abitirrelephant
76553
2636
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Jan 21, 2021 8:49 PM
abitirrelephant
76553
2636
53
EndersElixir
Skumbo
#1 lol, Missile launcher is a dope name for a cat actually.
mrgreen326
I drink Gatorade mixed with laxatives before every colonoscopy and that's the only time I ever drink it.
Eldibs
#5 I drink Gatorade after work when I work late. I tend to be a little dehydrated and it tastes decent/lacks caffiene.
YourMotherApproves
#2 ummm, have you ever seen a cats penis? It's usually hidden until time to mate, it's scary looking, and painful to the female cats
longielongable
Dummy thicc stealy bois I literally shit my pants laughing and now I have shitty pants.
sentientwookiee
So relatable! Great collection.
Puolitettupuolituttu
#11 Trouserman are nuts.
LoverdeLestat
A+ #1 dump.
Nyralt
I read #13 to my Bf and he just looked at me and without saying a word, got up and walked right out the door. That was wild
itdoesntmatternoneofthismatters
yeetholejones
Natalie Dee is a national treasure and the best thing to ever come out of Ohio. I stand by this.
Zega000
And then the Brit interjected, no no, you wear pants under your trousers.
Undrave
I'm glad Adam Pratts didn't lose his trains.
Dadpool6
#36
XeononSolomon
That part of the fridge is the cheese penthouse
ProppaGanda
#14 oh my your dick
LtColThorin
Dragonfury5
#27 what kinda job is this? We swarm like vultures. I even
LollarE
My Books, My Blocks, My Shoes And My Socks is going to be be added to my karaoke cleaning. Thanks.
gabbyjess
Imagine when they get older and one day hear the original. Start singing....wait, my what?
Walmartstallwithnolock
#19 dummy thicc stealy bois. Ferdaaaa
firesnake
Fuck Lemony Snicket, What A Serious Of Unfortunate Events You Fuckin Been Through You Ugly Fuck.
WadeUnLuminePictor
Fuck you Shoresy!
DokutaPeppa
Solid dump op.
Seriouslyigiveup
Yes very solid. Hard to pass.
atallatallatall
Put your feet on a stool
ariogre
Put your stool on a feet. Wait
MrCoolWhip
I’m the shit in professor researching fringe magic in hopes no one takes my class... but there’s always one.
MrCoolWhip
Shut in* autocorrect just knows I swear too much
wreynor1
Why would anyone pretend they don't want a donut?
WoodyGoodman
For some reason I read #3 & #5 in Mitch Hedberg's voice.
Almaadin
#14 you mean OH MY DICK.
skolyr
#17 My dad's friend changed the lyrics to be "Feel like Makin' Lunch" and food related which I thought was the real song from 6 to about 15.
skolyr
He and my dad would play guitar with everyone singing when our families would get together a few times a year so it was a shock to be sure.
Rifneno
#12 What do we want? TIME TRAVEL! When do we want it? IT LITERALLY DOESN'T MATTER!
shadefang
Could depending on the style of time travel. Turn on the machine and you immediately get out of it. You'll go in at some point.
yaddiex3
#2 So, does your vet hang out with your cat often?
TheRicM
#5 I do drink Gatorade for headaches sometimes, and I think it helps. It's probably the same principle as the hangover remedy
CyranoDeBurlapSack
Y’all know how much foreshadowing was needed to put Ron Weasley into Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw?
IamNotAshamed
how would ron fit into ravenclaw?
CyranoDeBurlapSack
That’s where they put the “others”
IamNotAshamed
I'm pretty sure the others are meant to be in Hufflepuff. Ravenclaw are the smart ones.
CyranoDeBurlapSack
Oh you’re right.
CyranoDeBurlapSack
Hufflepuff are the nice ones
CyranoDeBurlapSack
Sorry I’m quite intoxicated Adt this moment and I’m probably not thinking straight
Pfffftit
Hint: Ravenclaw is where they put the kids with no souls. Trust me, it was in book four.
CyranoDeBurlapSack
I keep telling myself to read the books. One day I shall.
Pfffftit
Full disclosure; I made that up, I was just messing with the Gingers. Read the books though, the movies only cover 35.8%