ArchMagos
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Source: https://www.sportsmanor.com/the-fight-has-been-cancelled-elon-musks-mother-pulls-the-plug-on-dana-whites-ufc-plan-for-her-son-and-mark-zuckerberg/#:~:text=The%20potential%20bout%20between%20Elon,set%20the%20world%20on%20fire!
Dannyalcatraz
WEEAAAAAAK!
RedTailedHawk
varyael
I feel like Musk is about to move to Bel-Air
NaughtyNinja74
Copperbrat
"mY mOmMy wOn'T LeT mE"
iamjackscompletelackofcompassion
My mom said no
Lobo82
Musk used the Mike Pence excuse. "Mother won't let me." Hilarious. But also...
keelindsey
I don't think Elon could have beaten an android anyway.
GreatOdinsTaint
God damn, Musk really does fit the emotionally stunted rich man-child archetype in every way. Seriously, Mr. Richest Man in the Planet Mega-Conservative needs his mommy to defend him from a light sparring match?
themorebeer
Musk's new slogan: talk shit then quit.
metalrulercid
Yeah... Nobody gives a shit. You tell me Musk is fighting connor McGregor or any other brain damaged moron who could just lose it and fuck him up and I might care a little.
TheLastBeerBender
I'm not saying we should have a revolution, but if we did, we should make these two idiots fight.
Cranbananarama
His mom...and these two supposedly grown men are how old? I'm so confused by the absurdity.
2old4
She will give Elon a prize or trophy of some sort any way...
FartPoweredPogoStick
Who gives a shit? Fuck these shitheads.
TI99Kitty
But I wanted to see them slap-fight until one of them starts crying.
drinkingouttacups
My mom said I can’t leave the cul de sac.
IsolatedAsshole
Not sure which possibility is worse. 1. Musk made this up to get out of the fight. 2. She actually said no and he said "yes, mom..."
coffeeandprozac
Mama Cosma vibes.
lemmerustlethosejimmies
I mean it's still likely on until we hear the news from the UFC, or one of the two Billionaires' media people announce it. She can't cancel it for them.
likerice
Where was she when he decided to take on Twitter?
JacobKreutzfeldt
Hunting down dalmatians for a project.
baronvonsushi
TI99Kitty
Right? I figured he'd weasel out of it, but I never expected he'd use "My mommy says no" as his excuse.
afambelafonte
Zuck Farkus right now
lifeisadadjoke
Didn't he go on to be Christopher Titus' brother in the Titus sitcom?
newsguycraigevans
He had yellow eyes! I swear to God! Yellow eyes!
afambelafonte
And his crummy little toadie Steve Huffman
Jewdakris
No one wants them to actually fight, we want them to go tour the titanic
DrSchlepenstein
Stefnos
Nice
JAPONfan
"my moms says No"
ForceAwakenWasLame
“Fine but first I’ll bang my drums and then your mum”
MyWifiHatesMe
patotheduck
Let the mums fight.
Aforaseem
QuatermainFT
she needs to tell him not to put safety last on all his products, not abuse his workers, commit fraud, sexually harass people, admit when he's wrong, and not elevate the platform of literal nazi's.
lifeisadadjoke
She realized Musky could not defeat Zuck's style, and fearing her boy could be making a bad move (yeah, ironic), she stepped in.
EZPeaZ
All jokes aside he actually has been talking mma for a bit.
lifeisadadjoke
He's been training. Now I have about 15 years of training and fighting experience. From what I've seen, he's still pretty bad, but he's working on it.
MeowWoof
"are you nuts? He grew up upper middle class! He'll mop the floor with your privileged ass!"
badasschemist
She knew his style was unlockable.
FrogBotherer
Mark Zuckerberg's schtoyl is completely unblockable.
lifeisadadjoke
And the South Park Mark is exactly how I picture him in real life.
TI99Kitty
He looks too human in South Park. Live action Zuck looks more like Data from Star Trek.
lifeisadadjoke
Good point!
