Bleshoo
12235
2348
90
Felt appropriate to post this today. You learn a lot about yourself when you're the only person you have to focus on. Today, I am proudly non-binary.
Front page edit: Thank you all so much for the kind words and questions. Happy Pride and be excellent to each other!
ispentwaytoolongthinkingaboutthis
Porn? Was it porn you discovered makes you happy? I bet it’s porn
DeVyse3202
That is awesome, I am glad you have found a level of happiness and comfortability.
Sqeezytzatziki
He found his special purpose !
HappyEunuchorn
dreamditcher
Fair play
tzahtman
Honestly, figuring out who you are and what you like can be a long, difficult journey. I'm mid 40s and I still am not sure of either.
BrokenAnimal
You go! I can absolutely relate. I'm slowly discovering that I no longer need to make compromises on...well, everything. I can eat what I want at every meal, spend my time exactly how I want to without checking with anyone, and I'm getting back into old hobbies that there simply wasn't time for before.
Bleshoo
It really is liberating!
Incognito808
Alot of people fall into a marriage for various circumstances. You are free!
Incognito808
You are also about to journey into the 10% and non-binary isn't going to cut it.
twinkwtp
Yes!!! Found happiness when I found myself. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to be on your own
theskepticinme
I’m going on 7 years divorced and am still struggling
HillOfBeans
Maybe some counseling will help guide you to your innate truths and desires. Good luck, I know it's tough and hope you can make your life into what you want it to be.
CelestialSea
My wife told me she was done eight months ago and I was worried that was it for me. After a couple of months moping I started dating, realized she was a narcissist and a huge drain on me emotionally and physically. Met someone really nice recently who seems like a perfect fit! Turns out nice, articulate, intelligent guys may not do well dating in their 20s, but 40s and 50s? I seem to actually be in demand (which came as a surprise to me!).
SilverHornet
20s is a dead zone for the 'stable husband' types, which is an unpopular truth; you find a relatively large number of women humping/dating/serial monogamising a relatively smaller subsection of men, who don't want long term relationships. In the 30s or so they start to become aware of this, or feel their ovaries expiring, and then start looking for stables. (To be sure there are a few women looking for exactly that in 20s, but nowhere near enough with realistic standards to meet market demand)
pocketcthulhu
Good for you @op do what you want. The only argument myself and the wife had about that sorta stuff was she doesn't like me wearing kilts, she lost that argument. Or at least I didn't listen to her argument.
Datsinginguy
Hey, me too! Happier now than I've been in 15 years. I'm working on me now instead of serving her. You go son.
Masotti316
Holy fuck same here man just over a year ago!
Onlyforthiscomment
Is it warhammer 40k?
LadyNetrex
Khanamana324
Good for you.
AntyMatter
Who got the puppy?
Bleshoo
Me originally, but I gave him up to her when I realized I wouldn't be able to give him the attention he needed
AntyMatter
Sorry about that. But I'm glad things are looking up
ThisIsReallyHowILook
I'm going through that now. I hope it gets better, cause it's killing me right now....
Bleshoo
For a while I thought things wouldn't get better, but they do. I had a lot of love and support from friends and family and it's impossible to understate how much that really helps
ecglover
So, you're single now? Congrats, and live long and happy!
nynaeveSedai
Embrace the feeling while you have it, try to memorize it to pull up for the future. Such a blessing to recognize and feel a life high.
Leethesuperflea
Glad you found what makes you happy, and feel good about yourself. I too went through similar situation, wife left me suddenly, saw a therapist, got help and feeling good about myself. Keep on trucking, it gets better!
MeowdLion
Hell yeah, being NB is great!
fformulaa
Not sure why you're being downvoted, miatas are pretty cool
solfinn
Congratulations man! I hope for more joy in your future and then perhaps someone to enhance who you are if that's what you seek.
TotallyNotSarcastic
Butt stuff? Hookers and blow? Not being yelled at daily?
trybuttstuff
Yeah boi!
TotallyNotSarcastic
But fr… happy for you.
gondolph
Not being yelled at daily was such a welcome relief. My digestion calmed down.
TotallyNotSarcastic
GnomeMode
Not being told I wasn't good enough all day every day has been fantastic
CorgisButtsDriveMeNuts
Any tips?
Bleshoo
Music helped me a lot. I would go for walks and just absorb myself in music and think about things
CorgisButtsDriveMeNuts
Thanks!
BobTheSwede
Being in a bad relationship is further from happiness than being single
ionlyregisteredtosavelinks
How did the wife stop you from doing that before?
Bleshoo
She didn't. It was just something I never focused on or thought about in any meaningful way
ionlyregisteredtosavelinks
Better late than never.
