travellers actually
FishieBug4
Like the Mexican Chupacabra