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
You cannot defeat his schtoyl
lifeisadadjoke
Such a great episode though
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
It’s because of his unstoppable schtoyl that the episode is so great, you cannot defeat the episode
lifeisadadjoke
It's an unstoppable episode because of his schtoyl...weeeang, pew pew pew.
fractalsphere
If it's not pistols at dawn, it's not a real billionaire fight. Winner just takes over the others holdings and companies.
maststick
Pistols for two, coffee for one - has always been one of my favourite lines
HelgenBorderPatrol
I would be totally down for legalized dueling if you added some bureaucracy to it with liability waivers and maybe a deposit for any broken property/medical expenses, along with a recognized court appointed witness.
MickeyCallahan
"But I don't *want* Twitter." - Zuck, probably
Mithos56
Id accept a balloon race around the world as well
pleaseconsiderthatImightbejoking
why not both? https://theinternetsaysitstrue.com/2022/01/03/lepique-and-grandpre-the-hot-air-balloon-duel/
40Knots
You make an excellent point.
VerifiedApproves
C. Money Possibility Control. Not a bad anime.
pleaseconsiderthatImightbejoking
Pistols at dawn, in a submarine next to the titanic.
Tumescentpie
Hand grenades in a small room would be best
ImAGrower
How about the loosers' money getting split with anyone who shows up in person to watch the duel? Like we could have a crazy size crowd and still all take home a comfortable amount.
BreathBeStank
A venue that could support 100000 people would have each person going home a multi millionaire
maststick
If the whole world turned up, they’d still get ≈$23 dollars a head. Every man, woman, child
ThrowAwayAcct0000
OMG if they fought to the death, I would actually watch.
maststick
I’d buy a ticket. In fact I’d load their pistols, brew the coffee and call the pace count
nicholcm
First one to reach the sun wins
nicholcm
Open competition to all billionaires
ArchMagos
Fun fact: due to our current angular momentum, it is actually easier to fling things out of the solar system than it is to fling things into the sun.
PineappleLoopsBroether
That’s quitter talk.
HonHomes
So it's a proper challenge then! go on billionaires! try to beat it!
mbzlr
I am okay with them being flung out of our solar system, also.
EarthTourist
I thought that whole thing was a joke?
nicky512
Zuckerberg can really fight, as odd as that sounds. He trains a lot. Musk was trying to stay relevant. So, it was a joke for him.
CheeseIsNaturesFudge
Tbh I assumed (based on stature alone) musk would win, didn't know zuck trained.
nicky512
Zuck will never be a professional fighter, but if I had to fight one of them, (aside from having a chance to punch either one in the face) I’d choose Musk.
slatefistcrunch
In an interview they asked what he does to stay fit and relieve stress. He said he fights. Trains MMA and other martial arts. I would've loved to see that fight.
gradeD
It must be nice to take a break from destroying society once in a while to get some exercise.
DangerBaer
ArchMagos
It appeared that Zuck was serious, at least. I think anyone with an ounce of common sense realized it was never actually going to happen.
TheFishFace
I mean he just replied "send me location" right? Could easily have been a joke too, if zuck didn't think musk was serious
misstwosense
Listen. We thought that ass clown buying Twitter was a joke too, until it wasn’t. Tr*mp seemed like a joke at first. The hard line between common sense and madness no longer exists. Be skeptical but also be careful about outright dismissing the potential insanity that continues to unfold.
manystripes
If twitter really wanted to make some money they could sell tickets to see Musk punched in the face and their financial troubles would be over
EarthTourist
Jesus. I thought it was like an Onion thing.
warriorofdiscord
Zuck actually trains BJJ, and has won, I think, a small handful of tournaments.
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
He's pretty into UFC from what I understand. And actually does a bunch of sports aside. Whereas Musk is a shapeless ghoul whose only exercise is impregnating every woman who won't say no. And possibly some who did.
donorkort
Nono, you have to phrase it as a question and end it with "I'm just asking questions", otherwise it's libel.
warriorofdiscord
That almost sounds like respect for Zuck.
Dogeus
I'm sure BJJ is easy when you are as slippery as a leech.
Randomice
Musk needed his mother to get him out of a fight with another boy?
nickwinters
He got in one little finger and his mom got scared
LisaSimps0nsDr3aM
Fits perfectly to his minds maturity …
Isorikk
This was nowhere on my bingo card
Bigblackdick69
Sounds on brand for him.