SirVG
So you're neither one, nor zero? Cannot CoMpUtEeeeeee *computer shuts down*
tacotaco8288
That’s me to an extent. I’m so lost on how many genders and pronouns we have. I don’t know how to talk to group of people without offending someone. I decided to just stay off of social media and only talk to people I know. This site being the only thing I use now….. for now
painstream
It gets easier when you internalize that a lot of our gendered terms aren't particularly necessary. And you don't really need third-person pronouns when talking to someone directly, so go ahead and engage! Beyond that, be open to kindly correction or politely ask pronouns. A reasonable person will respond, no sweat. If someone does get shit twisted about it, that person's probably not one you want to talk to anyway.
tacotaco8288
English sure I can see that. In Spanish it doesn’t work. Everything has a gender. I think that’s why it’s confusing to me. Because I already have to translate in my head before saying something. And now I have to see how to change words around so it sounds right. This is also why people living in Latin America just laugh at Americans when saying Latinx because it’s definitely a U.S. thing.
Raventhief
So, out of curiosity, what is it that makes you truly happy? Please say it's not cocaine.
Ansph
Hookers and blow
[deleted]
[deleted]
customcartoons
Ooh, that’s what makes ME happy!
IWasACatAllAlong
kayaker01
Cocaine makes me sooo happy I decided to not touch it again 25 years ago.
BigBuckeyeZ
I think cocaine is assumed. The appropriate question is what in addition to cocaine makes you happy?
naughtyrev
What's wrong with cocaine?
dmjalund
Quizz25S
You <3. Specifically watching you from the tree outside your window.
Raventhief
Bad idea. That tree has wasps.
Bleshoo
Growing my hair out, learning to love the way I look. Opening myself up to fashion. I never really thought about that further than throwing on a t-shirt and jeans. Experimenting with clothes has been super fun.
interestingmonster
Thought I was a cross dresser most of my life. Came out as nonbinary/gender fluid whatever 6 years ago! Turns out I just like clothes.I’m very fortunate, the wife is cool with it. I’ve developed a personal style that works for me and her. I’m 59 and wish we had the knowledge of today when I was coming of age. Rock on!!
Sticklebrickk
One of the best things I ever did was spend a day out specifically for clothes shopping. Me and a couple other dudes hit up goodwill and salvation army, got basically a new wardrobe, went back home and found what didn't fit, and donated it all. Felt really great to have clothes you like that actually fit lol.
xmaneds
Happy PRIDE month ! !
delusionaldaydreams
I started getting my nails done a few months ago and I love it. You should try it if you haven’t already. Also started experimenting with different clothing like high heeled boots, skirts, etc and it has been liberating. It sucks that it isn’t more socially acceptable. Skirts are super comfortable, especially in warmer weather.
ZombieSideTackle
Awesome!
[deleted]
[deleted]
Bleshoo
Not exclusively
Diplocrap
I guess that other poster can die mad about it. 🥰 Happy Pride! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Jewdakris
I discovered wearing pink and purple in my 30s and the glory of buying slip on shoes, game changer. The second you stop caring what about trying to impress people it's great.
boruto
As a late blooming bisexual, I also discovered the awesomeness of purple in my 30s. Good times.
Bleshoo
Pink is definitely my jam. The majority of my wardrobe had been black and grey, but adding colour has been fantastic
Ryebread91
I'm 32 and still trying to figure out my look. My brother had his down in middle school. I was always a jeans/shorts and a baggy t-shirt guy. Didn't care how it looked too much as long as I was comfortable.
Bleshoo
Comfy, colourful turtleneck sweaters have been a game changer for me
Ryebread91
... I did love turtlenecks as a kid. Maybe it's time they make a comeback.
boruto
It sounds like you just got on the same path I did 5 years ago. My wife left me and I started hanging around with new people. I'd try out new looks with them and developed my own style (coincidentally grew my hair out). Hell, I even started wearing makeup occasionally (which i didn't expect to like as I'm a burly bearded dude). I hope you continue to have a wonderful time as you find yourself!
Bleshoo
I'm still a little wary of trying out makeup, always been nervous getting anywhere near my eyes. Can't even wear contacts. But I do want to try some day!
Ryebread91
I had the same hangup about contacts. Finally made myself try them though and after only a few weeks I was fine putting them in.
DontCommentWhenDrunk
Obviously with very limited information, but it sounds like you were compromising for the sake of your partner. I'm glad you've starting to find you; there'll be someone out there that loves the best version of you. And there's some weirdo out there that's waiting for you, too.
Bleshoo
I think the compromise was on a subconscious level. Making my wife happy was what made me happy, but I never really focused on myself. And having that taken away... It forced me to look back on a lot of things in my life, and things slowly started to make sense.
counterintel
I don't care if you're straight or otherwise, friends, family, loved ones, can come and go. You only ever get 1 you.
liudna
Did you at least get to keep the puppy?!
Bleshoo
I did at first, but quickly came to realize it was hard enough to take care of myself, let alone a dog that relied on me a lot, so I willingly gave him up to her. He seems to happy and that's what's important, even if it was a hard decision