SlutAtNight
You should not be surprised;)
Akule
"MomaaaaAAAaaaa heee's traaaaining and people are posting pictures of my faaaAAaaaat!"
NotaCPA
always has
ValidGirthCertificate
A creep and a lizard fighting would be funny tho
qwertdeep
A creep and a lizard describes each individual quite well
thatauzzieguy
She looks like a super villain. Just saying.
AreYouABadPerson
It's important to note that this is far, far more hilarious when you know that that fuckboy frequently posts using his mother's account.
AreYouABadPerson
So there's a decent chance he FAKED his mother calling off the fight.
Ninjainslippers
I bet you any amount of money that now he goes on twitter and brags about how he would have kicked zucks ass.
SirHonytawk
That is because twitter is the only platform that still tolerates him. All because the special little boy needs preferential treatment (AKA the "author_is_elon" code).
Sensiblyinteresting
Important to not, this is His biological mother, his step mother is his sister that his father adopted when she was 3 and married when she turned 18 so he could have children with her.
qwertdeep
Is he Woody Allen’s estranged son?
Shonamac
'D'you know who THE FUCK MY MOTHER IS????'
JoeT85
Haha! Did his mom call Zuckerberg's mom or nanny or Droid shop..... or whatever?
qwertdeep
I’d laugh even more if it was Zuckerberg himself, imagine someone’s mum trying to talk you out of a fight with their son
vidiv
A fight he himself initiated, to boot
TwistedHumor732
Needs his mother to get him out of a fight with *space lizard *
Strategicgnomer
Yeah man, I was hoping one of them would bust out the death ray. My hope was on lizuck, because we know bruncle musk's would have fallen apart when he activated it.
AllGloryToTheDarkLord
They arent space lizards.. they are pre-human lizards evolved on earth as the most elite of sentient dinosaurs who fled to earths core to stay warm when chicxulub wiped out most life on earth 65million years ago. They engineered and ruled over humans as god-kings for the last 100,000 years or so, wearing human skins to maintain their power and influence over us while eating human babies to maintain their reptilian lifespans into the hundreds or more years, like turtles crocodiles and sharks.
DannoWaso
DarkBusterBaron
No Bill Gates is the lizard Zuckerberg is a robot.
Asadsadsadclown
I wanted to see Zuck destroy him. The man is secretly incredibly strong.
q2grapple
He’s got some of that “special ed” strength.
VulpesIncendium
*the android. Whatever Zuck is definitely isn't human.
nclu
Mommy Musk: "Don't you go fighting that Zuckerberg boy. He'll eat you alive with that BBQ sauce he's always carrying around" Zuckerberg preparing for the fight:
WiiShaker
Ha ha. This one.
shackattacktime
Isn't there a picture of Zuck in shape wave or wind boarding? Meanwhile I know there's a picture of chubby boy Elon shirtless at the beach as well
PickleRiiiiiiiiiiiiick
I mean, homie *is* battle tested. Hes won several medals in Brazillian Ju-Jitsu.
richaMarbleModel
Didn’t he recently lose a fight and argued with the judge until they change the result giving him the win?
CarrieAnneCoder
When rich people do it, it's called "litigation"
CelestialSea
If Zuck needs someone to fight I'll step in. We can wager half our respective fortunes on the outcome!
qwertdeep
Do you think you’d perform better than Zuck?
DarkBusterBaron
Probably not but I still could beat Elon Musk in a fight I've got years of rage bottled up and it's partially his fault.
qwertdeep
Couldn’t we all? I’d rather let a professionally trained dude with pent up nerd rage fight instead of myself though. I’m a big guy with a brown belt in Jujutsu but I know within 6 months any billionaire could get the training to kick nearly any of our asses if they spend enough money. I can’t stand him but look at Logan Paul and he’s not even hitting the billions yet
vegivamp
They just want a chance to punch Elon in the face without repercussions. Don't we all?
qwertdeep
A chance to punch him would be enough, the repercussions could be worth it. If the stories about Zuck winning bjj tourneys are true then I’d rather Zuck own him than me, especially if Musk’s mum is trying to stop it
Fyreworx
Ha. knew he would pussy out. Now he'll call the zuck a pedo and zoom off to mars or something.
SavageDrums
As long as he doesn't come back...
Nalianna
I hope it's a hastily built, home-made spaceship...
TheTanGinger
Hopefully he stays there
mikeymikeymikeymikeymikeymikeymikeymikeymikeymikey
If only
JustAnotherVictimOfAmbientMorality
Wish a muthafucka would.
Shaodyn
He wishes he could zoom off to Mars. Then he reminds himself that, if he did, he wouldn't have his legions of obsessed fans telling him how awesome he is. And obviously he can't go without that, so he stays here.
xovoxovox
I would imagine a trip to mars would go about as well for him as the recent trip to the titanic.
CaroleBaskingShark
He was the ONLY ONE of them that didn't have the balls to get in his own rocket. He's not zooming anywhere
imgurj17
Hahaha this comment actually made me lol
Peekachooo
I’m rooting for an implosion
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
If he zooms off to Mars, I will consider that a huge win for humanity. Good riddance!
NonstopRampage
Imagine if oligarchs fleeing to space, breaks some kind of interstellar treaty we had no idea about- and a fucking space laser parked down on Enceladus takes him out soon as he leaves our orbit. Which is, to say, that the bastards responsible for the worst parts of our society, and possibly the root causes of what will doom our species, making it into space before WE all do... can only be bad for the universe. It's like letting cancer get so severe, *it becomes infectuous, by touch*
FrankTheThunderbird
Oh please, yes.
jonathantoast
when? When is he leaving for Mars?
RuBisCO1
I seriously want him to go and never return!
ArchMagos
Yeah, anyone paying attention knew he was gonna welch, Zuckerberg legitimately seems like someone that actually trains and would demolish a person who probably doesn't even exercise.
splatking
he's training brazilian jiu jitsu, entry level white belt. did some recent training with mikey musumeci, who's a world class BJJ fighter. so if musk doesn't train at all, zuck would have a real chance of a legit fucked-him-up win. either way, both those dudes suck? lol
tarnok
I can't believe I was rooting for zuck to fuck up musk. Wtf timeline
vegivamp
We'd have all been happy with either outcome, but that one was the most likely.
squelcheswetly
Like a killer android.
TacoPoweredHelicopter
Fairly sure zuck might have actually killed musk.
Dajova
Imagine paying attention to what 2 babies think...
Feralkyn
He does and he has martial arts medals.
Shaodyn
Also, Musk is notorious for not following through on what he says he's going to do. I wouldn't trust him if he said he was going to get out of bed in tomorrow morning.
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Spooner1
I’m not sure you understand how strong three grown men would be… I have sincere doubts that you are Hercules.
Dagordae
You’ve been able to lift a quarter ton since you were a boy? You should probably contact Guinness, that’s certainly an amateur record. Or you don’t actually know how strong 3 men are and are ego stroking on the internet to a crowd who just LOVES to shit on people trying to brag and doing it poorly.
callocosplay
He probably meant as strong as 3 emaciated men who have been starved to near death...
SoraHjort
Musk's only fights flame wars, and he tends to lose those. Zuck on the other hand has been in Jui-Jistu competitions.
VashTehStampede
Because lifting the weights is what the human male is societally expected to to, Zuckerberg does it.
BubblesTheFish
I wish to be human. I will lift weights.
VashTehStampede
DarthFutuza
Plus you know, his cybernetic lizardman strength.
Tzinnich
I'm pretty sure he is more into combat sport for what I've seen.
VashTehStampede
Like...blood sport?
ctotheg2
Zuckerberg won a mini BJJ tourney a little while ago too
ProgeriaProstitutes
I'm familiar with the first two letters but what does the last "J" stand for?
ExPFCWintergreen
Jealousy
autodidacticcortex
Doesn’t he supposedly kill and butcher all his own meat?
Ja5per
Damn, he gets penis replacements?? The rich really have everything
nopost
Sort of, it's more like he ambushes fired Meta employees and skins them to make new skin suits
compused
I didn't think androids had to eat.